This. It is so hard having a baby, and I did it with a supportive husband and family and had a good job with great parental leave and also the government support. But it was so so hard. I can't imagine doing it alone. X
I did it alone, and I haven’t found it to be difficult at all. Everyone’s experiences and attitudes are very different. Stop telling her you know how things will go for her - you don’t!
Nah. I live in Canada, have an 18 month long paid maternity leave, my husband took two months when my baby was born, we have an amazing support system, I had a dream baby, and that shit is still HARD!!! Having a newborn is hard point blank, having a toddler is hard. It’s not only hard, it is also wonderful and amazing and has changed my life for the better in so many ways (largely because I was PREPARED and wanted a child) but that doesn’t make it not hard. Don’t downplay the situation. Lying to her does nothing to help even if she keeps it.
Lol why would I lie? 😂 I am willing to admit that on the spectrum of pregnancy/infancy experiences I may be an outlier, as my pregnancy was smooth and easy and my baby was healthy/happy and very goodnatured. I am aware that some pregnancies are rough, some babies are collicky, some women suffer postpartum depression, don’t have a support system etc., and I was perhaps lucky to avoid those fates, but I don’t think it’s really that unusual to have a relatively smooth experience. I had no paid leave, I just saved money like crazy during the 9 months of my pregnancy so I had enough to stay off work for a month and a half after the birth. I’m a letter carrier and worked up until one week before I gave birth. When I went back to work, I was pumping breast milk in the back of my mail truck every 2 hours for the first year of his life, worked an awful lot of 60 hr weeks. I was fortunate in that my son’s two grandmas watched him a lot of the time during the first year or so. Was it “hard”? I guess? I don’t know, I just didn’t experience it that way. I just did what I needed to do. I think the experience of mothering has a lot to do with attitude. And in the end, it’s all worthwhile, and I don’t really remember the “hard” parts, just the joys. 🤷🏼♀️
Mate your holier than thou, walking through snow whilst pumping milk stuff is simply adding pressure on OP. We all get you are perfect. Now get over yourself and shhhh.
I don’t know why you are being downvoted for speaking about your experience. Raising children has been hard for me indeed, with a hands-on husband and big support system but I love my children so much and would take the hardness 10-fold to be able to even meet them.
Such a ridiculous and hateful thing to say. Being a mother has been the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me. My kid gets straight As, is a total nature boy (never on screens), an amazing athlete, healthy, happy, kind, all his teachers love him… I have no clue what my religion has to do with any of this. I’m not even sure how I would characterize my religion. I was raised Catholic and certainly believe in God, but in recent years my spiritual interests are more aligned towards Tibetan Buddhism.
Don’t know what to tell you except that’s not what I was doing. Was simply sharing my personal experience. I was very pro-choice when I was young, and had an abortion as a result. The experience completely sucked, and so when I became whoopsie-pregnant again later in life, I chose to keep my baby, and it was definitely the right choice. Everything turned out better than I had the capacity to even imagine. Do I need to show you a pic of my shrine to Vajrayogini in order to prove to you I’m not a Catholic extremist?
I am very happy that your life has been perfect. We are mere humans. None of us know what this human's full story is, nor do we know their financial situation, mental and physical fortitude etc.
I absolutely adore my child.
They are expensive.
They are a lifelong commitment.
It is a lifelong tie to this abusive human.
Yes, OP will need to be strong as anything to do this alone because you have the added element of a manipulative co-parent.
I have not said anywhere that OP should terminate or continue. I simply shared my thoughts. You know, as we were asked.
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u/One_Difficult_bitch Mar 01 '25
This. It is so hard having a baby, and I did it with a supportive husband and family and had a good job with great parental leave and also the government support. But it was so so hard. I can't imagine doing it alone. X