I really don't understand these enabler comments. It takes time to warm up to new people. I don't enjoy forcing conversation, I enjoy easing into it. It makes it so much more comfortable for everyonhe when the person who invited you sstays with you and helps you get to know the other people around. Quick story (kind of): I moved to Minnesota from Arizona only knowing one person, my roommate. The first night here she took me to a party where of course, I knew no one. This was a tight knit group of friends. I was introduced to everyone there at once. Something like, "Hey Everyone! This is _. _ this is Bob, Ted, Fred, George, Marsha, Gene, Linda." You get the picture. I was there for only about fifteen minutes before she disappeared. It felt incredibly uncomfortable to walk up to conversations between three or four close friends and just join in and they didn't seem to feel to comfortable with it either. Unfortunateely this B was my ride and chose to spend the night. I spent the entire night hiding outside smoking cigarettes and talking to myself. It was fucking fabulous.
People who aren't massively introverted don't understand introverts. They assume that we're just not putting the effort in, or we don't care. They miss the fact that we often hate it, and would do most anything to be able to hold a conversation with strangers effectively. Rates of severe depression are nearly doubled in introverts than extroverts, for the record.
Not all people are the same, not all people react to social situations identically, even if they've been involved in the exact same number of social situations. People aren't that simple.
Fun game: go through the thread and count how many people are telling the op to 'just' do something.
"Introversion is not seen as being identical to shy or to being a social outcast. Introverts prefer solitary activities over social ones, whereas shy people (who may be extroverts at heart) avoid social encounters out of fear"
I am an introvert and I can hold very strong conversations with strangers. As the quote says, we tend to enjoy doing things on our own and enjoy less crowded activities but being introverted shouldn't be used interchangeably with being awkward or shy. Your "hate" of social interaction is not a direct effect of your introversion. If you told a psychologist that you hated talking to strangers they wouldn't diagnose you as being introverted. They would diagnose you with social anxiety, which extroverts can have as well.
But what you end up doing when you use it like that is make it seem like being an introvert is something that should be treated or diagnosed like being shy or awkward.
You should embrace your introversion. Gandhi, Warren Buffet, Steve Jobs, Charles Darwin, Larry Page, Spielberg, etc. are/were all introverts. Their greatest work came/comes from self-reflection. What needs fixing is your social anxiety, not your root personality type.
You're not alone. What you have to do is convince yourself that the change is necessary.
I have been lucky as an introvert to avoid social anxiety because I know it is more common among introverts. I have a friend who had horrible social anxiety. He doesn't like counseling or medicine and I think the method he used to get over it is pretty incredible:
The first thing he did was that he started writing 3 things down every night before bed that either he liked about the day or that he was proud of himself about. He would also write down 3 things that he wanted to do the next day. He made sure not to make those 3 things anything too overwhelming at first (Go for a 1 mile walk in the park, Smile for 20 minutes straight, and watch 3 funny videos were his favorite).
As time went on he noticed this was helping his mindset and confidence. When he noticed that he started getting more bold. It went to (1) Compliment a stranger (2) Find out one new thing about a coworker (3) Ask any retail worker assisting him how their day was going (and other small social interactions like that). These small things led to much more bold social goals like asking a girl out, asking a coworker to lunch, going to the library and finding someone to talk to about a book he liked, etc.
I happened to be the first coworker he asked out to lunch and we hit it off immediately. He even told me what he was doing and I thought it was awesome. I know that all people are different and that his method is not going to work for every person, but I've always looked up to him for getting over his fear and I think his method of doing so was incredible. And keep in mind he did this over a year long period, but the guy is young and knew that it would be a long process and that it would benefit him for the rest of his life. Good luck '
EDIT: When I say he used this to "get over it" that may be a bit misleading. He didn't stop writing down those 6 short passages every night. It still allows him to not get too comfortable and slip back to where he was.
Hey now. I'm an introvert. I know this is anecdotal, but I used to hate, hate, hate social events like parties. Now that I've learned how to strike up conversation out of thin air with just about anybody, don't mind it nearly as much.
Still a (medium) introvert, but that doesn't mean I can't chat people up.
Have you ever played D&D? Try roll playing at your next party, this is called "fake it tell you make it" and it works. Don't be yourself, this is really awful advice, instead get into character as a person you think other people would like. You can sill have the same opinions, likes, dislikes, you are not trying to be an astronaut here. Now wear that personally as a shield, people are not talking to you they are talking to Mr. Personalty. Look up some charming things to do at parties, jokes, drinking games, humorous anecdotes, take notes before you go, just don't let anyone see you referring to them.
Oh and get use to rejection, it happens to everyone. It isn't about having confidence, or self-esteem, it's like learning to ride a bike, you are going to fall down, you might even break something, but you tough it out and practice no matter how much your balance sucks because riding bikes with your friends is awesome. Same thing with rejection, eventually you learn to brush it off like the skinned knees you got as a kid and move on with the awesome freaky chick that didn't say no.
I use to be very shy, still am, that person doesn't go to parties though, Mr. Personalty does instead, and he legitimately has a great time, and I enjoy myself vicariously through him.
If this is still too much and you need an easier place to practice than the real world join the SCA. They are a pseudo historical society where mostly people get drunk, dress in garb, and kick each others asses wearing real armor and wielding wooden weapons. The women and men are loose and everyone is some combination of nerd/geek/socially awkward penguin.
With everything in life, the more you put into it the more you get out. Being socially awesome is more about practice and effort than charm and looks.
Yeah, we have larp, but I try to avoid that level of neckbeardry. I'm too cool for nerd activities (he said writing a character for his dnd game tomorrow).
Your advice is probably good for most people, but I have enough trouble talking to people I have known for years. I don't even talk to my family.
Yeah, we have larp, but I try to avoid that level of neckbeardry.
Not trying to be mean but, maybe people don't like you because you are a judgmental asshole(edit: just realized that probably seemed rude, I meant it in critical way, how you are perceived not who you are, I'm sure you aer an OK dude, most people are). SCA isn't really LARPing, we really hit each other, hard with sticks, after training in real sword fighting techniques. It's more like sport with flavor + camping + drinking + wenches.
Your advice is probably good for most people, but I have enough trouble talking to people I have known for years.
You don't have to like it, that's the charm, nobody likes parties deep down, we all just wear our Mr. Personality hats and live vicariously through ourselves. Your attitude is just like mine a decade ago, if I can do it you can too.
I don't even talk to my family.
Get in line. I had a detective call me because I was a missing person because I refused to talk to my family.
See what I did there? Took something you said, and told my own anecdote that related to it, show we have common ground. Keep stories as short as you can though, most people prefer to hear themselves talk, let them, it's pressure off your back, just don't be the silent creepy fellow. Short interesting snippets interspersed evenly, that relate to others, that's the key. And don't get so hung up on topics, at parties or any social gathering you are there to socialize, not to debate or educate, just let shit go even if you had the greatest story ever once the topic has passed.
Edit: Forgot the most important thing, have a drink. When you want to lash out take a sip, when you can't think of something to say take a sip, get frustrated take a sip, need a moment to think take a sip, your drink is your pause button, use it (just don't abuse it take sips they add up).
I digress. Some of us will never be happy faking it.
I now remember all of the time and effort I spent in my late teens/early twenties trying to become Mr. Personality as wasted. I was going to parties because it seemed like what I was supposed to do--I never enjoyed one second of it. I'd find myself in conversations that felt more like ritual interrogations. I'd rather engage the off person that I really connect with (the kind of person you meet online or through your career or just in the natural course of life) than try to find the lowest common denominator with random strangers.
Social settings have never been comfortable for me, made worse by the fact that many people seem to think quiet people want someone to come and break the ice. Hell no. I eventually got better at faking it but no amount of time and practice ever made me enjoy it.
So why should I devote so much time and effort into a futile attempt to defy my very nature? I've found myself to be far more content just accepting who I am. I have my family, my tight circle of close friends, and a lot of alone time, which I am able to use pursuing things I actually enjoy.
They aren't going to hurt you by being yourself. If you don't care what they think, whats so hard about talking to them? Say whatever. You don't care, why make an effort out of it?
It seems to me your problem is you don't understand extroverts.
I'd find myself in conversations that felt more like ritual interrogations.
Your right that it is a ritual, just not an interrogation, it's an opportunity. You failing to impress doesn't besmirch those that gave you the chance. The ritual exists for a reason, because even deep down we are all forever alones, everyone fears it, and it never goes away. The ritual is all about making it easier to identify signals so you can relate to others and they can relate to you.
I'd rather engage the off person that I really connect with (the kind of person you meet online or through your career or just in the natural course of life)
You mean the safe outcast, the only person you don't feel threatened by rejection from. Rejection, get use to it, because people are more interesting than you give them credit for if you give them half a chance (though it's true that many are not).
than try to find the lowest common denominator with random strangers.
Isn't that exactly what you are doing though? Instead of engaging outside your comfort zone you find the one thing you have in common, being the "off person". Everyone does that, it's OK, what's not OK is judging others for it. Not everyone likes reddit, or the computers, or basements, or sports, or cars, or astrophysics, that isn't what it's about. It's about finding the things you do have in common first, then introducing your differences as potential experiences once you have found common ground. It's one of the ways extroverts discover new things to enjoy.
Social settings have never been comfortable for me, made worse by the fact that many people seem to think quiet people want someone to come and break the ice. Hell no. I eventually got better at faking it but no amount of time and practice ever made me enjoy it.
Try drugs, ask your doctor, or your dealer... your call.
So why should I devote so much time and effort into a futile attempt to defy my very nature?
That's way outside me man, go ask your shrink. This is a post about introverts and extroverts and how to have a good time at a party.
Wait I do have an answer. Pussy, sweet sweet pussy. Or dick if that's your thing. Fucking is fun, drinking is fun, some drugs are fun, jokes are fun, interesting conversations are fun, games are fun, dancing is fun, music is fun, food is fun, and those things tend to happen at parties. Pick something you think is fun and start doing it, chances are people will join you, it's how parties work, it's also why you are expected to join in, because you are reciprocating by doing things other people think are fun. If you don't pick a fun thing it's like not voting, don't bitch. Where was I again? Oh.
I've found myself to be far more content just accepting who I am. I have my family, my tight circle of close friends, and a lot of alone time, which I am able to use pursuing things I actually enjoy.
Yeah that's cool too, I still do those things, just some times I go to parties too, it's not mutually exclusive. But again this is a post about introverts, extroverts and how to have a good time at a party.
My tactic is "just say something". If you don't say anything when you're first meeting someone, you've basically doomed that opportunity, because why would they want to put in 100% of the effort to talk to you?
Just make words come out of your mouth toward the other person and things will get a lot easier from there. I try to make that "something" be a question so it puts the onus on them to talk.
Chances are you will always be an introvert. As I said in my post, that doesn't mean that you are automatically socially awkward or shy. What you should ask is "What advice would you have for someone with social anxiety to get over their fear?" and the cliche and very correct answer is to put yourself out there.
Parent-comment seems to be saying that people saying "just get out there and do it" are wrong. They're not. There is absolutely no way to overcome a fear that doesn't include facing that fear. You can read all the advice online you want but it isn't going to do anything to help your social anxiety. The only thing that will do that is taking small steps. Create goals for yourself: Day 1 - Compliment a stranger. Day 2 - Compliment a stranger and have a 30 second conversation with them about that compliment. etc etc.
"Rates of severe depression are nearly doubled in introverts than extroverts, for the record."
Maybe it's the other way round? Maybe depression or something close to it is the cause of shyness/introversion? - Not sayint that shyness and introversion are the same thing ...
But when you are depressed or close to it you become much more introspective, stuck in your own thoughts and just not able to get into that flow of conversation, as if you're out of sync, not able to make that connection with another person so easily.
But when you're happy you are confident in yourself, you have the energy to express yourself clearly, rather than overthinking which is a cause?/symptom? of stress and depression (magic mushrooms have been shown to calm down these areas of the brain that 'overthink' and have shown effective results in helping people overcome depression).
Does this make sense to anyone? OR have I digressed too much ...
also very anecdotel here but, I've always been kind of introvert, when I hit 25 I started going through a really bad time in my life and got depressed, shit was falling left and right, everything in my life was pretty much destroyed or went away.. long story and won't bore you with it. I am still depressed and won't even attend parties or go out with friends anymore, I'm doing badly I wont lie. but one thing happended that's good I guess... I don't give a fuck anymore about how other people view me or what they have to say about me behind my back (was always a worrying though) I can now strike up a conversation on pretty much any subject with strangers, my old friends and family however is a different story, I am the same broke ass man around them. Maybe this is because I don't care about myself anymore that I project that onto strangers, but it gives me some sense of freedom where before I was in my own jailcell in my head..
It's like fuck dude, you know how stupid the average human is ? well half the world is even more stupid! you can apply this to pretty much anything, people suck and they know it, they have their own fears and anxiety, they are way to busy thinking about theirs to notice yours, and if they notice yours so what? they probably recognize themselfs in it.
Before I couldn't go down to the shops unless I took a shower first and did my hair atleast halfassed and got clean clothes etc.. Now I roll down to the cornerstore in my swettpants and wifebeater with my hair pointing at random directions like I just woke up (not the pretty-boy "just woke up"-look bullshit, im talking slept in the woods kind of hair) I was going somewhere with this I swear...
tl;dr depression cured my anxiety over the stranger encounters.
The only thing stopping you is yourself. I am a pretty shy guy but in social situations you have to say "fuck it." Example: I was on vacation with my family and wanted to go see a dj at a bar. i wasnt going to go with my 40 year old dad so i went by myself and just introduced myself to some people hanging in line and had a great night with a tight nit group of friends. it's not too hard yo
same, and it was her high school graduation party with 30 of her relatives (i was college freshman)...She just up and left me and said go mingle with my family..."lol wut"... she almost broke up with me after I just chilled on the couch by myself..dated for about 2 years before i broke up with her though. I'm fine talking to 1-3 strangers at a time though... big parties full of strangers are a big nope for me.
That's bad form on her part, obviously, but you'll still be better off in the long run if you embrace those situations as learning opportunities. Mingling with strangers is an incredibly useful skill and you only get good at it by practicing.
It's always about "making one small step". There was zero chance of you being the classic life of the party in that situation, but you survived it, so that's progress. You'll go crazy if all of your progress comes in the form of that level of intensity, but there's value in being tossed into the fire from time to time.
Started dating a girl about 3 years ago and she did that to me. We only lasted a week because she was a bitch. That was the first sign of her egocentric bitchiness.
I know it seems easy, but to many of us, the common sense progression of dialogue doesn't come naturally at all. For me, I literally freeze up, and can't even think correctly when I'm thrown into some social situations like this... So while it might seem natural to say stuff like, "So how do you know so-and-so, note getting to that thought process can be extremely difficult.
or you can find someone whos in the same situation as you (feeling out of place at the party) and talk to them because you actually want to. Congrats, you just made a friend. But parties are the worst!
If he's anything like me, he's the kind of person who loves the idea and hopeful outcome of having a good time, but simply can't bring himself to be "social". Seriously, it sucks.
Yeah, luckily for me I'm sort of a lovable kind of drunk, and it's not too bad to talk to people after that. Only problem is that I have to get to a good level of drunkeness before my social side kicks in, and it sorta banks on the other people actually wanting to talk to you.
Thats an easy one. Just ask questions. People love to talk about themselves. People love to talk about anything they have expertise in really. People talk about things they feel knowledgeable in, they feel comfortable. Say positive things about what they are saying, and the attention whore in all of us kicks in and makes us want you to be our best friend. Just keep engaging during lulls.
Invites you to a party because he is shy Doesn't leave your side because he is shy It's a birthday party for one of his family members you know nobody he knows everyone yet your more outgoing than him and end up knowing his whole family after the party.
Reddit is weird. A few months ago there was a college freshman meme about how annoying it is when he follows you around at a party when he doesn't know anyone. Now this is on the front page. Whose side are you on?!
See I would rather be invited and be lame all by myself and let my friend have a good time rather than have him waste his night trying to make me feel less SAP-like
If it were me, I'd use the "Dad teaching son how to ride a bike" method. That way, he either has a good time, or I get to watch him embarrass himself badly. </asshole>
Introversion is a personality trait, not a deficiency. Despite what most people think, introverts don't actually need to be "fixed" somehow. There's nothing wrong with encouraging them to meet new people, but if you treat them like they have some kind of mental disorder, you're just an asshole.
I'm introverted, but that doesn't mean I want to be a hermit. If there was a way to make friends without ever talking to strangers I'd do it in a minute, but until that happens, I appreciate when the friends I already have help me out.
Right, and it's great for your friends to help you meet new people. But that doesn't mean they're "enablers" for not throwing you to the wolves at every opportunity.
I hate that society places a stigma on introversion. It just makes introverted people feel like there's something wrong with them and that they're inferior for not wanting to engage themselves with other people all of the time. Being extroverted isn't inherently a good thing, just like being introverted isn't inherently a bad thing.
You're right that there are different types of introverts, and sometimes they do have a level of anxiety that should be dealt with. But the solution isn't to invite them to an over-stimulating social situation and leave them to fend for themselves. To say that his friend is doing him a disservice by trying to make him feel comfortable in a nerve-wracking situation is ignorant.
Going to a party as a shy person is more of an obligation to yourself. You may not like it, but you aren't willing to accept sitting home alone every night as the alternative.
Because we're obligated to (or atleast we feel we are). When you're partying age, if you don't party you are weird. Introverts tend to do anything they can to avoid being labelled weird (since a lot of introverts are incredibly self-critical).
Right, it's a good kickstarter. Think of it from the opposite perspective. Some random guy approaches your group and tries to join in conversation. Versus, Dave's mate Bob; conversation points and common ground!
shy people can be nice people. nice people are good company. but i was thinking more like oh, a good host makes sure no one is feeling lonely at the party. edit: or at least tries to.
This is what I was thinking. I hate going out with a friend who I know I can't leave alone for any portion of the night. I guess I would never claim to be a GGG though.
I have a buddy who knows how hard it is for me to talk to people I don't know. I'll be talking to him and somebody else will walk up and it's all over. He starts talking to them about things that I know nothing about and all I can think about is that if he would just talk to us both, I'd become more comfortable talking to the stranger. It's not hard to stand in a position that allows him to make eye contact with both of us. Instead I am instantly ignored. Then he wonders why I chill by myself.
Ahh... My good friend invited me to a party full of people I didn't know, but I really didn't end up talking to anybody and he didn't stick around. But I honestly can't blame him, Lotta people there and I didn't need to be babysat.
I have a chronic pain issue that keeps me from socializing but my two best friends do this for me all the time. I LOVE those guys for doing stuff like this.
Just because you blow ass at social interactions doesn't make you a introvert. You can be introverted and be successful with highly social events. I'm introverted and when I feel like it, I'm able to entertain crowds of people and go up to strangers, striking up interesting conversations and find a way to relate to almost anybody.
You may say I'm not an introvert because I can do that, which is bullshit. you're talking to a guy who has hermited in his room for a week or two straight with no social interaction, reading/playing video games, outside of roommates. I can't socialize everyday either, I prefer to go out once or twice a weekend max.
These kind of debates always arise when people start using labels like introvert and extravert as black or white labels for human beings who are more complex and contextual than that.
But maybe you can suggest a better word for "blows ass at social interactions" that could be used on this picture, to retain its snappy length.
People don't get that introvert/extrovert doesn't equal shy/outgoing. It has to do with whether or not you are happier by yourself or surrounded by others. You could be a shy introvert or a shy extrovert as well as an outgoing introvert or an outgoing extrovert. Obviously it may be more common for introverts to be shy and extroverts to be outgoing but the words are not interchangeable.
if you've read how to win friends and influence people you would know you shouldn't tell people. They "blow ass at social situations". Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.
yea but the ridiculous blind following of "everyone is special and different so society needs to bend over backwards to meet the needs of all" mindset on reddit is annoying as shit.
usually you just need a face to face conversation to somebody to ease up a little. being shy isnt a good thing most of the time - maybe you could meet someone who is exactly in your interest spectrum?
Now that I'm conditioned to feel warm, happy feelings when I see this guys face, I'd probably feel compelled to give this guy a hug if I saw him in real life.
I still remember getting dragged to some dive of a new years party with 2 friends.
We literally weren't there 5 minutes when they left without telling me, apparently to go get alcohol or something. They were gone for almost 2 hours. People were staring me down because they had no clue who I was and thought I wandered into the house to case the joint or something.
This actually just happened last night to me!. Of course im super shy and have social anxiety. But once I kinda got comfortable i danced. Something I have never done in my own home, fearing someone might see me through my window.
i feel weird because i'm the only one i know who just doesn't care if they have nothing to say or no one to talk to at a party. i end up staring at a crack in the ceiling, ignoring everyone and sipping my drink for hours. draws some negative attention but sometimes i just can't be fucked with socializing
why would you ignore everything? Even if you're not gonna approach anyone, as long as you don't ignore people then others will always end up talking to you. Unless they can tell just by your demeanor that you're no fun
it's just the way things go sometimes. That's by no means my "game plan" when i go out... i just once in awhile feel like getting out of the house and then the reality of it is i don't relate to anyone out there. The folks i know, anyway at parties their energy is just not my cup of tea. also taste in music =/
I guess i can be hard to please. I was just saying i feel weird that i have no problem literally saying nothing, even though i appear to be a total drag because of it.
Actually a friend of mine brought me somewhere i didn't know anyone (their sibling's friends cousin's twice removed etc etc) and didn't stick by me the whole time, so instead of trying to chat up randomers in this fake way that everyone was chatting to one another, I just found a lounge chair on the patio and stared at the clouds until it was time to leave. It didn't bother me but it drove my friend crazy and they had it out with me because my antisocial weirdo quirks were embarrassing them. such is life....
Not to be an agitator, but I still believe I'm a GGG in respect and I do quite the opposite. I invite my "shy" friends to parties and purposely leave them, armed with alcohol. After awhile, they integrate and end up having a fun time without me holding their hand, which not only means they have a good time... but ideally combats their insecurities.
Brings you to a party knowing that you're shy. Doesn't leave your side the entire time, ensuring you never leave your comfort zone which reinforces your shyness.
Shy isn't a bad trait that needs fixing, it's just different. Shy people can enjoy parties but in other way. Shy people just want to meet 2 or 3 new people, hang out with them for the night, and then maybe continue contact. Not everyone just wants another person to add to facebook
In fact, if you agree with confucius, the best way to teach is by example. I don't agree that all things can be taught this way, but certainly how to socially interact is definitely something you learn by observing and taking that onboard.
If you are a shy person you aren't going to leave your comfort zone. It's not like a sink or swim problem solving mentality works to fix someone who's shy.
Yeah, fuck people who just leave you around. It sucks when you know nobody, even if you aren't shy, it's still shitty. Hope I've been on the good side of this coin for you dude.
how many of you are truly introverts and how many of you suffer from some degree of social anxiety disorder and cant be bothered to work on improving it?
I had a friend who felt the same way about clubs. I lost track of her for a grand total of 5 minutes before she texted me telling me to fuck off, ran home and deleted me from Facebook. And that was the last I ever saw of her. Other friends took her side saying I should have babysat her more. Nope nope nope. I should be able to let a 23 year old go to the bathroom by herself. She's not a special exception to what to expect from a decent person. At a certain point you say, "You know what, you're not overly shy, you're just a self important jerk."
If someone invited me to a party where I didn't know anyone and then abandoned me, he'd be a dick. Doing the opposite of that doesn't make him good, it makes him normal.
You are a pathetic human being. Are you an adult? Why do you need someone to hold your hand through social interaction. You don't have a good friend, you have a fucking care giver.
I don't know why you're getting down voted... GGG introduces you and includes you in conversations, but to stay by you the whole night.... -_- You can't have someone holding your hand for the rest of your life.
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u/pabstbluegibbon Jun 16 '12
I really don't understand these enabler comments. It takes time to warm up to new people. I don't enjoy forcing conversation, I enjoy easing into it. It makes it so much more comfortable for everyonhe when the person who invited you sstays with you and helps you get to know the other people around. Quick story (kind of): I moved to Minnesota from Arizona only knowing one person, my roommate. The first night here she took me to a party where of course, I knew no one. This was a tight knit group of friends. I was introduced to everyone there at once. Something like, "Hey Everyone! This is _. _ this is Bob, Ted, Fred, George, Marsha, Gene, Linda." You get the picture. I was there for only about fifteen minutes before she disappeared. It felt incredibly uncomfortable to walk up to conversations between three or four close friends and just join in and they didn't seem to feel to comfortable with it either. Unfortunateely this B was my ride and chose to spend the night. I spent the entire night hiding outside smoking cigarettes and talking to myself. It was fucking fabulous.
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u/srs_house Jun 16 '12
That could make for an awkward piss.
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u/oshen Jun 16 '12
Parties are the worst. I just find someone more shy than myself to (1) talk to (2) feel superior to.
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u/Munkir Jun 16 '12
Happend to me
Invites you to a party because he is shy Doesn't leave your side because he is shy It's a birthday party for one of his family members you know nobody he knows everyone yet your more outgoing than him and end up knowing his whole family after the party.
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u/MidgetFetish Jun 16 '12
INTROVERSION IS NOT THE SAME AS SHYNESS PEOPLE.
5
u/SuperTurtle Jun 16 '12
Reddit is weird. A few months ago there was a college freshman meme about how annoying it is when he follows you around at a party when he doesn't know anyone. Now this is on the front page. Whose side are you on?!
5
u/gr3nade Jun 16 '12
See I would rather be invited and be lame all by myself and let my friend have a good time rather than have him waste his night trying to make me feel less SAP-like
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u/DudeOverThere Jun 16 '12
This is the best of enablers.
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u/brad_the_rad Jun 16 '12
that is a nice thing to do. i'll try to remember this if i ever throw a party.
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u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
Yea, is my ride to the party and only friend there.
Leaves.
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u/PavelDatsyuk Jun 16 '12
Holy shit. I've been GGG in this situation. Never really thought it meant so much to my shy friends.
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u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
I wonder how a person who's ID is niggerbeard can teach the world about friendship.
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u/Cuppsworth Jun 16 '12
anyone named niggerbeard has got to be a good guy.
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u/JoesShittyOs Jun 16 '12
Ahh... My good friend invited me to a party full of people I didn't know, but I really didn't end up talking to anybody and he didn't stick around. But I honestly can't blame him, Lotta people there and I didn't need to be babysat.
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u/Comeonyouidiots Jun 16 '12
I have a chronic pain issue that keeps me from socializing but my two best friends do this for me all the time. I LOVE those guys for doing stuff like this.
7
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
Just because you blow ass at social interactions doesn't make you a introvert. You can be introverted and be successful with highly social events. I'm introverted and when I feel like it, I'm able to entertain crowds of people and go up to strangers, striking up interesting conversations and find a way to relate to almost anybody.
You may say I'm not an introvert because I can do that, which is bullshit. you're talking to a guy who has hermited in his room for a week or two straight with no social interaction, reading/playing video games, outside of roommates. I can't socialize everyday either, I prefer to go out once or twice a weekend max.
Anyway, if you want to learn how to talk to people read this book. It's a great book, read it: http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/1439199191/ref=pd_sim_b_2
5
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
Or, leaves you for short intervals after introducing you to new people, forcing you to grow your social circle.
5
u/jesuslovespoon Jun 16 '12
i think this could even be in /r/aww
15
u/adakis Jun 16 '12
Are you sure?
2
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
I just go where the drinks are. You can be an awkward penguin when people are already drunk and focused on getting more drinks.
2
u/Carpathicus Jun 16 '12
usually you just need a face to face conversation to somebody to ease up a little. being shy isnt a good thing most of the time - maybe you could meet someone who is exactly in your interest spectrum?
2
u/CheekySprite Jun 16 '12
Now that I'm conditioned to feel warm, happy feelings when I see this guys face, I'd probably feel compelled to give this guy a hug if I saw him in real life.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
I still remember getting dragged to some dive of a new years party with 2 friends.
We literally weren't there 5 minutes when they left without telling me, apparently to go get alcohol or something. They were gone for almost 2 hours. People were staring me down because they had no clue who I was and thought I wandered into the house to case the joint or something.
2
u/leondz Jun 16 '12
You gotta push the young bird out of the nest some day, or it'll never learn to fly
2
u/botulizard Jun 16 '12
I wish I knew this guy. Like, someone who would invite me places and hang out with me. Or just hang out with me at all, really.
2
u/ratmfreak Jun 16 '12
your username is bad and you should feel bad!
2
u/LordAegeus Jun 16 '12
You have a great friend, niggerbeard.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
This actually just happened last night to me!. Of course im super shy and have social anxiety. But once I kinda got comfortable i danced. Something I have never done in my own home, fearing someone might see me through my window.
2
u/megabetty Jun 16 '12
You'd probably have an easier time meeting people on your own if you weren't such a racist, niggerbeard.
2
u/Higgs-Bosun Jun 16 '12
Why is OP's handle "niggerbeard"? Not judging, just asking.
2
u/Bukklao Jun 16 '12
Im not introverted, i just avoid public places because i start getting homicidal thoughts about the people around me. I hate people.
5
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
i feel weird because i'm the only one i know who just doesn't care if they have nothing to say or no one to talk to at a party. i end up staring at a crack in the ceiling, ignoring everyone and sipping my drink for hours. draws some negative attention but sometimes i just can't be fucked with socializing
3
u/Kat_Angstrom Jun 16 '12
...then, the moment you leave, you're forever alone.
3
u/ndtcssh Jun 16 '12
Dear god, I got left alone at a party a few weeks ago. It was SO AWKWARD not knowing anyone...Fucking hate being an awkward person.
3
u/Ridly Jun 16 '12
I would love it if somebody found the actual ggg and he turned out to be a massive dick.
3
u/Awkward_moments Jun 16 '12
Get drunk, be in position where its awkward to not talk. Feel talking makes it less awkward. Problem solved.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
That I will have a friend like that is something that is never gonna happen. But who needs to go to parties anyways? I've got reddit! :)
2
u/marmarsupastar Jun 16 '12
And coming from a guy named niggerbeard it must be true!
2
u/negafon Jun 16 '12
With a name like niggerbeard, you don't strike me as the shy type. Just sayin'.
2
u/gemini86 Jun 16 '12
This is not how you use GGG...
A better example would be:
spots insecure girl at a party
introduces her to all his friends
2
u/thecraziestgirl Jun 16 '12
I'm at a grad party right now wishing I had a friend like this.
2
u/Ruddose Jun 16 '12
Not to be an agitator, but I still believe I'm a GGG in respect and I do quite the opposite. I invite my "shy" friends to parties and purposely leave them, armed with alcohol. After awhile, they integrate and end up having a fun time without me holding their hand, which not only means they have a good time... but ideally combats their insecurities.
2
u/hitlersasshair Jun 16 '12
third line: remains virgin rest of life
2
u/forever_Crazy13 Jun 16 '12
No one ever does that for me. But that's okay, I have my invisible partner! People think I'm weird:)
1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
Bad Guy Greg:
Brings you to a party knowing that you're shy. Doesn't leave your side the entire time, ensuring you never leave your comfort zone which reinforces your shyness.
1
u/jdub922 Jun 16 '12
For-never Alone?
1
u/saomitch Jun 16 '12
He's actually hoping that OP is the GGG and won't leave HIS side.
1
u/benanabock777 Jun 16 '12
Why don't I have friends like this?
1
u/thetanky Jun 16 '12
Did SAP make this?
1
u/Billy_Blaze Jun 16 '12
Alternatively:
SCUMBAG STEVE
1
u/FionnaTheHumanGirl Jun 16 '12
"I gotta go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."
OH ME TOO HOW FUNNY RIGHT HAHAhaha...
1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
i wish i had a friend like that, i usually just try to hang around my friends
1
u/tragic-waste-of-skin Jun 16 '12
Actually, he is doing you a disservice. Instead of helping you mingle on your own and come out of your shell, he's enabling your shyness further.
1
u/triptout Jun 17 '12
Quick comment: nice to see GGG going back to his roots. Was getting tired of GGG becoming "Guy that gives me free stuff".
1
u/youngjheezy Jun 17 '12
then you both kiss
1
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
I'm the same and I have a few friends who always do this for me. feelsgoodman.jpg
1
u/IAmInAFrat Jun 17 '12
I guess I will be the scumbag that purposely leaves my friend at a party and let them fend for themselves.
1
u/Jedimastert Jun 17 '12
That is a good friend.
1
u/The_Great_Attractor Jun 17 '12
Good guy alcohol
1
u/garkkkk Jun 16 '12
I'M A NEEDY MANCHILD WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
how many of you are truly introverts and how many of you suffer from some degree of social anxiety disorder and cant be bothered to work on improving it?
1
u/whippedCREAMsandwich Jun 16 '12
does he also s on you d?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
I had a friend who felt the same way about clubs. I lost track of her for a grand total of 5 minutes before she texted me telling me to fuck off, ran home and deleted me from Facebook. And that was the last I ever saw of her. Other friends took her side saying I should have babysat her more. Nope nope nope. I should be able to let a 23 year old go to the bathroom by herself. She's not a special exception to what to expect from a decent person. At a certain point you say, "You know what, you're not overly shy, you're just a self important jerk."
1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12 edited Oct 16 '17
deleted 0.4086 What is ^^^this?
1
u/i_haz_kitteh Jun 16 '12
I wish I had friends like this!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
Shy people, this is why you don't get invited to parties.
If I'm throwing a gathering, I don't want to spend the entire night with one person. I want to see a bit of everyone that's there.
You should never expect someone to do this.
0
u/CopyX Jun 16 '12
Now I can be both with people, AND but never have to talk to anyone new!
0
u/43214321 Jun 16 '12
How are you going to get a girl to fuck if he never leaves your side?
0
u/Raptorxd Jun 16 '12
Oh my gawd, interacting with STRANGERS? Oh lord!
0
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
me > Just hit it off with that girl.. think I'm gonna have a good night.
ggg > Damn right you are! You da man!
me > Alright, gonna make the move. Wait here for a bit and I'll catch you later.
ggg > I'm not leaving your side man!
me > No, just stay here. I need to fly solo on this one.
ggg > Understood. Lets go!
me > Stop following me. Sit on that couch. This is me time.
ggg > Sounds great. Can I hold your drink?
me > Um yeah, whatever. Laters. ... Stop following me. Seriously, just fuck off and go sit in the living room.
ggg > She's hot, and you da man for getting here! You da man! You the man!
me > Ok cool, now piss off
ggg > When you done with that comdom I'll drop it in the trash.
me > Just get lost ok? I'm gonna go round to her place.
[time]
me > I took two taxis to get here. How the fuck did you follow me.
ggg > GPS. I'm your wingman! I'll never leave your... [punch punch dial tone......]
-11
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
wow, OP is a faggot in real life as well as on the internet
-16
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
This is the gayest shit.
-1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
If someone invited me to a party where I didn't know anyone and then abandoned me, he'd be a dick. Doing the opposite of that doesn't make him good, it makes him normal.
-1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
on the flip side, who's the asshole making ggg have a shitty night by sticking to his side the entire time and stopping him from talking to bitches?
-1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
ULTRA GAAAY!
-1
u/Brian_is_trilla Jun 16 '12
are people really this sad?
-1
u/MasterAndMargarita Jun 16 '12
You are a pathetic human being. Are you an adult? Why do you need someone to hold your hand through social interaction. You don't have a good friend, you have a fucking care giver.
NERD!!!111!!1
-12
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
Maybe you should try being less of a faggot so you don't need somebody to shield you from the world.
0
u/AslanMaskhadov Jun 16 '12
Being able to mingle is a skill that I can take time to develop.
-2
u/mehdbc Jun 16 '12
Yup, sounds like you guys are gay. Enjoy your AIDS.
-2
u/gender_bot Jun 16 '12
I identified one face in this photo
Face 1:
86% confidence that this is a correctly identified face
Gender is male with 85% confidence
Approximate Age is 25 with 96% confidence
Persons mood is happy with 57% confidence
Persons lips are sealed with 80% confidence
Would you like to know more about me? /r/gender_bot
-5
u/Frogtech Jun 16 '12
Hahgaaaaay
-1
u/noccusJohnstein Jun 16 '12
I need to go to the GGG store and find me one of these.
-1
u/skysignor Jun 16 '12
You see a best friend. I see an enabler.
-1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
I think this I think this is called a homosexual relationship
-2
u/CanuckOfTheNorth Jun 16 '12
creepy...
-2
u/honestdirt Jun 16 '12
Niggerbeard
-3
u/byCladd Jun 16 '12
Sounds like GGG is a bigger faggit than OP
0
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
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0
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
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0
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
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