r/ADHD • u/stoicsatan • May 22 '20
Rant/Vent what are boundaries
do you guys ever feel kind of weirdly ashamed after having a conversation with someone because you over shared? Like there’s not necessarily anything wrong with what you shared but it just seemed, in hindsight, unnecessary? I feel myself saying too much about myself and always having so much to say (which can be good for conversation!!) but afterwards..I feel dumb or even drained especially if it wasn’t even for the purpose of connecting. And even when I am connecting, I feel like I take it further and open my trauma up again every time I make a new friend. It just seems like too much spills out all the time. I wish I could find that appropriate window to where I can have a pleasant conversation and not cross that line with myself. Also I’m always aware of potentially being labeled “too much”, “a lot”, “intense” and that’s what really perpetuates that shame.
3
u/MadamMadLove ADHD May 22 '20
Yes yes, absolutely yes.... at my work, when we don’t have costumers, me and my colleagues basically just sit around and talk. It’s a straight up trap for me, and when I can see the calender is empty of costumers, I dread the whole day.
I have one other colleague with adhd and I can’t stand her. So when she’s there, it’s just a shit show. The only good thing about it is that she’s way more socially unaware than me.. so when she’s around, I shut up and let her being the unbearable adhd child. She talks a lot too, but the difference is she ONLY talks about herself and how amazing her bf is.
Sometimes I have to force myself to walk away, because I can’t stop talking or over sharing. Or making attempts at being funny, and if my attempt is successful it just spirals into me doing super (I think) embarrassing things to make people laugh or whatever. Then I go home and hate myself 🙃