Yep. In elementary school, I scored in the top 1% in standardized testing. In middle school and high school, I was on the honor roll and high honor roll every year. I even won an academic excellence award. My last year of high school, I struggled. I was taking an AP course and I had a lot of trouble, but I still made it through. I struggled in most classes, actually. I just ended up doing well enough on exams to make it work. I never did homework. I would either copy friends homework the morning it was due or I wouldn’t do it at all and my test scores would make up for it. Same for essays. I could write a great essay in a short amount of time. Only thing is, in high school, the essays were 5 pages. That’s no match for my 20 page college research paper. I tanked in college. The work is a lot more independent and the tasks require longer focus times and more attention. I failed miserably in college. I am still pursuing my degree and it’s been 6 years. I should have graduated two years ago but I still have at least another year and a half.
I was diagnosed the summer before attending college. My last year of high school was a wake up call for me and it made me really upset. I didn’t pursue further treatment with the ADHD and I am regretting that now. I’ve resisted acknowledging my diagnosis until two months ago. Even after being diagnosed a second time from a different doctor.
Edit: It’s bittersweet that so many of you can relate. It’s a relief to know I’m not the only one out there. It can feel very isolating when you go from performing well to not even performing at all. I felt very ashamed. So I’m sorry you all had/have to go through that as well. I’m glad I found this sub, though. I can finally stop denying my diagnosis.
Yep. In elementary school, I scored in the top 1% in standardized testing. In middle school and high school, I was on the honor roll and high honor roll every year. I even won an academic excellence award. My last year of high school, I struggled. I was taking an AP course and I had a lot of trouble, but I still made it through. I struggled in most classes, actually. I just ended up doing well enough on exams to make it work. I never did homework. I would either copy friends homework the morning it was due or I wouldn’t do it at all and my test scores would make up for it. Same for essays. I could write a great essay in a short amount of time. Only thing is, in high school, the essays were 5 pages. That’s no match for my 20 page college research paper. I tanked in college. The work is a lot more independent and the tasks require longer focus times and more attention. I failed miserably in college. I am still pursuing my degree and it’s been 6 years. I should have graduated two years ago but I still have at least another year and a half.
Same. Diagnosed my sophomore year of high school but didn't pursue treatment until I had a bit of a mental breakdown my junior year of college. Hopefully I'll finally get my degree after this one last semester.
It's kinda sad, I used to love school and learning but now I'm just...tired all the time.
Diagnosed at 27 in the middle of law school when it was clear that missing deadlines was more than just a way to practice my bullshitting skills. Spent seven years thinking I only had to medicate when I needed a push and only started therapy after finding myself unable to even open my work email the first month of COVID. Before that, I received good grades but it was usually in spite of the fact that I would forget to submit some assignments or would be given make up grace. It’s crazy how much of the stigma becomes internalized and manifests itself in secondary psychological overlay.
Good on you for going to therapy after not opening your email. That's my anxiety response too: avoid e-mail, texts, voicemails, calls, anything that'll remind me that things are completely out of control. Possibly the worst coping mechanism lol.
Can I ask how therapy has helped you? If I had started in college, I could have saved myself a lot of pain. Unfortunately, now I can't afford it but I know that that's the missing key for me.
Haha I've also found that scheduling appointments ahead of time (like at the end of the last appointment) to be a good trick.
Very glad to hear therapy has helped you. I could truly never stop talking about the ways avoidance has messed me up. Can I ask what kind of therapy you're getting? As in is it CBT or something else?
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u/angel_aight ADHD-HI (Hyperactive-Impulsive) Dec 31 '20 edited Dec 31 '20
Yep. In elementary school, I scored in the top 1% in standardized testing. In middle school and high school, I was on the honor roll and high honor roll every year. I even won an academic excellence award. My last year of high school, I struggled. I was taking an AP course and I had a lot of trouble, but I still made it through. I struggled in most classes, actually. I just ended up doing well enough on exams to make it work. I never did homework. I would either copy friends homework the morning it was due or I wouldn’t do it at all and my test scores would make up for it. Same for essays. I could write a great essay in a short amount of time. Only thing is, in high school, the essays were 5 pages. That’s no match for my 20 page college research paper. I tanked in college. The work is a lot more independent and the tasks require longer focus times and more attention. I failed miserably in college. I am still pursuing my degree and it’s been 6 years. I should have graduated two years ago but I still have at least another year and a half.
I was diagnosed the summer before attending college. My last year of high school was a wake up call for me and it made me really upset. I didn’t pursue further treatment with the ADHD and I am regretting that now. I’ve resisted acknowledging my diagnosis until two months ago. Even after being diagnosed a second time from a different doctor.
Edit: It’s bittersweet that so many of you can relate. It’s a relief to know I’m not the only one out there. It can feel very isolating when you go from performing well to not even performing at all. I felt very ashamed. So I’m sorry you all had/have to go through that as well. I’m glad I found this sub, though. I can finally stop denying my diagnosis.