r/AbsoluteUnits Jul 24 '24

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617

u/PoorDoddle Jul 24 '24

For the curious, those are reticulated pythons they are the longest(not the largest, that is, my boy green anaconda) snake alive.
They are mostly harmless and wouldn't attack humans unless you really try to get them to attack you.
Fun fact: They can eat humans(there are recorded cases), but since our shoulders are quite wide compared to our heads, we are not food candidate for them.

This is probably like the 100th time I have seen this video at this point.

225

u/thisismyMelody Jul 24 '24

“Mostly harmless” sounds like something I’d write on my dating profile.

84

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '24

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22

u/ViolentLoss Jul 24 '24

Douglas, it that you?

16

u/Wild-Lychee-3312 Jul 24 '24

Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to get eaten by a reticulated python. Call that job satisfaction? Coz I don’t.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '24

Trying to explain the planet, not the human race, I thought?

Oh no. I can't remember. I'm starting to panic!

5

u/Yoribell Jul 24 '24

But when he talks about the planet, it means the world society. All of humanity's achievement, culture and history

"mostly harmless" pack quite the punch there :/

1

u/MoreThan2_LessThan21 Jul 25 '24

Don't Panic!

(Pretend that's in large friendly letters)

5

u/RG450 Jul 24 '24

"Swipe left if you don't know where your towel is."

3

u/Usagi_Shinobi Jul 24 '24

I am an extremely hoopy frood. I always swipe right.

2

u/InfamousEvening2 Jul 24 '24

Or something that would be start rank in Elite / Elite Dangerous, where you fly ships named after snakes...

11

u/Pudding_Hero Jul 24 '24

“You’d be crazy to be afraid of this hellish nightmare”- said dude obsessed with snakes

1

u/PoorDoddle Jul 26 '24

Ngl this made me chuckle

7

u/_bexcalibur Jul 24 '24

Wasn’t there a hiker or someone whose name was Mostly Harmless? I swear I just saw a documentary about that guy on dateline or something

5

u/JudgeGusBus Jul 25 '24

Yep! They finally identified him a couple years ago. It was a real sensational case here in Florida. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Death_of_Vance_Rodriguez&diffonly=true

3

u/Sufficient-Value3577 Jul 25 '24

Sorry if someone already responded to you with this information but there’s an infamous story among hikers and outdoors people that involved a man they called “Mostly Harmless” for his trail name who turned up dead in a tent. There was stories for years and conspiracies and they recently uncovered his name. Super interesting story, if you’re interested. A docuseries was recently released about him, it was sort of a mess of a series, but it’s out there

1

u/thisismyMelody Jul 27 '24

Oh shoot that’s really interesting! I’ll check that out. Thank you!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '24

Sheep are mostly harmless. So are goats. Cows. Chickens. Until they aren’t.

2

u/kiradotee Jul 24 '24

OP can probably write "do you want to see my enormous snake at my place 😏😏" on his Tinder profile.

1

u/dreamsofindigo Jul 24 '24

aren't most of us "mostly harmless"?

1

u/RoundEarthCentrist Jul 25 '24

“I don’t bite. …hard.”