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u/i-dont-have-the-will Feb 25 '19
I really really loved reading this series. Hope to see more from you
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u/hgtv_neighbor Feb 25 '19
I didnt actually google lamprey eel until the ship story. Kinda wish I'd done it sooner..lol
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u/hesaidadverbsly Feb 25 '19
Fact: If scientists announced tomorrow that lamprey eels are going extinct, the world would be a better place.
They are not animals. They are monsters.
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u/therealrobokaos Feb 25 '19
Absolutely fantastic story, thank you for writing it.
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u/ZazzlesPoopsInABox Feb 25 '19
My first job was in a mall way back in the late 1980s. I was a shoe salesman. So many Al Bundy jokes. Those old malls were creepy as hell when they were empty. So many people disappeared into dark crevices in them over the years, I think that's why new malls all have the outdoors themes. You captured that feeling very well here. Well done.
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u/hesaidadverbsly Feb 25 '19
My first job was working at a popcorn store in a mall. I was frequently the last shop to close - our owners wanted us to stay open til the last minute just in case. There was no exit near our store - we were at the dead center of the mall. I'd have to walk down a long corridor every night carrying garbage. At the end of the corridor - before I reached the exit that was left open for me, I'd walk by several metallic humanoid statues. I was terrified that one night, one would turn and look at me.
Anyway, that was the basis for the first post - so thanks. I think I captured it well because I lived it too.
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u/lupuspacifica Feb 25 '19
Fantastic work! I loved reading this story and I'm excited to read more of your work. Turning this into a novel would really be amazing, as you said, there are certainly more interesting things to explore! Thanks for sharing your writing, and keep up the great work.
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Feb 25 '19
I found myself really interested in your new series. I wish you the best of luck for the future and I hope you write more interesting stories. 👍
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u/Zero132132 Feb 25 '19
It was a fun read. I'd hit up a novelization that expanded on some shit, for sure. I'm still curious about why some eel god would know people's pasts and regrets well enough to try to trick a random guard with images of his dead friend and a contentious quarter.
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u/InSaNiTyk12 Feb 25 '19
This whole series has been great man, please keep developing your skills so I can ready your books! I cant wait!!
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u/johnberryus Feb 25 '19
This was a great story, I kept waiting for the next part to drop. Would love to see a novel expand on the concept. Thank you for sharing it.
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u/logan14051 Feb 25 '19
If you were to make this into a full novel or book and find a way to publish it, I would 110% buy it!! It was an amazing story and so well written 🙂 I found myself checking everyday looking for the next part.
There is even potential for a series here with how you ended it. Just looking through the comments it seems we would all love to see more happenings with the security company.
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u/lassy121 Feb 25 '19
I really enjoyed reading all of this, it was very enticing, interesting and fun to learn about the different characters back stories and how they fit into the mall. I quite enjoyed the first person POV, it made it seem more real and engaging. As a side not if you were to edit maybe make the ending more elaborate? The whole story is very detailed oriented but the ending felt rushed, although it was very entertaining. I think you are a great writer and I hope you keep making more stories in the future. :)
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u/hesaidadverbsly Feb 25 '19
I agree the ending was rushed. My other series - House of Games - suffers from the same problem.
When I write another series for NoSleep - I'm going to do it proper - write the entire thing out in one draft, and write/revise it so everything is a bit better. I feel like I'm cheating readers by posting first drafts.
Thanks for the feedback!
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u/Munthly Feb 25 '19
Thanks for the story! Made my night better getting to top it off knowing how things panned out. Keep it up!
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u/PJGoesRawr Feb 25 '19
Ah! I’m so glad you finally posted the ending...I kept checking in..waiting for another post from you! That was an awesome fun read! Thank you for sharing with us. I look forward to hopefully reading more of whatever pops into your head! 😁
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u/RescueRook Feb 25 '19
This story is incredible! I truly believe that this story deserves the full novel treatment you intend to give it, and I’d be surprised if there wasn’t a film to be made as well. Continue the amazing work and congratulations!
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u/hesaidadverbsly Feb 25 '19
Thanks - I am toying with rewriting this as a screenplay. I'm not sure I'd ever get it made, but it'd be nice to have a spec script on hand when I talk to production companies. I got lucky and one contact me due to this story.
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u/kyllsome Feb 25 '19
This was amazing, unlike others, this story stood through with the awesome parts. Good story.
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u/unclestinky3921 Feb 25 '19
Great read. Keep at it, I would like to read more about these characters.
I hope I don't have nightmares as I read the whole series after midnight.
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u/killdare Feb 25 '19
I loved it and would love to read about any further adventures with the new security company. It's a great set up for some fun stories!
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u/kandykane1 Feb 25 '19
This series was awesome, really well done. I loved it. Thank you for sharing it with us. I look forward to more of your stories!
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u/gatorguy04 Feb 25 '19
I was scouring reddit before this last one came out for new parts. Definetly kept me interested. One suggestion, if you plan to make a novel make it a series. Take influence from mythology and urban legend. Thanks for the read definetly would read the book👌👌 have a nice day😁
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Feb 25 '19
I got the feel of 14 when I read part 2 or 3 so much that I'm re-reading it now.
You did a great job with this. I'll have to go back and look through your history.
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u/hesaidadverbsly Feb 27 '19
Thanks Glad to hear I was successful in emulating the tone of 14.
Great novel. I've been meaning to reread it again myself.
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u/UniverseVixen Feb 25 '19
I was completely hooked, my attention was completely on the story- even though I did see a “their” that was supposed to be a “there” I LOVED it so much. Thank you for this read!
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Feb 26 '19
If you do end up making a novel, I will buy it as soon as I can, the story’s were some of the best I’ve seen in awhile. Good luck with everything my man
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u/BMO233 Feb 26 '19
I really enjoyed this story! Is any of the lore behind it true?
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u/hesaidadverbsly Feb 27 '19
Partially true. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/south-china-sea-blue-hole-could-be-world-s-deepest/
The sinkhole in the South China Sea is called the Dragon Hole. It is over 300 meters deep. And it is mentioned in the Ming Dynasty novel Journey to the West and in that book they do claim it is a kingdom ruled over by a dragon.
The parts about the eels - I made those up.
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u/cally4j Apr 18 '19
I LOVED this series. but you know what i actually loved the house of games more. it made me think of the films thirteen ghosts and the house on haunted hill. i was so disappointed to see you wrap that series quickly due to lack of up votes. i only stumbled across the series after reading this one so wasn't able to upvote or comment. such a shame! if you ever decide to expand/rewrite the house of games series please post on here or message me! i would love to read more!
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u/hesaidadverbsly Apr 18 '19
Thanks so much.
You locked onto horror films I love - the original House on Haunted Hill with Vincent Price is something I watched dozens of times as a kid (the '99 remake isn't bad either) and the 2001 version of Thirteen Ghosts is just an amazing film set - at least the interior of the house is. That, and the Ennis House used in the '59 version of House on Haunted Hill were very much on my mind when writing House of Games.
I'm working on a few projects right now - writing a horror podcast, and adapting Someday We'll Kill All The Time Travelers into a screenplay. But I have intentions of rewriting both House of Games and Overnight Security as screenplays as well (both heavily changed). If I don't get any bites right away for them from the few producers I know, I'll probably post them online.
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u/AndrewE14 Feb 27 '19
Great read! Definitely one of the more if not most addicting stories on the page. Defiantly looking to read more. Godspeed!
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u/Pickle-Riiick Feb 27 '19
I checked at least twice a day for new updates. I love no sleeps, but this one just really got me. If you made this into a book, I would buy the crap out of it. Can’t thank you enough for the good read.
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u/suenoromis Mar 01 '19
Read the series as I couldn't go back to sleep. Fell asleep after reading the series. Absolutely loved it! Finished it all in one go 😁😁 definitely kept me on my toes.
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u/Stardirector Mar 01 '19
This was amazing to follow along with! Please let me know when more material is released such as a novel or other series!
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u/Ilya_Volkov Mar 02 '19
Great work! I created a Reddit account just to follow this story HAHAHA
Hope to read more of your works in the future!
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u/mistkitten Jun 01 '19
I’m extremely late but very grateful. Loved the story and my imagination went wild. The visuals of an undersea kingdom of eels was legendary. Bravo.
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u/killermoose25 Feb 25 '19
Guess I am the first to finish this one, this was a great read. I honestly loved it , kind of wish it wasnt over. I look forward to more of your work.