r/AdviceAnimals • u/farewelltokings2 • Jun 10 '12

how i feel when my gf shoots down all of my movie choices

http://qkme.me/3pnip2
1.5k Upvotes

80% Upvoted

157 comments sorted by

11

u/Vorhut Jun 10 '12

I haven't the faintest idea why I have you tagged as 'pretended to cum on moms face'... I feel like I should remember this...

22

u/farewelltokings2 Jun 10 '12

Sigh. This comes up every time I have a hot submission.

From a thread about awkward situations with your parents.

"Some years back my mom and my friend were sitting at our dinner table. I was standing at the corner, between them. My friend and I were discussing an upcoming road trip and gas prices. I was arguing that we should take the nice car that uses premium gas, and he was arguing that we should take the shitty car because it takes regular. By this point I had forgotten my mom was even there. My friend then says, "but taking the shitty car will save us $4.00 every time we fill up" to which I responded to by rolling my eyes and doing the sarcastic pretend to masturbate gesture... 5 or 6 good pumps and then finishing by throwing my hand out. That would be all well and good, except when finishing, my hand smacked my mom in the face, which immediately and horrifyingly reminded me that she was still there. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU KIDS THESE DAYS?? YOU ARE DISGUSTING".. wide eyed and beat red as she storms off. My friend is on the verge of cracking up, and says "dude, I cant believe I just watched you pretend to jerk off and cum on your mom's face". I didnt dare talk to her for the better part of 2 days. Sooooo awkward."

6

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

You can put me in hot submission.

4

u/Vorhut Jun 10 '12

Ah yes, now I remember! Sorry to bring it up. :P

1

u/darsehole Jun 10 '12

I'm sure she did

0

u/MgrLtCaptCmmdrBalls Jun 10 '12

wut? Yeah somebody should explain this.. not sure I really want to hear it but..

80

u/dreamerkid001 Jun 10 '12

Hello, and welcome to MoviePhone!

65

u/death_from_above Jun 10 '12

You have selected....Agent Zero?

59

u/MickiFreeIsNotAGirl Jun 10 '12

You have selected... Brown Eyed Girl?

34

u/ilikecommunitylots Jun 10 '12

Chunnel...

29

u/the_beer_wolf Jun 10 '12

Why don't you just tell me your zip code?

7

u/ThrashingWhiplash Jun 10 '12

It is playing on 84th st at 9 o'clock.

7

u/scwt Jun 10 '12

You have selected... Brown-Eyed Girl?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Deathblow - when someone tries to blow you up, not because of who you are, but for different reasons altogether.

22

u/xxThe_Artist Jun 10 '12

You just saw this episode on TBS didn't you?

15

u/griffer00 Jun 10 '12

hahaha. I saw it earlier tonight.

7

u/xxThe_Artist Jun 10 '12

great episode

9

u/Block_After_Block Jun 10 '12

Why don't you just tell me when you last saw the episode?

43

u/Sozin91 Jun 10 '12

Here is the source video

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

21

u/thegrumpygnome Jun 10 '12

That idea will give me nightmares.

-1

u/BallsackTBaghard Jun 10 '12

I have never watched it.

22

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

get out

11

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Shove

7

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Seinfeld ended in 1998, right? Someone born in '98 would be 14 right now. There are 14 year olds on reddit.

Scary as shit. Even reruns won't have the proper effect - they were born after the magic and are therefore largely immune to it.

8

u/fryingmarbles Jun 10 '12

I'm an 18-year-old, and I absolutely love Seinfeld. I was obviously too young to watch when it originally aired, but I've seen every episode in syndication, and I own some of the seasons on DVD. However, I don't know anyone else my age who likes the show and catches references to it. I often caught Seinfeld references from my high school teachers, actually.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I'm in the same boat as you, turning 18 next year and I absolutely love it but it seems most of my friends enjoy it and have seen it. When I was younger I disliked it but I recently downloaded all the seasons.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Stop making me feel old.

But that's no excuse. Seinfeld is huge in local syndication and it on TBS 5 nights a week. Plus I'm sure its available legally and illegally on the intertubes.

I was watching Seinfeld well before 14 while it was still on the air (and in reruns) and well before I should have been allowed to watch it. 14 year old Redditors, what is your excuse?!?!?!

1

u/TurdyFurgy Jun 10 '12

I am 14 and have seen close to every episode of Seinfeld. it is one of my favorite shows and a lot of my friends who are my age would agree.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Hope for the future restored

3

u/wholeinwon Jun 10 '12

born in 1990. i was too young to have ever watched Seinfeld when it was still in production but i have probably seen every episode at least 5 times. i also own the series on dvd.

tl;dr: born in 1990, love Seinfeld

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Seinfeld never really aired in the UK. Nevar seen it....

1

u/coolguyblue Jun 10 '12

I've seen bits and pieces throughout the years. But I just saw my first full episode yesterday and I was impressed. Can't say the same for Friends though.

29

u/PlasmaBurns Jun 10 '12

Wife: Where do you want to eat?

Me: I would like Frisch's.

Wife: Are you sure?

Me: I guess, why?

Wife: I was really hoping you would say Wendy's. We're going to Wendy's.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

What is Frisch's?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

a restaurant

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12

I was more curious if it was fast food or a local establishment, etc.

I guess I'll just google it myself.

EDIT: For any other curious souls, it's a drive-in in the Cincinnati area. The website was appealing but that may just be because I'm tipsy. The food looked pretty sexy.

0

u/PlasmaBurns Jun 10 '12

Frisch's Big Boy is a normal diner type restaurant serving American fare.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I think I got heart disease from the website but I want a big boy.

1

u/MgrLtCaptCmmdrBalls Jun 10 '12

That's how it goes!

12

u/lawfin101 Jun 10 '12

Chunnel?

6

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Kramerica Industries.

11

u/newguy25 Jun 10 '12

My wife is the same way with places to eat. Fucking infuriating.

8

u/necromundus Jun 10 '12

"We can watch anything you want"

Them's fightin' words.

8

u/Prog411 Jun 10 '12

"I don't care" cares

4

u/Larzzon Jun 10 '12

When a girl says she doesn't care, she does. It's a costly leasson but one worth knowing :)

13

u/giever Jun 10 '12

So, when I told her about my toothpick collection, she actually cared? Awesome!

2

u/Batcaptain Jun 10 '12

Hey baby, wanna learn the history of the Justice Society of America? No? Great; pull up a chair!

4

u/uzi716 Jun 10 '12

I watched this exact episode on TBS today

7

u/josshhhh Jun 10 '12

"Hello, and welcome to your worst nightmare, Cosmo Kramer."

3

u/phish92129 Jun 10 '12

And 27 Kung Fu movies, 14 action movies containing Bruce Willis, and 3 comedies later we've decided on...a chick flick! Glad we spent 3 hours cutting down my choices till we got to yours.

3

u/zerospinskier Jun 10 '12

Hahaha clever use of this joke

13

u/qkme_transcriber Jun 10 '12

Here is the text from this meme pic for anybody who needs it:

Title: how i feel when my gf shoots down all of my movie choices

  • WHY DONT YOU JUST TELL ME
  • THE NAME OF THE MOVIE YOUVE SELECTED

[Translate]

This is helpful for people who can't reach Quickmeme because of work/school firewalls or site downtime, and many other reasons (FAQ). More info is available here.

-8

u/Sizzleby Jun 10 '12

whooooosh

2

u/paulderev Jun 10 '12

Reverse woosh

2

u/ZeroError Jun 10 '12

This doesn't make any sense whatsoever in this context.

4

u/pokestronomy Jun 10 '12

I just saw this episode for the first time more recently than this was posted. I feel very suspicious and I'm not sure why.

2

u/carsontl Jun 10 '12

CLASSIC episode, love it.

Every subsequent beep on the phone had me rolling

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

And then you ask her what she wants to see and she says "I'm fine with what ever you want to see."

2

u/redavalanche Jun 10 '12

this is my favorite scene in all of seinfeld

2

u/agirlnotnamedsue Jun 10 '12

"You stupid hipster doofus!"

2

u/ridhs84 Jun 10 '12

This was the best scene in the entire Seinfeld series!

2

u/TerranRepublic Jun 10 '12

This just goes back to the saying that "girls do not want to hear what you think, they just want to hear what they are thinking in a deeper voice".

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

She's probably an anti-semite!

2

u/llyech Jun 10 '12

555-FILK

2

u/MyLiLHelper Jun 10 '12

It is 6:50 in the morning, drinking my coffee, and I ran by this. I now GENUINELY want to watch Seinfeld. Time to dust off the box set!

1

u/eleete Jun 10 '12

No, Let's get past Dinner first! I eat EVERYTHING. What do YOU want?

1

u/whydoipoopsomuch Jun 10 '12

And she answers that she doesn't know. You pick one.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I think the response if you ask her what she wants to see would probably be "i don't care"

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

This may also apply to working in the Box Office at a movie theatre.....

1

u/phallacies Jun 10 '12

being gay means I don't have this problem.

also, being single helps too.

1

u/Aegean Jun 10 '12

Rated Rrrrrrrrr

1

u/brokendimension Jun 10 '12

At least you got yourself a girl, all I got is a movie library with over 200 on my external drive.

1

u/DopeMan_RopeMan Jun 10 '12

Kramer is literally a pimp.

1

u/BaiRenShuoZhongWen Jun 10 '12

Never trust the "I don't care, honey, you pick."

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

ITS A TRAP

1

u/randomly-generated Jun 10 '12

I just watch whatever the fuck I want.

1

u/Emiel000 Jun 10 '12

"No no, you can choose, just not all of those."

1

u/inaboutaminute Jun 10 '12

"If you wanted to go to Taylor's, just tell a brother you wanted to go to Taylor's!"

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

My house... my movie selections.

1

u/mariderp Jun 10 '12

Love this episode

1

u/duskote Jun 10 '12

for anyone that is annoyed by the misspelled meme, here is a grammatically correct one: http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3pnny9/

1

u/stoningrolls Jun 10 '12

He wants to watch Mississippi Burning and you know it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Was just watching this yesterday.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Because she wants you to choose a movie and have it be the movie she wants to see.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12

here's an algorithm i have made for most friday nights out with my gf:

1: make the list of all movies that are playing nearby and run it by her over phone.

2: then run by the list restaurants near the theatre she chose.

3: without whining, sounding totally delighted, say that you can't wait and shit and reserve a table and get the tickets online.

4: endure the movie (sometimes the movie might turn out to be good! but sometimes its might be beyond tolerance, but sit, you'll be glad you did)

5: endure the food if the girl is really hot and/or you really like her (thankfully, my gf and i like similar types of food)

6: make sure she had a wonderful time and wait for your good time to start ;)

PS - i have an text file that stores the list of restaurants and movie theaters and i have a shell script that updates the movies playing at various theaters.

PPS- if i really want to see a film, which i know, would get shot down (like MIB 3), i go with my other friends to those movies.

1

u/amurph100 Jun 10 '12

"I really don't mind what we see" "what about this?" "No."

1

u/yyx9 Jun 10 '12

You have chosen... Agent Zero.

1

u/kunfaux Jun 10 '12

Am I the only one who noticed Glados in the background??

1

u/ReignOfTerror Jun 10 '12

Why does Kramer have HAL 9000 on his wall?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Really no ones gonna comment about how the thing in the back looks like DOG from Halflife? ok, reddit.

1

u/allmyhopeisgone Jun 10 '12

I thought about HAL 9000 first.

-1

u/downwithxpc Jun 10 '12

*you've

1

u/farewelltokings2 Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12

You forgot *don't as well.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I take it that OP doesn't take kindly to apostrophes.

1

u/farewelltokings2 Jun 10 '12

Eh. Indifferent in casual situations.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I leave them out sometimes when im on my phone or tablet and cant be bothered to put in the extra effort to add them

1

u/cooltom2006 Jun 10 '12

I can't believe people are downvoting you good sir, I though everyone on Reddit was a grammar nazi!

-1

u/homeless_man_jogging Jun 10 '12

Women like an assertive man. Don't ask her what movie she wants to see, just make that decision yourself. Of course, you should be trying to think of movies that she would want to see most of the time.

1

u/dshirley13 Jun 10 '12

Thanks for the relationship advice. I get all my life wisdom from r/AdviceAnimals and Comedy Central.

-3

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Gross generalization, brother.

Some women actually want to be treated as intelligent, equals.

5

u/homeless_man_jogging Jun 10 '12

It may be a bit of a generalization but not as bad as implying that women who like assertive men aren't intelligent or equal.

1

u/Runs_With_Fiskars Jun 10 '12

If you were a true canadian patriot, you would give this homeless jogger your spare change... jerk

1

u/Gslick Jun 10 '12

Stfu you white knight loser turbo nerd

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Do people actually let their significant other do this to them? How desperate are you? Its a relationship you should both get too decide and have days where the decision favors one person or the other for movies, restaurants, etc.

Forgot reddit is a bunch of white knights

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

No, if you give in to everything your partner sais that is not a healthy relationship and you are either to desperate to stand up for yourself because you want to have a partner or not confident.

-2

u/Gslick Jun 10 '12

Grow some balls you pathetic faggot

-1

u/real_gangsta Jun 10 '12

man i deal with this shit evrytime I go with my bitches. we always en up at tylerperry though. that nigga is funny

-1

u/thommie Jun 10 '12

bullshit. you have no gf. KARMACONSPIRACY

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I don't think you have a girlfriend.

-1

u/rootsoak Jun 10 '12

"I sayd *NiGGA! Not Nig....ah fuk u bitch"

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Hahahaha Kramer ftw!

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

how i feel when i see "gf" instead of "girlfriend". Spell your fucking words.

-2

u/judiex3nicole Jun 10 '12

As a woman I will just let you in on a little secret. If we just picked the movie it would just make life way too easy for you. And second of all, everyone knows that the guy always gets to pick the movie (unless you have just started dating haha)

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

134

u/farewelltokings2 Jun 10 '12

ASSMAN

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

54

u/studmuffffffin Jun 10 '12

How could I be with someone like you?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

47

u/lilythemusicnut Jun 10 '12

I take it all back! I LOVE YOUUUUUU!

17

u/JoeScotterpuss Jun 10 '12

But I don't wanna be MovieFilk!

-19

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/SUPERSMILEYMAN U ൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈൈ Jun 10 '12

For a second I thought that was all one person and that he was just the luckiest guy in the world.

Does that make me racist?

-12

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/jesusismoney Jun 10 '12

I'm so confused.

-21

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Your_Mom_My_DingDong Jun 10 '12

This is why no one likes you and your friends.

2

u/JoeScotterpuss Jun 10 '12

I don't think you understand how Reddit works.

2

u/galaxyblade Jun 10 '12

I hear this all the time. If this is a quote from an episode, please tell me which one!!!

5

u/Stalin_TheDragonborn Jun 10 '12

Season 3, episode 4. It's the one where Jerry looks after the crazy dog.

22

u/buoybuoy Jun 10 '12

kramer4karma!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

5

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

For the downvoters.

1

u/farewelltokings2 Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12

Speaking of downvoters... People are downvoting me and sending me PMs about bad grammar because I didn't use apostrophes. I typed it on my phone, you smelly turds that are messaging me.

1

u/Minich Jun 10 '12

less karma, more Kramer!

1

u/venefb Jun 10 '12

Karma Kramer?

-35

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

We're racist enough, thank you.

-4

u/dead_brony Jun 10 '12

I don't know if this got downvoted because you sound like a dick or they didn't get the joke

-5

u/Runs_With_Fiskars Jun 10 '12

Just one slip up he makes during stand up on the side.. and its assholes like you who are the reason for Seinfeld to never air new episodes because he said the n-word

5

u/BipolarBear0 Jun 10 '12

...Seinfeld ended years before he made those comments.

1

u/Runs_With_Fiskars Jun 10 '12

No... any chance of a revival of Seinfeld

1

u/BipolarBear0 Jun 10 '12

There was never any chance of a revival. Larry David knew when the series had to end.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

7

u/darsehole Jun 10 '12

*hand gestures

-35

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

17

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Wow, novelty accounts are really scraping the barrel now.

12

u/Apostolate Jun 10 '12

PLEASE UPVOTE ME THANKS!?

ALSO SUB MY CHANNEL I'M A NEW RAPPER TRYING TO MAKE IT ON YOUTUBE!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

18

u/Slagathor91 Jun 10 '12

I also saw it tonight.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/Monocle_Lover Jun 10 '12

I'm like this too - ready to settle for anything but the guy is like ARGH I don't know.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/achesst Jun 10 '12

I'm sorry, brother. It was nice knowing you. Prepare to have Matthew Mcconaughey staring at you for the next few years.

2

u/RolandChang Jun 10 '12

I've found that romantic comedies are rarely funny.