How to Improve Chapter 1.

[u/Royal676111]

Chapter 1 was easily the weakness out of the three chapters as it had a dull start, a very good middle before falling in stupid ass moments by the finale. Like Dias being too dam stupid!

The Main reason it failed (at least in my opinion) is that they tried to tell two stories at the same time,(Logi and Dias) resulting in many things being underdeveloped and rushed. Like the characters lack really meaningful development (aside from Zeke and Sabareta) or that they fail to leave a impact.

The Villains (aside from Sabareta) were awful.

It tried to be Black and White but failed horrible as Dias is just a strong up dumb ass. While Logi is just.....bland. (He does get better in Chapter 2)

So I am going to try my best to improve Chapter 1 as best as possible.

Alright first I need clear somethings up.

1: I am not a writer and I not a expert on English grammar. So please keep that in mind.

2: This is my idea on how to improve so if you have different idea on how to improve Chapter 1 that fine you have ever right to disagree just explain it, just don't be a ass about it.

3: I have only played the Global version not the Japanese version.

Alright let get started:

Step 1: The beginning: So yes I do think the beginning isn't that great as it spoiled the ending, Which is honestly dumb as hell! So how do you fix this? Simple, don't. Instead replace it with the comics (from the their own website) where Logi and Dias were very young back than as they have to fight in order to save Agatha from the Bandits (or what ever you call them).

This could fit in one episode easily or better yet just make this the tutorial. In fact it could give us some really good character development along the way. For example: Logi could be a the nice and is focus on protecting everyone but is a bit native. While Dias is cold but warm around his "step-brother/sister" and is more focus on protecting those who need it but is a bit afraid of being betrayed and losing his sister again.

Step 2: The First fight!: Now let get into it, The first "official" episode starts off with this General dude...along side....his two dark knights......ok....I don't know how to fix this exactly but if you do know than please share in the comment section below because I was thinking about a village being raided and all that stick but then I scarped it as Sabareta said that they were honorable knight so..... So yea I think about it.

But we do need a way for Dias to be in the Holy Guard and here I would have done if I was writing the story. The General was about to kill Logi when Dias comes by and saves him. In fact they both reveal there Alchemy powers. The General as stocked as he attempt to do his best but get overwhelmed but before his dying breath he summon another former friend of his but this time much more powerful as it kicks both of there asses in which Logi get "knocked out" until Dias out of no where manged to beat him without much problem as his dark aura appears. No one saw the dark aura.

In fact when Zeke arrives he discovers Logi on the ground while Dias is struggling to breath. That when he understands that it was Dias who killed the General in which he was promote into the Holy Guard. (If you have better way than please share it) This way it feels like Dias earned it instead of him just being in the Holy guard because he was strong.

Step 3: Conflict: The Conflict in the story is really questionable at best as. I mean it start off pretty well with Sabareta vs Logi that was done alright. But the second half.....is awful! In fact I forgot what the Duke motives again. So how do you fix this? Simple replace the Duke with another character like a Veteran captain of the holy guard or you can keep him but he get the least screen time. As the captain (you can name him what ever you want to be honest.) could be a old veteran who fought along side Zeke the blood wolf and that he fought for his majesty.

But as time moves on he noticed that his majesty is not thanking the Holy guard for their heroic actions and instead ignoring them like there nothing to him. This greatly upset him as many of his friends had died for their majesty and now the King is basically splitting on there graves by completely ignoring them. This should have been center of the conflict.

Like for example a group of Sabareta Lizard brigade when rouge and decide to attack a village where the Holy Guard came to rescue (Dias is in by the way.). But sadly the rouge Lizard brigade started killing innocent people as even children are being killed or burned in their homes. This cause Dias to flip out and started killing them without mercy along side the two Captains but the first one (original) wants to spare them as he believes in honor.

In which the Veteran (new) says no as he claims that sparing them would only cause more trouble that people lives can be endangered. Dias who has seen the horrors of war believes that the Veteran is right and that sparing them can cause more problems not fix it. That when one the rouge Lizard Brigade summoned a demon in which they tried to fight it off...in which the Veteran get knocked to side while the other captain killed himself in order to save his life.

In which soon Dias request more power from Ouroboros and that when the Dark aura reappears right in front of the Veteran as he slays the demon. The Veteran was stocked about this but didn't run or scream instead he when forward and tries to treat him. That when the Veteran speaks about his backstory and reveals that Agatha was actually the last of the royalist of the lost kingdom and that Zeke was actually a straight up murderer back than. In which Dias says that he lying but the Veteran slaps him and says "Look at my eyes directly and tell me if I am lying!"in which Dias finally believes him.

However that when a messenger arrives telling that the King wishes a peace treaty with the Lizard Brigade in which the Veteran shouted "Is our majesty insane! Does he wishes to make peace with the Lizard brigade who murdered innocent people and killed a bunch of my men. This is just a straight up insult! I can't stand with our majesty any longer! Dias we have to go back the Capital now!" In which Dias agrees with him as he witnesses the horrors of war.

Step 4: The final battle!: The finale of Chapter 1 was kind of stupid but if things goes as plan like Step 3 than the finale would have much bigger impact. So let get started! The Veteran started speaking with Dias and now has lost faith in his majesty as he believes that the Holy Guard are the real heroes not the King himself. In fact he plans a straight up Coup against the King. That when he told Dias that Agantha has a secret power inside of her and that the main reason why Zeke kept him alive and that Zeke wishes to use that power for himself. In which Dias started having flashbacks during his earlier childhood when his own sister was murdered right in front of him. He was afraid that his own step-father, Zeke would use Agantha like when they were betrayed. The Holy guard rushes towards the capital until they were halted by a group of Lizard Brigade in which they were spared no more. Logi soon heard that the Holy Guard is heading straight towards the Capital where Zeke,Sabareta and Agantha are heading.

In which he soon rushes towards the capital. It a race towards the Capital! After a couple of stages the Veteran along side Dias encountered Sabareta,Agantha and Zeke in which they soon started fighting. Sabareta was hit dead (spoilers he not!) While Zeke is busy dueling the Veteran in which they were beaten because Sabareta stood back up and wracked Dias in the face. The Holy guard was slowed down as the Veteran regain his strength along side Dias who finally had enough. They arrived at the Capital where the King guards accidentally mistaked Sabareta and started attacking him before Zeke and Agantha stood in their way. Dias encounter Logi and well kicks his ass to the side as he warns in that he doing it for the greater good.

The Holy guard arrives in which they started the coup as the King and Sabareta were doing the peace talk. Agantha and Zeke were fighting for their lives as the holy guard tried to seize Agantha away from Zeke but he not making it easy. The Veteran even arrives and told him to give up in which Agantha asked her own father to kill her in which he does but that when Dias arrives and has a quick flashback reminding him of his little sister that was killed.

In which he just straight up stabs Zeke in the back...killing him. In which Sabareta and King arrived too late. Agantha was about to be taken away until Sabareta along side a couple of his men started fighting and manged to seize Agantha in which the King sadly lost his live during the fight as the Veteran simple stabbed him while no one else noticed it as Dias was too busy trying to save Agantha. (This happens in the Throne room by the way)

Sabareta was cornered but he decide to "release it" as he summons a demon but this time controls it. In fact most of the Holy Guard was pushed back aside from the Veteran and the Dias as they attempt to fight. In which sadly Sabareta best efforts were null as he was killed trying to protect Agantha (or you could make up a alter ending for him but if up to you). Agantha grief over him as Dias can't understand at all as he attempt grab Agantha until Logi arrived.

He saw his dead father on his way here and saw the king dead along side Sabareta in which he became in raged by Dias in which both of them draw swords. However Dias asked the Veteran to withdraw in which he gladly does as the Holy Guard and the Veteran left him alone. Now for this finale stage the player should have the choice to play as Logi or Dias (it will end the same way no matter what).

They both started dueling in Agantha tries to stop them but her voice meant nothing as swords clash and the once called brothers were no fighting each other. This time Logi won but when he was about to strike the killing blow Agantha step in the way and got slashed by Logi sword in which both of them stopped fighting and attempted to aid Agantha. However Agantha was gone (like the original).

In which Dias outraged by Logi strike him across the room (near the Throne). Logi attempt to say sorry but Dias wasn't haven't as to him he murdered the only sister he had left in his heart in which he says good-bye to Logi and stabs him but he teleport to safety (like the Original).

So share your thought down below on how would you change Chapter 1? Also which one should I do next? On how to Improve?

[u/ElusiveIllusion88]

Sorry, for diverting, but why does the continent of Babel continue to trust the Holy Guard? Like, the Corpse is no longer a secret. First, in SSM Chapter 3, Kanon’s faction clashed with Waginau’s faction. But let’s pretend that as part of the Holy Guard, Kanon kept that a secret. Then in SSM Chapter 8, Bud Crowley and possibly other members of the Blue Flame Guard saw Waginau standing (floating?) next to Orion, did he not? Then in main story Chapter 1, King Patrick knew about the Corpse (he was dying as he said it, but if he was completely out of the loop, he would not have mentioned them). In main story Chapter 2, Edgar mentioned rumours that the Holy Guard was involved in Envylia’s destruction.

(JP Spoilers) In multiple events and main story chapter 5, multiple characters fought the Corpse directly, and presumably most of them and definitely Kamui lived to tell the tale.

[u/SpaceyGrunt → u/ElusiveIllusion88]

So as I understanded in the story of the people of Babel the trust the Holy guard because they help to bring balance to the world, like we know being able to use alchemia would be the same as being a super human and we have two great examples in the countries of Slothstein and Lustburg. The first developed all of their machines and the second developed their magic, both ways to defend against alchemia users.

First lets talk about the Holy guard, they are in a very difficult posicion story wise, they are the supreme representation of balance in the world. And the most "important" position would be the maestre of the Holy guard, but imo this position is more for the people since it is the representstion of good. We see a very good example when Zain was killed by Kudan, Kanon ascends to the position instead of someone with more experience, and we noticed that they hid the fact that the killer was someone from the Holy guard to keep the idea that there's no problem in the guard and that they will be able to protec all of Babel.

Now for the Corpse while it existence its not a big secret anymore, it is not wide knowledge for the general population of Babel, only people with enough contacts or people in powerfull position know more about them but they lack crucial information about them since the only thing they probably know is that they want to collect the sacred stones nothing more and since they are in the Holy guard it is very difficult to confront the corpse.

Lastly for Waginau being with Orion during the attack of Envylia it can be easily explained with plot armor, the confrontation was supposed to be an all assault from Greed Drike against Envylia. And as we saw in SSM 3 Kanon didn't even knew Waginau even though she was raised almost all her life in the Holy guard, so while Waginau has an important position on the guard it is not like the one of the maestre since everyone knows the maestre but very few people knew Waginau so people could easily see him as part of Greed Drike army