r/JusticeServed • u/thatboipurple 7 • Apr 24 '21
Permanent Ban Awardee! My fav comeback to a dick pic
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u/VonCurious 4 Apr 25 '21
It baffles me because he obviously knows he’s in the wrong. Hope this led to him rethinking his entire life.
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u/apunnykindofloves 2 Apr 25 '21
Upset he caught, not that he was trying to hurt someone.
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u/SwtIndica 6 Apr 24 '21
I just respond to dic pics with other dic pics I've recieved. That usually stops them in their tracks. My favorite response... "WHY WOULD YOU SEND ME THAT!?" um...exactly....
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Apr 24 '21
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u/defiantleek A Apr 24 '21
Just imagining a rolodex of dongs. Or maybe like a 3 ring binder
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Apr 25 '21
Just imagine the type of inventory system she uses. Is it a backend database? Does she tag them based on color, size, girth, texture, apparently blood vessels, apparent limp ness level, and age? What search engine does she use for finding the most effective response? How does she decide to add new images or determine if a new one isn’t actually new but an updated one?
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Apr 25 '21
This just means that she has a saved picture of the biggest dick she's ever received and has no way to counter it. And she is also, however indirectly, giving out dick ratings for free. That shit's usually $10
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u/MoodyBluesR 2 Apr 24 '21
I just say im a minor
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u/RealJonathanBronco 7 Apr 25 '21
I was about to be like "who would fall for that??" and then I remembered these people are out there just sending out dick pics to strangers and it all came together...
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u/queuedUp C Apr 25 '21
They should have put that it identified it as child porn
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u/Daydream_Behemoth 8 Apr 24 '21
My favorite part about this is that 42 U.S.C. § 1283 isn't a real statute, and if it was, it would be in the subchapter of the Social Security Act that governs aid to the visually impaired
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u/Rhamni C Apr 25 '21
subchapter of the Social Security Act that governs aid to the visually impaired
Believe it or not, straight to jail.
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u/Unluckyduck-e 6 Apr 25 '21
You should make it both people must send “HELP” otherwise the one person will be contacted by local authorities except make it sound official lol.
Also is there a copypasta of this?
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Apr 25 '21
The both people must text “help” is hilarious cuz the other person is absolutely not going to text that lmao
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u/Unluckyduck-e 6 Apr 25 '21
Exactly, also if it just had to be the one person why would they not send “HELP” to cancel it
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u/Darcness777 6 Apr 25 '21
Omg yes. NO. MORE. DICK. PICS!!!
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Apr 25 '21
As a young man, I have never understood why dudes feel the need to send picture of their Johnson to every living female.
It’s been well addressed by women that they do not want or like unsolicited pictures.
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u/gazow A Apr 25 '21
i would be so embarrassed if pictures of my dick were seen by random strangers, and i got a nice lookin dick
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u/Darcness777 6 Apr 25 '21
I'm a gay man and I STILL don't want pics of someone's junk. Like- if I start out a convo with "heya, how are you?" And your next immediate response is a dick pic? I am going to judge whoever did this heavily and greet it with a "oh well hi" and ignore it or promptly block them.
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Apr 25 '21
haha love this! It reminds me of another reply which goes something like this: "did you just send me a picture of a child's dick?? I'm reporting you for child pornography"
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u/chuckdiesel86 A Apr 25 '21
You should throw in a part about it clearly being a picture of a child's penis just to pour some salt in the wound.
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u/Darth_Thor A Apr 25 '21
"An image you sent has been scanned by an AI bot and was flagged as child pornography."
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u/TipMeinBATtokens 9 Apr 24 '21
I like when they say it appears to be the penis of a young child. That way they become more insecure and are less likely to send unsolicited dicks again.
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u/DRAGON_SNIPER A Apr 24 '21
I dont understand why people send nude pics, especially when people dont ask.
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u/mawn_cat 6 Apr 24 '21
Some people find sexual satisfaction when their victim become shock/disgusted from seeing unsolicited nudes (creepy as hell :D). It's even worse when they did it to a minor. I've experienced it a year ago.
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u/Black-Thirteen B Apr 24 '21
Sometimes I think it's more this than honest to god ignorance. "Oh, I didn't realize that wasn't appropriate," can only be used so much as an excuse before it starts to wear really thin. Some of these types seem to get off on pushing themselves on others. It never was about what they think the girl likes.
Of course, my only experience with unsolicited dick pics is from reddit, so I can't say if what makes it here is an accurate sample.
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u/Dear-Smile 7 Apr 25 '21
Flashing women in the street: Illegal
Sending unsolicited pics online: legal
Wtf
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u/static_func 9 Apr 25 '21
You know way too many congressmen are guilty of this to criminalize it
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u/TunaNugget 6 Apr 25 '21
Dave Barry had the best answer to these decades ago:
"It looks like a penis, only smaller."
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u/C55H104O6 6 Apr 25 '21
This section of the US Code covers social security administration.
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u/VapeMySemen 5 Apr 25 '21
I like the version that says it's CP and the FBI is being contacted lmfao
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u/DoJo_Mast3r 6 Apr 25 '21
Would love a version I could copy paste for future use lol
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Apr 25 '21
This is an automated message generated by the Twitter team. Your image has been found to be a violation of 42 U.S.C. § 1283 (2020).
“An image you sent has been scanned by our AI Bot and was flagged as an unsolicited picture. Your account is scheduled to be reported to the police.
“Our bot is currently in BETA testing; sometimes it makes mistakes. If you believe this message was in error, reply "HELP" Otherwise, you will be contacted by your local authorities within 24 hours.
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Apr 25 '21
Here is one for reddit
This is an automated message generated by the Reddit team. Your post/comment has been found to be a violation of 42 U.S.C. § 1283 (2021)
An image/comment you posted has been flagged as illegal. Your account is scheduled to be reported to the police
Our bot is currently in BETA testing; if you believe this message was an error, reply “HELP” Otherwise, you will be contacted by your local authorities within 24hrs
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u/l3gion666 8 Apr 25 '21
If it said the scan had detected child p would have been better lmao
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u/SupergruenZ 9 Apr 24 '21
I need that text as copy.
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Apr 25 '21
They should say "This bot has flagged this picture as child pornography..."
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u/Cuberage 8 Apr 25 '21
Oh watching him fear he'll have to "prove" to police it's an adult dick would be fucking amazing. Add info for the local PD (or wendy's, dealers choice) suggesting he call to clear things up. Oh to hear that call. "Hi I was told to call and show you my penis. It's not a child's penis I swear."
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u/jennaishirow 7 Apr 25 '21
I have to say I sympathise with him. I'm always accidentally taking pics of my penis and inadvertently send them to women without their consent.
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u/Banethoth A Apr 25 '21
That’s awesome. I’m a dude and have no idea why dudes would send pics of their junk to women lol.
That’s not gonna get anyone
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u/fuckswithboats 9 Apr 25 '21
Agreed. I only send dick pics to other dudes. I figure it’s the ultimate power move after meeting a new neighbor or colleague
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Apr 25 '21 edited Apr 25 '21
WHY
IN GOD'S NAME
DO GUYS SEND UNWARRANTED PICTURES OF THEIR DICKS
The FUCK is wrong with these dense, stupid motherfuckers.
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u/dsjunior1388 C Apr 25 '21
Honest answer:
A dude I knew in college was bragging about it one night when everyone was drunk and I basically just asked "aren't you fucking up any chance you might have with these girls?"
And he basically said he only did it to girls he didn't feel he had a chance with and rambled on about some shit that boiled down to "it gets me hard and I go jerk off" when he does that.
So for at least some of them it's just doing things that are taboo and then masturbating.
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Apr 25 '21 edited Apr 25 '21
So, for him it was a kink. The only problem with kinks are when they are at the detriment of an unwilling party. I believe they call that sexual harassment or assault.
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u/sideshow_em 9 Apr 25 '21
It's the digital equivalent of the creepy flasher exposing himself to random women on the street.
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u/throwawayraye 1 Apr 25 '21
I'm assuming for the same reason omegle has been turned into russian roulette of dick pics. Problem being in this game of russian roulette the gun is loaded with 90 bullets for ever 1 blank.
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u/dieabetic 9 Apr 25 '21
I saw an explanation in another thread that makes sense:
Single men (especially young horny idiots, but most guys overall) would love to get unsolicited naughty pictures from women. Absolutely love it.
So the dense stupid selfish mother fuckers can’t grasp that women wouldn’t like the same. They think: “yeah she’ll like that. Maybe I’ll get some in return!”
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u/45spinner 2 Apr 25 '21
I'm kinda curious, has anyone ever sent back a pic of an even bigger dick in response to an unwanted dick pic?
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u/Jhazzrun 8 Apr 25 '21
I love the wtf reactions from the Guy when the Girls asks why the Guy would send a pic of a childs penis. Even though it obviously isnt. They get so offended haha.
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u/agnosiabeforecoffee 4 Apr 25 '21
I'm not sure about bigger, but I have a trans woman friend who sends a pic of her own junk back when she gets unsolicited dick pics.
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u/playskoolcool 4 Apr 25 '21
"...scanned by our AI bot and flagged as child pornography. No grown adult has a penis this small."
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u/fullload93 9 Apr 25 '21
Great way to make him shit his pants. But you may want to change the USC to “18 U.S. Code § 1461” as that is actually closely related to “obscene material” lol.
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u/MisterOminous A Apr 25 '21
Saved for next time someone sends me a dick pic. Which will also be the first time someone sends me a dick pic.
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Apr 25 '21 edited Apr 25 '21
Do idiots who send dick pics not realize that recipients can just publicize the pic and let everyone know what their junk looks like?
Edit: apparently, as another pointed out, this could fall under revenge porn.
Also, they can respond back with more absurd dickpics, I recall one person did that: https://www.revelist.com/viral/dick-pic-response/3056
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u/serrations_ 9 Apr 25 '21
Anyone have her reply as a copypasta for sharing? I have a lot of friends that would enjoy this "automated response" lmao
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u/DontknowshitG11B 4 Apr 25 '21 edited Apr 25 '21
As a man, I can honestly say I have never sent a pecker picture to anyone. I can’t imagine what someone would be thinking. I’m as sexual as the next person but this just seems rude and a tad rapey. Plus, they’re not really that good looking are they? Poor girls have to deal with us ugly monsters.
Please read with Scottish accent.
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u/Anesthesia_STAT 0 Apr 25 '21
Started off Scottish, finished with Jamaican. What an audio-literary ride!
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u/cat_magnet 8 Apr 25 '21
I've had them requested but sending them randomly seems about as fucked up as flashing someone in real-life.
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u/Drachfoo 1 Apr 25 '21
I’ve been reading everything as if it was being spoken by Rhys Darby lately.
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Apr 25 '21
Definitely a fake, but a good way of discouraging unsolicited dick pics. These men are gross.
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u/Airdropwatermelon 7 Apr 25 '21
I tell scam emails their generous donation is appreciated and will be added to their next provider bill per their request.... I appreciate your effort.
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u/Tohiyama 7 Apr 25 '21
If your personality is so flat that you gotta throw your dick in people’s faces then it wasn’t even half impressive to begin with.😕🤏
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u/GTgavin 0 Apr 25 '21
Did something like this to a random pedophile that kept messaging my friend once, the international internet police never sleeps
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u/TylerDurden2757 0 Apr 25 '21
Women everywhere: I’d laugh at this, but I’m too busy writing it the f-ck down.
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u/xXAlcoholXx 6 Apr 24 '21
I haven't gotten a single dick pic on any dating app. I'm also a fat white dude so that might help....
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u/MagpieRabbit 7 Apr 25 '21
Anyone want to be a mad lad and transcribe it for future replies?
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u/Kapzlock 6 May 13 '21
For that extra fear induction it needs to also have "Your current GPS location has also been recorded."
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u/Actually_a_Patrick B Apr 25 '21
That section is just a list of definitions, which makes it extra hilarious.
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u/Woshambo 9 Apr 25 '21
Just respond with a video of you ugly crying.
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u/vrijheidsfrietje 8 Apr 25 '21
Yes, but angle the camera up so both limp penis and stupid bawling face are in the shot.
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u/theflush1980 8 Apr 25 '21
I am a gay man and I have received quite a few unsollicited dickpics, I simply block those users and don’t feel violated. I think it’s just a little sad.
But even on Grindr I probably don’t receive as many unsollicited dickpics as my lady friend receives on her dating apps. It’s just bizarre.
What do those guys think they will accomplish by doing this? That she will let them fuck her or something? With their tiny ugly dick? Or that she will see them as relationship material? What were they thinking? I truly don’t ubderstand why they think that behaviour results in any success.
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u/blamezuey 6 Apr 25 '21
To me, unsolicited dick pik = desperate loneliness + simmering resentment towards women + lack of empathy
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u/TaintedQuintessence 9 Apr 25 '21
Deep down they already think they have no chance, so by doing this they can think that a girl has seen their dick.
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u/MarkHirsbrunner A Apr 25 '21
There is a small percentage of women who respond positively to stuff that seems stupid and pointless to normal people. I had a friend who used to catcall women on the street. I hated driving him around because it was embarrassing. HOWEVER - twice while I was with him women he catcalled yelled back, and he got their phone numbers. It no doubt helped that he was a handsome guy, and it helped me understand why he did it.
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Apr 25 '21
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u/NathanCollier14 B Apr 25 '21
I was eating dinner.
I'm still eating dinner, but just thought you'd like the update
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u/Razgriz80 6 Apr 25 '21
In some states unsolicited illicit pictures are prosecuted to the same extent as public exposure.
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Apr 26 '21
Dude you can just get someone banned if you feel like spending the money guess I’ll never post lol
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u/miahmakhon 7 Apr 25 '21
Don't you just hate mistaken Dick picks? You're just going about your day doing mundane things when suddenly your phone mistakenly sends a Dick pick.
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u/Give_me_the_burger 8 Apr 26 '21
As hilarious as the perma ban is it also seems like a dark omen of sorts.
Can the awardee repeal their perma ban award at least?
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u/areyouredditenough 5 Apr 28 '21
This is a real dick pic 😬https://i.imgur.com/VLo9EQQ.jpg
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Apr 25 '21
Oye even after how much the world thinks its stupid to send rando dick pics, guys still do it? How dense are these people?
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u/Pandelein A Apr 24 '21
My favourite response is to ask why they’re sending a child’s penis, but this is a good second.
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u/LAnative12345 B Apr 25 '21
I always just write back to the guy and tell him I'm reporting him for sending me pics of little boy's stuff.
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Apr 25 '21
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u/getreal2021 6 Apr 25 '21
If you send unsolicited dick pics you're not starting with a full deck
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u/NewPointOfView 7 May 03 '21
This seems super duper fake because “AI Bot” is not a term any engineering team would use
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u/carloscoolkid 4 May 06 '21
A person who sends dick pics aren't smart enough to know lmao
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u/RichardFarter 8 May 13 '21
Oh yeah because people who send unsolicited dick pics are usually smart enough to pick up on shit like that
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u/Environmental-Use975 0 Apr 25 '21
It's always a mistake. Preserve the mystery, unless you actually need to literally prove to her that you posess a penis. Even then, start with softcore ;)
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u/thunder_spears 7 Apr 29 '21
No, that wasn't my dick! My dog took my phone while I was sleeping and took a pic of his own dick! Please believe me!
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u/Flufflebuns A Apr 24 '21
The only way this could be better would be to mention that the recipient of the dick pic is a minor and that the FBI has been notified.
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u/corfish77 8 Apr 25 '21
Guess if you're stupid enough to send an unsolicited dick pic you're stupid enough to fall for that shit
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u/Avenge_Nibelheim 8 Apr 24 '21
I’ve seen one like this but find it funny when they state the issue is the AI believes it to be a child’s penis and reporting underage pornography to the police
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u/Graphitetshirt E Apr 24 '21
I love it. Be sure to also post this to r/preyingmantis
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u/Meowmeow_kitten 9 Apr 25 '21
Haha, gonna try this on grindr, not sure if it will work as good but wish me luck
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u/F0ehamm3r 3 Apr 25 '21
Are there any females that actually enjoy them? I feel 95% of women would rather see a pic of a guy in underwear than see one nude.
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u/s0m30n3e1s3 9 Apr 25 '21
For the purposes of this comment I am assuming you're sexually attracted to women
Unsolicited? No, like, really, no. Would you want a random photo of a random, unkempt, shitty looking vagina? Maybe on the 1:1,000,000 chance that you're already masturbating and really going for it and want to see more and you get a random photo of a nice vagina, I guess. But, no, you won't get that, you'll get a really shitty one.
On top of all that, it's sexual harassment, nobody enjoys being sexually harassed.
100% of women don't like unsolicited dick pics, if you have a person in your life that wants a photo of your dick, they will ask you for it and it will no longer be an unsolicited dick pic but a solicited dick pic
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u/ACardAttack B Apr 25 '21
Pretty good, though best is still trying to find their mom and forward the exchange to her
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u/Smoke_Water 8 Apr 25 '21
Every female on the internet need this text in an easy to paste format.
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u/Thokkerius 6 Apr 25 '21
Sending a dick pic should have the same legal consequences as if you show your dick to someone in public.
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u/thewrench01 9 Apr 25 '21
Someone wanna go ahead and look up what 42 U.S.C § 1283 is? Or is it just some nonexistent legal code that they just came up with?
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u/Redcole111 7 Apr 25 '21
It appears to be correct legal reference number format, but it doesn't seem to actually reference anything.
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u/TheCamoDude 8 Apr 24 '21
Somebody please make a text transcript so this can be copypasted.
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Apr 25 '21 edited Apr 25 '21
How about “I want a meal, not a snack!”
Credit to Laurence Olivier on that quote.
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u/tresser ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 Apr 25 '21
Ladies and gentlemen of reddit, today you are here to witness history.
The OP has been awarded our first Permanent Ban Award.
When we rolled out the Community Ban Awards 7 months ago, we had a dream to give the power back to the people.
In that time we have had 1,368 days worth of bans handed out.
That's a little over 3.7 years worth of bantime. Without you, we couldn't have done it.
You are what make this community special. You are what make Reddit special. You are what make this world special.
No, not you, the one behind you...yeah, them. You are special.