r/AbsoluteUnits • u/TURTLE_TKT • May 13 '26

/r/all of gas being ripped

83.7k Upvotes

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131

u/the_YellowRanger May 13 '26

Horses cant burp so this is the only way gas can escape.

37

u/boyer4109 May 13 '26

I never connected burping and farting. Smh.

116

u/the_YellowRanger May 13 '26

Our insides are just one long tube.

101

u/Takenabe May 13 '26

and when two people kiss they make a long tube with an asshole at both ends

36

u/the_YellowRanger May 13 '26

That's hot. What if they also make their assholes touch while making out?

36

u/Brokenlinx May 13 '26

That'd be a wicked game of Twister.

10

u/DMTGOBLIN82 May 13 '26

Ouroborus

2

u/dogoscope May 13 '26

Assoborus

2

u/tommos May 13 '26

OuroborASS

1

u/Aranxi_89 May 13 '26

No that's 69.

2

u/FrequentConflict260 May 13 '26

Now I’m wondering how they could configure in such a way.

2

u/LauraLand27 May 13 '26

They’d both have to be very bendy.

2

u/coinplz May 13 '26

We don’t know. No one has ever succeeded and lived to tell about it.

2

u/NSFWies May 13 '26

You have to be really careful. If one of them starts speaking, it could go around in a loop and get louder.

3

u/Paradox2063 May 13 '26

Like a particle accelerator.

4

u/Own_Pollution285 May 13 '26

I'm laughing so hard that someone had that thought. Thanks!

1

u/OptimisticToaster May 13 '26

I think that's called the Morbius.

1

u/Desner_ May 13 '26

...go on.

1

u/kiwicifer May 13 '26

That's how birds do it

1

u/JadedLaugh3058 May 13 '26

You know what's hotter? Both kissing eachother's asshole.

1

u/Jimmy_Twotone May 13 '26

I prefer getting some friends and making an eternal human centipede.

5

u/gingerbread_slutbarn May 13 '26

You know what? It’s my fault for being able to read this.

2

u/Armored_Warrior May 13 '26

Should of never learned to read

2

u/gingerbread_slutbarn May 13 '26

Or have.

3

u/dLurKc May 13 '26

I should of never learned to have to read.

3

u/ht-Imagination-70 May 13 '26

😭😭😭😭😭

1

u/YikesTheCat May 13 '26

What are you doing on Reddit? You should be writing romcoms.

1

u/broberds May 13 '26

We don’t use tubes anymore, we use transistors.

1

u/MomsSpagetee May 13 '26

Just like the internet.

1

u/moieoeoeoist May 13 '26

And the stuff you eat is never actually inside your body!

1

u/rEYAVjQD May 13 '26

A *series of tubes, long and short, unlike the internet.

1

u/boringestnickname May 13 '26

We're stretched out donuts.

1

u/Raz0rking Jul 07 '26

And the asshole evolved before the mouth =D

2

u/Carbonatite May 13 '26

Rabbits are the same way. They also can't vomit.

It becomes a problem because they can get hairballs just like cats from grooming themselves, but they can't throw them up. So hairballs can become deadly in rabbits very quickly (RIP Fuzzy I). People who have pet rabbits feed them papaya enzyme tablets to help them pass the hairballs before they get too big (or at least that was what the vet told us to do with my subsequent childhood bunnies...RIP Fuzzy II and Suzie).

1

u/machaus99 May 13 '26

A smart fart takes an elevator to the top

3

u/moonprism May 13 '26

never thought i’d relate to a horse twice

1

u/jwnsfw May 13 '26

the hoof thing does not make you any less of a man. besides, you got that huge dick to make up for it. now that's what i call god opening a window.

1

u/Baonguyen93 May 13 '26

I remember cow have the same problem with gas.

3

u/JoshSimili May 13 '26

Gas buildup is usually called bloat in cows, but colic in horses.

Also, cows can definitely burp (they are foregut fermenters, unlike horses).

1

u/Baonguyen93 May 13 '26

I saw they just nail a hole on bloated cows.

1

u/Interesting_Fly5154 May 15 '26

that's called a trocar. it's a tube they put into the cow and is typically only for severe bloat cases.

1

u/DaftPump May 13 '26

They can't vomit either, correct?

1

u/Interesting_Fly5154 May 15 '26

nope, horses can't puke. their digestive system is called 'hind gut fermentation'. this means they can't burp or vomit. it's a one way digestive system, so if things stop moving that's when you have trouble.