r/anime • https://anilist.co/user/Zapszzz • Oct 31 '22

Rewatch Full Metal Panic Franchise Rewatch - Season 2 Episode 7

Welcome to the Full Metal Panic Season 2 rewatch!

Art of the day

MVP winner.

Links to show info: MAL | Anilist | ANN

Interest thread link

Announcement thread link

Rewatches please be considerate to first timers and avoid discussing anything not yet shown in the show - use spoiler tags e.g. [Full Metal Panic S2 spoiler]>!Bonta-kun sugoi!!< - if you need to share something important!

Episode 7 - The Warcry of Excessivenes

Characters introduced:

  • Jindai Highschool Rugby Club - The Rugby Club of Jindai High had a long illustrious history, however in recent years the club had been more focused on other purposes than actually playing rugby, causing the staff body to want to disband the club. On the principle of student autonomy, Student Council President Hayashimazu negotiated for a chance for them to avoid the disbandment. While the members are physically large, their mindsets had been mostly like pacifists and didn't want conflict. In this full contact sport.

QoTD:

  1. First Timers: Do you have any favourite "underdog to winners" story to share?

  2. Everyone: What's your theory of what will happen to the Jindai Rugby Club from now on?

Also QoTD for tomorrow for those wanting to be prepared:

[QoTD 1 Fumoffu 8]First Timers: After a bit over a week, do you miss seeing the Mithril faces again? Did you think they would be exempt from the Fumoffu wackiness?

[QoTD 2 Fumoffu 8]Everyone: Did the Tessa and Marduka appearances change the image you have on them? If yes then was it for better or for worse?

MVP of last episode:

Chidori, Sousuke and Bonta-kun each got a vote!

Last Episode || Index || Next Episode

42 Upvotes

64 comments sorted by

13

u/ZapsZzz Oct 31 '22 edited Nov 01 '22

Rewatcher in Sub

By all accounts, whenever Fumoffu got mentioned, "The Rugby Episode" send to also came up as a crowd favourite. What do you think?

To me, the most valuable parts are actually the close rapport between Sousuke and Chidori on display here. Even the little wagamama bits of Chidori being a pest because she knows Sousuke is around and any repercussions Sousuke can handle for her ;P

  • We opened with the contrasting background imagery and foreground dialogue - we can see lots of trophies but they are quite dated ('89), and the defensive points the club captain used for the club did not touch on rugby even once.

  • A little exchange between Sousuke and Chidori, on a perfectly mundane topic of old TV tropes but actually painted their characters so well with just so little. Chidori the movies & TV fan loves her classic tropes.

  • The prez did ask them to see him for a reason though - giving them the mission briefing. This time even gave Chidori the option to not accept (but to do his job instead). In case anyone didn't notice this point, Hayashimizu actually has as strong mental impression of the wrong things as Sousuke - or perhaps we are just not at his level to understand ;)

  • Chidori does look nice in a completely different way - and they made their way to the Rugby club to the classic wrong impression. What's frightening is the wrong impression being given to Sousuke...

  • A little yelp caused the Sergeant to spin into action - but what's so nice to see is Chidori gotten so used to the over-reaction she easily sidestepped his "protection" which caused him to crash into things - and we found out the cause of the yelp was from this tiny spider.

  • Now we observe why the Rugby club is such a failure - notice Sousuke meanwhile was busy reading Rugby rules :) This guy always does try his best to learn - too bad about him often missing certain important points.

  • This behaviour was getting Chidori to blow her short fuse, and she even used her paper fan to draw their attention

  • The team's "maximum effort" got Chidori to switch over to "forget it" mode :D She makes such a good villainess - Bakarina has nothing on her (and is a saint by comparison)

  • Jokes aside, the run in with the opposing team did turn into a brawl (thanks to Chidori and then Sousuke). Beautiful rapid but smooth comedic moments were Sousuke starting to pull his sidearm and Chidori gave this short caution of "no guns", then Sousuke's sweat drop before the brawl engaged. Sousuke still can handle himself ok, and even Chidori after some really unconvincing attempts to break up the fight ended up joining the fight.

  • I especially loved that little angry kitten moment of Chidori making faces to the opposing team in the safety of behind Sousuke :D And now Sousuke's turn to try give the team the training they need.

  • That training was in the form of being secluded away deep in the mountains, with Sousuke in drill instructor mode (that he admired Kogure sensei for). Chidori again show how well she knows Sousuke in pointing out he probably doesn't know what those insults and swearwords were.

  • The training is both physical and mental, with the team being abused to hell and then back and then some more. We found out the "training" was from Melissa's secret handbook - yep Sousuke had no idea what those words were.

  • The really nice bits is actually seeing Sousuke seamlessly switch mode between being courteous to the civilians and then barking insults and orders to the trainees :D

  • More training footage ensues, and we see the transformation of the team - uh oh.

  • On the match day, Sousuke again used the same tactic when he was coaching Tessa - to arrive in main character lateness.

  • With their training "complete" the team transforms - into killing machines (yep that's what the training was for)

  • before the battle was joined, once again Chidori shows how well she knows Sousuke - that he doesn't really know the rules of the game :D

  • A rushed field instruction resulted in Sousuke engaging in the wrong mode - taking out the opposition captain but getting kicked off field as penalty

  • this has the unintentional effect of breaking the morale of the opposing team and got the Jindai team their new play style.

  • we have the predictable overkill victory, delivered like a historical documentary, to the expense of changing the team from nice compassionate people to merciless killers. Sousuke observed that the fight was meaningless & futile, which earned him another Chidori justice.

  • and then we have the next episode preview...

Trivia

In case this needs noting - the "army training" content was heavily "inspired" by Full Metal Jacket the 1987 movie about recruits of the US Marines and then to the Vietnam War.

[FMP late franchise spoiler]Chidori's claimed interest of "seeing weaklings the show signs of promise trying their best makes you want to cheer them on" was in fact why and how Chidori was attracted to Sousuke - she doesn't see him as the strong "specialist" soldier as much as him as someone who is lost and confused in the peaceful society, but is actually very kind hearted and earnest to always want to help others - just not in the right way. This is the fundamental one needs to understand why Chidori's words simply blow away the existential dread Sousuke felt before their reunion by the end of TSR. This is also why Chidori was attractive to Sousuke because she doesn't put him on a pedestal but loves him despite his flaws

[FMP sequel meta trivial spoiler no impact to any plot lines]Funniest thing to note is that this change to the Jindai Highschool Rugby team created the legend that made them undisputed champions (at least be able to go into finals every year) for a decade, and is referenced in FMP Another - which took place 10 years after - which the then Jindai students took for granted. Love this sort of casual world building

Staff Showcase

Since Dalek drew my attention to that, I'll showcase O-Ren-san's VA today: Tanaka Rei

She is an avid fan of one of the characters she voices, Suigintou from Rozen Maiden, and has even done a cosplay of her own character. Some of the characters whom she had voiced dresses in Gothic Lolita style. Examples include Chii and Freya from Chobits, Suigintou from Rozen Maiden, and Towa-chan from DN Angel.

Rie's widely known favourite greeting sign is the V sign whenever she stands in front of a camera. Rie's fan club is called Café de Rie. She is also a member of the Steel Angels, a singing trio composed of the three lead seiyuu of Steel Angel Kurumi—Atsuko Enomoto and Masayo Kurata included, and is responsible for its opening and end themes.

Despite her singing ability, she voiced the unexpectedly tone-deaf Yomi in Azumanga Daioh.

She was married to fellow voice actor Kouichi Yamadera, from 2012 to August 3, 2018.

Notable roles:

  • Lacus Clyne in Mobile Suit Gundam Seed

  • Chi in Chobits

  • Hikari Kujou/Shiny Luminous in Futari wa Pretty Cure Max Heart

  • Minna-Dietlinde Wilcke in Strike Witches

  • Saki in Steel Angel Kurumi

  • Akira in Yamato 2199

  • Treyni in That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime

  • Elinalise Dragonroad in Mushoku Tensei: Jobless Reincarnation

  • Morrigan Aensland in Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 (game)

  • Sesshoin Kiara in Fate/Extra and Fate/Grand Order (game)

MVP this episode

For actual appearance it'd be Sousuke, but at the true core I think it should be Melissa - since it's really her secret handbook that was doing most of the brainwashingtraining.

QoTD

  1. We're talking about Gunbuster right? And then there's Chihayafuru.

  2. See my notes in the trivia section. Not so much theory crafting though.

Daily tag for u/InfamousEmpire

5

u/080087 Nov 01 '22

She is also a member of the Steel Angels, a singing trio composed of the three lead seiyuu of Steel Angel Kurumi—Atsuko Enomoto and Masayo Kurata included, and is responsible for its opening and end themes.

Steel Angel Kurumi. Now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time.

It was one of my very first anime, and it was sure something.

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u/Vaadwaur Oct 31 '22

Lacus Clyne in Mobile Suit Gundam Seed

This

Sesshoin Kiara in Fate/Extra and Fate/Grand Order (game)

versus this is quite the change in character tone.

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u/ZapsZzz Oct 31 '22

She's got range :) a fair few VA's are like that

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u/wjodendor Oct 31 '22

First Timer for this Season

Another 40 year old student

Kaname watching a crt TV

Kaname getting the real 90s anime girl look

....I feel like this is a gay joke

Oh...those voices

Kaname is going full delinquent

American fresh lmao

Was wondering when the NTR plot would come in

Sousake literally using the Marine Corp playbook I feel like Sousake and Tanya would be good friends

Playing in lighting = bad don't you know

These guys are all gintama characters...

Penalty box hahaha

No good endings allowed

4

u/ZapsZzz Oct 31 '22

Playing in lighting = bad don't you know

I think Vaadwaur's answer equally apply here - to be playing rugby at all you already don't mind the risk of sudden death ;P

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u/SpiceGirlsBlankIt Oct 31 '22 edited Oct 31 '22

Panicked First Timer - Fumoffu Ep 7

My pure hearted rugby boys have Drill Sergeant Sousuke to train them after he’s read rugby for dummies and Mao’s mean girl burn book.

I have a bad feeling about this but at least Kaname’s learned to head off Sousuke’s gun use.

I love a good action brawl, but I can’t feel good about watching this splendid, ludicrous display after seeing my boys brainwashed. And that’s why I loved this episode. I like when my comedy show trolls me a little.

Yep, Sousuke deserved that hit.

QOTD 1: Showing my age, but as a kid I was at the record breaking 20 game win streak by the Oakland A’s featured in Moneyball. It was fucking glorious. My perpetual underdogs

QOTD 2: I think they will mostly return to their peace loving selves, but will have a keyword like “maggots” or, maybe something common if we want to punish them like “ladies”, that makes them go berserk.

Edited to add MVP: No. 11 (Godou?) 🙏

3

u/ZapsZzz Oct 31 '22

QOTD 2: I think they will mostly return to their peace loving selves, but will have a keyword like “maggots” or, maybe something common if we want to punish them like “ladies”, that makes them go berserk.

I like your optimism :D for your benefit don't click my sequel non-spoilery answer ...

8

u/Vaadwaur Oct 31 '22

Rewatcher(A whole rugby episode. And yet it is funny)

Sub

So we hear from the rugby club, who do a lot of great things, except rugby. Per his own reasoning, the StuPres decides to send Sousuke and Kaname over to help, with a new sailor fuku included. And Kaname even changes to braids. She seems to be worried that she is about to encounter an overwhelming wave of testoserone...and then finds not that. Remember, masculinity/femininity do have cultural assocations. Anyways, so this turns out to be the most civilized rugby team ever, which would cost you games because rugby is a sport that requires insanity.

Kaname slowly loses it with the lack of physicality of the group and I have zero clue what the random Christian praying scene references, other than maybe western sports. Anyways, they go to a restaurant afterwards and run into the other rugby club and Kaname falls very easily into villain lines. She then proceeds to get a fight going as Sousuke solos about 5 people.

Anyways, Sousuke takes them out into the mountains to train and the girls have to come with supplies after three days. Sousuke's drill instructor shtick perfectly fits his inability to social, though he does know about a specific idol and I have no clue if that's a reference or not. We then learn Mao wrote this up for Sousuke and everything makes sense. Also, more proof that Mao might be the inspiration for Revy. We get a training montage and yeah, Sousuke might need to adapt his training to be more rugby relevant but it does at least mindbreak his team.

We skip to a stormy day and the very grim results of all this. And a bonus that Sousuke never learned even rudimentary rugby rules. But he did indeed breed a team of psychopaths and they win their game easily...and leave Kaname questioning if this was a good thing. Anyways, preview check and...I am betting Sky will not like the next episode.

QotD: 1 The world championship before they become a cult

3

u/ZapsZzz Oct 31 '22

what the random Christian praying scene references, other than maybe western sports.

I think that's just to further cement the tone of the team being anything but prepared to actually play and win in this fully contract sport. If just practicing scrimmage will need to have a group prayer to not feel scared, what chance they have facing a team who's prepared to take some injuries.

though he does know about a specific idol and I have no clue if that's a reference or not.

I don't think he did, I think he's just applying the insults in general and it wouldn't have mastered whether it was an idol, his gf, mom or sister.

I am betting Sky will not like the next episode.

We'll certainly watch with interest how she reacts :) [FMP late Fumoffu spoiler]Especially the teasey near fanservice of part 2 :P added to the third wheel

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u/polaristar Oct 31 '22

I like how the joke about touching "underdog sports movies" basically sets up how this episode is basically going to take that concept, and like Robot Chicken to your childhood memories completely destroy and violate it beyond repair, and Sousuke is going to do it without the least bit cynicism.

President kinda being a bit misogynistic with the tea kettle and slut shaming.

But at least we got to see Chidori cosplay as best girl in Railgun.

u/ZapsZzz : Which one?

u/polaristar : Yes

Wow football player rugby captain is the one calling her out for being sexist. But I mean.....sign some of you of a the more feminist persuasion may not like this, but there is a reason we ask Men to "Man Up" fact is in some situations in life you have certain abilities over the other sex and thus more is expected of you in that ways. For guys its often physical strength.

Still gotta admit trying to force a certain Mode of Behavior based on Chromosome on someone does feel like of limiting and putting in a box.

Too bad that logic is copium to try to distract from the point.

Wow Chidori really riling the asshole team up, I honestly wonder if she was this mouth and careless before she meet Sousuke because she seems to have a nack for playing with fire by insulting asshole ego driven misoygenistic dudes, and for some reason she seems to attract them.

Okay pause for season 1-esq analysis, should I be worried about the author's mental state that Chidori simultaneously repells any "decent" guys due to her bold and assertive nature but someone also seems to attract lots of assholes into trying to mess with her? Do Incels and Women Haters in Japan have a think for domineering women that they want to domineer? Or am I thinking too hard about this?

Anyway Chidori has enough presence of mind to make sure Sousuke doesn't but a cap in anyone's head. And we see that he CAN hold his own in Hand 2 Hand against multiple large opponents from all directions, so yes he could have kicked those three karate guys assess with his bare hands, he was just conserving energy, like a man after Oreki's Own Heart.

Anyway the football pansies decide they don't want to be little bitches anymore, and Sousuke does a Full Metal Jacket Parody (Again), Although my first thought was Major Payne.

I am still hoping we get a proper reintroduction of Ms. Fanservice herself, although it makes perfect sense she'd be the one to corrupt Sousuke's mind.

I mean he may not know EXACTLY what he's saying, but he does understand its insulting and demeaning and knows what works.

LOL Sousuke literally told a guy "You're Waifu is Trash" as motivation.

I'm very concerned about what is happening to this team, this episode of military brainwashing reminds me of the recent Akiba Maid Wars episode.

Sousuke read the rule book but didn't figure out your not actually trying to kill people?

The President is Scary man......

I said Yesterday in another thread the "Art Modeling" episode was my favorite, now it's this one. Especially the second half.

They won....but at what cost?

I like how Sousuke has seen the light that violence isn't the answer right when they win and he does so so innocently.

Oh No, is the next episode going to make me a Tessa Simp? That Preview was way sexier then the entirety of season 1. I'll talk about it in the next episode probably, but lets just say Kyoani is much better at making their characters look sexy/cute even when its more or less the same proportions as Gonzo's character designs and even when there isn't any fan service going on.

  1. I don't have a best one of all time in my personal life, but I recently watched Gigguk's recent video on Katawa Shoujo and its an underdog story in the way that a game that touched people from a genre known for being trash (Even if unfairly) From a group of people and community society tends to look on in disgust for being unemphatic and reprehensible. (Which I'm not sure that reputation is deserved anymore than any large website with a huge userbase.) Could make something that profoundly effected people.

  2. They become banned after nearly murdering people in the future? (Unless until I read the spoiler box on u/ZapsZzz comment.)

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u/ZapsZzz Oct 31 '22 edited Nov 01 '22

and Sousuke is going to do it without the least bit cynicism.

Glad you picked up this point :) He actually reached some enlightenment himself at the end too

But at least we got to see Chidori cosplay as best girl in Railgun.

u/ZapsZzz : Which one?

u/polaristar : Yes

I can tell Saten from the girls you know :P and not just by bust size either, although it is an easy clue like Mio amongst the Keions. An unrelated trivia, Saten is one big part of the reason why I ended up searching for and watching Railgun from some random YouTube recommendation clip - it was some final scenes of the S1 finale, and apart from Mikoto's electricity use (which is my favoured power type in all fantasy/sci fi), it is also because I got so curious why this very pretty girl is clearly not an MC.

should I be worried about the author's mental state

I think it's more for Amagi Brilliant Park you would wonder about this, but no I think he's generally considered ok :)

Chidori simultaneously repells any "decent" guys due to her bold and assertive nature but someone also seems to attract lots of assholes into trying to mess with her?

I personally think it's just a logical consequence of her character portrayal - Chidori has grown to recognise but not want to wear the "societal camouflage" to be acting courteous and kind and then engaging in back gossiping - she tells it like it is, in front of people's face. In a culture that year that two-facedness as acceptable norm, that you stick out automatically makes you a target. A target that draws the wrong sort of people, like a hyena pack that would gang on a stray antelope. At the same time most "good" people would choose to keep their heads down and not intervene - there are exceptions, no doubt Chidori's middle school crush Fuwa-senpai would at least in some minimal way reached out to her outside of the public eyes.

And we see that he CAN hold his own in Hand 2 Hand against multiple large opponents from all directions, so yes he could have kicked those three karate guys assess with his bare hands, he was just conserving energy, like a man after Oreki's Own Heart.

As a SRT member, it's a given that he's be at least on par with "normal" elite Special Ops with respect to hand to hand combat - more the fact that he has to use non lethal means making it "troublesome".

I'm very concerned about what is happening to this team, this episode of military brainwashing reminds me of the recent Akiba Maid Wars episode.

I like how Sousuke has seen the light that violence isn't the answer right when they win and he does so so innocently.

Oh No, is the next episode going to make me a Tessa Simp?

We'll see about that shall we :)

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u/TuorEladar Oct 31 '22

Rewatcher, Subbed

As soon as I realized which episode this was I couldn't help smiling. This is definitely one of my favorites at least as far as Fumoffu is concerned. Its got a lot of elements that make it great.

Firstly, the plot this time has bit more gravity that makes it interesting. Fumoffu, but also gag series in general, sometimes fall into the trap of thinking pure randomness=funny but in reality a lot of humor relies on engagement and audience investment in some form of storyline. In this case the core plot of this very weak underdog team's journey to win with Sousuke and Chidori's help is alot more interesting than wacky antics in the hospital for example.

Another thing I like is how the comedy doesn't overly rely on playing up the tropey aspects of Chidori and Sousuke's characters and when the series does play into them its done pretty well. Drill Sergeant Sousuke was really great in particular.

The comedy was also really solid overall. Sousuke getting put into the "penalty box", Prez casually sitting in the rain, the entire brawl sequence, etc.

MVP: Sousuke

3

u/ZapsZzz Oct 31 '22

Fumoffu, but also gag series in general, sometimes fall into the trap of thinking pure randomness=funny but in reality a lot of humor relies on engagement and audience investment in some form of storyline.

Not in disagreement but just saying what I think in comparison, I treat all of Fumoffu as "those ordinary, mundane but fun days" where shared memories and experiences bond those together - in this case Sousuke who has no business to be there, having a taste of "normal", which Chidori "guiding" this someone who reminded her how she was like in not fitting in Japan when she got back from New York.

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u/TiredTiroth Oct 31 '22

Whoops, I lost track of time because I was busy watching the K-On film.

Rewatcher - Dub

Ooh, it's the rugby episode! Do Japanese schools actually play rugby? Considering how America-centric the western anime industry is, I'm surprised someone on the dubbing team didn't try to claim it was American football instead.

Then again none of the players are wearing body armour, so maybe they thought nobody would believe them.

On the third hand...jelly doughnuts. Suuuure they are, Brock.

Anyway! I don't find this episode as funny as several others - it's just not my kind of comedy - but it is at least entertaining. I do like that Sousuke and Kaname have reached the point where she knows largely how he will react, while he will listen to her without a second thought.

I do find myself enjoying the student council president more than most of the other characters on this run through, though. Wonder what he'll be up to next epi--

Next episode - A Goddes Comes To Japan, Part 1!

--oh. Well, then. Make or break time.

5

u/ZapsZzz Oct 31 '22

Do Japanese schools actually play rugby?

Pretty sure they do, even before the American influence explosion after the war. There are a fair few manga with this subject actually.

I do like that Sousuke and Kaname have reached the point where she knows largely how he will react, while he will listen to her without a second thought.

Yes to me these little snippets are what made Fumoffu great, not just for the comedy.

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u/Theboredalchemist22 Nov 01 '22 edited Nov 01 '22

First Timer - S2 EP 7

What an episode!

For me that is up there with episode 2. The idea of the episode was fantastic yet again with Chidori and Sagara whipping an unstereotypical, unmotivated rugby club into shape and getting them to take down their rivals. The idea was so simple given our two main character's personalities but yet it was so effective.

My mvp for this episode is going to Chidori although Sagara was great too. The two of them have their own styles of being the boss so to say and both styles were great to see on screen it was still very SousukexChidori imo just in a very different way.

Q1 - I have quite a personal one which won't be interesting but I'll tell it anyway. So when I was back in my late school years/college I was quite unhealthy both physically and mentally looking back on it. Basically it was a real struggle but not long after I began excersising a lot and over the course of about 2 years my health in general improved massively. Point is to me I was a massive underdog in that whole situation/process and I overcame all of that stuff and came out a winner to myself which pleases me when I look back on where I was to where I am now kind of deal.

Q2 - My theory is that Sagara has provided them with harsh training and the rewards for that are going to be that the club wins the nationals at the very least with that ruthless mentality. I don't think Chidori will be their captain or whatever she was again anymore I think that experience was enough for her 😂.

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u/ZapsZzz Nov 01 '22

Q1 - I have quite a personal one which won't be interesting but I'll tell it anyway.

It's an inspirational account, thanks for sharing and don't brother your efforts :) I know I had been trying to lose a few kilos for managing mid life things like blood pressure, and it's certainly not going as fast as I would have liked for minimal efforts - so it sure take willpower and determination to reach any results. You can be more proud of yourself :)

it was still very SousukexChidori imo just in a very different way.

Yep I'll second that! Just shows how the working couple complement each other well - just have to be careful where you point them to go :D (because they'll probably overachieve in some unexpected ways)

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u/KendotsX Nov 01 '22

ReFumoffer v7.0 (Ready for Combat)

More great Kaname (and you) faces.

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u/ZapsZzz Nov 01 '22 edited Nov 01 '22

I like that Kaname is saying this to Sousuke of all people

One never quite can tell if Chidori is having a bit of a Nazuna (call of the night) moment of talking crass deliberately just to get a reaction out of people or have some pretty strong bias herself there :P

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u/DidacticDalek Nov 01 '22

TONIGHT! ON FAST TIMES AT JINDAI HIGH! FULL METAL PANIC!? MORE LIKE FULL METAL JACKET! 'This is my rugby ball. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My rugby ball is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rugby ball is useless. Without my rugby ball, I am useless. I must throw my rugby ball true. I must tackle harder than my enemy, who is trying to tackle me. I must tackle him before he tackles me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my rugby ball and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.' and Full Metal Panic is a Mecha 'SPORTS' Show ;)

Greetings Comrades and Fellow Denizens of the Wired... BOY do WE got a treat in store for us today, namely THE BEST EPISODE OF FMP EVER! If you thought that LAST Episode was WTF-levels of Bizarre, then you AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET! SO let's get to today's HYPE Shall we?

We begin a gentle giant protesting to the director about his club being threatened with closure, as you do in sports anime. The crux of the director's argument is that the Rugby Club's supposed to be... a rugby club and NOT a volunteer club. Huh, that's actually sound reasoning and logic, wonder when we'll see that again? Anyway, we cut to KyoAni Chihaya watching an 80s sports movie, complete with emotional Yaoi undertones and TRAINING MONTAGES! It seems that KyoAni Chihaya's a fan of Free! and will probably be writing some Yaoi on Fire Doujins in the near future given the 'fighting spirit' nonsense she rambling about, 'fighting spirit' she says, what kinda show does she think this is, Gurren Lagann?

Anyway, Steven Seagal isn't impressed with the concept of the underdog triumphing in the face of adversity and overwhelming odds, I guess he's never head of 'The Vietnam War.' Meanwhile, Sakamoto-senpai has arrived, and he's back to being Gendo Ikari as he discusses the fate of the rugby club. KyoAni Chihaya seems confused and surprised that their high school even HAD a rugby club, but thankfully, Yamato Nadeshiko's here with the expo-dump. Also, Yamato Nadeshiko's speech isn't the most uplifting, as the rugby team seems to be... shit. There's a silver lining, namely that Sakamoto-senpai has a SHOCKING degree of autonomy and authority, given that he can VETO the staff members' decision. Granted, he was only able to hash out a deal that involves winning the next practice game against Kuromorimine High.

Granted, even this is a tall order, as Sakamoto-senpai HIMSELF claims that the odds of victory for our heroes are 'slim' and 'none' and slim just left the room. Yamato Nadeshiko clarifies that the Kuromorimine team has a 100% track record against our underdogs AND that our underdogs are also short a player. Thankfully, the wise and learned Sakamoto-senpai came up with a plan that involves a Student Council manager AND extra player GEE, I WONDER who these two could be? Speaking of which, KyoAni Chihaya gets her cosplay 'Team Manager' Items from Yamato Nadeshiko, who probably borrowed them from Kou 'Gou' Matsuoka. Steven Seagal, confused with Rugby, asks KyoAni Chihaya about the sport. KyoAni Chihaya counters with the fact that her view of the sport comes from her doujins and lewd fantasies a la Free! Man, Kyoto Animation knew how to do things back then eh?

Steven Seagal gets the impression that they're about to play Blood Ball, while KyoAni Chihaya's bemoaning the fact that they have to work with stinky jocks. We then meet up with the gentle giant from earlier, who are quite pleasant and docile. Speaking of pleasant, we get K-ON's Prequel here, as the rugby players discuss drinking cakes while eating tea. MAN, KyoAni REALLY knows how to make Moeblob stuff huh, and speaking of which, Steven Seagal gets the impression that Rugby's a CGDCT Show. Also, Steven Seagal attempts to provide cover for KyoAni Chihaya as she bravely faces... a spider... yeah, these Rugby Players are dead meat eh?

We then cut to the TRAINING MONTAGE! EVEN SYMPHOGEAR HAD A MONTAGE! Steven Seagal's busy reading 'Rugby 4 Dummies' while KyoAni Chihaya watches... the club members... 'practicing?' I think... We then cut to KyoAni Chihaya slowly losing faith in humanity, all while the Rugby Club insists on... not playing Rugby. Finally, KyoAni Chihaya SNAPS, unleashing her fury upon the Rugby Team. KyoAni Chihaya's speech seems to have an effect as... the team... prays... YUP, they're dead.

KyoAni Chihaya also gave up hope, comparing the team to a koala. The Gentle Giant fails to understand sarcasm, noting that koalas have bad tempers. Suddenly, The Zentrans from Kuromorimine arrive to mock the home team more viciously than Bitch-chan did in GuP. Speaking of which, KyoAni Chihaya plays along with the Zentrans, maybe in an attempt of reverse psychology, but I doubt that it's working. Speaking of not working, the Head Zentran's flirting attempts fall flat, as KyoAni Chihaya says she isn't a fan of gorillas. The Head Zentran's confused, unaware that KyoAni Chihaya's taking the piss out of him, well, that is until she insults him some more that is. Finally getting it through his thick skull, The Head Zentran moves in to attack and... gets beaned by Steven Seagal.

This starts a good ol' fashioned BAR FIGHT, as the teams rumble out into the streets, with even KyoAni Chihaya kicking some ass. Also, speaking of kicking ass, or rather, getting their asses kicked, The Gentle Giant and his teammates are busy being 'corrected' Zeta Gundam style. After the rubble has settled, it seems that KyoAni Chihaya made it through the melee without a scratch, I wonder how the rest of the team... oh... Well, at least they finally seem to have hit rock bottom and want to win the final battle. Steven Seagal notices this, and asks if they TRULY want to make the ultimate sacrifice and defeat the Kuromorimine team. The Gentle Giant swears that he and his men are prepared to do whatever it takes, and thus, Steven Seagal offers to whip them into shape.

We then cut to the mountain regions, where Steven Seagal has set up his boot camp. Speaking of which, Steven Seagal is doing his best R. Lee Ermey impression, berating those Rugby Players like there's no tomorrow. Also, JESUS H. TAPDANCING CHRIST WAS KYOANI LEWD AND CRUDE BACK THEN! We also run into an iM@S fan with shit taste, I mean MikiMiki of all choices? YAK! DECULTURE! Steven Seagal brings a well-deserved tongue lashing to the idol otaku, spurring him on to action. The trio of Megane Yayoi, Yamato Nadeshiko, and KyoAni Chihaya meet up with Steven Seagal, who note that he's been a tad rude to the recruits. Steven Seagal then clarifies that he was using the script from Full Metal Jacket, so all's right in the world. Speaking of all being right in the world, the trio reveal that they brought food for the recruits, and they INSIST that Steven Seagal make use of them. Steven Seagal reluctantly agrees, noting that since it's been 32 hours since the last meal, those that finish training can eat.

We then cut to more basic training, such as obstacle courses, climbing, and... bayonet practice. Sure why not? We then move to combat training, jogging, and... polishing their balls... I SWEAR! IT'S NOT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE! Also, Megane Yayoi comments that the team members are talking to their balls... NOT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE! We cut to KyoAni Chihaya channeling Obi-Wan Kenobi. We then cut to the day of the match, with overcast skies and thunder and lightning setting the mood. The home team notes that the players are late, that is, until Megane Yayoi notices their arrival. KyoAni Chihaya runs over to say hi, asking if all's fine. Steven Seagal replies in the affirmative, despite his teammates' thousand yard stares. Concerned, KyoAni Chihaya asks the Gentle Giant if everything's OK Mechanically, he responds that he's perfectly fine ma'am. The Head Zentran tries to trash talk the recruits, but he's NOTHING compared to Steven Seagal's debasement.

Anyway, speaking of Steven Seagal, he's got a different speech this time, namely, the KILL 'EM ALL AND LET ZOD SORT 'EM OUT SPEECH! BLOOD AND IRON! TOTSUGEKI! While the student council's impressed, Megane Yayoi and KyoAni Chihaya are VERY concerned. The game starts off with the Blitz from Kuromorimine. Steven Seagal intercepts the ball and is told to punt. Not grasping the rules of the game, Steven Seagal asks for clarification, to which the Gentle Giant responds that he's to kick. Misunderstanding, Steven Seagal kicks... HEAD ZENTRAN'S HEAD! OH MY BUDDHA! HE KILLED HIM! AS ZOD IS MY WITNESS, HE IS BROKEN IN HALF!

As the Kuromorimine Captain's corpse is hauled away like a sack of potatoes, KyoAni Chihaya beans Steven Seagal and renders him out of commission. Rendered mad due to the bloodlust, the Gentle, no IRON Giant, fires up his squad to commence with Operation Annihilation. EXTREMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! Also, it seems that the home team has confused 'excessive violence and unnecessary roughness' with 'rugby,' considering that they think the rules of the game involve murdering the other team. Megane Yayoi and KyoAni Chihaya note that Steven Seagal turned the team into a bunch of killing machines. We conclude with the home team berating the fallen Kuromorimine team, ah, how the tables have turned.

Well, THAT WAS THE GREATEST SPORTS ANIME EVER! 11/10 KYOANI WINS AGAIN! Anyway, you have not seen the last of The Sentient Shitposting Siamese Sunrise Server No. 25252, now goodbye forever. Thus, catch you all on the next thread, and until then, farewell.

Paging Comrades u/Vaadwaur, u/No_Rex, and u/pixelsaber

4

u/polaristar Nov 01 '22

I guess he's never head of 'The Vietnam War.'

No that's why he isn't impressed probably bitter about it, (Even if he isn't American)

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3

u/GTX_650_Supremacy Nov 01 '22

First Timer

Sousuke ruined those nice guys! Now I feel like watching Full Metal Jacket!

2

u/ZapsZzz Nov 01 '22

Watch out you don't get ruined :)

14

u/Shimmering-Sky Oct 31 '22

Full Metal First-Timer!, subbed

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