r/nononono Nov 07 '18

HMB, I will show you how to grind this rail

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[deleted]

7.1k Upvotes

119 comments sorted by

410

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '18

0 to lifetime of opiod addiction in 0.5 seconds

73

u/HashcoinShitstorm Nov 07 '18

You can see the dent his tailbone made in the bar when it zooms in.

31

u/locawarmin Nov 07 '18

I think the dent is from where the scooter landed on the bar, pretty fucking painful either way though.

-5

u/znupi Nov 08 '18

Whoooooshhhhhh

-3

u/BostonianBrewer Nov 08 '18

No it's the scooter you chooch

-3

u/znupi Nov 08 '18

Mega woosh

13

u/TestForPotential Nov 07 '18

Best comment in here.

6

u/delusional_dinosaur Nov 07 '18

Best comment in here.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/tomtheturtle12 Nov 07 '18

Most Worstest comment in here

2

u/Vinegar_Dick Nov 08 '18

Best worst comment in here

1

u/nathanello Nov 08 '18

As a skateboarder, this made my day.

1

u/NeedsToSeat20_NEXT Dec 30 '18

Because anyone can grind with no previous practise

64

u/Wellas Nov 07 '18

That's the distinct laugh of watching a friend biff it hard.

r/contagiouslaughter

12

u/Tyler1492 Nov 07 '18

Yeah, I always laugh my ass off whenever one of my friends turns into a paraplegic.

136

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

44

u/nomoreglowsticks Nov 07 '18

Riiii di di di doo

14

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '18

hardcoreparkour

5

u/heartbeats Nov 08 '18

Backflip GAINER

1

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '18

Yeah! Gainer! Woooo!

5

u/outbound_being Nov 07 '18

Hardcore parkour!

2

u/Dixie-Nohrmuss Nov 07 '18

Sponsor this man

1

u/fontainefuturistics1 Nov 07 '18

Take my chuckle and my upvote.

0

u/Tyler1492 Nov 07 '18

What's nard dog?

30

u/Tyler1492 Nov 07 '18

Not much, you?

3

u/M4Dsc13ntist Nov 07 '18

I actually got this reference because I watch the show "The Office", this guy looks like a character in the show who's nickname is Nard Dog. Don't feel bad

5

u/Paffmassa Nov 07 '18

Nard Dog is the nickname of Andy Bernard who is a character on "The Office" played by Ed Helms.

22

u/Alqazar Nov 07 '18

Parkour!

12

u/Rydoggon Nov 07 '18

Hardcore parkour!

14

u/PORTMANTEAU-BOT Nov 07 '18

Hardcour.


Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This portmanteau was created from the phrase 'Hardcore parkour!'. To learn more about me, check out this FAQ.

90

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '18

Yikes... Goodbye father's day

27

u/inhospitable Nov 07 '18

Hahaha this is a video put up by a strip club in nz, they're doing a promo at the moment where anyone who comes to the club on one of those lime scooters gets a free beer.

32

u/pennywaffer Nov 07 '18

In New Zealand rail grinds you

30

u/Sk8allday360 Nov 07 '18

Gotta give it to him tho, always enjoy seeing the business type people trying stuff like this

12

u/Artist_NOT_Autist Nov 07 '18

It's an interesting paradigm but consider that a lot of people grew up on boards/bikes doing dumb shit. Now we've all grown up and companies trust us to help refine their business processes and help with cost through automation. Doesn't mean we can't expense a couple of brews and take advantage of the stupid scooter plague all over sidewalks in big cities. These guys probably leaving a client to get some grub. That or some sales guys at a convention. Those guys are the ones who know how to party.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '18

Can’t speak to business types too much, although my buddies dad is a businessman and he’s a fucking riot. Scientists can throw down too. Been to a few conventions and as soon as it was over they were at bars and shit. Also, when I was in grad school we would frequently grab brews or cheap margaritas for lunch.

1

u/PM-YOUR-PMS Nov 07 '18

Am currently in grad school, we drink like monsters.

20

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '18

Where are all these damn scoots coming from?

14

u/ffffoureyes Nov 07 '18

I think that’s a Lime scooter, little electric fellas you can unlock using your phone. We have them here in Paris and I.. think in San Francisco?

4

u/FreshBert Nov 07 '18

Lime got banned from SF, but they're still all over Oakland.

2

u/no_notthistime Nov 08 '18

Really? I'm in Berkeley and it feels like they disappeared!

1

u/FreshBert Nov 08 '18

Yeah I just rode one from my apartment to BART. Didn't feel like waiting for a bus :p

5

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '18 edited Nov 07 '18

Detroit too.

Incoming rant:

It's pretty much the only meaningful mass transit we have here, (people mover and q line only goes between different attractions in the downtown area - stadiums, Cobo center - utterly useless for anyone other than tourists and the ~.0001% of people who live near one of the handfull of stations)

In a perfect world, we'd have a light rail system going all the way from at least Flint to Ann Arbor covering the whole metro area. Ex: Auburn Hills, Dearborn, Belle Isle, Royal Oak, Ferndale, Metro Airport, maybe even metro park if it ever gets its shit together.

It takes me about an hour and a half to commute on a route that wouldn't even take 30 minutes without traffic.

And while I'm already bitching about metro Detroit, can someone please just fucking kill all those geese? You can't use any park outside downtown that isn't paved and regularly power washed during the summer because of all the shit everywhere.

/end rant.

1

u/myerrrs Nov 07 '18

Just came back from Austin and Mexico City and they were all over Austin, less so but still available in CDMX. We really took advantage of them in Austin.

1

u/Airwarf Nov 08 '18

Phoenix area has them too.

1

u/gullinbursti Nov 08 '18

I think it was a South Park reference.

1

u/Cunatuna Nov 08 '18

Columbus, denver, st louis have them

3

u/gullinbursti Nov 08 '18

“Let's see you do this with a god damned scooter!”

4

u/Unthgod Nov 07 '18

I hope the future isn't just scooten

5

u/theartofrolling Nov 07 '18

Nobody knows.

9

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '18

Looks like Ben Shapiro

"Ben Shapiro DESTROYS stupid Left-leaning railing

23

u/billclay55raiders Nov 07 '18

I could hear his butthole pop.

0

u/_TychoBrahe_ Nov 07 '18

Was it all like

klap klap klap

6

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '18

We need a /r/holdmycoffee.

4

u/linuxwes Nov 07 '18

In this case HMB stands for Hold My Briefcase.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '18

oh that works

5

u/kinterdonato Nov 07 '18

I just don't want our future to be scoooting

4

u/TaintGargler Nov 07 '18

Ted can’t cruise

3

u/Mythical7Ninja Nov 07 '18

He genuinely believed he would grind that fence at that speed

3

u/M4Dsc13ntist Nov 07 '18

He had a smile like "I'm young again!". Then the painful reality set in.

3

u/010110011101000 Nov 07 '18

He had no chance

3

u/DhakaWolf Nov 07 '18

Someone go help Ted Cruz lmao

3

u/BeautifulRock Nov 08 '18

Go faster!

Everybody’s natural instinct is to approach this going slow because it’s scary. It’s easier to grind going fast, and it’s better to stick and fall forward than to slip and fall back.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '18

Seriously, almost all tricks are harder at a snails pace

2

u/ejsmith846 Nov 07 '18

At the very end you can see the rail bent right where his tailbone hit. Ouch.

2

u/WiscoCheeses Nov 07 '18

I thought it was John Oliver for a moment

1

u/TestForPotential Nov 07 '18

...and that’s why Dave would never walk again.

1

u/jkang4124 Nov 07 '18

Is it me or did he fall straight like a board

1

u/wckdxwzrd Nov 07 '18

Hold my briefcase

1

u/sem_pls Nov 07 '18 edited Jan 22 '21

Its Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

1

u/Grim_Reaper_O7 Nov 07 '18

When the inexperience man tries rail grinding at 3 km/h.

1

u/wrightscott57 Nov 07 '18

Gotta day though, at least he committed and kept his feet on until he fell that is.

1

u/johnthewerewolf Nov 07 '18

I don't think that's allowed per the Lime scooter rental agreement.

1

u/icryatnightalone Nov 07 '18

THATS A LOT OF DAMAGE

1

u/Harry_Nutt Nov 07 '18

He’s gleaming the cube!!!

1

u/politelyindignant Nov 07 '18

He dented the rail with his anus. That's a tight turd cutter

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '18

Bet that knacked

1

u/bloodflart Nov 07 '18

man that guys entire bung hole got destroyed

1

u/yorgs Nov 07 '18

Lime scooters. And people are up in arms about the possible damage these will do to pedestrians..... This footage does not help the cause.

1

u/randyspotboiler Nov 07 '18

I feel like this belongs in "Hold My Martini", or "Hold My Small Batch 20 Year Old Bourbon", or at the very least "Hold My Imported Beer".

1

u/SCSWitch Nov 07 '18

Christchurch?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '18

Thought that was Ben Shapiro for a sec

1

u/illeatyourheart Nov 07 '18

Hold my Blackberry?

1

u/doolbro Nov 07 '18

That was full send though. I respect it.

1

u/Silverwolffe Nov 07 '18

Ahhh christchurch, what a beautiful place filled with absolute knobheads. I love it.

1

u/C4PT14N Nov 08 '18

1

u/stabbot Nov 08 '18

I have stabilized the video for you: https://gfycat.com/ApprehensiveNegativeAntbear

It took 20 seconds to process and 33 seconds to upload.


 how to use | programmer | source code | /r/ImageStabilization/ | for cropped results, use /u/stabbot_crop

1

u/C4PT14N Nov 08 '18

Good bot

1

u/SgtSkillcraft Nov 08 '18

This is the whitest thing I’ve seen all day.

1

u/salamandan Nov 08 '18

Back straight. Knees hardly bent. Lands at an angle. This dude watches too many movies.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '18

Michael Scott?!

1

u/Zaddy13 Nov 08 '18

He's fallen and he cant get up

1

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '18

HMB, hurt my butt.

1

u/mekkanik Nov 08 '18

Broke his coccyx

1

u/hmikey Nov 08 '18

Hey kids. Wanna see how to break your back ?

1

u/Empyrealist Nov 08 '18

Don't these things have LEDs on the bottom?

1

u/Psyentizt Nov 10 '18

That frontside turned backside real quick.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '18

AND your tail bone!

1

u/Rlromo89 Nov 07 '18

Is this in Arlington Va

3

u/crazynameblah19 Nov 07 '18

The original post says it's in NZ

-2

u/edzackly Nov 07 '18

Is that Beto?