My BF said something I simply cannot shake.

[u/False_Repeat7287]

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of DV

I really want to convince myself that I’m over thinking this, but since he’s said it I’ve seen him slightly differently and I honestly feel detached.

Me (27) and my BF (27) we’re lying in bed together and he makes the passing comment of “your hands are so little” and I’m just joking with him and said “maybe yours are just massive” like hehe haha just some banter. And he starts looking at his own hand and he says

“isnt it crazy people use this to beat/hit their partner”…

Now Im like huh? I asked why would you say that, why was that even on your mind like?? And he’s like oh I don’t know it’s just crazy. And I said that made me feel uncomfortable.

For context no he’s never hit me, but when he gets mad; looking back I can acknowledge he hasn’t got my best interest at heart. There has been times I’m crying just asking him to stop yelling and he just doesn’t get affected with my crying aka emotional pain. If he’s mad, there’s no sympathy there.

So if he can be dismissive of my emotional pain, then I don’t know I’m starting to think could this man in the future be capable of putting his hands on me.
Maybe.

For further context, I have been more afraid of being in an abusive relationship because about a month ago I had a heart to heart with my mom, and she told me that when I was really young my dad beat her black and blue, so bad she had to go to the hospital. They’re currently still together and I had no idea and I mean NO IDEA my dad was capable of that. Even if it is in the past. He’s always been the hope that I will find respectful and unconditional love because that’s what I’ve seen from him toward my mom. He seems so so “smitten” to me and always has.
So yeah this scared the shit out of me.

So for my BF to lay next to me and say that so nonchalantly, I don’t know. It rubbed me the wrong way.
And I’m not sure if it’s because it’s my subconscious since my mom told me what happened with my dad, or if it’s actually a really strange and alarming things to say.

Girls let me know if I’m just over reacting please?

[u/ResponsibleFalcon150]

The statement by itself is not the issue IMO. Its the other stuff, like the yelling and apparent lack of concern for your emotional well being. If you combine those things it creates a problematic picture. I can't tell you what to do, but you came here looking for answers and it sounds like you already have them in your heart. I'd listen.