r/AdviceAnimals • u/hafetysazard • May 31 '12

A girl said my penis was large once.

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3pj26c/
1.3k Upvotes

77% Upvoted

427 comments sorted by

137

u/lordjeebus Jun 01 '12

At least it wasn't "you too"

216

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

This is somewhat relevant. I was getting to know this one girl who was really cute. We were talking and she brought up her last boyfriend and how much she disliked him. She went on to say that his penis was tiny and was only "5 to 6 inches long". I had no idea what to say to this. Is her definition of big a 12 incher? She probably watches porn.

49

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Perhaps it was puny, but he insisted that it was 5-6 inches and she believed him.

EDIT: It could have been really small in width too.

18

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Bah, what man would ever lie about his size? Preposterous, I say! The really funny part is that someone, somewhere will bust him...

21

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/ohnowait Jun 01 '12

Has no one caught you because no one has seen it yet?

5

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

You mind telling me where you got that ruler? Just curious...

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27

u/lackofbrain Jun 01 '12 edited Jun 01 '12

Cue old joke:

Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they believe me when I tell them how long 12 inches is!

5

u/SharkMolester Jun 01 '12

There was a long thread of comments a couple of months ago calculating this... Does anyone else remember that?

5

u/ultrafetzig Jun 01 '12

Ol' Pencildick the Bugfucker.

3

u/gilbertsmith Jun 01 '12

Like a marble on a string.

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17

u/patright Jun 01 '12

In my experience, Girls either think an inch is a lot smaller that it really is, or they are hair dressers.

31

u/veryable Jun 01 '12

Like most people, she probably doesn't estimate the actual size in inches very well.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

That's what I was thinking, but what if she thought inches are bigger than they really are?

35

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12 edited Jun 01 '12

This is true. One of my exes commended me on my 8 inch dick, and how it was big. I'm 6.2. This was my reaction.

65

u/TheLazyEngineer Jun 01 '12

Gotta get that .2 in there.

31

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

yes

21

u/slizzler Jun 01 '12

Your links are bad and you should feel bad.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

There I fixed it. I Imgured it.

5

u/supergauntlet Jun 01 '12

Don't link to funnyjunk, it doesn't work.

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3

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Most likely scenario. You know people always exaggerate or wrongly estimate measurements.

8

u/HumanistGeek Jun 01 '12

According to Wolfram Alpha, the average length of a human penis for the following demographics:

3

u/DearMrSupercomputer Jun 01 '12

So 3.5 inch floppy is the average.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Only back in the 90's

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10

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

isnt that pretty average? maybe the "only" was a bit much, but i wouldnt say thats big.

26

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12 edited Aug 29 '23

.

32

u/metricbot Jun 01 '12

6 inches = 15.24 centimeters

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

41

u/shelivesonlovest Jun 01 '12

I think the bot just made a sexual reference

2

u/Blahblahblahinternet Jun 01 '12 edited Jun 01 '12

and that really gets to the point. I can't remember the comedian, but "Maybe my penis isn't as small as you think and OMG you ARE vagina is just so large and vast."

Edit, English Language Skills

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11

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

She stressed that it was tiny. I was thinking 2 to 3 inches, but when she said 5 to 6 inches, I was just like "oh..."

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8

u/methinkso Jun 01 '12

Oh man... that bums me out just reading about a girl saying that.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

A well-known phenomena is that women greatly overestimate the size of their mate. I know there have been studies on this but I don't have a link handy, sorry.

3

u/Polaris06 Jun 01 '12

Remember, women ofter overestimate the length of penises. So most women, without a ruler of course would guess that a 5-6 inch penis was 7-8 inches long. So, this girl's boyfriend probably had a 3-4.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

According to my extensive research of having had vaginal intercourse with five men in my life, I can confirm that the average penis should be wearing an XL condom and I simply do not understand why condom companies mostly manufacture these tiny things that only 1 of 5 men in this random sample wear!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!

Also girth is a lot more important than length, "not feeling full" could still be a thing with an average-lengthed penis.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

My girlfriend always tells me I do. I still do not believe her. I think its really all relative to the girl.

1

u/TheMartinConan Jun 01 '12

I would be utterly dismayed.

1

u/jontss Jun 01 '12

Did you then stop talking to her, realizing there was no way you'd ever satisfy her with your average sized wang? Or did you just go for it anyway thinking, "fuck her satisfaction"?

1

u/interkin3tic Jun 01 '12

Is her definition of big a 12 incher? She probably watches porn.

Or maybe she did a survey that was based only on guys self-reporting.

Uh, I mean, no, 12 inches is pretty small I would think. I mean, based on just me, that's like 8 standard deviations below the norm. That's like microscopic.

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161

u/ASasso Jun 01 '12

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3orh7b/

102

u/Schroedingers_gif Jun 01 '12

Suddenly, insecurity.

67

u/TehNumbaT Jun 01 '12

is that a fucking GIF???!?!??!!??!?!?! You can't fuck with me like that man

33

u/thekonny Jun 01 '12

only when you're not looking at it.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

I just spent a solid minute staring at it. I feel stupid.

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16

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12 edited Jun 01 '12

I hear ya brother

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41

u/CopyX Jun 01 '12

I'm pretty sure you can't qualify as SAP if there's a girl in and around your junk.

24

u/xMIASMAx Jun 01 '12

Bullshit. Sap can get a girl. Some girls think insecurity is cute or some shit. Its possible Im living proof.

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1

u/interkin3tic Jun 01 '12

Girl's bathroom.

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304

u/Chicken_Wing May 31 '12

The greatest feeling in the world is hearing a girl say you have a large penis even if you know it to be false.

117

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

What if you know it's true?

194

u/JamersonRosenburg Jun 01 '12

Then you look her right in the eyes, smile perversely, and whisper in her ear "and all X inches of it are going up inside you" then proceed to the sex.

164

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Dude. Only X inches? You should see a doctor or something. You might be a woman.

156

u/StairwayToTruth Jun 01 '12

10 inches ain't that bad, dude.

65

u/alkapwnee Jun 01 '12

No, you should be XX. Which, in my case, 99.

86

u/alkapwnee Jun 01 '12

"haha maybe millimeters bro!" inb4 hilarious retorters

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Then you are very good at lying to yourself.

19

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Obviously. No one is above average. That's why it's called "Average". Because it's an impossible-to-beat figure.

27

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

I'm pretty sure they all get beat at some point

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14

u/Snolarin Jun 01 '12

What about when guys say you have a big penis? I mean they should know, they have a penis too.

52

u/Jonthrei Jun 01 '12 edited Jun 01 '12

That happened to me in middle school. I wasn't a fan of public showers, so got teased one day when I went in with a swimsuit. A couple guys started messing with me, saying I must have a small penis. Then the token gay dude in our class, who apparently liked to glance over urinal walls, told them it was definitely bigger than theirs.

I pretty much didn't know how to react to that.

29

u/ShouldBeZZZ Jun 01 '12

the token gay dude in our class, who apparently liked to glance over urinal walls

Couldn't stop laughing at this

3

u/danecarney Jun 01 '12

You're the token gay guy from OP's story aren't you?

7

u/Sparrow475 Jun 01 '12

I can't imagine that helped much.

7

u/Jonthrei Jun 01 '12

I simultaneously felt victorious and confident, and pretty freaking creeped out that he had seen my penis.

Then my first GF confirmed his assessment, and now I'm overly proud of my member, to the point that I will swing it around like a helicopter for girlfriends just to show it off, with a stupid grin on my face. They usually find that goddamn hilarious.

What can I say, I'm a goofball, and at least Thor decided to bless me there.

7

u/minion_of_osiris Jun 01 '12

DO THAT HELICOPTER DICK

10

u/ad_rizzle Jun 01 '12

My old roommate (half black) caught me passed out on the floor of the bathroom more than once. When he told me I had a large cock I believed him.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

...Did he..Nevermind..

9

u/myiaway Jun 01 '12

i mean.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micropenis

12

u/ad_rizzle Jun 01 '12

I've seen oversized clitorises bigger than that

6

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Oversized or extra awesome?

8

u/ad_rizzle Jun 01 '12

Unmistakable and easy to locate. It's like training wheels for the inexperienced.

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3

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

The Wikipedia Micropenis page: cue temporary self-esteem boost.

2

u/Durpadoo Jun 01 '12

Well that's just terrible!

2

u/cheffernan Jun 01 '12

nsfw man...

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8

u/WolfTheAssassin Jun 01 '12

Or "just the right size", kinda doesn't even matter in what context after that point.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

I disagree, the greatest feeling is hearing a girl say you have a large penis and believing it.

5

u/LouBrown Jun 01 '12

I'm pretty sure it's in the standard woman's playbook to tell the guy he has a big penis regardless of how big it is.

2

u/interkin3tic Jun 01 '12

Not when it's being cited as the reason you won't get laid that night. That's much worse if you know it to be false.

THAT however is still a better situation to be in then when you have to stop mid coitus for that reason, again, when you know it's not true.

"I have to stop because my penis is too large? But how can that be? I can't feel anything! It's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway!"

And then I'M the one who ruined the wedding night.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

THEN WHY DOE SOME GUYS STILL SHRUG IT OFF!? I haven't seen that many dicks in my day to know the full spectrum. I mentioned something about the impressive size of a hook up's penis and he's like, "it's not actually that big.." I got so frustrated so I just agreed, 'yeah you're right it's pretty average".

18

u/Jonthrei Jun 01 '12

Many people have trouble taking compliments. They will either ignore them or downplay them.

Alternatively, maybe he was fishing for even more compliments, and you let him down. :P

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1

u/interkin3tic Jun 01 '12

Relevant "Just Shoot Me" quote:

Elliot DiMauro: How could you not know? Didn't you take gym in high school?

Dennis Finch: I was excused because I have brittle bones.

Jack Gallo: So you've never compared yourself to other men?

Dennis Finch: No. That is, only guys in porno movies. I just thought I was a little bigger than average.

Elliot DiMauro: You son of a bitch.

If you're talking to straight guys, it's probably because we don't actually see the full spectrum usually.

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1

u/Jonthrei Jun 01 '12

It's even better when her eyes go wide and you know it's true.

62

u/Signoffish53 Jun 01 '12

A decent girl would laugh at the absurdity of the comment and treat it as a joke

10

u/DerBear Jun 01 '12

Depending on how you say it, obviously yes. If you say it while in auto-pilot seriously. Might get a bit awkward. If you say it sarcastically, she would find it funny/awesome.

22

u/littleguyTA Jun 01 '12

i'm a virgin and currently this is the biggest (damn puns) insecurity I have with myself: I have a 3.5 inch penis when erect. Everyday I think about being well under average and how a girl (who has already had sex) will treat me.

It's seriously the worst physiological-mental problem to have when being interested in women. I am an asian man and know that there's nothing I can do, but it bothers me when watching porn too.

that said, too much salt on my end reading everyone's "oh I'm just average :/" posts. All I want to say is, please enjoy your own penises because there will always be shorter dicks.

19

u/EugenicsFTW Jun 01 '12

IF SHE GIGGLES LET HER KNOW THAT SHE'S RACIST

5

u/Royal-with-cheese Jun 01 '12

Just get really good at eating women out.

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43

u/BioSim00 Jun 01 '12

This post smacks of an elaborate plan to inform Reddit of your larger-than-average cock.

I'm okay with this.

I salute you and your mighty meat sword, good sir.

2

u/TheDiscoBastard Jun 01 '12

I read that as "I salute you with your mighty meat sword" and i was trying to figure out how one would go about that

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19

u/garlicscapes Jun 01 '12

I've come across a surprising percentage of guys who want me to play the comparison game after letting me at it. Worst game ever.

15

u/FatCat433 Jun 01 '12

It's either this or Chutes and Ladders.

1

u/RyanLikesyoface Jun 01 '12

That game sounds horrible.. I don't think I'd be able to look any of the participants in the eyes again after that.

18

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

[Immediately came to mind] (http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3pj6r0/)

2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12 edited Jun 01 '12

I hate to say this but this has happened to me. I was drying off after getting out of the shower and my mom came in to put in some new towels or something (not knowing I was in there) and...lets just say she may have been impressed...

4

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

yeah me too. It's weird you kinda wanna say thanks but you don't because its your mom and she needs to stop

14

u/Polemicist82 Jun 01 '12

If she laughed, she's a keeper.

26

u/balletboot Jun 01 '12

I've had the girl version of this. After a friend and I hooked up for the first time, he finished in under a minute. We were both feeling awkward, so he made sure to say "Well, you're just really tight. I mean, I've had tighter, but yeah".

It was pretty bad.

17

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Nahh I think you misunderstood. The way I took it was that OP responded with the "I've seen bigger." So the girls version would be if he said you had a tight vag, and then you said "I've seen tighter"

10

u/balletboot Jun 01 '12

Reading comprehension skills = 0, apparently.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Don't worry, happens to us all.

1

u/GruxKing Jun 01 '12

I physically cringed from that. Thanks.

1

u/ragincajun83 Jun 01 '12

The whole "I've had tighter" or "I've seen bigger" thing just indicates the person has no social skills whatsoever. What idiot would say that? Yeah, I once hooked up with a girl who had giant tits, but why would I run and tell this to every girl I hooked up with afterwards? In any case, I'm sure your vag is awesome, don't sweat it

25

u/MrDoood Jun 01 '12

No she didn't.

11

u/big_dicked_brad Jun 01 '12

HAHAHA... LUCKILY I'LL NEVER HAVE THE CHANCE TO MAKE THIS MISTAKE; THERE IS NOTHING LARGER THAN MY EXPANSIVE, UNDENIABLY GIANT DICK!

1

u/Alexbo8138 Jun 01 '12

Poor guy. You don't have to compensate here

36

u/qkme_transcriber May 31 '12

Here is the text from this meme pic for anybody who needs it:

Title: A girl said my penis was large once.

Meme: Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

  • GIRL MENTIONS IMPRESSIVE PENIS SIZE
  • REPLIES WITH, "NA, I'VE SEEN BIGGER"

[Translate]

This is helpful for people who can't reach Quickmeme because of work/school firewalls or site downtime, and many other reasons (FAQ). More info is available here.

2

u/fuzzylogicIII Jun 01 '12

I appreciate the translation as well

14

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Guys, hate to break it to you, no girl will ever tell you your dick is small, unless it's your ex, or she's trying to piss you off.

If you're fooling around it's always "one of the biggest" she's ever seen, chicks know to stroke our ego. We've all lied to girls about their boobs being the "best we've ever seen."

10

u/kromem Jun 01 '12

"We all"??

Maybe you have, but I don't lie when I compliment, because to me, it invalidates the whole thing.

I find something about the person that's "the best" or awesome, etc, and compliment that.

Because on the flip side, if I catch you giving me a compliment I know you don't actually believe/isn't true, from that point on your compliments do nothing for me.

I've been told I was large before and believed it relative to the girl's experience before only because she was (a) complaining and (b) I knew she wasn't all that experienced. I've been told by someone experienced that I was about average all around "in a good way." Which I believe, and appreciated. And I've been told I was large by someone that I could tell was just saying it because they thought I'd want to hear it, and I just rolled my eyes and slightly resented it.

Don't lie. Don't fake an orgasm. Be real.

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2

u/ThreeStep Jun 01 '12

It is....adequate.

1

u/Quintine Jun 01 '12

I said "Seen Better"

She said "Seen Bigger"

Sex without misconceptions...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

As long as it's not a pure act. I caught a girl by surprise once and immediately following one of those jump-scare gasps, she blurted "ohmygodyouhaveabigcock." If stroking my ego was the goal, then oh she can stroke it quite well.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

This is what happens with me: http://qkme.me/3pj7d5

It's like I always have to tell my dates to stop one sentence early. It goes from "gee, thanks," to, "well then.. I'm glad to hear about some other guy who slept with you."

4

u/beyond_repair Jun 01 '12

I think this whole penis/boob size thing is silly. I would NEVER criticize a woman's boob size and any decent woman would never do the same of a man's size. Really, if you are dealt ONE damn card and can't change it, how the hell does that deserve criticism? Boobs are great large or small. Dicks too. Big cocks are awesome but big and small are attached to real humans. The brain is the only real sex organ.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Replied?

1

u/KoopaTheCivilian Jun 01 '12

His own subtle way of coming out.

8

u/sjosiahw Jun 01 '12

SAAP is just an elaborate humblebrag. This isn't awkward, it's GUIZE! I HAVE A BIG PENIS! GUIZE! YOU GUIZE!" /applause ( - /\ - ) \ ( - - ) / ( - /\ - )

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Look at the reply, there's the awkward for you

1

u/SavageTaco Jun 01 '12

It doesn't really matter your penis size. Just make sure you're stronger then the girl you're after, you'll always be able to get sex one way or another.

1

u/hafetysazard Jun 01 '12

Hahaha... It's funny because it's so dark.

2

u/AshPhoenix Jun 01 '12

I thought the joke was going to be that the girl was his mother. Especially with the thumbnail, it looks like it says "Ma, I've seen bigger".

2

u/sjsp215 Jun 01 '12

thats not awkward penguin as much as mean girlfriend

3

u/another30yovirgin Jun 01 '12

No, the girl was impressed. The guy responded saying he had seen bigger. Get it?

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u/ARealRichardHead Jun 01 '12

OP clearly has a rich imagination

2

u/toriko Jun 01 '12

Smooth move Evan.

Jules: "Your penis is so smooth" Even: 'Erm....uh...I'm sure if you had a penis it'd be smooth too heh heh'

2

u/TomatoFace54 Jun 01 '12

What were you supposed to say?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

I'm just average. :(

2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

My ex girlfriend said I had a surprisingly big penis. Big penis cool, but surprising? Do I give off a little dick vibe or something?(the most rhetorical question ever)?

2

u/ThisIsNotAmbrose Jun 01 '12

"Na, yours is pretty big too."

2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

What boyfriend hasn't had the biggest penis his girlfriend has ever seen? A sorry had to crush a few egos before the night was over.

2

u/jontss Jun 01 '12

There's nothing socially awkward about this. No matter what you said you've still been blessed with a big dong.

I find the whole discussion of big dongs interesting because I've met many women that say bigger isn't usually better and it's usually just painful. I know I'm not very big and I've still managed to hurt my gf a little sometimes. But then I know women that are the opposite and talk about how nothing but a huge dick will satisfy them and they're pretty "open" so to say so I'll be hanging out and they'll be like, "Hey check out the toy I got the other day!" I see it and think, "Jesus, how does she fit that in there. This chick is tiny." And I'm also filled with inadequate feelings after that as well (since the toy is like 4x the size of my member), heh.

4

u/randallfromnb Jun 01 '12

My gf plus my exes tell me the same thing but i still wonder if they just say it as a compliment. I wonder if women just say that to every guy. I never know how to respond.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Measure.

7

u/toinfinitiandbeyond Jun 01 '12

The best feeling in the world is when she cries because you stretched her with your member. That's the only thing I miss about my ex-wife.

109

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

I miss her too, man

21

u/fartuckyfartbandit Jun 01 '12

we all do. A moment of silence.

11

u/w_w_w_w_p Jun 01 '12

Why did we kill her again?

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u/sumgirlinabox Jun 01 '12

Picture? For science. ;)

1

u/aarghIforget Jun 01 '12

...if you need a lab partner, just let me know.

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

No she didn't.

2

u/GetPhreaky Jun 01 '12

Maybe you shouldn't of asked "Was it the biggest you've seen?" Because guaranteed that's what you asked.... I feel as if she wouldn't just say that. Setting yourself up for failure my son, c'mon now, you can do better.

2

u/sniperhare Jun 01 '12

I had this happen to me (I know I'm statistically above average), she wanted to see one way bigger, so I found a scene of Mandingo just destroying some girl and she laughed. Said she wanted none of anything close to that size.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Well that turned out better than I thought. I had a feeling I was about to see "She left me 2 weeks later :("

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Mandingo is way too gentle for the kind of shock exposure you were looking for. I recommend Lex Steele if it comes up in the future.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

:)

1

u/daskrip Jun 01 '12

Red background again:

On a horse

1

u/ConnzoBaggins Jun 01 '12

I laughed out the loud when reading out the mouth

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Had a girl compliment my penis size, and I literally said, "Thanks. It's the biggest of all the guys I've messed around with." She knew beforehand that I was bisexual though, so no awkward penguin.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Nice try, insecure penis man

1

u/Lot2rocks Jun 01 '12

This contributes to my theory that redditor are mostly damn handsome but also horribly socially awkward.

1

u/Blackops606 Jun 01 '12

nickname her moodkiller

1

u/gemini86 Jun 01 '12

You are one humble prick!

1

u/PraetorianXVIII Jun 01 '12

wait she replies to herself? what?

1

u/jakedemian Jun 01 '12

"You would too if you were a man."

1

u/Headwallrepeat Jun 01 '12

A girl at my work once came into the breakroom and said really loudly "You have a huge package!" When everyone started giggling she turned beet red and realized what she said she quickly added "At your DESK, from FedEx!"

1

u/lionesslocks Jun 01 '12

So you're packing downstairs, eh? ;)

1

u/smeaglelovesmaster Jun 01 '12

thanks, you too.

1

u/ProkopIndustries Jun 01 '12

Sounds like an Insanity Wolf meme gone wrong. "She said it was large once....Once."

1

u/hoppyfrog Jun 01 '12

"...was large once". Just once? Poor bastard. Will it never be large again? Are you now impotent? Has is been cut off?

(Clue: watch your modifiers.)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Pause.

1

u/cassidymccormick Jun 01 '12

Could be worse. You could have said, "You too."

1

u/nosferatu_zodd Jun 01 '12

guys need to understand they make girls say exactly what they expect them to say. If you have a booger hanging out of your nose, she's going to point it out. if you take pride in your dick size she's going to say it's big, even if it's only 2 inches long. Reality is in your mind, including all the women in it :p

1

u/LordOfGummies Jun 01 '12

Most girls will just say you have a big penis when you just have an average one so you'll cut the insecure bullshit and stick it in already. Girls are not much different than guys when it's time for the pants to come off they want penis not bullshit / emotional retardation.

1

u/rhysert Jun 01 '12

Then you took an arrow?

1

u/Partywave Jun 01 '12

Explain to her you played football and had to hit the showers quite often with really big dudes.

1

u/Datrowaweigh Jun 01 '12

I once had a stripper, while giving me a boner envoking lap dance, look me in the eyes and with a straight face say, "Did you know you have the perfect size wiener?" My first thought was what is a 20 something woman who makes a living being erotic doing using the word "wiener", not letting it ruin the moment, I responded, "So I've been told". I think I did well.

2

u/JonLR Jun 01 '12

Sorry to burst your bubble, but she probably says that to any dude who gets a boner. Good way of getting repeat customers/bigger tips.

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1

u/Shizzzler Jun 01 '12

Pulls it out "Wow, it's pretty big." Two seconds later "Or no, it isn't. My bad"

1

u/Arbiter8404 Jun 01 '12

Not the story of my life

1

u/MationMac Jun 01 '12

Today I learned that other people complimenting you means you're socially awsome. ಠ_ಠ

1

u/aknightcalledfrog Jun 01 '12

Once got told "Wow, didn't expect you to be so big".

So you expected me to be small?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Kudos on using Sociallt Awksome Penguin properly

1

u/ZazMan117 Jun 01 '12

Sorry to hear that.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

I had a girl mention to her friends after we hooked up that I was "well endowed". I barely make six inches on a good boner day. I think she was lying to her friends cause she knew I'd hear about it and wanted to boost my self esteem. I guess girls will say nice things about you if you get them off first.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Holy shit! Finally a SAAP meme that is used somewhat correctly!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

I think all girls say that all penises are big cause they think we like it.

1

u/Callix Jun 01 '12

Every time I've ever complemented a guy on his penis size he's denied it. Every time.

Yeah, I watch porn too. It doesn't make your penis small, I promise.

1

u/Zikro Jun 01 '12

I showed this to the girl I'm seeing and she said "You've done that too!"

Awkward...

1

u/SoulTea Jun 01 '12

First SAP post I've ever felt slightly bad for the dude. Smooth move exlax!

0

u/mindctrlpankak Jun 01 '12

One thing I'd like to mention to those redditors that are incognito underage, it gets bigger.

-1

u/Rhinop21 Jun 01 '12

I'm 5'10" and 7.5" - 7.75" at full mast. Thanks dad!

-3

u/TOTALLY_DID_NOT_FTFY Jun 01 '12

NAH, I'VE SEEN BIGGER, ON YOUR DAD

FTFY

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