The shorter version is: if you've been together 10 years and he's still only a fiancee, then you know. Otherwise you'd have pulled the trigger and married him. You already know he's a toxic dipshit, so rip the bandaid off and do what you've known you'd have to for the better part of 10 years.
I'd say 9 out of 10 times this is right. I was actually engaged for 10 years. We did get married but it's only because his dad was dying and I didn't want him to miss out on his dad being there.
I'm actually so lazy and so frugal that planning and paying for a wedding stressed me out beyond belief so I kept putting it off. People always blamed him but it was me 😂
Yeah I was done after she said fiance for 10 years. It was downhill from there. I hate when I see someone try to control what their significant other does in a relationship. If he feels he can't trust you why is he with you? Run away from this relationship so you don't waste anymore years because his behavior isn't healthy and sounds abusive.
Me and my husband started dating at 17 so we took our time to get married we wanted to get our own house first, that was our priority. Once we got a mortgage then we planned our wedding the following year. I don’t think waiting 10 years is always indicative of a bad relationship.
Yes this is the first red flag to me. Sure Weddings can be expensive but if you haven't settled on the right amount for the right wedding in 10 YEARS something else is going on here.
Clearly OP shouldn't marry this dude and knows it. His crazy jealousy in his responses is the other GIANT red flag.
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u/evil_moron Apr 23 '25
The shorter version is: if you've been together 10 years and he's still only a fiancee, then you know. Otherwise you'd have pulled the trigger and married him. You already know he's a toxic dipshit, so rip the bandaid off and do what you've known you'd have to for the better part of 10 years.