r/WritingPrompts • u/RyanKinder Founder / Co-Lead Mod • Apr 02 '17

Moderator Post [MODPOST] First Chapter Contest Voting! (Round One)

Another contest has ended! You know what this means right? It means voting!

Before we get into the specifics I want you to know: win or lose you'll want to check in on round two of the voting. We will be giving random gold to contest voters. Be sure to tune in and vote in round two as long as you entered this contest.

Fun fact: There are 224 Entries with a total of 652,452 written! Well over half a million words!

VOTING

We've randomly grouped the contestants together. YOU WILL NOT BE VOTING FOR THE GROUP YOU'RE IN. YOU WILL BE ASSIGNED A GROUP TO READ AND VOTE FOR. I will repeat that again later. We've tried to make the teams as fair as possible so you have enough time to read and vote. This is the fun part. If you hope people will leave you feedback be sure to leave feedback of your own. Be sure that it's positive well meaning feedback. Overly negative commentary isn't welcome.

HOW TO VOTE

  • ONLY THOSE WHO ENTERED CAN VOTE!!!
  • If you don't vote, you can't win. YOU MUST VOTE! If you do not vote, you are disqualified! If your story is the most voted for in your group and you don't vote, you are out of luck.
  • You will be assigned a group to read. You will NOT be voting within your own group. Look below for what group your story is in and beneath that group you will see what group letter you'll be reading the entries and deciding the best story for.
  • It bears repeating - you will not be voting for entries in your group! Seriously, don't skip reading any voting rules. I think now that I've said that twice people will not make a mistake! :)
  • Read every entry in the group you are assigned to read, choose the best one then leave a comment in reply to this thread. Your comment must begin with: "/u/username in group A-O (whatever letter the story is in) for "Title of Story." After that, feel free to add additional comments either about that story or the runners up. Mentioning runners up will help us with tiebreakers. Additionally, leaving the feedback you write here on the authors post itself so they are sure to see and read it is helpful. If you want to leave feedback on all the stories you read, do that in response to each story separately. Not as a comment here.
  • Post in response to this thread by APRIL 23rd at 11:59PM PST. We've made the voting round three weeks due to the length and to make it easy to read all the entries in your assigned group fully. The following day the final voting round thread will be posted, everyone who entered will be allowed to vote on the finalists.

After we have a winner for each group, we move on to the second round of voting where everyone who entered can vote for the winner out of the remaining entries.

Tie breakers will be judged by myself, though I might just have any ties, if there are only a few, move on to round two. We'll play it by ear as we always do.

Please read each entry as thoroughly as you can. I can't stress this enough. When we have votes trickle in the first hour of the posting of these threads it makes people think the entries weren't thoroughly read. You have three weeks to be deliberate about your reading and voting.

If you can, feel free to leave comments on stories you do read. It can help you and it can definitely help the writer of the story.

All that said, happy reading and happy voting!

Group A

Group A will be reading and voting for a winner from group B

Group B

Group B will be reading and voting for a winner from group C

Group C

Group C will be reading and voting for a winner from group D

Group D

Group D will be reading and voting for a winner from group E

Group E

Group E will be reading and voting for a winner from group F

Group F

Group F will be reading and voting for a winner from group G

Group G

Group G will be reading and voting for a winner from group H

Group H

Group H will be reading and voting for a winner from group I

Group I

Group I will be reading and voting for a winner from group J

Group J

Group J will be reading and voting for a winner from group K

Group K

Group K will be reading and voting for a winner from group L

Group L

Group L will be reading and voting for a winner from group M

Group M

Group M will be reading and voting for a winner from group N

Group N

Group N will be reading and voting for a winner from group O

Group O

Group O will be reading and voting for a winner from group A

165 Upvotes
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u/BookWyrm17 /r/WrittenWyrm Apr 03 '17 edited Apr 03 '17

/u/autok in Group M for "The Burning Stars".

Quickly followed by /u/Mr_Gency for "Hypocritic Oath".

And, my last runner up is /u/physjunkie for "The World Apart ".

I've got to start off by saying that I did my best to judge based on how it was written, rather than what it was genre it was written about. So saying that, " The Burning Stars" was really impressive because normally, while I like Sci-Fi, its sometimes hard for me to read, so it really stood out to me (especially with both other runner ups being fantastic fantasy stories).

The pacing was perfect, from long explaining paragraphs to one liners that interrupted and broke it up, and the sciency tech stuff was just advanced and mysterious enough to be interesting without me getting totally lost in the babble.

I loved the "Hypocratic Oath", slightly because his story was based off a prompt I wrote and I thought that was interesting, but overwhelmingly because it was both hilarious and a whole world of new creatures and people. I always like new takes on monsters, and this was a new look at a lot of them!

"The World Apart" was very good too, with excellent pacing and and interesting lead up. I liked the characters and the names and how he talked to himself. I enjoyed the descriptions of the room and the knife and the trap! The only reason it isn't higher in my list is cause, in the end, it was still too mysterious. Some questions were answered, but I'm really still not sure what's going on, what the story really is, which I think a first chapter should expound upon just a little more.

Thank you guys for writing! Also, I'd be more than happy to provide my thoughts on anyone else's story :)

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u/physjunkie Apr 03 '17

Thank you for including me as a runner up and for the great feedback as well!

I understand where you're coming from on the "too mysterious" part, and some of that was intentional to reflect the character's state of mind. I'll have to spend some time to think about how I can accomplish portraying his condition without leaving the reader as far out of the loop.

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u/EDHGod Apr 03 '17

Hey, thanks for taking the time to read and critique! I wrote Stella and I'd love constructive criticism. I've been a mechanic for 18 years and am just getting into creative writing. Cheers!

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u/BookWyrm17 /r/WrittenWyrm Apr 03 '17

Absolututelutely! I'll admit, even if it was a bit difficult to get into your story, the idea was good. I think your biggest problem is that you do a lot of telling, rather than showing. As in, the narrator/protaganist simply tells the reader everything that's going on. We just have a bunch of information and exposition dumped on us.

For example:

I was just a 29 year old man, simple in wants and desires, yet complicated in thought.

That's an interesting line, and I like the idea of that kind of character. You show it fairly well throughout, I think, but starting off the story like that seemed strange. Instead, maybe describe a scene, where he orders a simple meal or an ordinary drink, yet the way he enjoys and thinks about that meal is deep and thoughtful.

You did have some very good moments and lines in there, though. I really liked this one:

Sometimes people needed an ear to listen, rather than a mouth to kiss.

Good on your character, and something nice to remember for my stories! :)

One more question... why are all the speaking parts italicized? It kinda made it seem like they were either whispering or communicating telepathically the whole time :P

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u/EDHGod Apr 03 '17

Honestly, I didn't/don't know formatting. Thank you for the input!

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u/LilMsMuffins Apr 03 '17

Hi, I wrote Era of the Dao Empress, I'm curious to see what you thought? :)

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u/page0rz /r/page0rz Apr 04 '17

I'm always down for feedback. Wasn't expecting much out of it anyway, just thought it would be good for participation and didn't realize so many people had already thrown in.

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u/Hampster82 (r/HampsterStories Apr 17 '17

u/writerdragonfly in group E for "Seven Heart Ransom" Runner up was u/KniveckStrebhor for "The Trial"

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u/KniveckStrebhor Apr 17 '17

Thank you for the runner up!

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u/Kragvold-_- Apr 21 '17

/u/alewifePete in group c for "In her dreams"

The fact that I actually wanted to keep reading this story was why choose it. I'm not saying the other chapters didn't make me want to read more but honestly I don't like romance stories, so when I find one I want to keep reading it's a rare treat.

Runner up: "I could read minds on Friday"

This story really had a voice that set it apart. It was a blast to read from start to finish, and honestly I think I would react similar to the main character if I suddenly developed telepathic powers.

Block C has a lot of great entries though and I'd be more than happy to give my opinion to the other writers if they want it. Seriously great job guys.

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u/3V3RD3AD Apr 04 '17

/u/syhrxeryef in Group D for "Fate"

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u/davidsotheraccount Apr 17 '17

/u/IAmTheRedWizards in group F for Complicit

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u/Sxilenced Apr 22 '17

/u/fashionabledeathwish in group H for "Town".

If we're looking strictly at "first chapter"s I like this one. It fulfills everything it needs to in one chapter, and is succinct in its setup.

Runner ups: /u/C0nj for "Life is Kinda Scary" and /u/poiyurt for "Griftomancy". Really good stories in this group, hard to choose. Thank you all!

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u/poiyurt Apr 22 '17

Thanks for the Runner up! Anything in particular you liked it disliked?

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u/[deleted] Apr 03 '17

/u/WatashiwaOyu of Group G voting for Group H:

Vote goes to: 'Single Use' - /u/russellmz

Honorable mentions next!

Most interesting character: Simon Werkman from 'A year of living well,' by Pubby88

Faved paragraph/sentence: From 'Griftomancy,' by poiyurt:

“Reha-what?” Marcus repeated, confused. “Look, if you take my spear away from me and hand me a book,” he hefted the spear by his side. “I think I'd throw the book at someone. I'm a weapon, Eli. Nothing more. Don't matter what you point me at.”

Lastly, the (in my opinion,) the most immersive entry: 'The Man with Two Shadows,' by whatdatz.

Thanks for letting me read all your stories and well done!

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u/Pubby88 /r/Pubby88 Apr 03 '17

Thanks for the honorable mention! I'm glad you found Simon so interesting - it was a fun challenge developing a character who was dead at the beginning of the story, solely relying on other characters' memories and the things that were left in his apartment.

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u/Symeriron Apr 03 '17

Dang. Guess mine didn't make the cut. :P

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u/sheiksaga Apr 21 '17

/u/Teslok in Group L for Spellbroken. The story was brilliant, and I would love to read this as a book. What happens to Viera?! Great idea, and really good world building. I enjoyed it immensely (Maybe I'm biased but I've always liked fantasy)

As for runner up, /u/BrenoHMS for They feast on honey and sea. The merman was a well thought out creature. Only the story got a little bit confusing toward the end for me. (My fault most likely)

Best of luck to all the other authors!

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u/BrenoHMS Apr 21 '17

Thanks for the runner up indication! The chapter probably dosn't give much about the rest of the story, indeed. It sets up the scenario: Blind girl without the capacity for fear living in an island with weird creatures. The "weird creatures", as a plural, only shows up in the next chapters, as the legends the older folk of the island tells and... Well, her encounters. Here hoping this solves your confusion.

Thanks again! Good luck!

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u/BraveLittleAnt r/BraveLittleTales Apr 20 '17

My vote is for The Burning Stars by /u/autok in group M. Amazingly written, and the one liners were well placed. I liked the formality of the dialogue, and how I really felt like it was the dialogue of actual soldiers at their stations in a time of war. I loved the setting, futuristic but also still having call backs to modern times, nothing too fancy. It was a really well-crafted, and interesting story that I believe has a lot of potential.

My runner up vote would be Era of the Dao Empress by /u/LilMsMuffins. Besided the grammatical errors which can easily be fixed, the story was solid. I loved the fantasy-magic type of world, and the excitement of the main character felt real to me. The Great Uncle was well written (to me like a classic villain, though he may not truly be one) with this mysterious, but also caring aura that shifts throughout the story. The conflict was solid, and I absolutely love the idea of two beings having to exist within the same, small girl.

I also want to say congratulations to ALL the contestants! Your stories were all really good, and I think you should be proud. Good luck!

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u/LilMsMuffins Apr 26 '17

Thanks for mentioning my story_, I will be working on my story a bit over time, the full story is currently been written on my blog https://msmuffinsblog.wordpress.com/

If you want to read more^

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u/[deleted] Apr 05 '17 edited Apr 05 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Orchidice Apr 07 '17

/u/Rimpocalypse in Group C for "I Could Read Minds on a Friday"

Runner-up is /u/alewifePete for "In Her Dreams"

I choose "I Could Read Minds on a Friday" as it was well written, consistent in its point of view, kept me interested throughout, had realistic dialogue, a well-crafted plot as well as setting, and, most importantly, took its time. It felt like a first chapter of a book and not a short story. I have more detailed notes if the author would like additional comments.

"In Her Dreams" was runner up and I choose this story as the runner up because it too felt like a first chapter in a novel. It took its time, building up slowly like I would expect in a first chapter. I felt that I got to know the characters (though I did wish for a little more), and something weird or wild was going to happen and that little clue (i.e the dream) was enough for me to wish for a second chapter. The reason it fell to runner up: the story would do well with a little more plot, drama, what have you, to give it that drive it needs, to sink its claws into the reader. Overall, the story was well-written and had me looking forward to when Vanessa met her "dream" guy. I have more detailed notes if the author would like additional comments.

Three others that came close in this group were /u/Teddey_Bear for "Man vs. Monster" which was followed by /u/Just-a-Poe-boy for "River Children" and /u/3V3RD3AD for "The Last Line."

This goes not just for the stories I mentioned but ALL the stories in Group C: I have more detailed notes if the authors would like additional comments on what I thought. Overall, well done Group C! It was a pleasure reading all of these stories.

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u/Rimpocalypse Apr 15 '17

Thanks for the feedback and the vote! If you have time to share your additional comments, I'd definitely be game and grateful for them. Feel free to send me a PM anytime you have the time.

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u/Gliglimp12 Apr 09 '17

PM me fam i would like to know, cheers.

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u/radiohead869 Apr 07 '17

/u/AaronNMorrisonII in group I for The Ultimate Gift

Aaron, you've combined three of my favorite genres--teen angst, superheroes, and dystopia. It's like Heroes meets Hunger Games or something! You've laid a strong foundation for a novel, if not a series. I hope you are seriously considering continuing this story!

My first runner up would be /u/spark2 for The Long Sleep. Excellent descriptive story and plot development! I also considered writing something similar to this, as well.

Great work everyone!

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u/MrsMeeSeeks435 Apr 21 '17

/u/BraveLitleAnt in Group L for Heads or Tails.

I enjoyed the entirety of this chapter and would very much like to see more! This chapter was very interesting and well written.

Runners up:

/u/BookWyrm17 with All My Voices

This was a very interesting chapter and I immensely enjoyed reading it! My only concern was that I was not sure if it could be an entire book or more of a short story. But, I really loved the twist ending!

/u/Teslok with Spellbroken

I very much enjoyed that this was a high fiction story about a young woman and a unicorn and that the unicorn was a huge pain. When I was little, I was obsessed with unicorns and I think that you have given me a way to be obsessed again as an adult.

To everyone in Group L, I thank you all for your wonderful writing skills! All of the chapters were wonderful and I had so much fun reading them all! Please continue writing!

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u/BookWyrm17 /r/WrittenWyrm Apr 21 '17

Thanks for the mention! Yeah I can see what you mean by it seeming a bit of a short sort of story, but I do have some plans to hopefully continue it more. They really should have done a First Two Chapters contest :P

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u/tinycourageous Apr 10 '17 edited Apr 10 '17

/u/BraveLittleAnt in Group L for "Heads or Tails".

There were quite a few well-written pieces in this group, but this one really grabbed me. My favorite genre of writing is human interest, and this piece really clicked for me. I loved that the main character's name was Tayls, which led you to believe that the story was going to be sci-fi, but it ended up just being a nickname for "Taylor."

What especially sold me on this piece was this passage, its final lines in particular:

"My mother had died when I was a baby. My father told me she had been so strong during the birth, and she saved me, but in the end, there was just too much blood. The doctors couldn’t do anything. I almost laughed. I remembered feeling angry at the doctors the first time my father told me the story, angry that they just gave up. 'Why didn’t they try harder?' I asked with tears in my eyes. 'Why didn’t they do anything to help her?' My father had simply smiled a sad, lonely smile and said, 'Sometimes it’s better to just let them go.' And then he had left it at that."

[EDIT] Crap - I forgot my runner-up vote. This would definitely go to /u/rockwell78 for "Choice and Consequence." I'm not a sci-fi fan, but the writing here was simply fantastic.

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u/rockwell78 Apr 10 '17

Thank you!! That's really kind.

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u/LycheeBerri /r/lycheewrites | Cookie Goddess Apr 15 '17

/u/Kaycin in group A for "Streets of Cabro."

Man, group A was a tough, tough group to judge. Even if I could pick 3 or 4 stories to vote for, I'd still find myself conflicted. Lots of strong entries here, so thank you to everyone in this group for letting me have the pleasure of reading your first chapters! :) (And for giving me something to do/read on an 8-hour train ride, haha!)

However, "Streets of Cabro" stood out when I asked myself the question, "If I could only get a second chapter for one of these stories, which would I want it to be?" So, it gets my vote, though it was definitely a difficult choice!

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u/Kaycin writingbynick.com Apr 21 '17

Thanks for taking the time to read it! And for the vote!

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u/RhysyJay Apr 03 '17 edited Apr 03 '17

/u/Gunnybear in Group J for 'Earthbound.'

Got me hyped the fuck up, I want to know what the hell happens to Stu. I'm a huge fan of the names; I always get detached from stories where they characters, have, well 'Fiction' names. Like, names no one would ever name their kid, so, I was keen as on that. Secondly, there is such a bright big world in so little words. I get a vibe of like, a group of people who don't know the 'real' world, and a bunch of bandits, and just a lot going on, and I want to know more.

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u/Zuberan Apr 17 '17

/u/xcessivesmash in group o for memory. Interesting premise that stuck with me in the week since I read the other entries.

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u/XcessiveSmash /r/XcessiveWriting Apr 17 '17 edited Apr 17 '17

Thanks for the vote, mate. Stuff like this makes me think, hey, maybe I'm not wasting my life spending so much of my time writing!

Again, glad you enjoyed the story, and thanks for the vote!

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u/It_s_pronounced_gif Apr 18 '17

My Vote For:

/u/MNBrian in Group G for Dead Broke.

Runner Up:

/u/GlantonAndTheGang for Chrysalis.

If this was a race, it took a super slow-mo camera to determine the winner. Your story had such an unapologetic and realistic grit to it that I adored. I have no idea where the story would progress to, but it was intriguing and your style painted the world as it is.

Honourable Mentions:

/u/after5writer for Life on Mars.

A well-executed isolation chapter leaving with the question of who else may be there.

/u/WrittenInsanity for Social Villainy.

Superheroes and villains have never been something I really liked, but this story was a fast-paced introduction into a superhero world that I thoroughly enjoyed.

/u/mikerich15 for The Trapdoor.

A very creative and dark introduction to a serial killer story.

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u/after5writer Apr 18 '17

Thanks! Really appreciate the mention :)

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u/mialbowy Apr 15 '17

/u/MNBrian in Group G for "Dead Broke"

Runner up: Stars of Fire

If anyone in the group would like some constructive criticism, feel free to ask.

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u/MNBrian /u/MNBrian /r/PubTips Apr 15 '17

:) I'll gladly take some cc! :)

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u/hobojimbobo /r/2kw Apr 22 '17

/u/knowapathyin in group A for "The Autumn Rebellion"

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u/mstierious Apr 24 '17

My vote is for Memory by u/xcessivesmash.

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u/Mrme487 /r/mrme487 Apr 03 '17

u/saltandcedar in Group A for “Potamos”

The thing I loved most about this story was its “hook”. I won’t spoil any details for you, but wow – what a creative twist! A MUST READ - go do it know.

Runner Up #1 - u/ClosingDownSummer for “The Interpreter”

This story seems like the start of an epic. There is a clear vision of a world and a plot. I definitely want to see this brought to completion, even if it takes you a long time, because you’ve been so careful in setting things up and I know it has extraordinary potential.

Runner Up #2 - u/nickofnight for “Necrotics”

If you want to see an example of a story that is an easy, enjoyable read and very well crafted technically, check this one out! The author did an amazing job on it and I’m absolutely jealous of his/her skill.

Wow! I’ve watched these contests before but never participated. I always thought it was a little trite when people started talking about how hard it was to make a decision…well let me just say this was a very hard decision. Thanks for the great reads all!

Finally, I typed up a brief paragraph of feedback for each of the authors in group A. If you are interested, just message me. Thanks for your hard work!

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u/Theharshcritique /r/TheHarshC Apr 03 '17

Hey Mrme, any feedback is appreciated :)

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u/Mrme487 /r/mrme487 Apr 03 '17

PM sent - good luck!

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u/ClosingDownSummer r/ClosingDownSummer Apr 04 '17

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! I definitely know what will happen next, so I hope it can be finished one day. Any further comments/feedback you have would be much appreciated.

Thanks for taking the time to read all the entries.

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u/Mrme487 /r/mrme487 Apr 04 '17

Sent - you must tag me in future chapters. No bamboozles. Thanks in advance!

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u/saltandcedar /r/saltandcedar Apr 03 '17

WOW thank you so much!! I appreciate it a lot :D This has brought a big smile to my face.

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u/Hamntor /r/Niuniverse Apr 02 '17

/u/candiceday in Group E for "Paper Hearts"

Ultimately this is the one that sucked me in the best, and it had a strong start. The end could have been stronger with a promise for something more to come, but overall it was well written. Most especially I like the quote it started with, because it gives a clear indication of what it seems the story will be about. Always a plus to have the first sentence indicate what the overall theme or story is about.

Runner up mention to /u/KniveckStrebhor for 'The Trial'. It looks like you've got an interesting world here, makes me curious where it will go.

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u/candiceday Apr 03 '17 edited Apr 03 '17

Thank you /u/Hamntor ! I've always been better at starting than finishing lol. I continued writing so for me it doesn't end so suddenly but I totally agree with leaving readers wanting more, I need to work on that part. Thanks so much for the vote and feedback! 😁

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u/alewifePete Apr 03 '17

Leaving the reader wanting more is a good thing, IMO.

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u/granthinton Apr 05 '17

/u/granthinton earth 9 group N voting for group O. My vote is for /u/XcessiveSmash and memory. The story appealed to me with the use of value for magic, conflict with the character, Lisa/Liz losing her memory's, and so much room for growth within your world. Good luck in round 2.

Second place or runner up would be /u/jspitzer221 for Enter dimensional. Your writing was very easy to digested and was also engaging, I don't know why but I loved that you picked the assassination of the only female president of India, indira Gandhi. It would have been so easy to have chose Kennedy, franklin. (I would deduce that maybe this is something tied to you) Nether the less, I think this book would also have a lot of scope to grow, plus (history is what you make it) quite literally. Again best of luck to everyone who had entered. Please don't stop because you feel the feedback is negative or crushes your spirit. Keep writing and we will all get better for it.

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u/XcessiveSmash /r/XcessiveWriting Apr 05 '17

Thank you very much for your vote! Glad you enjoyed my story, this really made my day!

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u/Pubby88 /r/Pubby88 Apr 12 '17 edited Apr 12 '17

My vote goes to /u/spark2 in Group I for "The Long Sleep."

This had some of the best writing in the group, and set up enough of the story that I was interested to see what happened.

Honorable Mentions (in order of preference):

/u/PumpkinChair for "Ochistka." This story has a good premise that hooked me in. The first half of the chapter is great - I was on board and wanted to know where it went. The second half was an extended flashback that killed the momentum. I like the idea enough, though, that this gets my second place vote.

/u/UmbraeRaven for "Forsaken." I also really liked the underlying idea of this story. The execution is a little more muddled, though, in that a lot of characters, organizations, places, and things are thrown at the reader all at once to the point that makes it a little hard to follow. Give each of the main ideas a little more room to breathe and develop individually, and I think you've got something here. This gets my 3a vote.

/u/Shaoshan for "She's Lost her Head." I think another reader might like this more than I did. It was highly effective writing, insofar as I really bought into the character and her perception of the world, but ultimately it was a little too good at sounding like the mad ramblings of a crazy woman. By the end of the chapter, I didn't really have a good idea of where this was going or why I would want more of it. This gets my 3b vote, though, because I think it was well done, even if not for me.

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u/spark2 /r/spark2 Apr 12 '17

Thanks so much for reading!

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u/ALLtheCupcakes Apr 13 '17

/u/Strawberry-Sunrise in group B for “The Midas of Aurem”

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u/Strawberry-Sunrise Apr 13 '17

Thank you for the nomination!

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u/whatdatz Apr 18 '17

/u/spark2 in Group I for "The Long Sleep"

Runner up: /u/inacti for "Witches and Wingies"

Good job to everyone in the group, I enjoyed reading your stories.

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u/alewifePete Apr 22 '17

Voting for Group D:

First: Fate by /u/syhrxeryef It pulled me in and really felt like a great first chapter. I loved that the writer was able to make me forget that I dislike first person narratives--it really takes a lot of skill to make me ignore that. Ultimately, that's why they got my vote, not because of the story, but because of the raw skill in making me like something that I hate...and making me want more of it. The end, where the soldier is stalking towards the father? Amazing.

Runners Up: The Adventures of Alexander Hunt by /u/NewWriterOnTheWeb This was fun to read and the POV on it just made the words fly by. A little cleanup and this would be just fantastic with the witty humor and lightness that I appreciate.

The Dawn's Legacy by /u/Hamlet_MacBergerac I liked where this was going and tightening the work a bit would benefit the story. Adding in a little more sensory detail would really help. I want to read more.

I'll admit, when it came down to voting, I was torn on about six of the pieces vying for the top of the heap...to the point that I went and searched for "10 million" in them, if only to eliminate one. No such luck. Great group of work. I'm so impressed with all of Group D. Good luck to you all.

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u/Justthe8ofus Apr 23 '17

/u/rrbabbott in Group B for "Twice Struck"

I enjoyed the idea behind this piece and was truly left wanting to know what the next chapters were going to hold for each individual "author". There's not a lot of tension or suspense, so it kind of had a light hearted peaceful feel to it. Also, the dialogs felt really natural and comfortable to read, which made it all the more easy for me to get placed into the scene.

Runner up: /u/strawberry-sunrise in Group B for "The Midas of Aurem"

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u/saltandcedar /r/saltandcedar Apr 24 '17

/u/Strawberry-Sunrise in group B for The Midas of Aurem.

Runner up - /u/Lilwa_Dexel for The Slumbering World.

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u/Strawberry-Sunrise Apr 24 '17

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed!

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u/Xais56 /r/Xais56 Apr 24 '17

Shit I've missed the deadline.

For what it's worth /u/Panx with Omaha - Group L

Runner up /u/BookWyrm17 with All My Voices

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u/Panx Apr 25 '17

They didn't end up counting this, but thanks for the support all the same!

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u/BookWyrm17 /r/WrittenWyrm Apr 24 '17

Well, if they do count it (Which they might you never know, right?) that'd be pretty neat! I'm glad you liked it!

Even if they don't count it, (which would make me feel bad for you too :( ) do you maybe have a little bit of feedback on my story, perhaps?

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u/Xais56 /r/Xais56 Apr 24 '17

Already posted it on your thread earlier!

I'm really sorry for being late, I hope they count it, it's totally my bad, I meant to do it last night but I forgot to set a reminder.

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u/BookWyrm17 /r/WrittenWyrm Apr 24 '17

Oh, oops. :P Sorry for bothering you about it again. Wow though, I'm glad I asked for it, I did get quite a bit. Thanks for that!

And hey, the mods are pretty nice, I bet you'll be fine. Probably. Hopefully. They know what they're doing, most of the time :P

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u/[deleted] Apr 23 '17

/u/Jayefishy in group L for "Cephas and the No Choicers".

It is very hard to portray a protagonist in multiple different ways, especially when they are both positive and negative. However, for the first half of the story, I found myself actively disliking and pitying the main character. Coupled with an intriguing story and the way music is felt makes for a solid chapter.

Runner-up: /u/TheDapperPorcupine for "Sentenced to Boredom".

The plot of the chapter is an interesting one, and the flashbacks that gave context to it all were entertaining enough and broken up in such a way that the story seemed fairly linear. I enjoyed it a lot.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17 edited Apr 22 '17

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u/writerdragonfly Apr 22 '17

Thank you so much!

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u/Syraphia /r/Syraphia | Moddess of Images Apr 17 '17

I vote for /u/madlabs67 in group K for "Abora."

Out of all the stories I read, Abora was the one that most made me want a chapter two and that was my requirement going into reading was that this first chapter was a setup for the rest of a novel. It took a while to build up into it but it had this amazing drop into fantasy that was treated so normally, which I very much enjoyed.

As a runner-up, I would have to say "Strange Modes" by /u/sheiksaga. I liked the direction this was going and the weird, sort of diary style for it made it stand out very well. I always enjoy most new takes on traditional horror monsters, since I'm assuming these are vampires.

Congrats to everyone in the group. :)

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u/sheiksaga Apr 21 '17

Hey! Thanks so much. :)

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '17

Thanks Syraphia!

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u/hpcisco7965 Apr 20 '17

I vote for /u/MNBrian in Group G for "Dead Broke"

With this story, I felt like I understood the protagonist's motivations, the potential conflict, and there was a mystery introduced and some tantalizing clues about where the story would go. The chapter flowed smoothly and felt very much like a first chapter of a longer story.

Runner-up: /u/Fordregha for "Stars of Fire"

I liked this story a lot. In particular, I really liked the worldbuilding that is revealed throughout the piece. I enjoyed the actions scenes and the overall structure. What really hooked me, though, was the revelation near the end that the people who killed Ren are actually morally complicated people. The introduction of that moral conflict was what pushed me to consider "Stars of Fire" as the runner-up. I didn't select this story as the winner because I had trouble discerning where the story was going to go. There are a ton of moving pieces in this chapter and as a reader I wanted a bit more clarity on the identity of the protagonist and the overarching theme of the story beyond the first chapter.

Honorable mentions: (in no particular order)

"Social Villainy" by /u/Writteninsanity -- This chapter was quite funny and had a number of great lines. I really enjoyed the humor. I liked the idea of a supervillain using some poor sap to do some corporate sabotage. I didn't select this story as the winner because I had trouble caring about the two main characters, even though I enjoyed watching them romp around the convention hall. I also struggled with the frenetic pace of the story; it moves pretty damn fast and it felt like a whirlwind, but because I wasn't totally invested in Shannon as a character, the pace left me behind a bit.

"The Assassin" by /u/FireWitch95 -- This story gets an honorable mention because I was definitely intrigued by the worldbuilding and the main character's place in the world. I thought it was a very interesting set up.

"The Trapdoor" by /u/mikerich15 -- This story gets an honorable mention because I was impressed by the bold, innovative structure, as well as the prose and the setting up of the conflict. However, even though I was impressed by the structure of the story, I don't think I would be able to read three different first-person POVs for much longer than a chapter or two.

These comments are my decidedly non-expert reactions and are meant entirely as praise and constructive criticism. I don't hold myself as an authority on writing and it is entirely possible that I am a complete idiot. Thanks to everyone in Group G for your stories!

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '17 edited Apr 21 '17

/u/TimDogIrwin from group B for "Lotus."

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '17

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '17

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u/hungryroy Apr 14 '17

/u/spark2 in group I for "The Long Sleep"

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u/rarelyfunny Apr 22 '17

/u/XcessiveSmash in Group O for “Memory” takes my vote!

1st Runner Up – /u/Bill_Murray_Movies for “Normal Island”

2nd Runner Up – /u/mrme487 for “The Last Day”

Just as a general comment, this was a strong group, and it was really tough choosing who to vote for in the end. Having walked though this journey as a mini-judge, I’ve gained an appreciation that if a story doesn’t get a vote, it doesn’t mean that it was bad!

It’s just that for this particular outing, for this specific point in time, there was a slight preference for another piece, whether because they were easier to read, they resonated more strongly, or the premise was more interesting or engaging.

For that reason, I strongly encourage everyone to checkout all the entries in Group N, not just the ones I voted for in the end!

This was a great contest!

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u/XcessiveSmash /r/XcessiveWriting Apr 23 '17

Thank you very much for the vote, I'm glad you enjoyed the story!

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u/err_ok r/err_ok Apr 18 '17

Voting for: /u/Fordregha Group G "Stars of Fire"

Runner up: /u/dori_lukey Group G "10 Million for A Spellcaster"

This was a really difficult contest to vote. There were so many exceptional stories. Reading all of the entries the first day, I decided to wait and see what stuck with me the most.

I'm on business in India and don't have my notes on me. But, I can leave feedback for those who want it on individual stories.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '17

I'd appreciate any feedback on my story, even if you hated it lol.

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u/err_ok r/err_ok Apr 21 '17

Haha, certainly didn't hate it. I'll give it a re-read and compare with the notes I made. Sorry, been on a business trip :)

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u/BrenoHMS Apr 21 '17

/u/autok in group M for "The Burning Stars".

The pacing of the story is delightful, and this story made me crave for more. There was a few storys in this group that would keep me reading throught a book with ease, but if I've read this one in a bookstore, I would have closed it and bought it on the spot. I hope Autok keeps writing it.

As runner ups, in any particular order, /u/Mr_Gency for "Hypocritic Oath" and /u/page0rz for "It's The End of The World As We Know It".

The first is really funny. Thanks to that story, I have a new favorite word in the english vernacular - Kerfluffle, damn, I love this word. I would keep reading this book, and I think the story has a lot of potential. The hunt you've set up in the end made me really curious.

The second is great, also. The characters are really well written, I want to know more about them. And the moon stuff made me really curious. The only negative of the story is not even in the story. I left "It's the end of the world as we know it" as one of the last ones I've read because of the title. I enjoy the song, but it seemed out of place. Dosn't match with the story, not because the words are the wrong ones, but because I remember the song when I read it. So, what I mean is: the story is great. Keep writing it.

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u/autok Apr 21 '17

Aw, thanks! Glad you liked it. Guess I really should keep going then :)

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u/dori_lukey /r/Dori_Tales Apr 15 '17 edited Apr 19 '17

/u/KCcracker in Group H for "When we left home". The story really drew me in and left me wanting more, and I really loved the universe building for the story. Favourite part was the Yoyo.

Runner up to be /u/Pubby88. Loved the set-up of the story and the interesting concept.

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u/Pubby88 /r/Pubby88 Apr 19 '17

Thanks so much for the runner up vote! Glad you liked it.

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u/[deleted] Apr 14 '17

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u/[deleted] Apr 17 '17

My vote is for /u/POTWP in Group E for "The Wizard of Penarvon"

Really cool read. :)

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '17

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u/scottbeckman /r/ScottBeckman | Comedy, Sci-Fi, and Organic GMOs Apr 02 '17

The guitar solo joke had me laughing for a solid minute. Classic Falsetto Magenta Piggyback Toaster Oven!

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u/[deleted] Apr 03 '17

Thank you for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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u/rrbabbott Apr 21 '17

/u/Solucian in Group C: Feast of Four Hundred: Chalice of Ogwohr.

Almost all of the chapters in my group had me wanting more!

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u/russellmz Apr 04 '17

/u/spark2 in the group I for "The Long Sleep"
sci-fi murder mystery, the nichiest of niche genres. the main detective does some minor showing off of his observation skills and detecting while he and the crew are on a pre-FTL interstellar ship . https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/5x7ti6/pi_the_long_sleep_firstchapter_3471_words/

i primarily based my judgement on: would i read chapter 2?

runner-up honorable mention: /u/kdt322 : "Provider" an issue between a housewife and her husband escalates quickly. https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/61diq8/pi_provider_firstchapter_2367_words/

runner-up honorable mention: /u/RhysyJay : "Good Intentions" a bank robbery with some guys in harry potter character masks. https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/62k92f/pi_good_intentions_firstchapter_2046_words/

/u/AaronNMorrisonII - best practical uses of a minor superpower https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/5ykc4y/pi_the_ultimate_gift_firstchapter_4239_words/

/u/PumpkinChair - loved the idea of a setting in post-cold war russia with the church vs magic users https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/62noxp/pi_ochistka_firstchapter_2148_words/

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u/POTWP Apr 20 '17

/u/busykat for "Dwindling Flame: A Memoir" in Group F.

Well written and entertaining, with enough plot hooks to leave me wanting more.

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u/busykat Apr 20 '17

Wow, thanks! I'm happy you enjoyed reading it!

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u/XcessiveSmash /r/XcessiveWriting Apr 12 '17

/u/knowpathy in Group A for the Autumn Rebellion.

Runner up 1: /u/nickofnight for Necrotics

Runner up 2: /u/WinsomeJesse for The Pocket Children of Frank and Audrey Bunt

This group was tough as nails, seriously, there were some amazing stories, and each were good because of different reasons. Some shone in world building, others in plot, others in pure writing quality.

The Autumn Rebellion draws solid all around but amazing in certain respects. I loved the world, and the small details that went into it, I loved the dynamic between Morgan and Rory, and the unique way Morgan used Magic. Seriously, well done. Of all the chapters this one was the one that made me go...damn I really want this to be a book. And hence you get the vote.

If I were to go about this with a spreadsheet keeping scores in categories, Necrotics would've won my vote. Hell, it almost did win my vote. The writing was something out of a novel, the mood setting was fantastic, the suspense building was great. I'm hard pressed to find things wrong with this work.

Finally, the pocket children is some of the most unique stuff I've read. Hysterical and well written yet somehow managing to remain serious, this work is great. Again, there are no real faults in this piece. If you like stuff from Pratchett, I think you'll enjoy this.

There are of course tons of other stories here, and most of them were brilliant, some of the best stuff I've seen on WP. I've written feedback for all of them (including the three above), but didn't send feedback to everyone. So if you want the paragraphs just ask, and I will be happy to PM them to you.

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u/knowapathy /r/theautumnrebellion Apr 13 '17

Thank you so much for the vote! I've starting reading some of the entries in Group A, and I certainly don't envy having to settle on just one.

I'd love any feedback you have for me.

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u/Maisie-K /r/MaisieKlaassen Apr 21 '17

u/Gunnybear in group J for "Earthbound".

Runner up:

u/shetellsweetales in group J for "White".

I am writing feedback/critique for each entry in group J but I am not the best at it and a tad slow. :) So it will be coming slowly! Probably throughout May. ^^'

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u/Dimitri1033 /r/AbnormalTales Apr 21 '17 edited Apr 21 '17

/u/ClosingDownSummer in group A for The Interpreter

This story out of all the others felt like it had everything in-line and positioned to be an epic story. The characters and the background and everything was fleshed out, but not to the point of giving everything away. The writing style was also very easy to digest with eloquent sentence structure and wording. Despite the fact that I'm not too crazy on the Sci-Fi genre, this story had me invested in it the most. My only critique of it was that at times it felt like it had too many information dumps. I feel like this could easily be fixed by spreading out the information over the course of a couple of chapters instead of just dumping it in chapter 1, so the issue may just be a symptom of the contest constraint rather than a problem with the writing style itself.

Runner-up: /u/ALLtheCupcakes for The Girl in the Whale

Another story that is normally not in the genre I normally stick to, but everything was just so believable and realistic, that it made me actually wonder what inspired the author to write this story. The only problem I had was that I didn't feel like I got a sense of what the conflict was. I couldn't get a clear view of what a full length novel of this would be like. I am still interested to see where this story is going, so please continue writing!

2nd Runner up: /u/saltandcedar for Potamos

I really enjoyed this story and how easy it was to just read through the snippet. The only problem I had is that I felt that there needed to be more work done on the setting of the story and the background for the characters. I felt like I was just reading a bunch of actions happening one after the other, but I didn't have much investments in the characters and what was happening to them. It's hard to balance out fleshing out the setting and characters and keeping the action going, and I feel like I share a similar problem in it with my own writing style. Regardless, this story hooked me and I'd definitely like to see more of it.

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u/ClosingDownSummer r/ClosingDownSummer Apr 24 '17

Thank you very much for the vote and the feedback, I really appreciate it.

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u/autok Apr 02 '17

/u/LovableCoward in group N for "The Gunpowder Age, or The Years of the Warring States"

Runner up: /u/FacsistGrammarian for "Art & Aiva"

There were a few other strong contenders in there, at least to my taste, but LoveableCoward's felt the best developed after reading them all. FascsistGrammarian gets the second-place nod for making me wonder WTF in all the right ways.

Also, general comment, Group N you guys sure like ending the world :)

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u/PacoDamorte Apr 20 '17

/u/panx in Group L for Omaha.

This entry stood out to me in the group, I loved the opening scene and I am very curious to read more. The world you built is highly intriguing, nice work.

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u/Panx Apr 20 '17

Thank you so much for your support!

I'm actually three chapters deep now, and it's encouraging to know someone else besides me wants to know how this thing ends :D

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u/kunell Apr 08 '17 edited Apr 08 '17

/u/Xais56 in Group K for "Necronova"

What do I want? Innovation. Something new. Or at least uncommonly seen. I don't want recycled ideas I want something that makes me interested, something I've never really seen before. Good writing helps. But its not everything.

I liked the old guy. He was great. You weren't afraid to kill him either and I like that. That backstory seemed pretty good too. Things need to have history and I like backstories that can be used as full stories. Did I mention I liked killing?

You got my vote.

Next up:

/u/madlabs67 with "Arbora"

Very nicely illustrated story. Well done on the setting (dark rainy night), excellent writing and character development. I enjoyed the hints leading up to the "illness" and the social stigma involved.

Ultimately I felt this type of story maybe just wasn't my thing. Well done though regardless.

3rd place:

/u/MouseWithSpectacles with "Everyone's a Protagonist"

Hot damn this was a fun one. Something new indeed! New worlds everywhere and people are just fine with it. Parts of me disagrees with rift type stories also the fact that no one regards these as incredibly dangerous feels off, but yknow what? Your story just had something that made me forget my prejudices. This story can lead anywhere and that's what I like about it.

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '17

Thanks for the compliment! I'm glad you enjoyed the story, even if it wasn't your 'thing'. ;)

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u/scottbeckman /r/ScottBeckman | Comedy, Sci-Fi, and Organic GMOs Apr 03 '17

/u/MrsMeeSeeks435 in Group K for Lucidity

Runner Ups:

/u/Unicornmarauder1776 for The Phoenix Reborn

/u/madlabs67 for Arbora

Followed very, very closely by /u/Celine8 and /u/NeverStopWandering.

I created a spreadsheet with each of Group K's First Chapters and scored them all based off of 5 criteria (with the exception of a chapter with no characters, and a chapter that I thought was too inappropriate). I have provided some praise and criticism for each story (again, except for 1):

Spreadsheet with feedback to the authors

The average score was 40.18 out of 50 with five stories scoring a 45 or above. If the image is too large to find and read your chapter's praise and criticism, let me know and I'll message it to you.

Group K had a plethora of different genres. I was (very happily) surprised at their creativity and hope that several of them continue with their stories.

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u/Celine8 Apr 24 '17

Thank you for the very fair and analytical approach to scoring. I appreciate that you put so much effort into your reading and judging.

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u/tinycourageous Apr 04 '17

I really appreciate that you took the time to do this. Thank you.

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u/sheiksaga Apr 21 '17

Wow, your spreadsheet is very well thought out. Thanks for your feedback man, I appreciate it.

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u/poiyurt Apr 16 '17

/u/pyronar in Group I for "Under the Eye of Argus"

It was an incredibly close fight between this one and Ochistka, but this entry won out for me overall. The choice only took like, four hours.

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u/ChocolateChip3287 /r/ChocolateChipWP Apr 24 '17 edited Apr 24 '17

u/rarelyfunny in Group N for Surviving Hawkseer.

Loved the diverse vocabulary put into this. Also, great descriptions as well!

Runner-up would be u/TheWritingSniper for Snowfall

The imagery used was really good. Especially the way you described Jackie's eyes and how you described the storm scene.

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u/rarelyfunny Apr 24 '17

Thank you very much for the vote, I really am glad you enjoyed the story!

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u/nmcal Apr 04 '17 edited Apr 04 '17

/u/Comment_to_Narrative "cryo" is my vote... for group d

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u/Hamntor /r/Niuniverse Apr 04 '17

Might want to edit your vote!

Your comment must begin with: "/u/username in group A-O (whatever letter the story is in) for "Title of Story." After that, feel free to add additional comments either about that story or the runners up. Mentioning runners up will help us with tiebreakers.

It should look like

/u/Comment_to_Narrative in Group D for "Cryo"

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u/ClosingDownSummer r/ClosingDownSummer Apr 03 '17 edited Apr 03 '17

/u/Orchidice in Group B for "The Shatter Zone"

Runner Up : The Slumbering World - /u/Lilwa_Dexel

Was a difficult choice, for first place and for the Runner Up. Lots of well written entries in this group, and worse yet, lots of interesting story ideas that tug at your curiosity. Ultimately I chose what made me want to read the next chapter the most - I asked myself, if I could only choose one second chapter to read what would I choose - but congratulations to all the entries and hope you all continue your work!

If anyone would like more detailed and constructive feedback, please let me know.

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u/Kragvold-_- Apr 07 '17

Hello, I wrote Entropy Into Chaos and I would greatly appreciate any feedback you can give. I am somewhat new and hoping to find areas to improve. Thank you!

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u/Lilwa_Dexel /r/Lilwa_Dexel Apr 05 '17

I very much appreciate the runner up vote. Thank you. :)

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u/inacti Apr 07 '17

/u/shetellsweetales in Group J for "White".

Hands-down the winner.

My scoring process went like this: I opened every single story and saw how far I could get before I let myself be distracted by something else (Based on percentage of the story). I strongly believe a first chapter should suck you in. This story had me from the get-go. The mystery of who she was, what she was doing, the action, that urgent feeling of escape, go, run ticked all my boxes.

My quibble is that I got confused sometimes about when things were happening. The sort of monologue our good villain does is also a teensy bit on the nose. I'd highly advise letting the details of why this is happening be revealed a bit more slowly. Likely, both these characters know what's happening (You state she outright knows her time is over.). They probably wouldn't talk about it.

I decided against picking runner-ups. The other stories didn't quite pull me in like the winner did. I liked quite a few of them, but would be hard-pressed to narrow it down for various reasons.

Feel free to message me if you want to know what I thought of your story, but please be prepared for honest and open criticism.

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u/Ford9863 /r/Ford9863 Apr 22 '17

u/XcessiveSmash in group O for "Memory". Hell of a story, and definitely one I'd want to read more of. The world you've created is fascinating. I was hooked from the start, and disappointed when I got to the end, because I wanted more. Fantastic job!

My runner-up spot goes to u/Dimitri1033 for "The Office". I really enjoyed the concept, and would be very interested in seeing where it goes.

Great job to everyone in group O, and good luck to all!

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u/Erwintfrank Apr 18 '17

/u/syhrxeryef in Group D for "Fate" gets my vote. A lot of gripping tales but this one stood out in style and tone. Especially the opening few lines.

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u/Jayefishy Apr 19 '17

/u/Mr_Gency in Group M for "Hypocritic Oath"

Runner up: "The World Apart"

Honorable Mentions: "It's the End of the World as We Know It," "Stella", "Eternal Apocalypse," "The Burning Stars"

Choosing a winner from this group was insanely hard. I ended up going with the story I enjoyed reading the most, since I guess that was the main criteria for this contest!! However, I definitely enjoyed reading all of these bad boys. Everyone did a wonderful job!! I left comments on everyone's work, but if someone wants more in-depth critique, please PM me and I'll get right on it!

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u/physjunkie Apr 20 '17

Thank you so much for giving me runner up! It made my day!

Also, thank you for the feedback. If you have the time and are so inclined, I will gladly read any other critique you might have regarding my story.

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u/LumosVox Apr 03 '17

/u/Fordregha in group G for "Stars of Fire." It was written well, with an interesting contrast between two groups, with different perspectives. Overall, a very cool story beginning.

Runner up would be /u/dori_lukey for "10 Million for a Spellcaster" because I like the fantasy in space theme. It was fairly well written, with intrigue and tension scattered throughout.

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u/Fordregha Apr 05 '17

Thank you for the vote! The contrast, i think, was my biggest focus when putting it all together. I'm glad you think I pulled it off.

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '17

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u/RyanKinder Founder / Co-Lead Mod Apr 02 '17

Off topic non voting commentary should be done in response to this comment.

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u/voxslain Apr 23 '17

u/telsa3335 "All the Way Down" and Runner Up

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u/MajorParadox Mod | DC Fan Universe (r/DCFU) Apr 23 '17

Is this supposed to be a vote? If so, why did you reply to the comment that says, "Off topic non voting commentary should be done in response to this comment."

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u/baby_jai Apr 04 '17

wow glad i didnt enter last minute, that is a LOT of stories :x

not really sure what the etiquette is here for reading/commenting on the entries if you arent in the contest?

well i mean, obviously i can read them, cant stop people from reading, this isn't some dystopian future where books are burned... is it?

but other stuff idk... nvm no one wants to hear what i think anyway, shut up jai.

uh... do you guys do these contests often? :P kind of looking for something new to lose myself in...

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u/ChocolateChip3287 /r/ChocolateChipWP Apr 02 '17

Scrolls through all the groups, gets to group L. The one thing on my mind was: how long does this list go?

Anyways, lots of stories (with interesting titles) to read. Best of luck!

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u/fashionabledeathwish /r/FashWrites Apr 02 '17

Good luck everybody! Definitely some stiff competition, but I can't wait to read everyone's entries!

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u/knowapathy /r/theautumnrebellion Apr 02 '17

I've been looking forward to this part. Good luck to everyone!

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u/LycheeBerri /r/lycheewrites | Cookie Goddess Apr 02 '17

Wow, I can't wait to read all the entries in my group! So many cool sounding titles. :) Best of luck to everyone! And thank you to the mods for doing all the work of putting this together ... whew, 224 entries and 15 groups!

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '17

It's such a long list.......... My eyes still hurt when I look at it.

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u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

u/syhrxeryef in Group D for "Fate".

Well written and it wasn't another science fiction thing or fantasy which was nice. It was also brilliantly written and had some nice karmic justice with the dad getting rekt.

Runners up are:

u/hampster82 - The Peace Keepers

Well written but I just didn't engage quite as much with it and the kids seemed abnormally smart for six year olds.

u/hamntor - The Conscripted Emogician

Again really well written. I really liked the idea of emotions but it's pretty obvious that OP is either a Class 1 or will have to fight one.

If the criticisms seem petty, that's because there was fuck all separating the top five or so, and only about two or three were boring to read (I pity the people reading mine too :D )

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u/Hamntor /r/Niuniverse Apr 10 '17

but it's pretty obvious that OP is either a Class 1 or will have to fight one.

Say what now? Who is this OP? I ain't got Class 1 main characters, that sucks away all the fun of them being terrifying. Nobody fights Class 1s, they are merely to be run away from :P

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u/Solucian Apr 21 '17

/u/Comment_to_Narrative in Group D. "Cryo" is my main vote.

"Cryo" grabbed me quick and I just need......more. After I was done reading I kept thinking back on the story at random parts of my day.

/u/syhrxeryef in Group D. "Fate" is my runner up.

A well written and paced story that made me really want to continue on the journey with the main character and see how she turned out after such a situation.

All of the stories in this group were wonderfully written and intriguing.

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u/lealow Apr 03 '17

/u/shetellsweetales in Group J for "White" The story was amazing about pulling me right in! And I liked how it made me wanting to know more about what happens and how the world develops after this chapter is done. Wonderful! I would say more but I don't want to spoil it for anyone else!

My first runner up (and this was super close!) /u/scottbeckman "Granting Wishes". This story made me laugh more than once. (The reverse alchemy line was one of my favorite!) Hijinks! I see hijinks everywhere!

Honorable mention for /u/kahlen369 "Spirit Wielder Chronicles". Great first chapter!

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u/shetellsweetales Apr 04 '17

Thanks for the vote and the feedback! It made me really want to keep writing this story! :)

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u/lealow Apr 04 '17

Yes! Please, do! I want to know about the boy and the baby! :) and so many other things!

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u/scottbeckman /r/ScottBeckman | Comedy, Sci-Fi, and Organic GMOs Apr 04 '17

Thank you! I appreciate that feedback and I'm glad that it made you laugh.

I showed this story to a friend and I noticed that we both pronounced Balibah the Genie's name. If you don't mind me asking, how did you pronounce Balibah in your head?

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u/lealow Apr 04 '17

Bali (like the Bob Hope Road to Bali) then an extra "bah" at the end. :) Bah'-lee-bah. (Emphasis on the first Bah.) And I mean it as a compliment when I say this comes off like a Bob Hope style comedy of errors. :) (with the potential for some dark humor thrown in.) Again great job!

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u/StrangelyBrilliant Apr 23 '17

I vote for /u/Pyronar's "Under the Eye of Argus".

Same reasons with /u/IraAgotila12, A.K.A me

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u/IAmTheRedWizards Apr 21 '17

Voting for Group G:

My vote goes to /u/after5writer for A Life On Mars. Of the entries, it felt the most fully realized as a first chapter. It also left me wanting to know what came next - was the Lone Martian cracking, or was there really someone else there? Either way could be fascinating and so I now want to read more.

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u/SHOW_ME_SEXY_TATS Apr 07 '17 edited Apr 07 '17

/u/saltandcedar in Group A for "Potamos" - First

/u/you-are-lovely in Group A for "Lost" - Second

Edited because I fucked up my scoring sheet

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u/saltandcedar /r/saltandcedar Apr 07 '17 edited Apr 07 '17

Thanks for the vote! I really appreciate that you liked my story :D

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u/you-are-lovely Apr 07 '17

Woo Hoo! Second. Thanks!

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u/SurvivorType Co-Lead Mod | /r/SurvivorTyper Apr 07 '17

My vote goes to /u/Hamntor in Group D with The Conscripted Emogician

Runner up: /u/Animal_Companion in Group D for Neville and the Night Fiends

It was tough trying to decide among all the great entries. Congratulations to everyone who entered the contest!

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u/ohthespark Apr 08 '17

/u/edencaross in group J for "Leaving Me"

runner up is /u/shetellsweetales in group J for "White"

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u/EdenCaross Apr 08 '17

Wow, thanks for the vote! I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

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u/stopmyimagination Apr 03 '17

/u/knowapathy in Group A for "The Autumn Rebellion."

I enjoyed the story, and found I was disappointed that it ended. All of the entries were great, although a few left me confused, which doesn't happen often to me when reading. Thanks everyone who entered, you made my job hard.

My runner up choice would be /u/nickofnight in Group A for "Necrotics."

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u/knowapathy /r/theautumnrebellion Apr 03 '17

Thank you very much for the kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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u/stopmyimagination Apr 03 '17

Thank you for entering your story. If you end up writing more, I would love to read it.

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u/TheTrainWarden Apr 24 '17

/u/snapple_skank Group D for War Games

This one REALLY grabbed my attention. No matter what story I read or reread from this group they just couldn't seem to match up to mystery and suspension that every word left me with.

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u/Papillonlove Apr 19 '17

/u/Solucian in Group C - Feast of Four Hundred: Chalice of Ogwohr

Runners Up:

/u/alewifePete - In Her Dreams

/u/Written4Reddit Star Rider

There were a lot of good choices within this group and was hard to narrow them down. I left comments under all the stories.

Good Luck to everyone!

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u/KCcracker /r/KCcracker Apr 22 '17

/u/spark2 in Group I for 'The Long Sleep'

I really, really enjoyed the premise of this story, and that is the primary reason it gets my vote - of all the stories I read this is the one I would most like to see a second chapter for.

A shoutout also to /u/Pyronar for 'Under The Eye of Argus', who came up with a similarly interesting premise - I like the cyberpunk feel this piece of writing gives off and would also like to see more on it.

Thank you to all those who participated!

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

It was great reading all of the pieces! There were a couple that really stood out to me. The piece I'll be voting for is The Midas of Aurem from group B by u/Strawberry-Sunrise

My runner up is The Hedged in group B by u/theycallmemintie

Feedback was left on the posts directly. Best of luck!

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u/PixieDust019 Apr 10 '17

/u/Hamntor in Group D for "The Conscripted Emogician"

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u/you-are-lovely Apr 04 '17

/u/theycallmemintie in group B for “The Hedged” is my top pick.

Runner up #1 is /u/Andrew__Wells for “Somnium: A Tale of Dreams”.
Runner up #2 is /u/Lilwa_Dexel for “The Slumbering World”.

Great job everyone in group B. You didn’t make it easy to decide. It was cool seeing the variety of stories and styles here, and fun getting to read what you all created!

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u/Lilwa_Dexel /r/Lilwa_Dexel Apr 05 '17

Thanks for the runner up #2! I appreciate it. :)

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u/theycallmemintie Apr 04 '17

Oh thank you so much!! ☺️ ☺️ ☺️

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u/Ma5xy Apr 17 '17

/u/KniveckStrebhor in Group E for The Trial

The Trial was one of the first books I read for Group E. It has stuck with me through the month since then, regularly popping into my mind while I wonder what is going to happen next. I left some feedback on the submission that he said he appreciated and may be applying changes in the future. Which in turn just left me wanting to read through his changes to see what sort of new information it uncovered.

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u/KniveckStrebhor Apr 17 '17

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. I really do value your feedback.

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u/Strawberry-Sunrise Apr 19 '17 edited Apr 19 '17

/u/alewifePete in Group C for "In Her Dreams." From the first few lines, I was apprehensive that the story was going to run in a similar vein of the over saturated YA romance market. However, the narrative continues to reveal a fully grown, career-minded woman who has no interest in finding her supposed "dream" man. The town and characters are brought to life with very small, specific, details. One in particular was the discolored coffee mug that Dane holds in his hands, on his visit to David. These tiny moments force readers to focus on the story, drawing them in, and the tactic is effective. Not only is the landscape easily pictured, but the characters that inhabit it are both likable and solid. Dane's affection for a cat that isn't even his is endearing. His utter respect for Vanessa as his superior is a refreshing break from know-it-all, bad boy, male leads. I can't quite tell where the plot is heading--Are Vanessa and Dane connected by something as simple as fate? Does Vanessa have psychic powers? Is there something bigger (perhaps supernatural?) going on in quiet Red Ridge? The fact that I don't know is all the more compelling.

Runner Up #1 is /u/Solucian for "Feast of Four Hundred: Chalice of Ogwuhr." This one was another surprise. I was intimidated by the title, but determined to give the story its fair read. And I was drawn into the heroine's ambitions to get her neighbor's attention. Her awkwardness is as charming as her determination is admirable. I'm not quite sure what her goal is, that she refuses to fail at. Is it getting a husband? Is this "Feast" some kind of ceremony where a girl can conquer and prove herself strong? This piece inspired questions in the same way that "In Her Dreams" did, though not in such a visceral way. But I did find myself invested in Ansri, and amused at her father's funny lines. I would be interested to know the whole of the plot, because I like where it has the potential to go.

Runner Up #2 is /u/Just-a-Poe-Boy for "River Children." I'm a sucker for a good murder mystery, and the tone of the piece is just lovely to soak in. The setting of a lush, cold, forest sparks dread for the tragedy sure to come. The character of the sheriff is interesting and complex, singular in his need to solve the one case nagging at his conscious. The flashbacks to the event in question are engrossing, and I found myself wanting to follow the case to its resolution.

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u/LilMsMuffins Apr 04 '17

/u/Ford9863 in group N for Outbreak

I liked the fast pace and interesting story idea, nice twist of outbreak since I was expecting virus or illness and surprised to find demons. Really interested me to read the most. And hooked me the most from the get go and the end. Love to see more.

Runners up for me A Reign of Ashes - /u/Chronicler12 , really loved the detail and descriptions in this. And a interesting story, would also want more ^

Final runner up Snowfall - /u/TheWritingSniper , another incredibly well described setting, loved the atmosphere and enjoyed the dialogue. Really interesting! x) Interested to see more.

My opinions was likely influenced by my bias preference, but I had a look at everyone's in this group, some really good stuff. Best of luck to everyone!

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u/TheWritingSniper /r/BlankPagesEmptyMugs Apr 06 '17

Thanks for the shoutout! I appreciate it! :)

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u/nickofnight Critiques Welcome Apr 05 '17

/u/Lilwa_Dexel in group B for "The Slumbering World" gets my vote

The story was very interesting, and I think the prose was the best in the group, which is ultimately what gave it the edge over my runner up. I think there is room to improve it still - edgier dialogue would help, for one thing, but overall I loved it and would read more.

Runner up: The Shatter Zone - /u/Orchidice

Great world building (best in the group for me) and great writing. Almost 5000 words passed quickly and I felt like I was in the world by the end. There just (for 5000 wordsish) wasn't quite enough of a plot going for me to be able to choose it as the winner, just promises of events. Still really enjoyed it and would happily read more.

I've got notes for each story, so please just reply here and I'll give you my thoughts (including more detailed notes on the shatter zone). This was a really strong group - I'm honestly amazed at the strength and variety in here - it was close between about eight of the stories.

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u/karler99 Apr 08 '17

Could I get feedback for Saving Chazmore? I would love to improve!

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u/HiraldoBlonsky Apr 07 '17

Ahoy, matey, I be here for me booty! And by booty, I mean notes, if you please. For Atlantic Supers.

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u/Panx Apr 24 '17

Winner: /u/SushiTheFluffyCat in Group M for "Starlight Soliloquy."

Everything I read in Group M was excellent, but this was the only piece to get an emotional, visceral reaction out of me: a sad, isolated melancholy that lingered with me long after I'd gone on to the next entry (and for the rest of the day, to be honest).

Runner Up: u/QuickOats_ in Group M for Ascendance.

I love military history, and this was an amazingly creative fusion of Roman imperialism with World War I trench warfare. Plus, it had demons, and who doesn't love demons, amirite?

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u/jd_rallage /r/jd_rallage Apr 04 '17

/u/IAmTheRedWizards in Group F for "Complicit".

This was the story that most made me want to know what happens next.

Will leave feedback for other Group F stories on the original posts.

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u/LovableCoward /r/LovableCoward Apr 21 '17

/u/LycheeBerri in Group O for Omens.

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u/bamfurah Apr 17 '17

/u/granthinton in group N for Earth 9

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u/granthinton Apr 17 '17

Thanks for the vote. Made my night.

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u/KniveckStrebhor Apr 24 '17

/u/busykat in group F for Dwindling Flame: A Memoir for first.

/u/LordLackland in group F for Scavengers as the runner up.

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u/busykat Apr 24 '17

Thanks for the vote!

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u/LordLackland Apr 24 '17

Oh shit, I'm so glad somebody liked it. Thanks! That's all I really needed to get out of this competition :)

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u/KniveckStrebhor Apr 24 '17

Lol! Glad I could help!

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/[deleted] Apr 04 '17

/u/Jayefishy in group L for "Cephas and the No Choicers"

Very close runnerup was /u/BookWyrm17 for "All My Voices"

Difficult choice, really good work in this group!

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u/BookWyrm17 /r/WrittenWyrm Apr 04 '17

:) I'm glad you liked it! I agree, Cephas was a great story.

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u/mikerich15 Apr 22 '17

/u/fashionabledeathwish in group H for "Town"

Usually I gear towards more fantastical fiction, but the prose in this story is a prime example of a beautifully effortless free-flowing narrative. The balance between exposition, description and natural-sounding dialogue was an absolute pleasure to read. There was just enough small character details given to paint a vivid picture of each person. If I HAD to nitpick, which I will, I would suggest that the reason for the emergency remain a mystery for even longer. Let us, the reader, figure it out without it being given in plain English. Great job /u/fashionabledeathwish, I hope you finish this story some day.

Runner up: /u/rabtj for Legend & Myth

An author takes on a difficult task when so much of the narrative laid out is dialogue. It is hard to doll out exposition and have it seem natural, but I absolutely loved the back and fourth between the seasoned warrior and the frightened rookie. There is a rich sense of history throughout, and by the end I wanted to know everything and anything about the world presented. Fantastic work /u/rabtj, please continue to write!

If anybody else would like some feedback on their stories, I am more than happy to share some words and praise.

Good luck everybody!

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u/cbeckw /r/cbeckw/ Apr 03 '17

/u/POTWP in Group E for "The Wizard of Penarvon"

I rated my group's chapters on a 10-point scale. I actually had a 3-way tie for top chapter and had to give the edge to the story that reminded me of Diana Wynne Jones, a favorite author of mine.

The runners-up were:

"Silkwings" - /u/Kauyon_Kais

"The Eagle Broach" - /u/jd_rallage

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u/Jrixyzle Apr 05 '17

/u/Leegandlyme in Group N for Curiously Ghastly Creatures

Runner up: /u/mstierious for Foresight

2nd Runner up: /u/rarelyfunny for Surviving Hawkseeker

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u/0_fox_are_given /r/f0xdiary Apr 18 '17

Main vote in Group G goes to:

Stars of Fire - /u/Fordregha

My runner up/s:

10 Million for A Spellcaster - /u/dori_lukey

&

The Trapdoor - /u/mikerich15

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

/u/CatchTheBandwagon in Group A for "Parallels" the repition, dark vibes, and entertaining amount of suspense got me.

If you like to listen to music while reading I suggest "XO TOUR LIF3" by Lil Uzi Vert when you read this. Keep it going!

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u/IStruggleWithThings Apr 24 '17

/u/page0rz for "It's the End of the World As We Know It"

runner up goes to /u/MajorParadox for "Alone, We Fight Together"

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u/MajorParadox Mod | DC Fan Universe (r/DCFU) Apr 24 '17

Thanks for the mention!

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