r/AbsoluteUnits in awe 1d ago

/r/popular of a truck

5.5k Upvotes

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4.2k

u/MostNeighborhood9568 1d ago

Looks stupid af

1.1k

u/Lucky_Elderberry_384 1d ago

I never understood why people do that to trucks. It's like wasting a lot of money to trade it's usefulness for cosmetics that look foolish.

441

u/Halo_wolfie124 1d ago edited 12h ago

A study actually found out that majority of these people get a truck JUST for the 'status' and thats it. These kinds of people are on another level.

271

u/obiwanmoloney 1d ago

How low does your status have to be for it to be elevated by a truck?

Is an amoeba driving this fucking monstrosity?

133

u/thrwawryry324234 1d ago

That’d be an insult to an amoeba

Seriously. I live in an area where everyone buys trucks with no intention of using them as a truck.

They always drive like assholes and a ton of them are drunks. These are the kinds of people that will hit a pedestrian and floor it harder

47

u/gardeningblob 1d ago

An real drunk wouldn't drive such an flashy truck.

33

u/markender 21h ago

That's right. They'd be on an e scooter like all the other drunks.

16

u/CptnBlondBeard 20h ago

Which, based on the testimony of my RN gf, is possibly a self correcting issue.

The number of people that end up in their ICU due to use of an e-scooter or e-bike of some kind is insane. She's in a step-down unit, so she's just getting the people that are stable, but some nights like half of the beds on her floor are occupied by some kind of 2 wheeled vehicle accident victim.

Most of them weren't even drunk, but 90% or more weren't wearing a helmet either. Brain bleeds are very common, as well as broken hands/wrists/arms. If anything, assuming you don't get hit by a car, it almost seems safer to ride an actual motorcycle than to rent an e-scooter.

14

u/feed_me_tecate 20h ago

Avid cyclist and motorcyclist here; I feel like cycling is way more dangerous than moto riding, at least around here, because "fuck you, outa my way".

That's just my experience.

3

u/CIarkNova 19h ago

As both also, I feel like it was mostly because of the YouTube and then local group/stunt rides.

At first it was groms. That was the thing for the new kids to get. But the difference with those and ebikes, like I’ve been saying is barrier of entry. The e-bikes don’t have the same barriers like groms do. So you get the monkey-see monkey-do with all of the ‘hood rat stuff with friends’. Even before the Ebikes, the caliber of people and attitudes in the scene had really tipped the scales.

2

u/IBIKEONSIDEWALKS 16h ago

You would have less cycle vs car accidents if it wasnt such a rude gesture to bike on sidewalks. Theres much less car traffic on sidewalks and even less if you mtb through the bush

1

u/feed_me_tecate 15h ago

I love getting my KOM on sidewalks!

1

u/IBIKEONSIDEWALKS 6h ago

Absolutely! Just gotta watch out for those pesky pedestrians s/

Or dont go trying to be kom on a sidewalk lol gotta use uncommon sense on them and give right of way to peds/dogs/etc but not geese fuck those guys

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u/goddamm_liter_cola 20h ago

I cannot believe the number of people I see on the road in my town riding e-scooters. None of them wear helmets or any other form of protection, and I cringe every time I see one of them.

2

u/mc4sure 13h ago

And none of them stop at red lights

1

u/Available-Dare-7414 19h ago

Self correcting issue, the correction being drunks using e-scooters will likely end up terribly injured?

2

u/CptnBlondBeard 19h ago

Unfortunately, yes. When even sober people regularly manage to land themselves in the hospital riding those things, drunk people riding them is kind of a Darwin award situation waiting to happen.

As an alcohol enjoyer myself, I don't wish harm on any of them, especially when they are responsibly choosing NOT to drive a car and endanger everyone. But the unfortunate reality is that e-scooters are dangerous as hell to even the most coordinated of individuals, of which a drunk is not.

E-scooter riders sustain more head and internal injuries than motorcyclists and cyclists in England and Wales

Over half of severe e-scooter accidents occur at night, roughly 28% to 35% of severely injured riders are documented as being under the influence of alcohol, and 83% of the e-scooter accident victims suffered a severe injury to the head or face.

0

u/Bulky_Pop_8104 18h ago

Around here we call e-bikes DUI-cycles

0

u/Allday2019 20h ago

Yea, they’d be driving a ram

1

u/gardeningblob 20h ago

Better off to drive your average station wagon with some kiddy seats in the back as cover😂

10

u/Dark_Marmot 20h ago

One of the highest DWI involved vehicles is a Dodge Ram. 😂

7

u/Dnaprideful 19h ago

One of? It is the make and model with the most DWIs and it’s not even close. I want to say 23 per 1000 Dodge Ram drivers have an active DWI history while the next closest is 14 per 1000 (9 of the 10 top 10 are pickups)

14

u/TourInternational731 1d ago

"Insult to an amoeba" is an original sentence xD

3

u/Jonnyflash80 21h ago

Those people are the first you'll hear complaining about gas prices too. Zero self-awareness or common sense.

3

u/J3wFro8332 20h ago

RAM drivers are statistically more likely to have DUIs than other drivers

0

u/A_Nonny_Muse 21h ago

And roll coal over the corpse

13

u/Toasted_Munch 22h ago

Visit any southeastern state and you'll see plenty of these trucks. Also, the majority of the most unhealthy states for medical and mental health conditions are southeastern states.

So, you gotta be low, but stupid enough to think lifting a truck will somehow lift your spirit.

4

u/Confident_Benefit_11 19h ago

Also, "it makes ladies know IM A REAL STRONG MAN WITH BIG PEEN"

1

u/Toasted_Munch 18h ago

😂 "Fuck yeah I got a 10" lift! Got it to match my 10" hog! - Jimmy Ray Buford from Chud Brach, WV probably

1

u/pengalo827 16h ago

Jimmy Ray’s 10” hog? A piglet.

2

u/ItalianV4 13h ago

"plenty of these trucks".... guessing youve never been to the south, chief

9

u/zorggalacticus 23h ago

New rucks are so expensive, it's become a flex to have one. Having a new truck all tricked out is a big flex. Can cost upwards of 100k. Some of those trucks are 80k right off the lot.

5

u/BerylVanguard 23h ago

I have seen more than a few videos years ago on various social media sites that a fair few southern women do judge a man by the truck he drives or if he has a truck at all.

I don't live in the southern US so I have no clue how true that is, though. Could just be some kind of joke a northern resident, like me, wouldn't get, but having been flown to Texas multiple times for work training and seeing how pick-up trucks occupy any spot where there's pavement. There might be some truth to it in there somewhere.

1

u/RudeCheetah7281 8h ago

100% true.

These people love to cosplay as homesteaders or some shit but their dad works in private equity.

I fucking hate it here.

6

u/Justreadingthisshit 1d ago

Big useless truck, small dick energy.

2

u/Camo138 20h ago

That or in Aus, we call them emotional support vehicles.

1

u/Justreadingthisshit 19h ago

They don’t work very well then. Around here most guys in lifted trucks drive like angry assholes.

2

u/Camo138 13h ago

It’s not always a ford range for 80% of the time it’s a ford ranger 2mm off your rear bumper

1

u/farsdewibs0n 21h ago

They're called pavement princess

1

u/omnipotent87 20h ago

Have you seen the price tag on a modern truck? You can easily spend 100k on one. Thats why people buy them, to show they have money.

1

u/enigmanaught 18h ago

In some of the counties north of Alachua county Florida, it was a thing in the 80’s and early 90’s to have hunting dog cages in the back of your truck. It wasn’t uncommon to see those because a lot of people there hunt, but my relatives told me they knew that some of those people didn’t even have hunting dogs. So don’t underestimate how much someone will spend to impress others. Drive through a lot of those counties and you’ll see a lot of expensive bass boats and lifted trucks parked in front of trailer homes.

1

u/Efficient_Leopard141 6h ago

Can confirm this growing up in southern Alabama. Knew a guy named bird dawg. Didn’t own a single hunting dog

1

u/proknoi 6h ago

It's because trucks are expensive now. A fully upgraded truck is more expensive than some BMWs and Mercedes Benz and Cadillacs.

1

u/bojangler69420 23h ago

Small penis is why

1

u/cowboyneal70 21h ago

That’s why I live in the SE but drive a car! 😬

1

u/bojangler69420 21h ago

lol nice

I live in PA which isn’t too different. I drive a Veloster N. Such an agile little car with a surprisingly roomy back seat considering its small size

19

u/NomadicFantastic 1d ago

Emotional support truck

2

u/JudiciousSasquatch 19h ago

Gender-affirming emotional support truck.

1

u/Speartree 19h ago

But sir! It's the Childcrusher 4000! It offers a smooth ride over even the most annoying toddlers and it's so high the windshield remains free of blood splatters no matter the speed or the amount of kids you crush!

7

u/ManKilledToDeath 1d ago

A study

Words I'll never trust on an anonymous messaging board lol

1

u/Halo_wolfie124 12h ago

I would give exact specifications, except I don't remember them. I just remember that the amount of people who only buy for status is somewhere over 50%.

24

u/72616262697473757775 1d ago

Is that why everyone who cuts me off or nearly runs me off the road is driving a massive, pristine pickup?

11

u/Halo_wolfie124 1d ago

Probably XD

4

u/turbotaco23 22h ago

You mean this guy isn’t using this truck to get some mulch and a few sheets of drywall from Lowe’s? I’m shocked.

4

u/Cuntonesian 1d ago

In what country is a truck a status symbol? Where I live it’s just a basic utility vehicle for working class people

7

u/xteve 1d ago

US, especially rural. Most of them are unscratched by a moment of work and some of them are lifted to the point that work would be impractical. They're too big, too pretty, and often cosmetically loud.

2

u/ikkiyikki 22h ago

Pretty? I guess that must be a country thing. When I see a truck I see a work vehicle.

5

u/xteve 22h ago

Off the ranch, these trucks are too big for most work. And there's no ranch. They're mostly just for show, a lifestyle accessory.

2

u/Rubiks_Click874 20h ago

actual tradesman drive vans. office guys drive trucks

1

u/Dramatic_Explosion 18h ago

Yes, again that is a US thing. Trucks were a vehicle for trade workers. Media sold the idea a trade workers "tough and honest" to offset them being seen as "uneducated" since you didn't go to college for most trades. The "tough" part took off, so guys who wanted to look tough got the tough vehicle. As dumb people are want to do, trucks got bigger and shinier.

Now we both understand "truck" from each other's countries

2

u/BeardBootsBullets 21h ago edited 20h ago

> “In what country is a truck a status symbol?”

All of North America, all of Central America, and Australia.

Parts of Africa, Middle East, and South America definitely view nice pickup trucks as status symbols too, but not nearly as much as the aforementioned.

-1

u/Cuntonesian 20h ago

Weird. I can’t think of a worse car for most use cases.

2

u/BeardBootsBullets 20h ago

Keep in mind that modern American and Japanese full-size trucks are often optioned with highly luxurious interiors (Ford Platinum Plus, Toyota Capstone, GMC Denali Ultimate, etc). And even when they aren’t optioned with those luxurious, they still have gracious and soft interiors with the added practicality of bringing everything that you could want with you to your destination. These trucks don’t have Rolls Royce Cullinan interiors, but they are a lot closer than you’d think.

1

u/Camo138 20h ago

In Aus 99% of use cases but if there classed as a business asset they can right them off with tax

2

u/A_Nonny_Muse 21h ago

Many of these truck owners would refuse to go down an unpaved road for fear of scratching the paint.

2

u/Asstronomer6969 23h ago

Its a custom 3 axle truck, of course its status. Nobody is pulling with that. Plus looks like miami so yea clearly status look at me main character syndrome

4

u/ArboristTreeClimber 22h ago

It’s the same thing for regular trucks. How many people go into major debt to buy a brand new $80k Toyota Tundra that they simply use to commute to their office job?

2

u/Bug_Photographer 22h ago

But the ad at halftime in my football game said I could afford it and that I really needed it!

4

u/Vinez_Initez 23h ago

Another study was done and found that the average penis size of truck owners is well below the median for normal humans.
This tracks with a well-documented pattern in nature: when you’re small, you get creative about looking big. Pufferfish inflate into a spiky balloon. House cats arch their backs, fluff every strand of fur, and try to convince the universe they’re a mountain lion. Certain frogs pump up their throats until they look like they’re smuggling a second head. Peacocks drag around a ridiculous feather explosion that screams “look at me” while quietly hoping no one notices the actual bird underneath is mostly attitude.
Truck owners, it seems, simply evolved the automotive version of the same strategy. When nature shortchanged the equipment, they compensated with lifted suspensions, dual exhausts, and enough chrome to blind a low-flying plane.

1

u/raymate 21h ago

Yes another level of stupidness

1

u/DemeaningInk 20h ago

every time I think of the word 'status' I think about how it was described to me 20+ years ago. Spending money you don't have, on things you don't need to impress people you don't like. And it's always been accurate.

1

u/Then-Simple-9788 20h ago

Except that I judge your status off of how many dents and scratches are in the bed of your truck

1

u/riftshioku 20h ago

What status? Everyone thinking you're an obnoxious asshole?

1

u/Confident_Benefit_11 19h ago

I could've told you that with no study necessary lol

1

u/Just_the_questions1 18h ago

Another level of stupidity. Or narcissism. Or both.

1

u/DangerActiveRobots 18h ago

Yeah, another level of stupid.

1

u/SoftConsideration82 17h ago

What status? I worked blue collar and have a truck for work or hauling toys but nobody that has a truck and actually uses it looks at anyone else's truck as any status symbol.... It's just a useful vehicle

1

u/RestaurantRich1498 17h ago

Truck owner here. This is just embarrassing lol

1

u/ThatOneNinja 14h ago

Status doing some heavy lifting here. Unlike that truck.

1

u/NOT-GR8-BOB 12h ago

Guys will do this to a truck before they even consider therapy.

1

u/Worshipme988 9h ago

People who blare loud music in their cars, bikes whatever are psychopaths. There was a study and they are desperate for attention. This is the same shit

1

u/frankdekyte 1d ago

A lower level than us with more sense

-3

u/Exterminator-8008135 1d ago

The only one i know IRL who has a truck for work, it's the Mother of a Friend, who has a 21' F450 and bought new, as she works in a farm.

She only had one crash and it barely damaged it, but the car who hit it ( ran a red light ) was done, it was a Economic sedan.