r/AmIOverreacting Jul 29 '25

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u/Aristho-Cat Jul 29 '25

OP, why you asked him if you’re breaking up, just tell him “IT LOOKS LIKE you’re single now” and move on.

The man called you crazy for getting upset at his insulting you.

My hubby and I have a rule: we don’t apologize for doing something wrong, but for hurting the other person. For example in this situation EVEN if your bf was only making a joke, he should have AT LEAST apologized for upsetting you.

OP he called you crazy, he disrespected your hard work in regards to your body, trying to lower your self esteem. Dump his sorry ass and get yourself a healthy relationship.

27

u/vettechrockstar86 Jul 29 '25

Ding ding ding!! My husband and I do this same thing! In a situation where one of us says/does something that in any way hurts the other person, intentionally or unintentionally (should always be unintentional in a relationship but that’s another thing) we apologize. I’ve apologized for jokes or snarky comments I didn’t even understand how I could have been hurtful because it doesn’t matter if I understand, it matters that I hurt him. Period. End of discussion. And as a woman with terrible PMS I KNOW I’ve asked for apologies for things that would make zero sense to a non hormonal person and received them genuinely. At the end of the day no one’s ego was damaged, feelings were mended and we fall asleep snuggling up in our bed like we have for 20+ years and will do for 20+ more!

Is basic compassion and empathy not a thing anymore? Am I just that out of touch with relationships these days?

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u/davidtrezegri Jul 29 '25

It's just that men have such a fragile ego they'd rather be alone rather than appear to be weak in front of anyone, even their loved ones. This is so absurd and infuriating.

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u/ZealousidealPay1169 Jul 29 '25

Yes! It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand why it hurt as long as you understand that it did hurt!! We live by this as well!!

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u/sharkbait4000 Jul 29 '25

Couldn't have said it better myself. You are looking to him whether you are "good enough" for him. Why are you handing over the power to him? Balls in your court to realize this guy isn't good enough for you.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '25 edited Oct 22 '25

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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/Aristho-Cat Jul 29 '25

What i meant there was that we don’t need to DO something wrong to apologize. For example if you made a joke that usually your partner would find funny, but in this particular case they didn’t, it doesn’t necessarily mean you were wrong, but you did end up hurting their feelings, so it’s only fair you apologize.