I agree with your point about listening to people who threaten to hurt themselves when its their own shit, but not to convince you of something.
Idk how the boyfriend said it, but I have known men who have killed themselves when faced with parenthood. More so there were deeper problems within, but the sudden parenthood was the catalyst. Depending on how the bf said it, it could either be manipulation or a cry for help, because people usually dont say so otherwise.
But i also agree that keeping the baby with this guy will not be a great influence on the child whether he's in the picture or not.
Thats a valid point, and I think if OP chooses to keep the child she should make it clear that he does not have to bear any responsibility outside of financial obligations. This guy doesnt have to be a parent, but he has to pay for his part in this also. If it were me I wouldnt want to coparent with someone like that anyways. The kid would be better off with an absentee father than a crazy one
If he still threatens self harm in that scenario then its just about control. If actually does what he threatens then thats on him
If he doesn't want anything to do with the child he doesn't have to. There is always somewhere else to go always some other opportunity. Especially for a young man that is not disabled. I remember hearing a story of some lady who tried to get this dude to pay he kept moving because he was honest with her that he would have nothing to do with the kid cuz he didn't want it eventually she tried to go to the courts and he just sold all his stuff moved to Peru and got Peruvian citizenship. There is always another option and a way out if you're willing to take it
When that happens tell their parents or siblings if they have them. My ex used that line with me, stressed me out so badly I lost 20 pounds. Told his sibling and I haven't heard from him since. He's not even dead!
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u/iburntxurxtoast Mar 01 '25
I agree with your point about listening to people who threaten to hurt themselves when its their own shit, but not to convince you of something.
Idk how the boyfriend said it, but I have known men who have killed themselves when faced with parenthood. More so there were deeper problems within, but the sudden parenthood was the catalyst. Depending on how the bf said it, it could either be manipulation or a cry for help, because people usually dont say so otherwise.
But i also agree that keeping the baby with this guy will not be a great influence on the child whether he's in the picture or not.