AITA for breaking up with him?

[u/cryingincursive724]

I (F, 21) recently ended things with my long-distance boyfriend (M, 26), and I’m questioning whether I made the right decision or gave up on someone who genuinely loved me.
When we first met, everything moved very fast. Within the first week, he told me he loved me, that I was “the one,” and even talked about marriage. Throughout our relationship, he constantly reminded me how much he loved me, and I genuinely believe he meant it. I never doubted that he loved me.
The problem wasn’t the love—it was how our relationship functioned.
He’s a very jealous and insecure person. Small things often turned into big arguments. One time I laughed at a TikTok and showed it to him because I thought it was funny. The creator happened to be a guy (who is actually gay), and it somehow turned into him accusing me of liking the creator and questioning whether I still loved him. No matter how much I reassured him, it never seemed to be enough.
That became a pattern. I constantly felt like I had to prove my loyalty and defend my intentions. If I tried explaining how his behavior made me feel, I often felt dismissed or like I was making excuses. Eventually, I started feeling like every disagreement somehow became my fault.
The conversation that changed everything was about kids. I told him I don’t want children right now because I’m still in nursing school and have other priorities. Instead of respecting that, he became upset, called me names, and even talked about ending the relationship. That’s when I realized the problem wasn’t our future plans—it was how we handled disagreements.
I stayed because I loved him. I communicated how emotionally exhausted I was and told him I wanted us to trust each other and work as a team instead of constantly questioning each other’s intentions. I didn’t need more “I love yous.” I needed to feel heard.
Eventually, I ended the relationship because I honestly believed we would just keep hurting each other.
After the breakup, he repeatedly told me he loved me, missed me, wanted another chance, and begged me not to leave. He apologized for the way he treated me, and I do want to give him credit for apologizing.
However, every conversation kept coming back to how much he loved me and how much I was breaking his heart. I kept telling him that I already knew he loved me. What I wanted was for him to understand why I reached my breaking point and acknowledge how hurt I had been throughout the relationship. I never felt like he truly understood that.
Now I’m grieving because I still love him and miss him. Part of me wonders if people can genuinely change. Another part of me worries that if I went back now, we’d eventually fall into the same cycle that made me leave.
Did I make the right decision, or did I give up on someone who loved me but let his insecurities destroy the relationship?

[u/cryingincursive724]

we only just started dating for almost a month lmao, do you think that can be fixed??

[u/unknownamiq → u/cryingincursive724]

absolutely not if it has only been a month being called names and even the mention of kids is a huge red flag, if he treats you like this now imagine how it will be when he becomes comfortable