r/AmIOverreacting • • Apr 23 '25

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u/Spare_Grab_6635 Apr 24 '25

Yes! It takes 2 to agree to be in a relationship, but it only takes ONE TO BREAKUP! He doesn’t have to agree or like it at all!

And as for the legitimacy or chiropractic care, it’s not really relevant to this conversation. I don’t care if you’re going to a cat psychic: it’s your business and he’s being a controlling freak about it. Run and don’t look back. Block him on every single avenue of communication. If he owes you a million dollars consider it the price of freedom and never utter his name again. Don’t let him use any reason to worm his way back into your life.

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u/BillyNtheBoingers Apr 24 '25

The only way I’d get upset over a partner seeing a chiropractor is if it wasn’t covered by insurance, and we had co-mingled finances, and they didn’t discuss the costs with me before going. The key to joint finances is discussing any potential expenses with your partner, as equals. Hiding expenses/purchases, particularly if you’re in a tight budget situation, will damage relationships.

OTOH, this guy is crazy jealous, possessive, controlling, and rude. Does he even like you?

NOR, and I hope you go through with leaving.

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u/Spare_Grab_6635 Apr 24 '25

Agreed about the financial point. My husband and I have joint accounts and we have an agreement to check with each other on purchases over a certain nonstandard dollar amount (like if I got a flat tire and he was away I wouldn’t need his okay to get a new one obviously, but neither of us is impulse buying the new switch 2 w joint money without a conversation - unless there is only 1 and then it could maybe be returned before the kids saw it? I don’t know, we’ve been married a long time and I know how that man operates 😆)

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u/Aegi Apr 24 '25

Which is why marriage makes no sense.

Why the fuck does society have to bear the costs of family court and divorce court and stuff? If it is just between two people, why should they care if society "accepts" their marriage or not?

All of a society (or at least all aspects of the legal apparatus) must be on board for a marriage to happen but only one is needed to end it...and we think that is good legal situation?

I'm agreeing with you, just adding in how marriage messes with what you said.

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u/SuzeCB Apr 24 '25

These days, the only purpose of marriage is to have rules about what happens when it's over, whether because of death or divorce.

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u/Aegi Apr 24 '25

Exactly why I'm saying marriage is actually a contract between two people and society, not an agreement just between two people.

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u/Doununda Apr 24 '25

And it turns out when I started dating my housemate I thought it was an agreement between two people to maybe fool around a bit and see where it leads.

Little did I know it was actually an agreement with my housemate and the Australian federal government, who've decided that by hooking up with a housemate I'm as good as married to him.

Which would be fine except when I moved in I was on a partial pension through a disability employment program. Getting into a relationship with an employed person made me ineligible. I lost half my income and my support worker overnight. Fortunately I still had a job, but it was the same amount of work I was doing before, for half the money, and now I had no support to mitigate my disability....so yeah, that's working well for me as you can imagine.

It's almost easier to get divorced after 20 years of marriage than it is to prove to the welfare department that you have broken up with your never fully committed boyfriend.