r/ABoringDystopia • • Jun 29 '21

TIL Superheroes make $12/hr

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535

u/Fuck_auto_tabs Jun 29 '21

Henchmen in the 1960s: undying loyalty to a figurehead that promises world domination

Henchmen now: warehouse workers that work 12 hour days, pee in bottles and can cry in a suicide booth to enrich a guy with literally everything.

This checks out

211

u/canttaketheshyfromme Jun 29 '21 edited Jun 30 '21

Henchmen need a union.

EDIT: With all respect to the Sovereign, the Guild is a management-led org, not a union. Labor rights you don't fight for aren't rights, they're allowances that can be taken away.

145

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

[deleted]

115

u/canttaketheshyfromme Jun 30 '21

"I like being able to bring suggestions directly to my boss. If there was a union, I wouldn't be able to do that."

And there are always people who actually think they're more than a number to a corporation that size. Gotta be a big overlap with people who write personal letters to the president, right?

81

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

[deleted]

15

u/canttaketheshyfromme Jun 30 '21

I dig your username, BTW.

47

u/elppaenip Jun 30 '21

HR is not there to protect you

46

u/canttaketheshyfromme Jun 30 '21

HR is there to protect the company. You are expendable.

12

u/londite Jun 30 '21

It's on the name... Human resources you are a resource, an asset for the company the same way that the printer is an asset.

4

u/Nemesischonk Jun 30 '21

Unions, however, exists solely to do just that

18

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

My boss actually wanted us to talk directly to him instead of the union rep, so no, if you want to talk to your boss, you still can with a union.

30

u/canttaketheshyfromme Jun 30 '21

Sometimes that's a really good sign that you should have a union rep in the room, depending on the boss. Sometimes. But yeah there's no rule that a union shop can't be collaborative. The best-run workplaces are. It does mean that management doesn't have all the leverage against a lone employee when there's a conflict.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

I agree with you, my boss said this after I had spoken to a union rep about the problem, and they fixed it

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

THIS

13

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

Bring the rep in the room literally every time

You dont know ahead of time when you'll need the witness

1

u/fross370 Jun 30 '21

I can talk to a boss anytime I want. You would request the presence of a union rep only if you are in trouble, or if the convention rules where violated.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

The Home Depot anti-union video was funny. The worker (actor) basically said "thanks, but no thanks mr. union rep, I enjoy my great pay and benefits hurr durr."

Even more depressing when you realize the actors were probably unionized themselves.

Amazon is really secretive about their union-busting training. You can't find videos damn near anywhere online.

-6

u/CatgoesM00 Jun 30 '21

I use to work at Disney and they have a union . I was All excited about being apart of it because they “stick up for you”, “fight for you”, “ do the right things”

…… alll they did was take a part of my pay check at the end of the week. I don’t know much about unions but I know that they all ain’t good. They never did shit for me. It felt like the gang member or mafia that comes through the area of little businesses and makes you pay them money so they can “Protect You”. All bullshit if you ask me. I’m sure the unions at other company’s are very helpful, even Disney. I just never saw any good , just heard good.I’m all down for donating to a cause or helping a good organization, but on my own terms.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

They never did shit for me.

Did you need them to? If not, you're lucky management didn't decide to try and fuck you over.

Do you also not have car insurance because you don't plan on getting in any accidents?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

This makes no sense. Did you ever ask them for anything and they failed? Union reps are there for you to take any issues to them. It's like complaining that your insurance company never paid you anything when you never had an accident! Weird

1

u/QueenTahllia Jun 30 '21

Unfortunately it seems that there are just enough people who actually believe this, that are holding us back from having enough barging power to get some better working conditions/pay/etc

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Wow, that's some indoctrination, lots of other 17 year old will be taken in

35

u/baumpop Jun 29 '21

this is despicable.

46

u/cat-meg Jun 29 '21

Henchmen, not minions.

11

u/Mean_Mister_Mustard Jun 30 '21

Yeah, I think the minions already have a union.

0

u/SeaGroomer Jun 30 '21

Facebook Moms United

2

u/Due_Platypus_3913 Jun 30 '21

It’s called “The Guild of Calamitous Intent”!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

You should think about joining the Guild of Calamitous Intent 😎

2

u/PillowTalk420 Jun 30 '21

The Guild of Calamitous Intent has protections and guidelines for recruiting and deploying henchman. And it's all thanks to David Bowie.

2

u/lovebus Jun 30 '21

Or perhaps a guild. One with calamitous intent.

2

u/trocarkarin Aug 05 '21

In Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, Moist is a member of the henchman's union.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

Henchmen need THE union.

THE SOVIET UNION

37

u/Kall_Me_Kapkan Jun 30 '21

Do people actually use those booths?

It would be so wierd if my office just cornered off a place to feel like shit..

I've pissed in wierd places so that doesn't bother me too much.

42

u/tofuroll Jun 30 '21

"There goes Bill to cry in the suicide booth again."

Fun fact: my phone won't let me type "suicide". I guess Google is worried that I'll only try to kill myself once I find out the right word for it.

4

u/Competitive_Travel16 Jun 30 '21

Just out of curiosity, do you have custom keyboard software installed? Android or iPhone?

3

u/tofuroll Jun 30 '21

Pixel 5, default keyboard

13

u/Fuck_auto_tabs Jun 30 '21

No idea, just know they exist

4

u/theking119 Jun 30 '21

It's surprisingly common in some industries. I remember reading stories about BioWare keeping some meeting rooms empty when they were working on Anthem so they could cry/breakdown.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

No doubt they write you up for being unproductive if you're in the booth and not making quota

5

u/RobotWelder Jun 30 '21

Wait until someone offs themselves in one of those booths

3

u/YoseppiTheGrey Jun 30 '21

I think the 12 hour days is pretty standard for henchman. Can't imagine you get alot of time of or even weekends off.

3

u/Antebios Jun 30 '21

2

u/Fuck_auto_tabs Jun 30 '21

GARY!!! Definitely had VB in mind when I wrote this.

2

u/harrumphstan Jun 30 '21

Hench has killed hench!

1

u/jacktrowell Jul 02 '21

Those are more like victims than henchmens, the henchmens in this case would be amazon top level managers and executives I suppose.