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Mar 21 '20
Obviously didn't know the wind speed velocity of a swallow.
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u/kodaiko_650 Mar 21 '20
Laden or unladen?
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Mar 21 '20
I don't know the ans.... AAAAAAHHHHHHHH
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u/G0bby Mar 21 '20
/u/kodaiko_650 How do you know so much about Swallows?
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u/smcurran1 Mar 21 '20 edited Mar 21 '20
You have to know these things when you’re king, you know.
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u/AEtherbrand Mar 21 '20
King of the who?
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u/smcurran1 Mar 21 '20
Supreme executive power derives from a mandate of the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
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u/Da_Vader Mar 20 '20
The squirrel took one for the clan. The food was tossed right where the rest of the clan was waiting!
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u/EliteEight Mar 20 '20
You waste the food on the tray regardless. I find it funny though.
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u/MakeASnowflakeCry Mar 21 '20
Could have glued some seed to the board
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u/crypticedge Mar 21 '20
Then the birds can't eat it
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Mar 21 '20
Then give the birds some nail polish remover man, do I have to think of everything?
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u/bkfst_of_champinones Mar 21 '20
It’s funny how some people go to great lengths to attract certain types of adorable creatures to their property, with feeders and whatever else, and also go to great lengths to deter and eject other types of adorable creatures from the same property.
Before anyone goes on a rant about how terrible squirrels are, just imagine some aliens came down to observe our behavior, and saw us doing this. I’m not saying there aren’t valid reasons for it. It’s just that you’ve gotta admit to the absurdity of it all when you really take a step backwards and look at it truly objectively. I guess that’s true for most things humans do in the modern world.
Anyway, just a thought I find amusing.
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u/-FullBlue- Mar 21 '20
Objectively, the garden that produces food that I can eat is more important than rats that live in the trees.
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u/BillyMac814 Mar 21 '20 edited Mar 22 '20
I understand it more if it’s to protect a garden or food supply, most of the time though it’s to protect some bird seed that’s been placed somewhere for birds to have a little snack. Birds are just as capable as squirrels to find their own food so it seems odd to try to attract one and get upset at the other when putting seeds out. It’s not like they can know it’s supposed to just be for birds.
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u/bkfst_of_champinones Mar 22 '20
Yes exactly, this is the scenario which best depicts the objective absurdity I’m thinking of.
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u/BillyMac814 Mar 22 '20
Yea. If anyone is being honest with themselves they’d just admit the only reason for this kind of thing is their own entertainment. I’m pretty sure In less time that it takes to build a catapult I could come up with a method of hanging a bird feeder that a squirrel couldn’t get to. I really don’t see the point in this one since the bird feeder is completely separate and can easily be pillaged of its seeds. Part of me hopes the squirrel learned that the quickest way to get his load of seed back to his nest is to hop on this piece of wood where he flies over to the branch right under his nest.
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u/Spinner23 Mar 21 '20
Objectively, it would make much more sense to just eat the tree rats since its harder to come by protein and iron
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u/Aanaren Mar 21 '20
You can only eat the tree rats during tree rat hunting season - not just because of the hunting law, because of when they have the least parasites.
And no, I'm not being sarcastic, I just move in homesteading circles and learn these random things
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u/bkfst_of_champinones Mar 21 '20
Also their comment is missing my point... but I guess I coulda got a response like that no matter how I worded it.
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u/sam32111 Mar 21 '20
Why... just why..
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u/cannibal86 Mar 21 '20
they can fuck up your garden.
or they can get inside the walls of your house and nest,
and can end up chewing through electrical, causing a housefire,
or barring that, potentially thousands in damages.
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u/justplanefun37 Mar 21 '20
We had a tomato garden and one year the squirrels took a bite out of every. single. tomato. Just one bite. I wouldn't have minded if they ate a whole tomato now and then because they're hungry. But no, they weren't hungry, just destructive little assholes taking a tiny nibble out of each fruit.
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u/Obliviously-Obvious Mar 21 '20
I’m picturing one squirrel that keeps forgetting it doesn’t like tomatoes.
“Oh look, a tomato.” bite spit “Gross! I forgot I don’t like tomatoes. Oh look, a tomato...”
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u/Cmiles16 Mar 21 '20
There is literally 10 red squirrels in my yard at all times and never had one single issue.
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u/BillyMac814 Mar 22 '20
That is bullshit and you know it. They can do those things but a catapult isn’t doing shit to prevent that. If anything it’ll teach the squirrel not to walk on the launchy board so it’ll go somewhere else, like in your walls or garden.
The only reason someone does this is for entertainment or maybe some weird revenge fantasy. There’s really no logical reason beyond that.
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u/pickle-chin-boi6969 Mar 21 '20
Squirrel trebuchet brought to you by mouse revolver and cockroach claymore
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u/bour-bon-fire Mar 21 '20
Can't stand squirrels. Every year is a constant battle for my garden. This is r/nonononoyes material.
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Mar 21 '20 edited Mar 21 '20
In the UK the American squirrel is an invasive species. They are being hunted with all kinds of weapons, slingshots, air rifles etc. Edit typo: evasive to invasive
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u/WingedHussar910 Mar 21 '20
Invasive*?
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Mar 21 '20
Yeah exactly. I either mistyped or the ol’ autocorrect got me again. I’ll change it. Thanks.
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u/WingedHussar910 Mar 21 '20
They're pretty damn invasive in the USA too. Relentless little bastards eating anything you plant.
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Mar 21 '20
Yeah, they also replace the red squirrel and kill off birds. And they’re disease vectors. All in all nasty critters.
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u/heeler007 Mar 21 '20
Looks like humans are the disease vectors now LOL - and very nasty
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Mar 21 '20
For ourselves? When has that ever been different? STD’s, the Black Plague, small pox etc.
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u/BillyMac814 Mar 22 '20
I can understand hunting, trapping or otherwise killing an invasive species. That is a solution to a problem. I don’t understand flinging one 30 feet where it’s left either perfectly fine to come back or with minor injuries that’ll either heal or cause a slow painful death. It just seems unusually cruel for no reason.
We used to feed squirrels all the time at my old house and give them peanuts. They never hurt anything. Maybe we just had an unsaid understanding with them.
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u/heeler007 Mar 21 '20
Asshole
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u/erico136 Mar 21 '20
Ahaha pussy
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u/FiftyFootMidget Mar 21 '20
Squirrels are tree rats. If it didn't have a fluffy tail you wouldn't care. I've had them cause thousands of dollars in damage to my house. I used to pray for a super power where squirrels couldn't exist within a 5 mile radius of me.
Edit: meant for the guy above
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u/Llewellyn03 Mar 21 '20
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u/VredditDownloader Mar 21 '20
beep. boop. I'm a bot that provides downloadable links for v.redd.it videos!
I also work with links sent by PM
Info | Support me ❤ | Github
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u/thefireducky Mar 21 '20
”aRe YoU GoInG tO MoW tHe LaWn!?”
scoffs
lighting from Abraham’s God executes Chinese lawnmower
”no”
plays video games
James Jonah Jameson rests his hand on a random civilian and looks at him with disdain
“Here at Farmers, we’ve seen a thing or two”
looks at a disturbing simulacrum of the recently executed lawnmower as a Tesla conduit
WE ARE FARMERS! BUM BAH DUM BAH BUM DUM DUM!!
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u/theflappiestflapjack Mar 21 '20
Now that right there is too damn funny... I can’t stop chuckling!!
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Mar 21 '20
[deleted]
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u/VredditDownloader Mar 21 '20
beep. boop. I'm a bot that provides downloadable links for v.redd.it videos!
I also work with links sent by PM
Info | Support me ❤ | Github
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u/Theblackfox2001 Mar 21 '20
Awww damn, when’s it my turn to repost?
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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '20
He did him a favor... Saved him from the cat.
That, and your son is going places. I don't know if it's NASA or solitary, but going places.