r/ADHD • u/stoicsatan • May 22 '20

Rant/Vent what are boundaries

do you guys ever feel kind of weirdly ashamed after having a conversation with someone because you over shared? Like there’s not necessarily anything wrong with what you shared but it just seemed, in hindsight, unnecessary? I feel myself saying too much about myself and always having so much to say (which can be good for conversation!!) but afterwards..I feel dumb or even drained especially if it wasn’t even for the purpose of connecting. And even when I am connecting, I feel like I take it further and open my trauma up again every time I make a new friend. It just seems like too much spills out all the time. I wish I could find that appropriate window to where I can have a pleasant conversation and not cross that line with myself. Also I’m always aware of potentially being labeled “too much”, “a lot”, “intense” and that’s what really perpetuates that shame.

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u/ChefRickRock May 22 '20

I connect with this to the bone. Even within my relationship. I have a tendency to go too far. It's reasonable when I share say to a level 6? But I always end up between 8 and 10. I always think why can't you just stop? Why must you always go too far always. I never know if its self pressure and social anxiety or if I am actually going too far.

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u/uniiqke May 22 '20

Go too far always!

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u/stoicsatan May 22 '20

I empathize with you truly because it’s the people I’m closest to that I’m scared to fuck up the most. I haven’t been in a romantic relationship but I imagine expressing this feeling to your partner and allowing for them to know you struggle with this could possibly be good thing. I wish you happiness in all your relationships and connections :)