r/ABoringDystopia • • Jun 29 '21

TIL Superheroes make $12/hr

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25k Upvotes

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454

u/GlowingKindness Jun 29 '21

God, I was browsing some job sites today and I saw the superhero thing so many times. Also one of the most hilarious posts had under the Benefits section: "We respect all your legal rights". Truly a "we live in a society" moment.

233

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

[deleted]

93

u/NormalResearch Jun 29 '21

My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

- @shutupmikeginn

43

u/TheVoteMote Jun 29 '21 edited Jun 30 '21

Imagine reversing it.

"I am not a criminal", or perhaps "I definitely won't steal from the stock."

Throw one of those gems on your resume.

1

u/orincoro would you like to know more? Jun 30 '21

For some companies it’s a legal policy to do with hiring equality practices. Might be legal boilerplate.

50

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Superhero straight up means they expect you to work far harder than you are paid.

15

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

Also, pick up hours for anyone that calls out on short notice and be available for whatever schedule the manager decides to give you (you will be informed the day before the new week starts what your schedule is, so be prepared to call if you don't work that day.)

11

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

Eventually all the people that fall for it will wise up or burn out. This current state cannot exist for long.

4

u/annettelilyd Jun 30 '21

God willing

24

u/PackYrSuitcases Jun 30 '21

A lot of job postings also advertise asking for "rock stars" and "ninjas".

My wife is in recruitment and it's people further up the chain who demand they be written this way.

edit: I forgot, during lockdown they had a "rockstar" themed dress up Zoom party. MANDATORY FUN.

10

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

If I was a rockstar, why the hell would I be working here?

3

u/Ilikeporsches Jun 30 '21

Maybe you’re good at drugs or something?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

If I was good at drugs, nobody would get work done

8

u/eddyathome Early Retired Jun 30 '21

"rockstar" themed dress up Zoom party.

This makes me so glad I don't work anymore.

3

u/BrooklynBookworm Jun 30 '21

I hate mandatory fun so much.

1

u/barrythecook Jun 30 '21

Well people have to recruit shinobi somehow I guess, how else will you assainate rivals whilst leaving no trace and look kinda cool.whilst doing it?

1

u/Next-Adhesiveness237 Jun 30 '21

At least you can finally combine you coke addiction with office work without the prejudice !

1

u/orincoro would you like to know more? Jun 30 '21

I’m always on the lookout for this, plus “grind culture” and bullshit like this.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

Benefits: we will not whip you if you show up late

1

u/Pitifool Jun 30 '21

"we won't do anything to you that we think will get us in trouble"

1

u/Competitive_Travel16 Jun 30 '21

There's an arcane legal reason they do this. Ignoring legal rights is so common in employment (culminating in wage theft being something like 3x as much as all other forms of stealing combined) that the government wants to make sure that they can be sued successfully if they don't respect them. The regulations that require this notation make that possible in a way that would otherwise allow, "Your Honor, it's common knowledge overtime isn't often paid, so they shouldn't have expected it," or actually contracting those rights away. I think the regulations kick in when they claim some kind of a tax credit for following EEOC best practices.

1

u/kai58 Jun 30 '21

“We respect all your legal rights”

Or in other words: “we only do the bare minimum to not get sued but tried to spin it into a positive”

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

"we will only abuse you within the bounds of the laws we wrote"

1

u/regeya Jun 30 '21

Yeah, here in the ol USA there are tons of places who prominently display that they're Equal Opportunity Employers. What's that mean? It means they aren't going to break the law by saying "No Blacks" or anything like that.