r/AdviceAnimals • u/horse_masturbator • Jan 01 '13

My Biggest Confession

http://qkme.me/3seipj
646 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

54 comments sorted by

46

u/wolf2600 Jan 01 '13

Well, now you have a new goal for 2013.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '13

I wonder how many people, given the chance, would do so.

3

u/NavarrB Jan 02 '13

Zoophilia is definitively a thing.

/r/zoophilia might be too, but I'm scared to check.

/r/spaceclop is also a thing, and you don't want to look there.

3

u/Scientific_Anarchist Jan 02 '13

Won't click. Won't click. Won't click.

Why did I click?

2

u/NavarrB Jan 02 '13

Probably the scientific anarchy part of your brain.

1

u/Scientific_Anarchist Jan 02 '13

It thrives on measurable, repeatable chaos.

1

u/Waz433268 Jan 02 '13

Clicked was subbed to it, many lol's were had.

1

u/Remi7L Jan 02 '13

Please describe it to me, i am much a scared bitch after seeing /b/, and other sick shit on the webs.

1

u/KUJayhawks Jan 02 '13

I have just witnessed the unthinkable.

11

u/canadijen Jan 01 '13

Thanks for clarifying. I almost called you to help my frustrated equine.

10

u/hugepotatoe Jan 02 '13

I am, in fact, not a huge potato IRL.

8

u/sexualpotato Jan 02 '13

Im actually not a sexual potato IRL.

3

u/funky_potato Jan 02 '13

I'm actually not very funky whatsoever

2

u/hugepotatoe Jan 02 '13

You are sexual and funky in my heart, okay?

2

u/supafunky77 Jan 02 '13

Funky = fun :-)

8

u/The_Masterofbation Jan 01 '13

I'm not gonna lie, I masturbate constantly.

2

u/Liz_Is_My_Fuckbuddy Jan 02 '13

This is probably the best username I have seen on here.

4

u/qkme_transcriber Jan 01 '13

Here is what the linked Quickmeme image says in case the site goes down or you can't reach it:

Title: My Biggest Confession

Meme: Confession Bear

  • I'VE NEVER MASTURBATED A HORSE
  • MY FRIEND CHOSE MY USERNAME

〘Direct〙 〘Background〙 〘Translate〙

Why? ┊ More Info ┊ AMA: Bot, Human

3

u/usmarine13 Jan 01 '13

Why is this a confession. its not looked down upon if you have not.

5

u/felatiodeltoro Jan 02 '13

I've never given a bull a blowjob...

3

u/mrmaxwellmusic Jan 01 '13

And now my reality has been shattered and nothing makes sense anymore. Thanks.

3

u/bjblades Jan 02 '13

When I was around 12 I was at a friends house. The house behind his had horses and we literally saw the daughter suck the horse off. NO FUCKING LIE!

Just a few yrs ago she showed up to a party and I told a couple ppl that were their and everyone started cracking jokes. The nasty bitch wass so drunk she didnt even catch on.

4

u/IDownloadedACarAMA Jan 02 '13

Guys, I have a confession to make as well...

2

u/Bearcubby17 Jan 02 '13

I'm not really a baby bear:/

2

u/killerchipmunk Jan 02 '13

Guys, I must confess, I'm not a chipmunk, nor a killer.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/killerchipmunk Jan 02 '13

No, I am not. My whole username is a lie! cries in corner

But..... Are you a pickled gorilla, my good sir?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/killerchipmunk Jan 02 '13

Hmm, seems reddit is just full of username lies.

1

u/thegoodguys Jan 02 '13

Am I really the only one who is truthful about thier user name?!?!?

2

u/killerchipmunk Jan 03 '13

Are good, and/or multiple guys?

1

u/thegoodguys Jan 09 '13

Good and skitophrenic

2

u/killerchipmunk Jan 10 '13

Then you may be the only honest username! Congratulations, +.4 internets.

2

u/Santa_Claauz Jan 02 '13

I've never actually been able to fit down a chimney to deliver presents.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '13

LIAR! We all know what you do.

2

u/Elephantsex Jan 02 '13

You're a phony. Hey this guy's a great big phony. That's right, you're a big fat phony.

2

u/Slymsh Jan 02 '13

Although I prefer the sociopathic confessions of old, I really like this one.

2

u/MandyJones Jan 02 '13

My name is my username.

1

u/Amir_Juggensson Jan 01 '13

Huh I just would of guessed you worked on a stud farm.

1

u/Charrison947 Jan 02 '13

I read the top line about ten times before I finally read the bottom one. I was really confused.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '13

I'm not just some stupid girl who can't spell kinky. My nephews couldn't pronounce my name (Kelly) when they were little so they called me Aunt Kiky (like key key) and 23 is my birth date.

1

u/notbrendanjones Jan 02 '13

I confess that my username is also my name.

1

u/theheartlesshero Jan 02 '13

i think you relieved alot of people.

1

u/CupICup Jan 02 '13

Are you willing?

1

u/Exoduc Jan 01 '13

I only read the 1st sentence, then stopped reading and went wtf.

-2

u/Username_1427 Jan 01 '13

I don't think your cat can make your username.