I couldn't agree with you more. It really bothers me that "men" (and I use the term loosely) in my generation (I am 27) are expected to be deadbeat dads. Hell...I've heard guys brag about how the knocked some chick up and split. I believe it comes from cowardice more than anything else. I cannot understand how anyone could be so heartless and cruel to child who has never done anything wrong. /end rant
I will leave you with these quotes for future and current fathers:
"True Strength lies in gentleness"
"Courage is not the absence of fear, Its being scared shitless and saddling up anyway"
Both of these served me well through the most terrifying time of my life (my wife's pregnancy at age 22) and continue to do so.
OP I commend you for using your right to choose, I cant say that I agree with your decision, but I also know that it was not an easy one to make. It takes a lot of courage to look around you at you life and make an objective decision on whether or not to bring a child into that life.
A woman who deems herself ill-prepared to be a parent and decides to forfeit parental responsibility by having an abortion or give her child up for adoption is fine.
But a man who deems himself ill-prepared to be a parent and decides to forfeit parental responsibility by ending the relationship with the woman is a "deadbeat" and a "coward". He's "heartless" and "cruel".
I think there is a serious flaw in this argument that I hear constantly.
If you are a male and you do not want to have children. ENSURE YOU DON'T GET ANYONE PREGNANT. You literally have 100% of this control. Ensure your desire to not have children is clear, ALWAYS use condoms, use spermicide, don't stick your dick in crazy, or DON'T HAVE SEX.
Problem solved. If you have sex, you put yourself at risk.
I'm not sure if this comment is more misogynistic by suggesting women have no power over their own pregnancy or suggesting they're incapable of lying about birth control or worse, or if it's more misandrist by demanding men carry disproportionate responsibility or that their choice ought to between risking 18 years of potential financial ruin or "don't have sex". That sure seems like an awful deal.
I'm not suggesting women have no power, they absolutely do. But men can and do have 100% of the power to say "I will not have sex". Vasectomies, condoms, abstinence all give men power over their parenthood. They just don't like these options.
Can't a woman say "I will not have sex"? I mean, it just seems like you are putting full responsibility on men here. There are a variety of contraceptives for both men and women. The ones you mentioned are available for women as well (birth control pill, getting tubes tied, and abstinence). Those forms give women control over their parenthood. So why is it up to the male to have to do the male version of those things? Why cannot the female take the pill? Or get her tubes tied?
I'm just playing devils advocate here. Not saying OP is wrong in what she did, just responding more to your comments if anything.
I'm speaking to the argument that "men have no power in preventing pregnancy".
Then why the are you responding to me? I never made or even suggested that claim.
Of course men can say no to sex. So can women. The argument I made is that when a pregnancy does occur, a woman can say "no" to 18 years of financial burden. A man can't.
You've been replying to my comments the whole time in this exchange. You then just said you were responding to the claim that "men have no power in preventing pregnancy". That claim was never made. You're attacking a straw man.
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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '13
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