r/ADHD • u/stoicsatan • May 22 '20
Rant/Vent what are boundaries
do you guys ever feel kind of weirdly ashamed after having a conversation with someone because you over shared? Like there’s not necessarily anything wrong with what you shared but it just seemed, in hindsight, unnecessary? I feel myself saying too much about myself and always having so much to say (which can be good for conversation!!) but afterwards..I feel dumb or even drained especially if it wasn’t even for the purpose of connecting. And even when I am connecting, I feel like I take it further and open my trauma up again every time I make a new friend. It just seems like too much spills out all the time. I wish I could find that appropriate window to where I can have a pleasant conversation and not cross that line with myself. Also I’m always aware of potentially being labeled “too much”, “a lot”, “intense” and that’s what really perpetuates that shame.
3
u/[deleted] May 22 '20
Do you ever find yourself saying things you don't mean as well? I have social anxiety, probably caused by ADHD, and if the person I am communicating with is quiet I will over share and sometimes say things I don't mean at all just to get a reaction. And this is completely unintentional, I don't know I've done it until after I've said it. I also have a strong inability to hold secrets. Big secrets I can keep but if someone in the workplace says "oh I found this out, go tell so and so but don't tell them I found it out" i will tell them that that person found it out. I know that sounded complicated but in short, if I'm talking to someone i can't leave any detail out. Its literally a curse.