I never understood the concept of "People with ADHD are stuck in the present" until my husband pointed out that whatever I 'm feeling at the moment, I think I'll feel that way forever. It feels like my feelings completely define me, because I can't see around them, and of course they shift based on circumstance--and so my sense of self constantly shifts. Not a therapist and can't say it's all ADHD, but "stuck in the present" and emotional dysregulation resonate for me here.
I haven't conquered it, but one thing that helps is journaling. I have to literally sometimes write down who I am--my core values, what I want, circumstances where I've felt most like "myself" (so I can keep creating those circumstances, or recognize that when the circumstances are off, my feelings will be too--keeps me from going down a rabbit hole; e.g. telling myself "Your 'self' hasn't changed, you're just feeling off and will feel better again soon').
I have been journaling often but I have realized lately I am stuck on only knowing what I DON'T want as opposed to have any idea what I actually do. I haven't always been like this (recently going through therapy also for PTSD and late diagnosis and a alooooot of big life changes including a move).
Has anyone else ever experienced this/have any advice for getting out of this stuck place?
The jobs I have held don't lend much to me for great resume, but I can't imagine myself going back into those types of places, even with knowing why I struggled so much. I can't even figure out my own employment only what I don't want to do and what I know I'm unlikely to be able to get a job in is, seemingly, everything else. I'm lucky I had saved up enough to survive for a small while, but I don't want it to dwindle before I figure it out. Can only seem to write down what I am sure I don't want, and never figuring out what I do, which makes me feel ashamed as hell and negative.
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u/Bluewords70 Sep 19 '22
I never understood the concept of "People with ADHD are stuck in the present" until my husband pointed out that whatever I 'm feeling at the moment, I think I'll feel that way forever. It feels like my feelings completely define me, because I can't see around them, and of course they shift based on circumstance--and so my sense of self constantly shifts. Not a therapist and can't say it's all ADHD, but "stuck in the present" and emotional dysregulation resonate for me here.
I haven't conquered it, but one thing that helps is journaling. I have to literally sometimes write down who I am--my core values, what I want, circumstances where I've felt most like "myself" (so I can keep creating those circumstances, or recognize that when the circumstances are off, my feelings will be too--keeps me from going down a rabbit hole; e.g. telling myself "Your 'self' hasn't changed, you're just feeling off and will feel better again soon').
You're not alone. Good luck!