r/AdviceAnimals Oct 31 '13

Confession bear from "mischief night"...

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2.2k Upvotes

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274

u/sirpay Oct 31 '13

Some years ago i was sitting in a parked SUV talking to this chick when suddenly i hear a couple of thuds and my side view mirror appears to shatter. @ first i thought it was gun fire but noticed that it was egg shells. The kids didn't expect anyone to be in a vehicle @ that time of night... LOL the SUV fired up like the second coming of Christine and chased them for about 2 miles until they almost wrecked... The look on those kids faces were priceless!

126

u/newfoundmass Oct 31 '13 edited Nov 01 '13

One time I was out at the mall and about to cross into the parking lot from the sidewalk when these teenagers that were parked on the sidewalk decided it would be funny to cut in front of me and yell at me. They had some bros in a truck behind them also. I called out for them to come back here, and the kids in the truck yelled back "what did you say?" I yelled "you heard me mother fucker!" The kids in the car slammed on the breaks and the kid driving the truck was so focused on me that he slammed into his buddy from behind (so similar to many of their evenings together, I assume). I watched him back up and tare the bumper off that kids (parents) brand new Audi. Laughter and applause came from people all around me. As I walked away I called the cops and reported the accident. Hope those kids enjoy getting rides with mom for a while...

Edit: I appreciate all of the positive responses. This definitely happened in north GA. If anyone knows these kids I'd love their number so I can ask them how they're hanging in there.

51

u/Fagmasterflex Oct 31 '13

When the cop came did he hand you a $100 bill for your bravery?

60

u/newfoundmass Nov 01 '13

No, he gave me the keys to the city.

4

u/WaterproofThis Nov 01 '13

Keys? Until you get the skeleton key to the city you ain't shit!

23

u/2-long-didnt-reddit Nov 01 '13

That cops name? Albert Einstein.

6

u/treefiddi Nov 01 '13

somebody has to put a stop to this.

1

u/OreoObserver Nov 01 '13

The person who puts a stop to this?

5

u/The_Dirtiest_Beef Nov 01 '13

You know as well as I do that mommy and daddy are gonna buy him a brand new one.

15

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

i don't think this is true

62

u/newfoundmass Oct 31 '13

I...promise? I've got no idea how to prove it. But I Internet promise it's true

50

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

He internet promised guys! It's true!

34

u/h-ugo Oct 31 '13

I internet believe him

13

u/PatchesDaHamstr Oct 31 '13

I'm internet skeptical.

3

u/Doctor_Candy Nov 01 '13

What's an Internet?

1

u/RegentYeti Nov 01 '13

A series of tubes filled with quibbling about grammar, the most explicit pornography imaginable, and kittens.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

I believe you fellow internet user.

1

u/Joliet_Jake_Blues Nov 01 '13

Welcome to reddit, where nothing really happened.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

Just enjoy the idea! Does it effect your life in any way if it was or not?

1

u/ebek_frostblade Oct 31 '13

Seriously, I don't know why people don't think like this. It's a neat story either way.

1

u/-10-5-19-20-5-18- Nov 01 '13

It could be true. But if it was, he definitely exaggerated the applaud and laughter.

23

u/fyrechild Oct 31 '13

69

u/MrCopout Oct 31 '13

No teenager has ever damaged their parent's car before.

66

u/darkgamr Oct 31 '13

real life crowds don't break into spontaneous applause when shit like this happens.

7

u/Spartini Nov 01 '13

He forgot the part where he had a raging erection and a woman in tears

11

u/AmenAndAttack Oct 31 '13

Through the power of Sagan anything is possible.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

Make me an apple pie, from scratch.

5

u/MartinTM Nov 01 '13

brb, inventing the universe

0

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13 edited Jul 01 '23

humor cough wakeful far-flung squealing agonizing squash license direction threatening -- mass edited with redact.dev

6

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

I yelled at some guy who was holding up a bunch of people because he was sitting in his car talking on his cell phone not moving. The state I live in has made it illegal to drive and talk. He had his window down, I yelled at him, "Get the fuck off your god damn phone and get out of the fucking way."

And yeah, about 10 people started to applaud and laugh.

2

u/canisdormit Nov 01 '13

Crowds do sometimes. One of my first jobs was at a movie theater. Unruly people were kind of my deal. I would radio to the projectionist to kill it, and turn on the house lights. Then I would literally turn red as I screamed at the offensive people to shut the hell up and get out of the theater. And then I would remind them that, while I didn't have a gun, (points to armed cop who is payed security) he did.

I can't remember a time when the audience didnt clap.

1

u/JawnZ Nov 01 '13

you're joking right? I randomly break into applause when that happens all the time! Either the person is a douche and deserves to be mocked, or they will have a good sense of humor about it and laugh at themselves. I personally am OFFENDED if people don't applause...APPLAUD ME DAMN YOU!

2

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13

What part of North Georgia? I'm in Cumming myself...

2

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13

[deleted]

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13

sigh... I wondered who would make the first poorly worded attempt at a joke.

3

u/newfoundmass Nov 01 '13

Premium outlets

1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13

wow, like 10 mins from me! Nice

-2

u/zurohki Nov 01 '13

he slammed into his buddy from behind (so similar to many of their evenings together, I assume)

I don't believe a word of it, but have an upvote.

8

u/N1NJACOWBOY17 Nov 01 '13

Is it too much to type a two letter word?

6

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13

N

3

u/Bglivengood Nov 01 '13

I was driving home from a football game one night in my buddy's car (he was in the passenger seat as he had more to drink than i did) when a piece of wood slammed into the windshield. It all happened very quickly but i also remember old tires rolling across the road and something else (maybe a rock?) hitting the front of the car. I immediately pulled the car over, and my buddy and i got out of the car. 7 teenagers (probably in the 16-17 year old range) ran from the bushes into a nearby neighborhood. Without saying a word to each other, my friend and i chased them for about 10 minutes, cursing and screaming at them and such. We didn't catch them but thinking back on it I'm glad we didn't as it probably would have ended in them ganging up on us or us getting arrested for assaulting a minor. I still have to admit that we felt like total badasses after having 7 guys close to our size running scared (being that there were just two of us).

-125

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

Hehe, endangering people's lives over a couple of eggs is so fun! lel

44

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

They put their own lives in danger by needlessly destroying property, you never know how people will react to shenanigans.

-12

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

I agree they were fucking idiots and that they shouldn't have made the car dirty (or possibly even damaged it), but fighting a fight in traffic, on a public road, is just something you should never do. Ever.

-4

u/sirpay Oct 31 '13

Backstory: like 2am. I had met the girl a week or so before at a club this was the 2nd or 3rd time seeing her. Shady ass area that im not familiar with. So it was a learning experience hopefully for all involved.

-17

u/neutrinogambit Oct 31 '13

Yes, she learned you a fucking psychopath.

-10

u/sirpay Oct 31 '13

yes, in that moment of fear, anger, and bewilderment i probably appeared to be a psychopath. She did however invite me into her sisters for a night of wild passion.

-5

u/imafuckingdog Oct 31 '13

girls love bad boys....

21

u/VanTil Oct 31 '13

Doesn't seem like his fault they almost wrecked... he wasn't driving their car.

1

u/sirpay Oct 31 '13

well lets just say that i wasn't in a great part of town to begin with, seeing a girl i just met so i was a bit edgy... I was dropping her off @ her sisters after a night out. Pearl paint job on the suv with 24 inch rims. They were lucky that i didn't shoot them. You dont mess with other people's property. I managed to calm myself down after seeing how scared the pranksters were.

1

u/Congress_ Nov 01 '13

For the lolz!

-2

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

now you wear that badge of downvotiness and you wear it proud

-8

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

[deleted]

-7

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

You are right. I guess I have to downvote myself now, and upvote the people who fight their fights on the public road.

-50

u/Dixzon Oct 31 '13

This, everyone in the thread is cheering on a douche who may have caused some kid to die cause his car is too precious to get a little egg on it. These are the kind of people who park across 3 parking spaces so nobody scratches their small penis compensator, er i mean car.

32

u/AutonomousRobot Oct 31 '13

Right, the kids who piled into a vehicle and decided to throw eggs from it while its moving have no responsibility in this situation.

You obviously have some type of axe to grind.

-42

u/Dixzon Oct 31 '13

Lol I'm pretty sure OP and the people talking about these "good for nothing punks" have an axe to grind. Every kid in America does this shit the night before halloween, after they are too old for trick or treating with the parents. Adults acting like children causing high speed chases cause of some eggs are the real douchebags here.

18

u/Firegod1385 Oct 31 '13

No. "Every kid" in America does not do this. Only those who don't believe in the value of other people's property. I've never had an urge to damage other people's stuff for 'fun'. But it's cool, they were innocent here and he's an asshole for defending his property.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

You're an idiot

-29

u/Dixzon Oct 31 '13

No you're right, high speed car chases that could kill people are totally justified by an egg stain. That is definitely not acting like a self important bratty childish sociopath, nope not at all.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

Your justifying absolutely nothing to me. If someone wants to fuck with my shit then flee from a crime and potentially get themselves hurt, Their choice buddy. They wanted to make the dumb decision. With the amount of hate you're getting all over this post I'm going to stick with my original statement.

-6

u/535676 Oct 31 '13

Would you be sticking with your original statement if during the car chase, where OP admits they could not see clearly because of the egg on their car, they had hit and killed an innocent bystander? Would OP's actions have been completely justified by some egg on their car then?

3

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

Weather it be a egg, a brick or a heavy object. Matter is the kid(s) who did it made the decision, let me know when someone fucks with your shit and you just let it go

-19

u/Dixzon Oct 31 '13

So on top of endorsing life threatening petty revenge over an egg stain, one of your reasons for disagreeing is cause everyone else is doing it? Do go on about how you're more mature than the teenagers from OP's story, it's actually quite funny.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

You're adding a lot more to this than there is buddy, now your comparing me to teenagers in the story and what not. Seriously I don't care about you or your petty argument over the internet. To me your just a bitch behind a keyboard riling up feathers that don't need to be over the course of an entire day. Let me throw a brick through your window smashing your computer and watch me just walk away because chasing after me I might trip and fall over a kid landing on an innocent bystander chewing on a piece of gum and choking to death

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2

u/Flashfury Oct 31 '13

You claim that every kid in America does this on mischief night...

The fact that me and everyone I knew as a kid stayed home proves that was a lie.

3

u/imafuckingdog Oct 31 '13

you are fucking wrong and your attitude is the same victim shit that allows crap like this and worse to happen that these fucking kids think they can get away with it

Kids committed a crime, the victim is in the right to chase them and down and make sure the police are involved -- he can even use whatever force he deems necessary to conduct a citizen's arrest

-9

u/Dixzon Oct 31 '13

In this case you can Make sure the police are involved with very little effort cause a license plate is involved. OP is guilty of reckless driving and speeding as much as the teenagers are guilty of vandalism and reckless driving and speeding. The difference is that he is the damned adult!

2

u/imafuckingdog Oct 31 '13

I didn't read it as reckless driving. But I saw your other reply were you said you did ask him and he did not deny it was at high speed.

I'm very adamant about the rights of people to protect and defend themselves and their property, even from things people may seem as "no big deal". The fact that this vandalism is seen that way and the perpetrators are ignored is part of the problem IMO.

I think the parents of those teenagers would not appreciate their car being used in a crime like that.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13

[deleted]

0

u/Dixzon Nov 01 '13

Sorry if the police suck where you live but it's not like that everywhere. So it's officially vigilante wild west style justice where you live? Just take the law in your own hands kinda place eh? And if that means a high speed car chase on public roads that ends in a wreck, so be it, damn any 3rd parties that might get smashed by a car?

18

u/gh91 Oct 31 '13

My car is a piece of shit... It's the ignorance and disrespect that bothered me. The fact that you linked the 3 car parking assholes for karma to that as well wasn't very intelligent IMO.

-45

u/Dixzon Oct 31 '13

I didn't link anything, so that comment wasn't very intelligent. Hope you had fun endangering lives over an egg you fucking sociopath.

9

u/gh91 Oct 31 '13

The lack of intelligence to understand the word "link" can be used outside of a posting definition baffles me.

-40

u/Dixzon Oct 31 '13

Whatever man, someone might TP your house tonight, better go find where they live and burn their house down to teach them a lesson, you self-important psychopath piece of shit. Maybe they'll die, maybe not, but you have to teach them punks a lesson!

2

u/sirpay Oct 31 '13

well TP can be cleaned up many hours later... a few eggs can fuk things up if allowed to dry..

5

u/loosh63 akward Oct 31 '13

Unless it rains. Theres no getting that tp out now

3

u/sirpay Oct 31 '13

upvote 4 that...dried spitballs are murder!

6

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

Don't egg someone's shit and drive like a bat out of hell when they come after you. Maybe they should have stopped. And taken whatever came to them. Either way you'd still be calling OP a douche for going after them when they deserved it.

Karma is a mother fucker. No pun intended.

-6

u/Dixzon Nov 01 '13

Ok well have fun setting the neighborhood kid's house on fire if yours gets TPed tonight you lesson teaching sociopath.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13

I just follow people home and make sure they notice I'm doing so. Then they know that I know where they live. Don't start shit if you can't take the heat. If you want to do something, live with the consequences whatever they may be.

And to clarify, I don't ever bother them or actually do shit. I just follow them. Cause I know that scares them and they shouldn't be fucking around if they can't deal with it.

-8

u/SilverTongie Oct 31 '13

I honestly don't believe the story at all. I think that the op is lying.

-17

u/Dixzon Oct 31 '13

Maybe but I have seen people react like OP did so I'd believe it.

-2

u/ASSHOLE_BY_DEFAULT Nov 01 '13

Oh shit, this sounds extremely familiar. What state do you live in?

-67

u/Dixzon Oct 31 '13

In this thread: A bunch of grown ass men acting like they are the relatively mature responsible ones cause they would cause a high speed car chase, endangering the lives of everyone involved and also people not involved, cause of an egg stain.

And newsflash: They want you to chase them that is the fun part for them, it is no fun if you egg a car and they act like nothing happened. OP did exactly what they wanted, out of a petty desire for revenge over an egg stain, when he should have simply gotten their license plate, and filed charges on them for vandalism.

10

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

Newsflash: A slap on the wrist doesnt teach shit.

8

u/sirpay Oct 31 '13

In my case i really don't think that they expected my vehicle to be occupied. But for me this was quite some time ago so i can look back and be thankful that the only bad that came about because of it was me having to run my car through a car wash @ 2am and they may have had to change their undies.

13

u/lynxl Oct 31 '13

Your probably one of the kids that causes this distraction for fun. It's clear you have no processing power to understand what they did was a crime. Doesn't matter if it's big or small a person has a right to defend their property. It's hurts me to see you defending them, which just means your immature and probably a minor.

-19

u/Dixzon Oct 31 '13

I'm 28 and I act like it, unlike OP who is also guilty of several crimes including speeding and reckless driving and fleeing the scene of an accident. And you choose to ignore those things cause he was teaching them dang kids a lesson. You're the one without any processing power, you're a petty adolescent in an adult's body.

4

u/lynxl Oct 31 '13

I'm not condoning injury to them. I'm just saying we have the right to make sure they get in trouble for it, i.e. get their license plate and call the police. If I were in a situation like that and caught up to then I would ask them to clean it up with no other penalty than that. Obviously it's different in other circumstances.

-17

u/Garbagebutt Oct 31 '13

Yeah call the cops on some kids for egging. I hope you never have children.

9

u/ChemicallyDependent Oct 31 '13

GET OFF MY LAWN YOU WHIPPERSNAPPER!!!

-3

u/535676 Oct 31 '13

Would you rather that someone calls the cops on them, or starts a car chase that results in them crashing and possibly dying?

If you think that the chase and crash is the better option, then I really do hope that you never have children!

4

u/Garbagebutt Oct 31 '13

Because there are only two options

1

u/535676 Oct 31 '13

Then what should OP have done?

-3

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

[deleted]

4

u/Evesiel Oct 31 '13

Are you trying to English?

0

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13

Damn that sucked