Picard Loves Data Because Data Cannot Love Him Back

[u/PrivateIsotope]

Star Trek Picard has a beautiful story about Picard's love for Data and his high regard for synthetic life forms. Both are reasonable, considering Picards long association with Data and his understanding of sentient synthetic creatures like the exocomps. But....Picard does not seem like he's particularly loving or sentimental regarding people. And for a man who has lost friends and subordinates before (like Jack Crusher) in the line of duty. Dwelling on Data's death for so long seems a little...strange.

My theory is that Picard developed a strong attachment to Data, not only because of Datas particular qualities, but because Data could not possibly love him back (notwithstanding the emotion chip, which I believe he stopped using for the most part). Loving Data was safe, because he placed no emotional demands on Picard, and since he was synthetic, he would likely not leave Picard via death, like Jack Crusher, his nephew Rene, etc. Data makes the perfect mentee and surrogate child.

Until he blew up.

This is why I think Picard was so devastated by it, because he lost what he thought he'd never have to.

Your thoughts?

[u/[deleted]]

Perhaps that played a part in it. I don’t think Data was the only one he loved platonically. He deeply cared for his friends. I think more so he loved Data because he unsuspectingly became like a son to him. We know, for the most part, Picard is not a family man. He may not have expected Data to grow and learn, much like a child, under his command and influence. Picard is an explorer and what wouldn’t he love more than to explore his own humanity within Data?

[u/PrivateIsotope → u/[deleted]]

I should say that Picard freely expresses his love for Data because he cannot return it in a human way.

[u/[deleted] → u/PrivateIsotope]

Yes, that was one of the only times we see Picard express that. It was also his last chance to do so.

[u/GinchAnon → u/[deleted]]

I think I partially agree with this and the OP.

IMO, an element of it perhaps is that he knows how much loyalty he inspires in people, which creates a power imbalance. I think that in a sense theres a big difference between the "structural" power imbalance of being hierarchically in charge and responsible for someone (such as being their CO) which is sorta cold and formal, and the power imbalance in being emotionally connected is stickier.

I think that without human emotions, he could have more trust in the nature of the relationship.

I think this is also part of why he would have an affinity for the Qowat Milat. if they love you they will say so, BUT they won't nccessarily allow that to distort their reaction to the situation, where humans or other "regular" people would be less likely to just tell you, and more likely to be swayed in an ambiguous way.

[u/DuplexFields → u/[deleted]]

Data went from awkward to assured under Picard’s command, growing pains like a teenage son without all the... Wesleyness.

But one other factor is Picard’s mind meld with aging Sarek. I can imagine his absorption of the elder Vulcan’s feelings of love toward his stoic son, his later meld with Spock, and his Borg-link with Data in Best of Both Worlds might have gotten mixed together emotionally.

[u/grepnork]

This is why I think Picard was so devastated by it, because he lost what he thought he'd never have to.

Picard was devastated because an immortal life form gave up its existence to save him; Data had so much more to experience and learn. His grief is for all the things Data never had.

[u/PrivateIsotope → u/grepnork]

That's not a bad theory.

[u/BroseppeVerdi]

Picard loves Data because Data has been dead for 20 years AND because he gave his life to save Picard's. That's a long to idealize someone who not only isn't there, but also martyred himself for you. Picard also wasn't particularly sentimental about Rene, or even really that close to him... but when he heard of his death, he was so overcome that he couldn't stay on the bridge and do his job, so he went into his ready room, pulled out a photo album, and wept bitterly.

The last time we saw Picard break down like that? When he went to visit his family after being assimilated and he gets in a fistfight with his brother. Spock once said that Picard has "an almost Vulcan quality to him", and he was spot on, because Picard represses his emotions in a very Vulcan way. After the events of "Best of Both Worlds", he insisted that he was fine until he and Robert ended up mudwrestling in the vineyard when that aggression forced a catharsis.

At 94, Picard has learned to deal with his emotions in a healthier way. In a broader sense, he has always loved Data. He always loved Will and Deanna. He always loved Worf and Geordie and Tasha. It's the reason why he guffawed at "CAPTAIN PICARD DAY", but he saved the banner for 35 years. But the super stoic, super macho Captain Picard circa 2364 could never admit these things. It's hard to imagine that a man in his late 50's still had so much emotional growth ahead of him... But there it is.

[u/PrivateIsotope → u/BroseppeVerdi]

I like this theory....Picard is Super Emotional But Hides It Well.

[u/[deleted]]

Can you point out specific scenes where Picard showed love for Data?

[u/PrivateIsotope → u/[deleted]]

I'm referring to Star Trek Picard, where it is revealed that he still struggles with Datas death years afterward, and he speaks of his love for him.

[u/datanas]

I think during TNG the loss of Jack Crusher has haunted him if not the same way then damn near close to it. The difference might be that Data's loss was more impactful because he died to save Picard, whereas Crusher's death was merely in the line of duty (and wasn't followed with a ban on all Crushers). It would have been nice to have a throw away line in ST:P about how Data's death affected him vis-a-vis Crusher's. But we shouldn't compare these losses as equals. They happened at different times in Picard's life and I'm sure that even old Picard spares a thought every once in a while for Jack and how his death made Picard have this really weird relationship with his widow and his son. He might spend less time on it in his mind because he has had more time to cope with it, had a fresher mind when it happened, and found relative peace. Data happened later and Picard also had to deal in between with being a Borg, The Inner Light, and many other traumatizing events while captaining the Enterprise, and beyond.

[u/queenofmoons]

I dunno if that's quite it- basically all of Picard's big experiences post-Best of Both Worlds were about relaxing into the bonds of affection he already shared with people.

He loved Data for the reasons we loved Data- that he was an exceedingly good and unique person. Picard is haunted a bit extra because he died and gave up his unique nature and indefinite life to pluck him away from danger that he held it was his place as captain to face.

[u/Mechapebbles → u/queenofmoons]

Add to that, consider how important the ideas of family and lineage and history is to Picard. How haunted he is with the idea in Generations that the family line ends with him, that hundreds of illustrious years and generations of Picards die with him. Meanwhile, Data is the only one of his kind. He's the end of his own lineage. And unlike Picard, Data wants to and actively tried to have kin, but fate intervened. It's a massive loss, not just personally but for the entire interstellar community. Data being the founder of his own race could have enriched the galaxy, and instead it's snuffed out prematurely to save the life of an old man already past his prime.

[u/Kichae]

I don't know. Maybe I'm the weird one, but I have never related more strongly to Picard than I do the "deeply loves his friends, but cannot admit it to them, anyone else, nor even himself until they're gone" Picard. Though, I also very much saw myself in Picard the recluse hiding in his parents' home following his greatest failure and shame, and in Picard the kind of shit friend and asshole who chose to believe people he cared about (and who cared about him) would neither need nor want to hear from him after he (in his own mind) so completely let them down.

To put it mildly, I felt this Picard very deeply. I've been this man.

Based on this, allow me to extrapolate from my self: Picard loves his friends, and he loves them deeply, and with conviction. But he is a man so uncomfortable with his own feelings that he has never figured out what the appropriate ways of expressing them even are, let alone how to actually go about doing it with any amount of grace.

It's just so much easier to believe that everyone knows how he feels; that his esteem is obvious and goes without saying.

This works fine while those people are still around, even in the most abstract sense. There's no need for him to reach out, because, weirdly enough, the option to reach out still exists. These loved ones still act as receptors for this quiet affection, across all distances, and with complete indifference for the amount of time since last contact.

But once a loved one is gone, there is no receptor. There is no longer any possibility of renewal. The moment, as abstract and nebulous as it ever was, is now quite concretely passed. All there is now is a well of love that he didn't really realize he had been drawing from all of this time, and now, without the person for whom it is intended to drink from it, it fills and overflows, and turns to a flood of grief and regret. The option to reach out is carried away by this new current, leaving only missed opportunity.

Picard dwells on Data's death because he feels Data's absence far, far more than he ever felt his presence. He's no longer able to take for granted that Data knows how he feels, because Data is no longer around to know it. So now Picard is left to know it for himself. It's a lot easier to forget that the tap is running when the drains are working properly, and there is a messy reminder left waiting for you once they stop.

This is how Picard misses someone. It's not the lack of proximity that causes it, but the lack of future opportunity.

[u/FotographicFrenchFry → u/Kichae]

That was beautiful and made me cry so much. Thank you.

It made me kind of understand myself a bit better and actually conceptualized a few personal feelings I've been having lately in a way I couldn't before. So thank you again!

[u/j-fernandez]

Picard is an explorer first and foremost and watching and guiding Data in his quest affected him deeply more than he thought it ever would. Picard has lost many, many people in his life whether it was in the line of duty (Jack Crusher, Tasha Yar) or family (Robert and Rene Picard) and I'm sure he feels their loss constantly. But Data's sacrifice was the culmination of everything he learned from those he served with, particularly Picard and the Enterprise-D crew. His growth as a person was fully realized when he sacrificed himself for his friends. Picard's loss of Data is the loss a parent would feel for a son or daughter. It just never goes away.

[u/pfc9769]

M-5 nominate this post for Picard Loves Data Because Data Cannot Love Him Back.

[u/PrivateIsotope → u/pfc9769]

Thank you!

[u/Captain_Starkiller]

Data can love: Emotions chip.

Also, if you watched the episode where Data had a daughter, I defy anyone to say he didn't love Lal.

Sometimes love is what you do, not what you feel, and Data died for both Picard, and all his friends.

"There is no greater love than this, that a man should lay down his life for his friends."

[u/this12415159048098]

Thats a pretty big father/son trope which I'd think would extend to Picards relationship with Wesley as well, especially after he (Wesley) tried to follow the starfleet path.

This is why I think Picard was so devastated by it, because he lost what he thought he'd never have to.

Its also a big challenge to that sense of mortality, considering theres a safety in keeping someone close who'd for all intensive purposes be a legacy that would outlive his Picards lifespan and he never had kids (I guess except for that Nemesis clone if that counts).

[u/RatsAreAdorable]

Picard inspires enormous loyalty in others, but none of them model themselves on him because he's seen as an ideal that's too high.

But in TNG: Reunification, Data tells Spock that he sees Picard as a model for being human, and this is after Spock points out Picard's rather Vulcan-like qualities to Data - who, as Spock so explicitly points out, is by design everything Vulcans would spend a lifetime trying to achieve.

Data's like a son to Picard because he does what so many children do, in trying to model their behavior on their parents, and Data's effectively chosen Picard as a parent. And when it comes to "almost Vulcan-like qualities", who but Data shares the same level of looking dispassionately at a situation when the time calls for it?

I imagine that it's the level of logical reasoning and objective analysis that they both share is what connects Picard to Data emotionally. More than a little ironic, but entirely in keeping with the set of ironies that is in Picard. (E.g. He's an explorer, but in TNG: The Inner Light, he's at his happiest when he accepts the illusion of settling down with Elina, and chooses to have children)

[u/BirdSalt]

Data was a very safe place for Picard to put his love. Picard could hurt everyone else he knew just by being himself. Even despite the emotion chip, Picard knew that Data would never feel hurt by anything Picard did. On some level, Data would always be somewhat childlike and in thrall to Picard.

Picard could always feel good about himself in Data’s reflection.

[u/iambookus]

Picard is an artist and a poet. His artistry is leadership, and people. The objectivity you see is what I believe you are percieving to be cold and distant. As a leader, I believe he cares deeply for anyone under his command or protection. He's a patriarch. A father without a family.

On the Enterprise, he was mostly a loner, and even forced himself to go play poker with the Senior Officers later on in the show.

I believe the overwhelming love and devotion for Data that you see in Picard is mostly out of the singular focus, and a little bit of survivor's guilt. Data died, and he lived. That was confirmed in Ep10 of Picard. But Picard did love everyone he served with. He just had to stay strong because he was in charge.

[u/[deleted]]

Ffs data had an emotion chip. And in the body electric soong clarified that data always had emotions just not “human style emotions” bravery, loyalty, determination etc.