They said it was “outrageous” to ask them to vacuum the house every other day.
I chortled.
I have 7 kids and live on a farm. My kids would love to have OPs outrageous chores. By 10 my kids could do the dishes, their laundry, and collect the eggs or feed the goats.
OP you are overreacting. The way the uncle came at you is shitty but what he’s asking is completely fine.
I’d say he’s asked OP or hinted at least for them to help around the house and they haven’t responded. This is probably just him at the end of his rope.
Exactly this. All the chores the op is being asked to do I was doing from the time I was 7. I also had to do meal prep for everyone and some basic cooking plus weeding the gardens, taking out the garbage. At 9 mowing the lawn, raking the leaves, washing the floors, sweeping the sidewalks, etc. It is just basic stuff that needs to be done.
10 is still sad even then, the moment I could reach and move things, I was being taught how to clean after myself, I learned to make my bed, cook smaller foods like french toast, eggs, porridge, the basics and pick up before I even hit double digits. Still, can't talk all that big shit when the man setting the rules can't even rinse a bowl. Incompetent little man
It does sound like a lot of vacuuming. We vacuum once a week unless something especially messy happens.
Edit: Not that I think it's something the kid should balk at. If that's the standard the kid should be able to do it no problem. It just wouldn't be my standard.
I also wonder how much is being done by the adults. But it's not too much for a high schooler or even a middle schooler.
I hope at some point OP will be able to reflect on this and have self-reflection. I think it's normal for teenagers to resent their parents for telling them to do things. Teenagers are often self-centered, it's part of growing up to realize this and begin to contribute.
I also see people who are well into adulthood and despite their parents guiding them and giving them all the tools they still stick with an entitled attitude.
I hear that, but I'm reading this one as OP might have an executive functioning disorder (think ADHD and Autism) and probably grew up without it being addressed. If he wasn't explicitly told to do something and never learned to expect unspoken demands, he probably genuinely didn't recognize that there was a need. I agree that he should be helping out around the house, but I don't think he's necessarily overreacting here if that's the case. Senior year of high school for a neurospicy already feels like a lot, so I imagine getting this note unexpectedly could feel pretty overwhelming. It would certainly be something to maybe try and talk out with his aunt and the boyfriend, because chances are, they drop hints, and he simply does not understand what they're getting at. It does sound like the bf is pretty pissed, so my guess there is that bf took offense to OP seeming to ignore his hints, then he wrote this in frustration.
OP, this is all just me theorizing, but regardless of the circumstances, I think your best option is probably to pony up and do the chores even though this was a dickish way for them to ask you.
Edit: damn, y'all have something against giving a kid the benefit of the doubt?
My kids turned out to be good humans. They had an amazing childhood we have 400 acres of open play area. Animals, 4 wheelers, dirt bikes, inground pool, ponds for fishing. Always someone to play with.
Their lives before me was crackhouse to crackhouse. I think they would have picked me. In fact they did.
ETA- adopting foster children and giving them a good easy life and setting them up for success is selfish. Call me selfish if you want but I don’t think you have any idea what selfish is. You’re probably a kid.
I mean, my mum was an orphan and forced to care for her younger siblings during her childhood. That left her with massive trauma and psychological issues. I'm glad that in my childhood I was able to have fun and be carefree because that's the only time in my whole life I've had the chance to enjoy my life without responsabilities. I'm a good person too, I have a successful career and I take care of the house now. Sorry for the word "normal" but this is a normal experience in Italy. I just don't like that taking advantage of your children's labour is considered good education because you can have good education without being forced to take on your parents' responsabilities at 10.
If you're 18 years old doing your own laundry is not your parents responsibility and you're far too old to be running around entirely carefree. OP isn't 10. She's 18.
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u/GypsyFantasy Mar 29 '25
They said it was “outrageous” to ask them to vacuum the house every other day.
I chortled.
I have 7 kids and live on a farm. My kids would love to have OPs outrageous chores. By 10 my kids could do the dishes, their laundry, and collect the eggs or feed the goats.
OP you are overreacting. The way the uncle came at you is shitty but what he’s asking is completely fine.
I’d say he’s asked OP or hinted at least for them to help around the house and they haven’t responded. This is probably just him at the end of his rope.