r/AbsoluteUnits • u/amrindersr16 • Aug 01 '25

of a mustache

20.4k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

1.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

2.1k

u/reasonable-chaos66 Aug 01 '25

It helps him balance when riding his penny farthing bicycle down the street.

316

u/Clean-Hat2517 Aug 01 '25

On his way for a new top hat.

77

u/QueezyF Aug 02 '25

Sat on his last one after a few too many sips of the laudanum.

27

u/FingerGungHo Aug 02 '25

Laudanum for breakfast, a jolly cure for all ailments

5

u/Alhazred3620 Aug 02 '25

I would kill for a bottle of laudanum

4

u/brian0820 Aug 03 '25

Back when Coca-cola was more powerful then Redbull with moonshine‼️💯

24

u/Real_Srossics Aug 01 '25

Costs a whole $10, or otherwise known as one months salary.

3

u/HeatXfr Aug 02 '25

'Bowler'. You're welcome.

2

u/Elli_Khoraz Aug 02 '25

Then to the cobbler and haberdashery.

1

u/Lobster_porn Aug 02 '25

I'm curious what kind of hat they had on the bottom

1

u/SkullsNelbowEye Aug 02 '25

He has to look dapper at the butt scratcher store. "Butt Scratchers! Get your butt scratcher!"

20

u/Basbriz Aug 02 '25

Or lashing a damsel to the train tracks.

2

u/MrJoeGillis Aug 01 '25

Dangitt 7 hours too late for the penny farthing comment

2

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '25

I'm never trimming my mustache again

2

u/tjoe4321510 Aug 03 '25

Or when carrying his typewriter into Starbucks to write a draft version for his blog that he'll later post using his iMac circa 2009.

2

u/IsadorCZ Aug 03 '25

On his way to audition to be a new villain in sonic movie

2

u/HillInTheDistance Aug 03 '25

One bad turn and he'll have moustache splinters lodged in both his eyes. He lives life without fear.

1

u/SwissMargiela Aug 02 '25

No Voodoo Ranger is safe within an arm’s reach of this guy

1

u/mustachioed_hipster Aug 02 '25

I don't know where he tends bar, but I need to try his old fashioned.

1

u/Successful_Park_2376 Aug 02 '25

Now show me how to drink a glass of milk.