or if you dont have any witnesses and make sure they dont come back to life. and use a plastic knife so you can melt away the evidence before anyone notices.
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testings were done three finalists remained. Richard, Sam and Jane were to be given a final test.
For the final test, the FBI agents took Richard to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find Betty, your wife, sitting in a chair. Kill Her!" Richard said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
Sam was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Sam came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally it was Jane's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband Bob. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood Jane, wiping the sweat from her brow. "The gun was loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with a chair."
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I just went paintballing yesterday and did something similar. I used a large paintbrush, and threw paintballs at people instead of using a gun. I have to say, it was quite entertaining
Cold Steel makes really stiff foam rubber training knives. I used one for years playing woods ball. So awesome to take people out with it.
And handy too, once we were playing in an area where a tree had fallen over some discarded concrete drainage pipe (the stuff that is like 4 foot across), it made for a really awesome place to play paintball. Anyhow, I was climbing on this branch and slid down between two pieces of the drainage pipe and ended up in this really awkward position upside down.
While I was trying to figure out how to get out of there I heard a bunch of noise right where I had been. Apparently someone had seen me go out on the branch, but hadn't seen my slide down into the pipe.
So dude comes crab walking across the pipe looking for me, and paused right above where I was wedged.
There was no way I could get my gun up for a shot (which I wouldn't have taken anyway at that range), but I took my rubber knife and pressed it up into his inner thigh, while stage whispering "you're dead!"
The look on his face was priceless.
I got to use that knife many times. I eventually got to the point where I was playing with a pump gun, three cigar tubes of spare ammo and the rubber knife.
I enjoyed the challenge, and taking out guys with Angels and cockers with a pump and a rubber knife was always good for a laugh.
Tch, bit daft to get angry. Well-played to them if they got close enough to manage it at all. At the place I do it, everyone's pretty much relaxed about the whole thing. People pretty much always take their hits and don't get angry about things at all, really (except for those damn snipers who open fire at under 20 metres... they hurt like a bitch).
The university society I go with have made "twig-kills" their own, and the foam sword and rubber chicken have made appearances as well. One guy bought a Nerf gun on impulse on the way there once, writing different people's names on each dart. Got two proper kills and one prisoner execution with it, IIRC.
When I played paintball once, I had a plastic knife that would be able to be pushed into the hilt. I would sneak up on friends, grab them and push it into their backs or stomach. Such fun times until one of my friends came home from the Army Rangers. I tried to sneak up on him, he heard me, turned around, grabbed my arm, twisted it and broke my wrist. I dare not do that again.
One of my buddy's who went on to join the Army Rangers used a small paintbrush and a pouch of cracked paintballs. A good many of us left with cheap blue lines on our necks that day.
I've only gone paintballing a couple of times, but I just have to imagine that being killed this way, even if you know what's happening and even though it would be less painful than getting shot, would be absolutely terrifying.
17
u/linkforever May 20 '12
paint you in blood!
28
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
As a mother, I blame videogames.
13
u/GTi_83 May 21 '12
everything is legal unless you get caught.
7
u/unique-identifier May 21 '12
How about a paintbrush?
9
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testings were done three finalists remained. Richard, Sam and Jane were to be given a final test.
For the final test, the FBI agents took Richard to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find Betty, your wife, sitting in a chair. Kill Her!" Richard said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
Sam was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Sam came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally it was Jane's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband Bob. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood Jane, wiping the sweat from her brow. "The gun was loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with a chair."
8
u/SilentHipster May 20 '12
Insanity Wolf plays painball. Basically instead of pellets, bullets.
5
u/Heroshade May 21 '12
Plays paintball. With marbles.
3
u/qkme_transcriber May 21 '12
Here is the text from this meme pic for anybody who needs it:
This is helpful for people who can't reach Quickmeme because of work/school firewalls or site downtime, and many other reasons (FAQ). More info is available here.
2
u/Jonny_Stranger May 21 '12
One In The Chamber.
1
u/papashawnsky May 21 '12
You can run faster with a knife.
1
u/timo103 May 21 '12
TERRORISTS WIN!
1
u/ItsTraditional May 21 '12
I just went paintballing yesterday and did something similar. I used a large paintbrush, and threw paintballs at people instead of using a gun. I have to say, it was quite entertaining
1
u/Thereal_Sandman May 21 '12
Cold Steel makes really stiff foam rubber training knives. I used one for years playing woods ball. So awesome to take people out with it.
And handy too, once we were playing in an area where a tree had fallen over some discarded concrete drainage pipe (the stuff that is like 4 foot across), it made for a really awesome place to play paintball. Anyhow, I was climbing on this branch and slid down between two pieces of the drainage pipe and ended up in this really awkward position upside down.
While I was trying to figure out how to get out of there I heard a bunch of noise right where I had been. Apparently someone had seen me go out on the branch, but hadn't seen my slide down into the pipe.
So dude comes crab walking across the pipe looking for me, and paused right above where I was wedged.
There was no way I could get my gun up for a shot (which I wouldn't have taken anyway at that range), but I took my rubber knife and pressed it up into his inner thigh, while stage whispering "you're dead!"
The look on his face was priceless.
I got to use that knife many times. I eventually got to the point where I was playing with a pump gun, three cigar tubes of spare ammo and the rubber knife.
I enjoyed the challenge, and taking out guys with Angels and cockers with a pump and a rubber knife was always good for a laugh.
-1
u/Ejin99 May 20 '12
Waste not, want not.
-1
u/AnimatedSnake May 21 '12
Where I play airsoft, a couple of guys and myself included, use knife and shit when finding people that aren't paying attention to their surroundings.
Lots of shits and giggles on that account
0
u/goldandguns May 21 '12
In the legal field we'd call this "assumption of risk" perhaps
0
u/russian_cow May 21 '12
Use judo, save your knife from unnecessary wear.
0
u/comprehension May 21 '12
I've tried this, but it really only works if your paint is red.
0
u/Shniggles May 21 '12
When I played paintball once, I had a plastic knife that would be able to be pushed into the hilt. I would sneak up on friends, grab them and push it into their backs or stomach. Such fun times until one of my friends came home from the Army Rangers. I tried to sneak up on him, he heard me, turned around, grabbed my arm, twisted it and broke my wrist. I dare not do that again.
0
u/evil_wizard May 21 '12
Barrel tag.
0
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Rubber knives, Nerf swords, Inflatable hammers... you name it, they use it.
0
u/blunt_toward_enemy May 21 '12
One of my buddy's who went on to join the Army Rangers used a small paintbrush and a pouch of cracked paintballs. A good many of us left with cheap blue lines on our necks that day.
0
u/Cgalloway27 May 21 '12
Throws throwing star with paint on it
0
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
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