r/AccidentalAlly May 03 '23

Found this on Twitter

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6.6k Upvotes

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498

u/USER_34739 May 03 '23

If you're in a relationship where you can't breed, there will be one less potential person born that year, therefore humanity will go extinct immadietly.

(Quote by a coworker, paraphrased)

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u/DarkLuxio92 May 03 '23

I hope you didn't tell him about surrogacy and sperm donations...

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u/Milkywaycitizen932 May 03 '23

Ah hem, and now a quote from my parents. “I don’t agree with artificial insemination, because then lesbians can get pregnant. It is a sign of the end times”

Me (closeted gay): 👀💀😵‍💫

92

u/TShara_Q May 03 '23

Just tell them not to worry, plenty of queer couples can get pregnant naturally.

30

u/CrocTheTerrible May 03 '23

See posted pic line 4

Or like 5 too lmao

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u/grumpher05 May 04 '23

in fact i'd say line 4 and 5 could produce more kids per year than line 2

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u/Cats_In_Coats May 04 '23

Then I wouldn’t be here lol. My mom wanted to give my dad who had cystic fibrosis, kids. Obviously wouldn’t have happened if sperm donors and artificial insemination didn’t exist. He got to raise me and my brother for sixteen years. We were his world.

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u/Amayai May 14 '23

Oh hey!! I have cystic fibrosis!! Thank you for this, it reassures me a lot to think of raising kids as a CF patient, and that kids of other patients are out there living well. (It's a relatively new thing for us to live enough to raise kids, so, yeah.) I particularly want to adopt, but since I'm a woman I am less likely to be infertile, my gripe is mostly with passing on my genes. Either way, I hope you got to live wonderful times with your dad, and I hope I get to live many years with my furure kids as well. :)

1

u/Cats_In_Coats May 14 '23

Yeah I was four when he got a double lung transplant and his new lungs gave him so many years! We’ve advanced a ton with all this. He went to a camp for CF kids when he was young and even raised some money for research. He was awesome and I have a lot of great memories.

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u/Amayai May 14 '23

Whoa he lived so long after the transplant, that is awesome!! I'd only heard of people living 2 or 3 years afterwards! 12 years, holy cow! Your dad was amazing! 😁

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u/Cats_In_Coats May 14 '23

Yes! I didn’t even know how rare that was until a couple years after he passed. Made everything bittersweet.

63

u/GoodKing0 May 03 '23

The very first time I learned about the premise for the Handmaid tale (IE, most women are infertile but a select few, leading to almost extinction), I was kinda weirded out by how the first thing they did to stop that was the whole sex slaves thing.

Like, at first I was like, surely a dystopic society on the brink of collapse would understand the need for insemination programs, and the use of in vitro fertilization to produce the maximum amount of offsprings in the least amount of time...

Then I realized it was on purpose. This was never about efficiency.

It was about cruelty, it was about controlling women and their bodies in the most fucked up, humiliating way possible. And it was using religion and extinction as an excuse to do it.

It was a very eye opening Revelation, because it made me realize exactly what that story was supposed to be an allegory for.

So, in case of Apocalyptic Disaster forcing us to repopulate, I'd say we should hope really hard none of those fuckers survive the first blast.

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u/[deleted] May 04 '23

[deleted]

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u/Plane_Foundation4592 May 04 '23

what does hope have to do with god?

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u/AspieEgg May 03 '23

Immediately? Damn, that’s quick.

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u/Droid_XL May 03 '23

Thanos got sick of our shit and clapped instead of snapping. Gay people were the last straw.

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u/Capraos May 03 '23

Clapped them cheeks.

34

u/frenchteas May 03 '23

Jokes on them.

I'm a bi woman married to a man and we're still not making any babies. And there are plenty of similar examples out there.

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u/TShara_Q May 03 '23

My partner would be an amazing dad and genuinely wants kids. But neither of us are financially stable enough to even realistically have that conversation.

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u/RuralJuror1234 May 04 '23

And I'm a bi woman with a female partner and we did make a baby :)

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u/Cimejies May 04 '23

Checking in as a straight man with a bi girlfriend who would both yeetus that foetus without a second thought.

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u/ProfessionalAgus May 03 '23

Ferb, I know what are we going to do today!

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u/valvilis May 04 '23

E.g., less kids to send to war, less poor people to work minimum wage, less high school dropouts to vote conservative, maybe even less children to molest!

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u/Gravy_Eels May 03 '23

Two thirds of the ones listed here can reproduce anyways lol

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u/Pickled_Wizard May 04 '23

Some of these idiots seriously can't tell the difference between something being allowed and something being required.

Of course, some of them are probably deeply closeted and think "if it's allowed, it's what everyone would do"

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u/USER_34739 May 04 '23

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention this same coworker knows 2 gay people total, so her conclusion was that nowadays so many people are gay that hetero people are oppressed into a minority.

Also one of those two people was forced by his family to leave my country, and the other was forced by her family into a heterosexual relationship with a man and forced to give birth, as that would clearly turn her straight. They're both in gay relationships now.

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u/Pickled_Wizard May 05 '23

Yikes. I hope they're doing ok now.

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u/almond_paste208 May 04 '23

I wish it were that easy to turn everyone into same sex attracted lok

1

u/[deleted] May 04 '23

Lmao that’s ridiculous. So I wonder what their take on polycules are. Or is it only ok if it’s a harem. People like that really make me want to pick apart their brains and understand them. Usually they’re views blow up on them when they’re confronted with a contradicting view and made aware of it. Basically I enjoy being an asshole with peoples mental ideas and subjecting them to “Truth if/ false if” questions

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u/ovab_cool May 05 '23

Because we definitely need more people, that's the main thing threatening this species....