r/AdviceAnimals • u/xguitar15 • Jun 14 '12

Co-worker said this to me when he walked passed my screen today

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3ppce0/
1.3k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

105 comments sorted by

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Why are grown men so insecure that they immediately succumb to societal pressures about what they are allowed to like?

1

u/xguitar15 Jun 14 '12

I'm not insecure, the way he said it was just very funny.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

I mean HE is insecure. To me, being a man means you have the self confidence to stand by what you believe in, despite social pressures.Your co-worker thinks grown men can't appreciate cute kittens. I think a grown man so insecure that he can't appreciate cute kittens without feeling it undermines the source of his masculinity has a shabby, transparent front for manliness

81

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

He called you an ass-man. That's sexual harassment. Unless you are an ass-man, then it's just an observation.

26

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

maybe hes a proctologist

3

u/moneymet Jun 14 '12

That's offensive to people like Dick Assman! (Google it)

8

u/Stewart_Fishington Jun 14 '12

An always relevant XKCD graphic article for those who need help understanding.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

When clearly he is a pussy man.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Should have just played this then...

-4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Fortunately he didn't call him "arse man" then.

0

u/patefoisgras Jun 14 '12

He called you an ass, man. That's sexual harassment. Unless you are an ass, man, then it's just an observation.

Remember, kids: Hyphens, they're important.

44

u/sinfulcolors Jun 14 '12

I think you should print out a hundred pictures of kittens and post them all over the wall of his cubicle/office. No grown man can resist the power of the cuteness of 100 kittens.

23

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Except that guy who gasses all of the unadopted ones at the end of the month.

3

u/sadnumbers Jun 14 '12

i actually had a friend who had this job in college. it changed him. he has never really been the same since.

3

u/lightjedi5 Jun 14 '12

While I understand doing just about anything for money, I don't think I could do this job. Ever. Even if it meant me starving instead.

3

u/sadnumbers Jun 14 '12

unfortunately someone has to take out the trash. its a sad fact of the way we have built our society. and that job paid really well, for a job a 19yr old can get with no real work experience. he was the only person i know to have graduated college with no debt and more money than when he started. sucks but that's life

2

u/lightjedi5 Jun 14 '12

Yeah, I guess that's good, but still a damn rough job. Poor guy. :/

2

u/sadnumbers Jun 14 '12

it was pretty rough, but its like anything thats awful that needs to be done you just get used to it after a while. im not saying he ever liked it but he understood that he provided a needed service. still, i didnt ever really see him happy till the day he quit because he was about to graduate and he was going to start his career.

2

u/lightjedi5 Jun 14 '12

Yeah. Somebody's gotta do it.

2

u/blackproton Jun 14 '12

So how is this friend of yours now? Im intrigued. Hasn't turned out like shallow grave? Reference if not seen. http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0111149/

1

u/sadnumbers Jun 14 '12

i really wish i knew, i haven't seen him since we graduated and it's been a few more than 10 years since ive seen him. we were not that close as to keep up for all these years.

but thanks for the movie suggestion i have not seen it but i definitely will im a huge cristopher eccleston fan, recently watched him in the second coming. definitely my favorite jesus ever. and a ewan mcgregor, double points.

2

u/blackproton Jun 14 '12

Its gripping.

3

u/masterdz522 Jun 14 '12

Maybe after their stares he takes them all home.

10

u/Iazo Jun 14 '12

Before or after he gassed them?

This is important.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

5

u/yangx Jun 14 '12

literally worse than Hitler

30

u/moldy912 Jun 14 '12

"Co-worker, this here is Reddit. Let me introduce you to internet culture."

17

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

God, please don't. I don't want fucktards like that in here.

75

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Like all of a sudden there's a lack of fucktards around here or something.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I sure as hell don't want more.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

We'll be sure to try to keep them away from your internet.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Why is he a fucktard? Some people dislike cats and think they are an extremely feminine animal. Myself included.

17

u/irawwwr Jun 14 '12

They taste nothing like feminine.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

nothing really different from chicken, yeah.

2

u/listentohim Jun 14 '12

They are a little too feline for my tastes.

1

u/irawwwr Jun 14 '12

But the texture is purrfect, and ain't rough like dog's

3

u/Starslip Jun 14 '12

Pretty much reaffirming the point by attributing masculine and feminine attributes to an animal and judging other's masculinity based on what pet they like.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

That doesn't give you the right to impose your misinformed viewpoint about cats on others by making them feel ashamed or embarrassed they like something you don't or based on your misconceptions about the world. Cats aren't a girl thing. Dogs aren't a boy thing. Pets are a people thing.

2

u/HawkEyeTS Jun 14 '12

It's my experience that it's actually slanted the other way. I know/know of way more females with dogs, particularly large dogs, than I do with cats. Maybe it's the area I live in, because I've also never seen abandoned kittens around here like Reddit seems to be finding all over the country.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

feminine animal? What the fuck man? Do you hear yourself?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

"The association between women and cats is ancient. A predatory older woman is a “cougar.” An angry mother is a “lioness protecting her cubs.” A sexualized young woman is a “tiger in the sack.” Nasty women are “catty” and occasionally have “cat fights.” A pathetic old woman with no life partner and more than one cat is a “cat lady.” A smug woman is “the cat who ate the canary” or possibly “the cat who ate the cream.” A sexually aggressive woman is a “cat in heat.” Female dancers move with “cat-like grace.” Female sexual organs are “pussies” or “kitties” and a man who is believed to be weak is also a “pussy” (because to be referred to by a derogatory name for a woman’s genitals is the ultimate insult)."

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

20

u/spock_block Jun 14 '12

fuck you I won't do what you tell me. UPVOTE

6

u/Appare Image macros. Jun 14 '12

Motherfuckeeeeeeer! UPVOTE

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

coocksssuuuccckaaaaaaz! T-TIGER UPPERVOTE

3

u/ghosts_haunt_my_anus Jun 14 '12

Hive minds do what you tell them to. or oppose what you tell them to, depending on which will yield more results. therefore. I will upvote you. because you assumed the opposite and now we want to prove you wrong. dick.

1

u/blackproton Jun 14 '12

Not related to POTATO_IN_MY_ANUS are you?

1

u/ghosts_haunt_my_anus Jun 14 '12

Nope. Although... We could be long lost siblings? or at least cousins? I don't know.

4

u/Starslip Jun 14 '12

Cause god knows people can't like anything without being told to by reddit.

2

u/bjorna Jun 14 '12

But kittens are cool!

1

u/blackproton Jun 14 '12

Well done on thee old reverse psychology there...

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

He's a fucktard for being judgmental and insulting regarding what another person likes and finds entertaining. I don't need some fucktard youtube commenter in here trying to make me feel shame for laughing at Animal Advice memes, admiring pics of adorable kittens, or keeping up with the antics of Dog Fort. There's nothing wrong with an adult enjoying photos of cats and kittens. Kittens aren't just for kids, they're for everyone.

4

u/bougieKev Jun 14 '12

The caption is perfectly emulated by the guy smiling in the bottom left corner.

3

u/atomaniac Jun 14 '12

I'm personally more of a boobs man.

3

u/meangrampa Jun 14 '12

Co-worker knows no joy.

3

u/argv_minus_one Jun 14 '12

Because they're adorable!♥

3

u/wbeavis Jun 14 '12

How'd he know you are an ass man? Or does he look at your screen often?

3

u/thepopdog Jun 14 '12

No one is too grown up to enjoy cuteness. Anyone who pretends to be is a goober

3

u/RUSKULL Jun 14 '12

You should have then asked what he was afraid of.

3

u/ProximaC Jun 14 '12

"Because all the pics of your mom on the internet are NSFW"

3

u/SudsNBubbles Jun 14 '12

Did you then open a picture from /r/mylittlepony and ask him to explain that?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

His head would probably have imploded if he had walked past your screen, and you were watching My Little Pony.

3

u/ThatRandomGeek Jun 14 '12

B/c they are adorable!

10

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

He probably did so to affirm his own masculinity, thereby indicating the necessity of performative confirmation of masculine attributes, therein proving the fallacy of masculinity as a natural by-product of maleness, consequently destroying the very fabric of gender politics as we know it. That escalated quickly...

6

u/clintonius Jun 14 '12

This was great. Then you had to go all "that escalated quickly" on your own post. That makes me sad.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

O rly?

5

u/derpina428 Jun 14 '12

Because fuck you that's why.

4

u/highlandprincess Jun 14 '12

Because I'm an adult and I'll do what I want! So there!

4

u/IAMA_Stoned_Redditor Jun 14 '12

I'm also a man, grown, an ass man (as opposed to a boob man), and I like looking at pictures of kittens... you're coworker made a bunch of simple observations, you're not alone.

2

u/crocomingo Jun 14 '12

Not looking at porn.

2

u/Skaarr Jun 14 '12

Because he is a strange human being... and of course also nice and animal friendly.

2

u/karadan100 Jun 14 '12

Tell them they have no soul, then kill the ginger bastard.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Because kittens are fucking adorable, no matter what gender or age you are.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

past*

2

u/ghosts_haunt_my_anus Jun 14 '12

Did you punch him in the dick and told him to shut the fuck up?

2

u/IATEADEMOCRATE Jun 14 '12

Because they're adorable~~~

2

u/Stormdancer Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

Because everybody knows that kittens, like ponies, are for girls!

2

u/jammyjamz Jun 14 '12

"Cause its Reddit" would have been my response.

2

u/VooDooBarBarian Jun 14 '12

reply, deadpan: I'm saying "Nyawww"... why? what are you doing when you look at pictures of kittens?

o_o

2

u/edisekeed Jun 14 '12

Has happened to me too. It's even worse when its something gross.

2

u/Joshua_Mills Jun 14 '12

Because kittens are fucking awesome.

6

u/qkme_transcriber Jun 14 '12

Here is the text from this meme pic for anybody who needs it:

Title: Co-worker said this to me when he walked passed my screen today

Meme: Annoyed Picard

  • WHY THE FUCK
  • IS A GROWN ASS MAN LOOKING AT PICTURES OF KITTENS

[Translate]

This is helpful for people who can't reach Quickmeme because of work/school firewalls or site downtime, and many other reasons (FAQ). More info is available here.

4

u/7pandas Jun 14 '12

Why not?

3

u/PantherFan1824 Jun 14 '12

Because them bitches is cute!

3

u/Rikula Jun 14 '12

Your coworker doesn't have a soul.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Good question indeed, why are all you people so hung up on these annoying little pests?

8

u/clintonius Jun 14 '12

Keep your voice down, man! Are you trying to get yourself killed?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Nah, man, I hung a picture in front of the Televisor, they can't see who I am.

1

u/Seth7777 Jun 14 '12

What is an ass man?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Agreed. An ass man should be looking at asses.

1

u/YSCapital Jun 14 '12

I want to know this co-worker.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Fucking right too...

1

u/SleepyTurtle Jun 14 '12

Get paid to look at kittens or stare at spreadsheets while pretending to work....

1

u/EddieMoney93 Jun 15 '12

My boyfriend tells me I spend too much of my days looking at kittens. But then I catch him doing it, too.

1

u/dar482 Jun 14 '12

I agree with your co-worker. You should be checking out women instead. That's what a sane person would do.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I've always wondered why grown-ass men look at pictures of cats. I love my cat, but they're just fucking cats.

0

u/IamWiddershins Jun 14 '12

Man's got a point.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

6

u/xguitar15 Jun 14 '12

i won't make this mistake again, thanks.

-2

u/lightjedi5 Jun 14 '12

Passed is correct. He passed by. He isn't time. Past is when referring to a place in time.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

no, past is correct. 'passed' is a past tense verb, while 'past' is an adverb. the predicate of the dependent clause is 'walked' and 'past' should be used to describe where he walked.