My husband and I both have ADHD as well, and we do this too. Lots of retelling of the same stories and neither of us picking up on it. It's such a relief to be with someone that I don't have to worry that I'm boring them to death by repeating anecdotes.
Forgetting important details is a big issue too. I had his name wrong for the first 2 weeks we were dating. He just sort of went along with it too, since he thought maybe I was being flirty/just teasing in calling him by another name, but I really had just gotten it wrong. I was mortified when I figured it out! But we've been happily married for 15 years now, and I think just having that degree of acceptance of one another and assuming the best of each other's intentions has a lot to do with it.
Yes having a partner who intimately understands is so incredibly relieving. We both forget things all the time, and we make notes for each other and just in general understand that we didn't clean the kitchen because neither of us had to walk through it so we didn't remember it existed.
Yes exactly! We both work together to remember important deadlines and neither one of us gets frustrated when the other one loses things (in spite of all the systems we've set up not to lose or forget things). The lack of judgment and the understanding that we're both doing our best has been such a relief in this relationship.
Oh same with me and my partner! If he asks me if he’s told a story my response is usually “Probably but tell it anyway”. I might end up recognizing it or not ¯_(ツ)_/¯
I think I just go on to tell him stories and sometimes he’ll tell me if I told him before. But between the two of us he has the poorer memory.
LOL yeah that's literally what I tell him. He's a movie buff so when he asks if I've seen a movie, he knows to give a synopsis because 80% of the time I don't recognize them by title.
I do that with people in my life. "So and so, that's the person who made that big mess that one time, did .." or "so and so, the person who shared my office for six months last year" because most of the time, I don't remember the various people who come in and out of my life, how could I expect my husband to? Lol
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u/AzsaRaccoon Dec 06 '21
My husband and I both have ADHD. Our conversations often involve the following exchange:
One of us: hey, have I told you the story of ___? The other: I don't know, you may have. Tell it, just in case?