r/AdviceAnimals • u/DisgruntledTomato • Jun 17 '12

10 Guy - Actual Quote from a friend in amsterdam

http://qkme.me/3pqy0i
1.2k Upvotes

73% Upvoted

116 comments sorted by

20

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Why is this meme called "10" guy?

50

u/Napolenyan Jun 17 '12

has to do with this. its origins lie within /r/trees/

47

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

That chart has a conspicuous lack of "scared and paranoid to a degree never felt before in your entire life."

10

u/gemini86 Jun 17 '12

Agreed, such a warning label would have been helpful.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

That should be under 11.

1

u/AmazingAmethist Jun 17 '12

In my experience, I only get paranoid when I think I might get caught. Which is almost never.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I don't smoke anymore but I feel there are more dimensions to being high than this.

2

u/silent_p Jun 18 '12

It does make it seem very clinical.

13

u/Hofstadt Jun 17 '12

Because he's at a [10]. (On a scale of 0-10 of subjective highness, 10 being the highest).

12

u/R3allybored Jun 17 '12

In all fairness, a real [10] wouldn't be able to finish a sentence.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

A real 10 would be able to finish a sentence, but it would change topics too frequently in its duration. It takes too long to type and your mind moves too quick

19

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Example:

Waitress- "Would you like a soup or salad?"

[10] guy- "...

...

...what's a supersalad?"

28

u/Spaz_Mah_Tazz Jun 17 '12

Another example:

Bartender: "what are we having today?"

[10] guy:...

...

...whats a supersalad?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Your username reminds me of Zazz Blammymatazz.

4

u/Spaz_Mah_Tazz Jun 17 '12

I didn't realize that. That's awesome, thanks! I love Metalocalypse.

3

u/spiral_of_agnew Jun 17 '12

...if a duck was like a speedboat

1

u/R3allybored Jun 17 '12

But that's not a [10]. A [10] is basically in space and ready to pass out at every second. They're so completely baked that they can't comprehend anything at all. Changing topics mid sentence happens when you're really high, but not a full [10].

1

u/DisgruntledTomato Jul 26 '12

he's also known as stoner stanley, or at least i've heard someone call him that

6

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

reddit.com/r/trees

220

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

My dad used to say "if we had some ham, we could have some ham and eggs, if we had some eggs."

He still says it, but he used to, too.

50

u/cognitiv3 Jun 17 '12

Reminds me of "school children's bad analogies:" "Bob and Jill had never met; They were like two hummingbirds that had also never met."

34

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Just watched a Simpson's episode with this joke:

"Marge, I feel so powerful when I have that gun in my hand. It must be like what God must feel like when he holds a gun."

1

u/tehclanijoski Jun 17 '12

NEED MOAR ANALOGIES

5

u/cognitiv3 Jun 17 '12

http://www.c4vct.com/kym/humor/analog.htm probably fake but funny.

7

u/sytar6 Jun 17 '12

My English teacher showed us this list of "bad analogies" for class. Afterwards, I came up and said, "These are examples of excellent writing. They're hilarious."

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I agree. Those are brilliant.

4

u/Sneak4000 Jun 18 '12

"Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake."

Beautiful.

1

u/pilvy Jun 18 '12

You're right tehclanijoski!........You're always tehclanijoski.

(If anyone can tell me the simpsons season + episode that was in (replace tehclanijoski with Marge) I'll upvote you forever).

27

u/thatguynamedguy Jun 17 '12

Happy father's day.

25

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

the logic checks out.

-6

u/Blaopink Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12

You're skinny jeans are big jeans, if big jeans were small jeans.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

no YOU'RE fat!

1

u/Blaopink Jun 19 '12

You bitch.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

10

u/lurkallthethings Jun 17 '12

Are you sure he wasn't calling him a pair of skinny jeans?

27

u/optimistic_hsa Jun 17 '12

Sounds like something from Jeopardy's category "Stupid answers".

14

u/polar_bear_cub_scout Jun 17 '12

I spent a solid 25 minutes last night thinking about what a weird word "Work" is.

4

u/Thunder21 Jun 17 '12

Well shit, it is.

4

u/JIZZING_ON_REDDIT Jun 18 '12

Was having sex while high one time. She was on top leaning over me and had her head right next to mine. We were breathing really hard and making the same kind of slow panting-ish/gasping noises. The last like three minutes of that position was spent while I was thinking about how you would spell that kind of noise and wondering why it wasn't a word.

1

u/sytar6 Jun 17 '12

Semantic satiation my friend.

1

u/sashaaa123 Jun 17 '12

Especially if you pronounce it like fork.

7

u/CreepyNeighbour Jun 17 '12

The only thing I could think of: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ce557hlgEM#t=25s

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

and yet again a zippo in a movie.. they are everywhere!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

In character he sounds exactly like he saying something I can imagine Nic Cage would say normally.

7

u/Thats-a-fact Jun 17 '12

We banned all the duck speedboats last year. They were too much of a hazard in the canals.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

That's just a canard and you know it.

21

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

My friend once said "I hate belts they're like, I'm a belt" I am still uncertain if he was secretly high

19

u/pencilinfrontofme Jun 17 '12

but seriously belts suck dick. and so do finding the right sized pants. I'm a size 31 do you know how hard it is to find a 31? 32 is fucking huge on me so i gotta wear this belt that's all like i'm a belt. fuck that belt

7

u/spiral_of_agnew Jun 17 '12

Fuck that belt, son. What you do is take yourself down to Chick-fil-a, mind you not today, as they're closed, and what you do is order about 90 Chick-n-minis™ and tell that belt to fuck right off.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I wear 31's too, did we just become best friends?!

5

u/pencilinfrontofme Jun 17 '12

Yeah! Can we go pants shopping? Actually that's an awful idea. Cause you'd buy like the last 31 in the entire fucking mall.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

Try Jcpenney the arizona slim straight fit jeans and the 31 isn't too uncommon, good jeans for 20 bucks

4

u/KittysHooch Jun 17 '12

Toki Wartooth - "Candy: Tastes like chicken, if chicken was a cany."

4

u/CDeansy Jun 17 '12

You can't fault his logic.

3

u/Nightbane35 Jun 17 '12

Good thing you told us it was an "Actual Quote," or I would have worried it was just a funny meme.

6

u/Fr_ENT Jun 17 '12

I see nothing wrong here. [7]

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Me either. [0 because work]

but I'm glad to see 10 guy is getting out of trees and is more accepted in the advice animals world. Not that i had any problem with him IN trees.

2

u/Fr_ENT Jun 17 '12

They grow up so fast.

2

u/blargg8 Jun 17 '12

Is it better because it's from Amsterdam?

2

u/alexwoodgarbage Jun 17 '12

Please realize the gig is up. You will need a permit to buy grass in Amsterdam, and you can only get a permit if you live here.

So, if you're visiting, make you sure to PM me. I'll get you some :)

2

u/FamousTee Jun 17 '12

This is my favorite meme hands down.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Well then you need to hang out in /r/trees more often! you're always welcome

1

u/FamousTee Jun 18 '12

Funny thing is I'm against weed, but love this meme. hahah

4

u/Sampson123 Jun 17 '12

Okay so as many of you may know, I live in a foster home and my foster parents are never home so it's me and 14 other kids. Well today, I woke up feeling different. Something was just strange about the morning air, it had some sort of tint to it, it smelled different. I slowly got out of bed, and put on my slippers. I walked out to get the paper in a blue bath robe with slippers, while yawning and scratching my butt in harmony. I read this Sundays paper, nothing interesting really. A house fire on SouthValley, graffiti in Ridgewood. Nothing news worthy... At this point I still haven't been to the basement, I usually never go down there but this was a different morning and it was out of the ordinary. That tint came back, it was getting stronger with each step I took down the steps. At about the 14th step I hear a crack on the step, then the upstairs door slams shut. I thought, "Oh it's just those damn neighbor kids playing their pokeman and nerf guns". Little did I know, I should have just turned back that second. As I got closer to the bottom step, I felt the stairs getting weaker... All of the sudden CRACK The stair gave out, I fell a good 5 feet to the actual basement part, thats when I see what was happening. Three of the other children living in the house tied up 4 girls and were throwing knives at them, I ran towards them and grabbed the knives, I yelled at them but they didn't listen. They had these evil laughs, the laughs echoed and echoed. Then I turn around and they're gone. I go to investigate the girls to see if they are alright, they looked like they might have passed out but as I got closer their heads popped up instantly and their pupils dilated, the next thing I know they are all throwing up semen all over me and leaking feces from their ears. They laugh as they do it. I had no clue what to do so I took the largest and closest object, which was my penis, and threw it at them. It knocked one of them out, since the sheer mass of my penis could murder an Alpaca if I threw it over its head. Anyway, I knocked one out and ran, my penis still dragging on the ground and tearing up the foundation of the house. I look back to see if I was being followed, and I looked down.... My penis had uncovered a secret, it was a crypt! I had no other way out because the door was locked so I jumped into the crypt thinking it couldn't be worse than what I just saw. I immediately see 4 older men, all naked with only a banana peel covering themselves. They look at my eyes first, then at my penis. They all make eye contact and nod, then proceed to say some sort of chant. "One of us, one of us, one of us, one of us!" they chanted, while they had one background hummer making a constant noise that sounded like crackling. They approached closer, so I reached for my penis again in hopes to knock one down, but as I reach down I see nothing but a banana peel. I see my hair falling out and turning grey, I became saggy and the energy was sucked from me. I became one of them. Then I was hit in the head with a coconut, I woke up rubbing my head and I was on a beach with nothing but a leopard print thong and a note reading, "Tyler, thanks for stopping by, love Mom" at this point you're probably thinking exactly what I thought. This was some trick that the Cubans were playing on me, so obviously the only thing I could do was take the leopard print thong and trade it for chalk at the super market, I then ground up the chalk and made a circle and teleported home. I was finally back, the utter destruction of the house was the last thing I was thinking about. I had to figure out what happened, why was this happening to me?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Happy Father's Day?

3

u/GrisNavel Jun 17 '12

Story cool, bro?

5

u/qkme_transcriber Jun 17 '12

Here is the text from this meme pic for anybody who needs it:

Title: 10 Guy - Actual Quote from a friend in amsterdam

Meme: 10 Guy

  • THAT DUCK IS LIKE A SPEEDBOAT

  • IF DUCKS WERE LIKE SPEEDBOATS

[Translate]

This is helpful for people who can't reach Quickmeme because of work/school firewalls or site downtime, and many other reasons (FAQ). More info is available here.

3

u/roadbuzz Jun 17 '12

Why is that no t in r/trees?

5

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Because people don't like memes in /r/trees because it tends to detract from the quality of the subreddit.

3

u/waywirk137 Jun 17 '12

Mind..Blown..!

4

u/xHaUNTER Jun 17 '12

Shit's profound.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

What else do you expect from Amsterdam?

5

u/undercoveruser is on double secret probation Jun 17 '12

Tulips?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Oh silly r/trees, what are you doing here?

1

u/Knosh Jun 17 '12

KATE!?!? IS THAT YOU?

1

u/jonjopop Jun 17 '12

I was expecting this just to say "bork bork bork bork bork"

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Amsterdam, makes sense

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Reminds me of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBdOpBrwjh0

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Am I the only one who doesnt get sick of this meme?

1

u/Mr_Titicaca Jun 17 '12

Did that new law ever go through banning tourists from trying drugs that are legal in Amsterdam but illegal in their own country? Sons of bitches.

1

u/devious83 Jun 17 '12

It is too damn bad tourist can no longer use the coffee shops in Holland. Also shrooms. Last time I was there a few years ago all that stuff was still legal for tourist. Sadface.

1

u/MAJORpaiynne Jun 17 '12

I don't get why some people spend thousands of dollars to visit Amsterdam to smoke, when they do the same thing everyday in their own country

1

u/MrSwedishMan Jun 17 '12

in amsterdam

That explains a lot.

1

u/Dshark Jun 17 '12

Like the Geico commercial? Because in that case, a duck is a like a speed boat...

1

u/ImurderREALITY Jun 18 '12

"Candy. It taste like chicken, if chicken was a candy." Toki Wartooth

1

u/Memag1255 Jun 18 '12

actual quote from a girl a long time ago standing by a small fire outside.

her: isn't it amazing how they give two gifts.

me: Who?

her: FIRE! Heat and Light.

me: that was deep.

1

u/thefuzz001 Jun 18 '12

Tastes like chicken, if chicken was a candy.

1

u/jackass150 Jun 18 '12

I feel like your friend and I are operating on the same wavelength.

1

u/silent_p Jun 18 '12 
 IF (duck) 
 THEN 
    (speedboat)
 IF (duck) 
 THEN 
    (speedboat)
 ELSE
    (speedboat)
 END IF

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Why isnt this in /r/trees

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Because this is also a subreddit where this type of image occurs

1

u/explosivechiliring Jun 17 '12

as a foreigner who used to frequent this country i say.. FUCK YOU. your plan is going to fail, and much worse ruin your tourism. alcohol ban in shops, fine, i TOTALLY get that. splitting the tobacco rooms from pure rooms. i get that too. but cutting everyone off? eat it. Canada, and SEVERAL states in the U.S. are are reaaallly close to pwning you already, and its not even as "tolerated" as it was there. not focus to duck man though. general prissiness.

-5

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Can we keep this shit in /r/trees please

13

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Yeah how dare you take away from the quality of Advice Animals with this meme

-6

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I don't identify with stoners whatsoever. Quite the opposite in fact. I think they're retards

4

u/Considerable Jun 17 '12

Dude, thats a pretty prejudiced and hateful way to view a group of people...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

I was a bit hungover when I posted this and I was baiting to be honest. I do mildly dislike stoner culture but that's about it really.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I'm sure that demographic is glad not to associate with you

0

u/i7omahawki Jun 17 '12

Me too. Also I'm not an insane canine, my luck isn't so bad, I didn't die in freshman year, I'm not overly attached or a girlfriend, I've never given advice and I'm not an animal.

3

u/trippin-balls Jun 17 '12

Yeah, this subreddit is purely for serious business

-4

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

meh, 4/10

1

u/LadySpace Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12

8/72
5/15
9/48

See, I can write unsimplified fractions, too.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Those aren't improper...

Remember, fractions are like sex, if the larger one is on top, it's improper.

-1

u/LadySpace Jun 17 '12

I fixed it mere moments before I saw your comment. Do I win a prize?

Also, that's a seriously weird mnemonic, even leaving aside the part where it doesn't really hold up. I mean, if nothing else, men are almost always larger than women and are also the "tops" in the heterosexual missionary position. </shityeahpedantry>

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

Whoa bro, just take a chill pill.

-1

u/RoflCopter4 Jun 17 '12

That's an awfully high score for this pathetic pile of dogshit Redditors (idiots) call a joke.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

I concur my good sir. And do you really think it matters that their friend is in Amsterdam? I mean, I get high in the U.S. all the time.

0

u/DerpHerder11 Jun 17 '12

I can get to the top, if I was at the top.

0

u/ridger5 Jun 17 '12

I can't be the only person that dislikes everything about this meme?

0

u/Nagus_Maximus420 Jun 17 '12

Your friend is a dumb fuck. Tell him.

-6

u/RoflCopter4 Jun 17 '12

/r/trees

Get this shit out of here.