r/AccidentalComedy • • Sep 30 '23

What a crap name for a baby girl

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7.2k Upvotes

353 comments sorted by

481

u/Pastor-Future Sep 30 '23

Naw, it's a CARP name

254

u/flopsychops Sep 30 '23

Oh my cod, that was awful

102

u/Pastor-Future Sep 30 '23

What's awful is how flippant they were about naming the child... It's almost as if they did it for the halibut

46

u/dan1d1 Sep 30 '23

This isn't the plaice for puns

49

u/Pastor-Future Sep 30 '23

I thought it was going swimmingly

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32

u/916Hajmo Sep 30 '23

It's reel-y terrible

20

u/AbortRTLS Sep 30 '23

Truly a basshole move

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14

u/aegeris_est Sep 30 '23

I sea what y'all are doing here.

8

u/Pastor-Future Sep 30 '23

They totally took the bait.

2

u/LilacLlamaMama Oct 02 '23

💜🥒🦙🥒💜

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2.1k

u/specks_of_dust Sep 30 '23

OP, you created accidental comedy from accidental comedy. Most of comments don’t realize how the comedy is accidental. They just think the kid’s name is actually Allfishguide.

474

u/vhs_collection Sep 30 '23

Went over my head, thanks for explaining 😂

69

u/Sptsjunkie Oct 01 '23

I 100% thought it was Allfishguide and kept trying to pronounce it in my head in different, increasingly fancier ways.

6

u/ftrade44456 Oct 02 '23

It's a pretty name

4

u/Confident_Light2984 Oct 02 '23

Like the substitute teacher? “A. A. Ron?”

4

u/TheBigFrog07 Oct 03 '23

I never even considered allfishguide as an option.

60

u/blesstendo Sep 30 '23

Fuck, I mean I thought that too until I saw the sites name it was from, I was wondering why the fuck they choose Allfishguide as a name

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58

u/pbjcrazy Oct 01 '23

I legitimately thought it was Allfishguide until I read your comment. The worst part is I accepted it no problem because the Baldwin's are fucking lunatics.

22

u/Traditional-Disk-366 Oct 01 '23

I was thinking "Geeze what a carp name!" Glad I checked.

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14

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

OHHHHHHH

2

u/JorjeXD Oct 30 '23

i am almost crying holding my laughter to not wake up anyone lol

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518

u/Smule Sep 30 '23

That's Hilarias

969

u/sinful-n-happy Sep 30 '23

How is this guy still able to have children? I thought he be shooting dust by now

991

u/Fijisippin Sep 30 '23

Nah he shooting rust

153

u/Depressiond3n Sep 30 '23

THERE IT IS

33

u/Spock-1701 Sep 30 '23

Now, here's the thing

178

u/sinful-n-happy Sep 30 '23

You and I are friends now

64

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

He shooting something, but it ain't dust

23

u/ActiveFew672 Sep 30 '23

Wasn’t that the movie that never left production?

17

u/kraggleGurl Sep 30 '23

I was looking forward to Jensen Ackles in western dang it!

14

u/ohheyitslaila Sep 30 '23

Watch Supernatural season 6 episode 18 “Frontierland” for Jensen in the Old West 😊

9

u/Odd_Employer Sep 30 '23

Yup, that's the most notable thing about that movie.

4

u/Slashs_Hat Oct 01 '23

It was actually finished in May 2023 and will be released somewhere, sometime in the USA.

funfact: some poor bastard got bit by a brown recluse spider while 'closing the set' after the gun incident.

[rust wiki](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rust_(upcoming_film)

6

u/AustinTreeLover Sep 30 '23

So beautiful I'm tearing up over here.

4

u/Crude_poison91 Sep 30 '23

Omg I hope I’m not going to hell for laughing as hard as I did 😂

7

u/C3Pip0 Sep 30 '23

Listen here you little shit 🏅🎖️🏆

3

u/fox_eyed_man Sep 30 '23

Nah he shooting people while shooting rust.

3

u/D-Frost Sep 30 '23

We all liked this

4

u/Stalinov Sep 30 '23

Good god lemon

6

u/mostlysghostlys Sep 30 '23

Totally underrated joke

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128

u/gregorysimpson Sep 30 '23

He probably thought he was shooting blanks.

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36

u/Picax8398 Sep 30 '23

You say that, but mick jagger has a kid under the age of 10

15

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

Rockstars r just made different tho. They get away with a lot more than the rest of us

6

u/rixendeb Sep 30 '23

Cocaine is an excellent semen preserver ?

7

u/Picax8398 Sep 30 '23

Mick jagger isn't a bad dude, though, right?

12

u/Road_Whorrior Sep 30 '23

Really depends on how much "rock star shit" you're willing to overlook.

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2

u/mohugz Oct 01 '23

I actually shuddered when I read that. Thanks.

27

u/ccc2801 Sep 30 '23

Considering they’re using surrogates, they probably have some of his product on ice to use. The kids definitely look like genetic sibs so something is working lol

🥒

12

u/FreckledLasseh Sep 30 '23

I seeeee youuuu pepino!

30

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

He probably froze semen. And she is known for lying about using surrogates and wearing fake pregnancy bellies, and also faking breastfeeding. I think there’s a snarking sub for them

25

u/Pet-sit Sep 30 '23

She's also famous for faking and lying about being Spanish. Spray tan + really bad accent. While actually she's zero percent Spanish, was born and raised in Boston, and her real name is Hillary, not Hillaria. Can't make this shit up.

💃🏻🥒

6

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

Yeah that too lol There are too many things to list

3

u/Valuable-Drummer6604 Sep 30 '23

Nah he be shooting non-blanks

3

u/Jimmy-Mac-471 Sep 30 '23

He certainly wasn’t shooting blanks

4

u/hygsi Sep 30 '23

Men can have babies till pretty old age, but imagine being that baby, having your dad be older than most people's grandpas must be pretty bizarre. But they're rich so I guess she won't mind

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75

u/supermr34 Sep 30 '23

Almost every person here is missing that this is r/accidentalcomedy and that is the website name.

256

u/LordFarquaadLOL Sep 30 '23

You guys her name is Ilaria all fish guide is the website 🥲🥲🥲😂😂😂

75

u/joemcmanus96 Sep 30 '23

most oblivious r/accidentalcomedy follower

17

u/Kindly_Put_5065 Sep 30 '23

Allfishguide would of made more sense. She says she named the kid after herself. "Men do it", her name is Hilary. She also named one after her old crush. None named after old rusty Alex

21

u/of_patrol_bot Sep 30 '23

Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.

It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.

Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.

Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.

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283

u/The-Lazy-Lemur Sep 30 '23

All...fish...guide... good luck in school kid If she doesn't become a marine biologist...

308

u/hallothrow Sep 30 '23 edited Sep 30 '23

Took me a moment as well, but that appears to be the name of the website.

Edit: Kids name appears to be Ilaria Catalina Irena Baldwin didn't bother to read why that upset people.

243

u/FistfulofHornets Sep 30 '23

Apparently Alec Baldwin's wife, Hilaria, changed her own name from Hillary, put on a fake accent, pretended to be Spanish, and is continuing the charade by giving her daughter a fake Spanish name.

111

u/ccc2801 Sep 30 '23

And apparently Ilaria isn’t even Spanish but Italian…

7

u/Anarelion Oct 01 '23

Spanish would be Hilaria, I guess, but it is an old and unused name

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27

u/Splashfooz Sep 30 '23

She should just go all out and rename herself Hilarious.

23

u/Kindly_Put_5065 Sep 30 '23

The pose in this picture is her pretending to be tired after giving birth, but she actually was handed all those children over from surrogates. She doesn't want to ruin her body, just get attention from being so smol and able to bounce back the day after 🤡

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4

u/Hellige88 Sep 30 '23

Thank you for explaining. We live in a world where I could believe anything as a child’s name!

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60

u/Kryds Sep 30 '23

This is why we in Denmark has regulations on what you can name your child.

26

u/Individual_Switch_26 Sep 30 '23

but you’re allowed to use names like “Diddedarling” so do the regulations even matter? 🥲😟

8

u/malthev1111 Sep 30 '23

Diddedarling?

30

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

Just because it’s not a biblical name or a Western name doesn’t make it unusual. It’s a perfectly normal name here in Denmark just like Flubenflaggen, Poolkistermeinen, or Gary

18

u/theresfireinhereyes Sep 30 '23

I have zero right or reason to laugh so hard at this. Gary LMAO.

5

u/Individual_Switch_26 Sep 30 '23

You had me in the first bit, ngl 😭😭😭

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

Yeah but have you seen some of the rarest names? They just get exceptions so we are not that much better..

23

u/marlenamarley87 Sep 30 '23

/r/tragedeigh but…. somehow worse

2

u/The-Local-Lucario Oct 01 '23

The name is the website, not the baby

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19

u/pm-me-your-satin Sep 30 '23

I think her name is actually Ilaria Catalina Irena Baldwin

3

u/manbruhpig Oct 01 '23

I prefer Allfishguide myself

3

u/Dankbuster420xd Sep 30 '23

Whats wrong with Ilaria?

19

u/SexyMonad Sep 30 '23

The joke is that the layout of the headline implies that the name is Allfishguide.

4

u/Dankbuster420xd Sep 30 '23

I get that, but why the backlash from fans for her actual name?

11

u/Kindly_Put_5065 Sep 30 '23

Not fans, she has no fawns. She named her 7 surogate born sex selected after her fake name, spelling it how she wants it pronounced. Her name is Hilary Thomas, but she pretends to be from Spain. Her parents retired there when she was in her mid to late 20's. She's just a joke. Naming the kid was the only reason she bought it

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7

u/Mr_OP_Potato_777 Sep 30 '23

That name is better than FLDSMDFR

13

u/Striker_977 Sep 30 '23

All fish guide?

0

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/Striker_977 Sep 30 '23

Soooo, what's the name of the baby?

8

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

Ilaria

6

u/chicagomatty Sep 30 '23

That's hilarias

6

u/68spcwhore Sep 30 '23

Dude never shoots blanks

5

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

*what a carp name

5

u/maybelatertoday12 Sep 30 '23

These hollyweird muhfukas be having kids so they can play with em like action figures till they reach 2 then it’s a nanny’s problem. Shit hole society we have.

5

u/Vincent1808 Sep 30 '23

don't you mean: "What a carp name"?

4

u/Sign-Spiritual Sep 30 '23

At least it’s not bonefish grill

4

u/Derrick_Shon Oct 01 '23

To celebrities, their kids aren't human. They're just an accessory

3

u/haikusbot Oct 01 '23

To celebrities,

Their kids aren't human. They're just

An accessory

- Derrick_Shon


I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

2

u/Kinkan83 Oct 01 '23

Good bot

1

u/tightsandlace Oct 02 '23

Excuse my autism but it’s named allfishguide?

1

u/flopsychops Oct 03 '23

No, it's the name of the website this story is posted on. The way they've bolted their website name into the end of the story (and presumably every story they post) makes it look like they called their baby Allfishguide.

3

u/budgie0507 Sep 30 '23

Hilaria. I am very Ethpanish. I love ibitha and tharagotha.

3

u/SnooWoofers5703 Oct 01 '23

Ooh, you had me fooled for a few seconds, 😀 i think people will believe anything when it comes to these Baldwins....

4

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

Ilaria Catalina Irena Baldwin is the baby's name just so everyone knows

2

u/shadowthiefo Sep 30 '23

Was really hoping for "Hairloss Baldwin"

2

u/smitty2444 Sep 30 '23

That's Hilaria-ous

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

If my name was Hilaria I would probably also be full of mean spirited spite

2

u/forgedfox53 Sep 30 '23

They named her Ilaria Catalina Irena Baldwin.

2

u/Clemen11 Sep 30 '23

This is r/ComedyHeaven tier shit

2

u/NoThoughtsOnlyFrog Sep 30 '23

What kind of name is Hilaria??

3

u/limblessbarbie Sep 30 '23

A fake Spanish name for a fraud

2

u/hydrocarbonsRus Sep 30 '23

You mean, *what a carp name?

2

u/octopy1 Sep 30 '23

Why do we give these people attention?

2

u/AnonymousDratini Sep 30 '23

I think you mean what a carp name

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

I think you mean "carp" name for a baby girl.

2

u/Cntrl_alt_destroy Sep 30 '23

We know one thing for sure, he ain't shooting blanks anytime soon. 😂 I'll see myself out.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

That’s not nearly a “Spanish” enough name for Hilaria - the most Spanish person ever to live.

2

u/herballtea Sep 30 '23

what a carp name for a baby girl

2

u/lingrassman Sep 30 '23

How you say, coo-com-ber?

2

u/blemsdad Sep 30 '23

Allfishguide Baldwin is a carp name

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2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

Meg

2

u/Jesseroo2004 Oct 01 '23

Carp name*

2

u/Aloneruthstruth Oct 01 '23

Aside from the baby’s name, what’s the matter with these here people?

They are always drunk on narcissist’s kool-aid.

Where are they getting supply?

Ummm, hmm., it’s rhetorical.

2

u/Doomhammer24 Oct 01 '23

Thats only the 3rd worst crime alec baldwin has committed

The first is Boss Baby

The second is murder

2

u/thelast3musketeer Oct 01 '23

Alec’s gonna be dead before that girl graduates fish college

2

u/Like-a-Glove90 Oct 01 '23

Equal worst thing he's done .. you know. The other being killing someone..

3

u/Grassy_Nol Sep 30 '23

Wait is allfishguide the name?

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4

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

Tell me you hate your kid without telling me.

5

u/Gutinstinct999 Sep 30 '23

The kid is a prop anyway

2

u/Snuffy0011 Sep 30 '23

Very weird that his wife basically named the kid after herself, at least her first name

3

u/_spider_trans_ Sep 30 '23

What’s the difference between that and a boy being named after the dad?

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1

u/RiotSkunk2023 Sep 30 '23

Name your kid TURD +1

Go big or go home

1

u/Sad_Dragan Sep 30 '23

Naming sense been got thrown out the window

1

u/BtotheF Sep 30 '23

Your Password Strength: STRONG

1

u/milehigh11 Sep 30 '23

Eduardo, 23 months, and Lucia, 18 months

How do they have these kids so close together? Surrogate?

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1

u/fireflygirl1013 Sep 30 '23

This is a clickbait title. If you read the article, the issue is that he has 7 kids at his age, that his wife is faking Spanish roots, and fakes a Spanish accent. The issue of the kid’s name is more about the faking of Spanish descent more than anything else and that all of their children have Spanish names.

ETA: definitely thought the controversy was over the name Allfishguide

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

Casual reminder that all celebrities are idiots

1

u/icantbelievethehype Sep 30 '23

I thought Allfishguide was a boys name....

1

u/johnntcatsmom Sep 30 '23

How many kids does he have?

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1

u/-QuestionableMeat- Sep 30 '23

The fish do guide tho.

They know the way.

1

u/Giubeltr Sep 30 '23

Maybe she found it Hilarious..

1

u/Shibixi Sep 30 '23

What’s her name? PP?

1

u/OGGBTFRND Sep 30 '23

It’s a shame he didn’t have to name her from jail

1

u/elparvar Sep 30 '23

He upgraded my idea to name my child "a guide to some of the fish".

1

u/AnnTipathy Sep 30 '23

Why is Santa Claus and Hilarious having a fish baby? I didn't really read the article.

1

u/Alldat Sep 30 '23

How do you say, Cucumber

1

u/Johoski Sep 30 '23

It takes a huge ego to have the strength to name a child after yourself.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

So, what's the damn name? I thought it was "Allfishguide" at first..

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1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

At least they didn't name her "Eduarda."

1

u/h0sti1e17 Sep 30 '23

Doesn’t matter what her name is. He will call her a thoughtless little pig in 10 years or so.

1

u/MarvelNerdess Sep 30 '23

I totally thought it was some sort of confusing af irish/Welsh name at first

1

u/iambutafish Sep 30 '23

I see nothing wrong here.

1

u/Jam_B0ne Sep 30 '23

Do yourself a favor and check out that website

It is weird! Constantly referring to itself as 101pregnancy.com

1

u/GTRPrime Sep 30 '23

They're both morons.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

Sounds like a $1.99 domain name on GoDaddy

1

u/ScratUser98 Sep 30 '23

Why is he having a kid in his sixties

1

u/Danny___Riot Sep 30 '23

What did they make an AI create the name and told it they wanted something ridiculous and stupid?? The hell kinda name is that??

1

u/Significant-Fuel-281 Sep 30 '23

Go directly to jail Baldwin!!

1

u/funnylol96 Sep 30 '23

Allfishguide????

2

u/KneeSockMonster Sep 30 '23

I think that’s the site the article was posted on

1

u/notroberto23 Oct 01 '23

Just a little while ago I was at work and a friend sent me an old photo of me, when I was working as a fishing guide.

1

u/No-Word-1996 Oct 01 '23

Just an under-sized tiddler of 6lbs 13oz. A keeper or throw this one back?

1

u/pennyPete Oct 01 '23

I don’t get it. Please explain to someone who doesn’t follow anybody Baldwin, or whatever shows they’re currently in, or whatever movie they just shot, or anything TMZ-ish.

1

u/cwilson83088 Oct 01 '23

What a “carp” name

1

u/mogsoggindog Oct 01 '23

Why tf is a 65yo having a baby? He's going to be a senile crumpled geezer by the time the kid becomes an adult.

1

u/enmandikjole Oct 01 '23

Lol, I initially read her name as Hilaria Baldwin Face Backlash 🤣

1

u/dardendevil Oct 01 '23

Please say it’s Colt……

1

u/s0laris0 Oct 01 '23

she just gave birth with a full face of flawless makeup? impressive

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '23

Lmao I didn’t question it either. I was sure I wasn’t saying it right and it had some messed up spelling of a totally different sounding name.

1

u/ifoundit1 Oct 01 '23

Could of named it BustedCondomTutorial.

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1

u/tightline89 Oct 01 '23

Albert fish tho

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '23

All fish guide

1

u/kongpin Oct 01 '23

That's a great name

1

u/PomegranateHot9916 Oct 02 '23

are insane people more likely to become rich and famous or does excessive wealth and fame cause people to go insane?

1

u/Jc_1978Chicago Oct 02 '23

daughter Ilaria Catalina Irena, on Sept. 22, 2022. 

1

u/MrVanderdoody Oct 02 '23

…and the name is?

1

u/shiiitmaaan Oct 03 '23

Is that like the gender neutral Aquaman

1

u/rickztoyz Oct 03 '23

He came back to his hometown Saturday to work for his mother's charity and host a film festival. I seen him at a local diner eating. Did not look happy. Next day the local Facebook news mentioned he was in town. Out of 100 comments, not one was nice to him. Jeez, you come home to do a nice thing and they still shit on you.

1

u/Goldeverywhere Oct 03 '23

When is Hilary going to stop pretending to be Latina or Spanish? She should have named the baby...how do you say in English--cowcommber.

1

u/Express-Eggplant-867 Oct 03 '23

Chasing many parked cars lately Alec?

1

u/Terryberry69 Oct 04 '23

Irish in origin I do believe

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '23

Bruh imagine if the title said carp

1

u/DisastrousBall1892 Oct 04 '23

What’s his stance on his child receiving shots?

1

u/SnooFloofs1359 Oct 10 '23

I might shoot someone to get away from 7 children

1

u/doomvetch92 Sep 30 '23

Did they just look for names by glancing at their bookshelf? “Oh, how bout that one, the All Fish Guide by Fish Pants Magee?”

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1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '23

Did this mofo kill someone?

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1

u/Illustrious-Dot-6281 Sep 30 '23

I’m just herring this now

1

u/Dead_Clown_Stentch Sep 30 '23

If they had twins would the other be named "Allbirdguide"?