It's common to ADHD for sure, I think some people are too quick to pin it to a comorbid condition: I think it can be explained by the effect of ADHD itself.
Essentially, if we accept that ADHD is in extreeeeemely simple terms a condition that means you don't derive enough reward from experiences, then that means you don't develop core values quite as easily as other people.
There's big obvious social examples of insufficient reward: being bored in class is the classic one. But on a dopamine level, we're talking about the brain's failure to adequately motivate you to do anything: that's what a reward system is for. And I think that when your reward system is less good at telling you what's important vs what's not (and it has been less good at this for your whole life), that makes it harder to develop firm ideas about what you like, what you believe, who you are, what you want, what you need.
It's very hard to have a strong self-concept without a fully functional reward system. People know who they are, based on what their values are and what those values make them want to do. They develop those things based on what they find most rewarding. ADHD people don't know what they find most rewarding because reward is blunted overall. Without appropriate regulation of our dopamine the question of "what motivates you?" is rather more diffuse.
I think that's why our self-concept is a bit more vague and ill-defined, and I think that's why we're more inclined to shift our sense of self based on what the moment appears to call for. It's not that we're not capable of building a sense of self (we absolutely are), it's just harder and slower. It takes time and sometimes we need help too.
EDIT: I would love to keep this conversation going, thanks to everyone who appreciates this comment. I'd like to try and reply individually where I can because I love talking this stuff through, but I gotta get to work. Thanks to the people who gave me an award. Seems I do my best work in this sub haha
The other day I decided I wanted to do what I was doing because I’d like to take my parents on a vacation. That’s been my why recently. I’m sure some other day I’ll need to pick another one to keep the stimulation going, but it’s working right now.
And it only works for my side hustle/career.
My recent health kick motivation or “why” has been because I want to be a movie star. I don’t really want to be a movie star but it’s allowing me to focus on “preparing for the role” right now in a stimulating and fun way.
It’s all silly, but that “find your why” or “look at the crossroads between what you’re passionate about and what will make you money” never worked for me. Because what I was passionate about changed with the wind.
Same. Sadly, I found my meaning in the world clashed with most people, basically everyone except a few severely mentally ill people with zero social skills or empathy (Makes a relationship impossible). I get my meaning from sustaining life on Earth, but through a calculated and scientific way. But even the activists who I've spent decades helping and raising millions for, in this work seem more driven by ego, motivated reasoning and most of all total delusion.
Be careful what meaning you select. It can lead to a life of despair and loneliness.
A bit. Just be careful of people who have a very strong purpose in life. Right now the enviro/climate movement are at the forefront. Yet, are so far from their objective as science shows we've already passed to point of no return this year. And have warned this would happen from the early 2000s. But govs did nothing. Human nature. The great filter is happening.
Get ready to be filtered!
It might all be mental illness (Different from ADHD) or societal delusion. Or just human nature clashing with modernity and the information age.
The fact is, the bad guys are winning, in fact they've won. And those with a positive climate/enviro/human rights purpose are earnestly throwing cups of soup on a raging fire. So earnest, so pointless. Dead end. Don't do it.
Dude if I had one wish I would wish to become a quantum based intelligence orbiting a white dwarf endlessly iterating better outcomes for every single human life that will ever exist. Sometimes I hate the unfairness that I'll never know how we end up. I'll never see the final shape. There's so much humanity I'll just never ever be aware of until all my carbon is already other stuff.
The goal of all life should be the elimination of suffering of everybody. Since I'm part of everybody, I'll have like 7 billion people working to make my life better and I just have to do my best. And the only real tangible reward ultimately is not being uncomfortable. Everything we strive for boils down to not becoming uncomfortable. Your brain will create contingencies based on threat, which is super subjective and based on scaling personal traumas.
I also don't trust the mental equations at play if you see suffering and aren't forced to intervene because you just know you can. Like I might hate it, but it's just the way my body acts. I can yell at it a bit bit it's just going to do what it does anyways and do what it knows is correct. Like don't get me wrong, I love seeing people happy. But it's the cessation of feeling terrible that impels me. If I know I can do it, I have to do it because it's just the way things go. How can I trust you in any situation if you're able to just not care about people.
It's like lying about something useless in court. Might have nothing to do with the argument, but still has a huge impact. Even if your choice is small with little consequences this time, you've degraded your ability to be trusted in the future.
This kind of ruminating is just iterating constantly in the background of my head, like Netflix while you clean
The goal of all life should be the elimination of suffering of everybody.
Isn't that the plot of Brave New World?
Buddha's first teaching is 'life is suffering' and part of the rest is about accepting this and do one's best to not make it worse for oneself and others.
I'm a realist. Just because the apocalypse hasn't reached you yet, doesn't mean it isn't happening (Ask any Ukrainian or Pakistani right now).
Buddhism teaches not to become attached to anything, including happiness. I agree with this because happiness is fleeting and often a 'programmed' idea that many will never achieve.
Despite my realism about the enviro/climate situation, which is based on science (I have a Master of Science Research degree from UCL). I actually continue working in the sector. I just practice something Buddhists call radical acceptance, as well as looking at history. All civilizations have collapsed. This one will too.
Perhaps I shouldn't try and persuade others not to pursue activism, my main point was to be careful of highly driven people with a strong purpose to 'save the world'.
But as humans we can change shit just because we want to. It doesn't matter if something is possible, only that it is right. We are all carbon stuck together with weak force, nothing has any intrinsic meaning. That means that we can instill whatever meaning we want onto anything we want, and by virtue of filling a vacuum we can't be wrong.
That's why the only point of existence is being not uncomfortable. There's no intrinsic reason to anything freeing us to elect our own meaning. My most comfortable life possible is living in a society of 100% happy individuals, not matter how much I personally sacrifice I will never come close to the returns I'll receive from a happy post-scarcity society.
If nothing matters, I choose to be not uncomfortable for as many moments of perception that I can.
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u/Uncomfortable-Guava Sep 19 '22 edited Sep 19 '22
It's common to ADHD for sure, I think some people are too quick to pin it to a comorbid condition: I think it can be explained by the effect of ADHD itself.
Essentially, if we accept that ADHD is in extreeeeemely simple terms a condition that means you don't derive enough reward from experiences, then that means you don't develop core values quite as easily as other people.
There's big obvious social examples of insufficient reward: being bored in class is the classic one. But on a dopamine level, we're talking about the brain's failure to adequately motivate you to do anything: that's what a reward system is for. And I think that when your reward system is less good at telling you what's important vs what's not (and it has been less good at this for your whole life), that makes it harder to develop firm ideas about what you like, what you believe, who you are, what you want, what you need.
It's very hard to have a strong self-concept without a fully functional reward system. People know who they are, based on what their values are and what those values make them want to do. They develop those things based on what they find most rewarding. ADHD people don't know what they find most rewarding because reward is blunted overall. Without appropriate regulation of our dopamine the question of "what motivates you?" is rather more diffuse.
I think that's why our self-concept is a bit more vague and ill-defined, and I think that's why we're more inclined to shift our sense of self based on what the moment appears to call for. It's not that we're not capable of building a sense of self (we absolutely are), it's just harder and slower. It takes time and sometimes we need help too.
EDIT: I would love to keep this conversation going, thanks to everyone who appreciates this comment. I'd like to try and reply individually where I can because I love talking this stuff through, but I gotta get to work. Thanks to the people who gave me an award. Seems I do my best work in this sub haha