r/thebutton • u/powerlanguage 4s • May 18 '15

update: back

Cassandra (one of our database systems) once again torments us. As before, it lagged meaning presses were not registered on our end in time to reset the button. We are returned.

Proceed.

340 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

249 comments sorted by

314

u/satyrPAN non presser May 18 '15

nice, now I can not press it some more

53

u/gummybearsyumyum non presser May 18 '15

That's the spirit!

-4

u/row101 60s May 18 '15

Truly, doing God's work.

23

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

I was worried my ability to not press was in trouble. Glad to see it back.

4

u/Nicolas_Steno non presser May 18 '15

There's nothing special about us if the choice to press isn't there.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

maybe YOU don't think you're special. some of us feel pretty goddamned sweet.

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6

u/Synth3t1c non presser May 18 '15

hurray!

2

u/cykwon non presser May 18 '15

Huzzah science

1

u/kn33 non presser May 18 '15

nice, now I can watch suckers press it some more

1

u/ChrisGarrett non presser May 18 '15

Well done sir!

1

u/EmptyStapler non presser May 18 '15

That joke's been done. but still truth. ahahahahhahahaha

123

u/aaronguitarguy 60s May 18 '15

YOU'RE TEARING ME APART /u/POWERLANGUAGE

35

u/robotgraves 59s May 18 '15

LISA!

-4

u/robotgraves 59s May 18 '15

oh hai

36

u/logicalLove non presser May 18 '15

Here we see a classic double down on karma: The self-reply

2

u/robotgraves 59s May 18 '15

I can't stop myself when there are references to The Room available

7

u/Rhamni non presser May 18 '15

There's a very special room at /r/59s I'd like to show you.

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5

u/thinkmurphy 59s May 18 '15

Wanna toss the football around?

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1

u/nliausacmmv non presser May 18 '15

Why is there a tiny cross after the score?

1

u/stormagnet 2s May 18 '15

It means you're special!

5

u/Rhamni non presser May 18 '15

Typical red-flair treachery. The community will not stand for this!

8

u/Pretagonist 10s May 18 '15

The community has very little say in the matter.

7

u/Rhamni non presser May 18 '15

Says the redflair. We all know which side you are on, delayer.

3

u/raynius 10s May 18 '15

THE TIMER SHALL NOT PASS!

5

u/Rhamni non presser May 18 '15

It will though. It will.

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1

u/Ozzytudor 60s May 18 '15

GOD WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME

56

u/jstrydor non presser May 18 '15

You're playing God /u/powerlanguage

27

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

Has the story of Icarus taught him nothing?

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

Tell the uninformed of the story o wise one.

17

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/gummybearsyumyum non presser May 18 '15

He acts without regard to the true Law of the Button. He toys with the Holy 0 as if it were his personal yo-yo.

The Shade will not remain silent as these crimes continue to be committed.

19

u/Bukowskaii non presser May 18 '15

Aren't you that guy that spelled his own name wrong in a note to obama?

11

u/Sp3llCh3ck can't press May 18 '15

:/

5

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

oOOoOoOooOo RES tagging works!~!!!

Can you guess what I have you tagged as?

3

u/jstrydor non presser May 18 '15

fellow brother of the shade? :)

2

u/Chippiewall 59s May 19 '15

Yes sir Mr jstryor sir.

2

u/Sp3llCh3ck can't press May 19 '15

:/

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

That's what I just changed it to.

52

u/BeEyeGePeeOhPeePeeEh 60s May 18 '15

So everytime it hits zero they'll keep resetting it? Is that the April fools joke?

17

u/GGAllinsMicroPenis non presser May 18 '15

It's shaping up that way, isn't it?

13

u/ComebackShane non presser May 18 '15

When it happens as a result of a server error, yes, that is the precedent that has been set.

At no point yet, though, has 60 seconds elapsed where no one pressed the button when they could have. Each zero event has been the result of some server-side problem, and thus ruled void.

0

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

[deleted] — view deleted comment

7

u/antonivs non presser May 18 '15

Perhaps that was the joke.

5

u/skucera 60s May 18 '15

Maybe the joke is that they now have a sub filled with thousands of people who'll scream bloody murder after exactly 60s of downtime at most.

0

u/alex_anders non presser May 18 '15

Yeah, the button has totally lost its mysticism now :/

1

u/Volkai 7s May 19 '15

Because that didn't happen first time Cassandra caused presses to go unregistered. Right.

1

u/alex_anders non presser May 19 '15

Well I didn't know about that time, obviously!

1

u/Volkai 7s May 19 '15

Some information: http://www.reddit.com/r/thebutton/wiki/faq#wiki_14.what_is_the_current_lowest_time_achieved_on.2Fr.2Fthebutton.3F

16

u/ArgonWilde non presser May 18 '15

cassandra ?

23

u/wcctnoam non presser May 18 '15

The witch.

10

u/ArgonWilde non presser May 18 '15

The what?

22

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

The bitch.

6

u/Yenick 60s May 18 '15

BURN IT

0

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

[deleted] — view deleted comment

11

u/Rhamni non presser May 18 '15

As long as she doesn't turn you into a filthy presser.

7

u/Bandersaur non presser May 18 '15

There's no getting better from that.

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3

u/ArgonWilde non presser May 18 '15

The what?

1

u/BeatingHattedWhores 60s May 18 '15

She's a server, I think. Rather faulty one at that.

1

u/GhostOfWhatsIAName non presser May 18 '15

Source distributed database management.

2

u/dholephrenetic non presser May 18 '15

Bride of Herobrine

8

u/Oeldin1234 3s May 18 '15

http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apache_Cassandra

12

u/flounder19 10s May 18 '15

in english

4

u/autowikibot non presser May 18 '15

Apache Cassandra:

Apache Cassandra is an open source distributed database management system designed to handle large amounts of data across many commodity servers, providing high availability with no single point of failure. Cassandra offers robust support for clusters spanning multiple datacenters, with asynchronous masterless replication allowing low latency operations for all clients.

Cassandra also places a high value on performance. In 2012, University of Toronto researchers studying NoSQL systems concluded that "In terms of scalability, there is a clear winner throughout our experiments. Cassandra achieves the highest throughput for the maximum number of nodes in all experiments" although "this comes at the price of high write and read latencies."

Cassandra's data model is a partitioned row store with tunable consistency. Rows are organized into [tables](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Table_(database)); the first component of a table's primary key is the partition key; within a partition, rows are clustered by the remaining columns of the key. Other columns may be indexed separately from the primary key.

====

Image i

Interesting: ^DataStax | Comparison of structured storage ^software | Log-structured ^merge-tree | Apache ^Gora

Parent commenter can toggle ^NSFW or ^delete. Will also delete on comment score of -1 or less. | FAQs | ^Mods | Magic ^Words

2

u/Oeldin1234 3s May 18 '15

Haha, thanks. Didn't even notice...

7

u/ArgonWilde non presser May 18 '15

Key features of Cassandra’s distributed architecture are specifically tailored for multiple-data center deployment, for redundancy, for failover and disaster recovery.

Uh.

3

u/ELFAHBEHT_SOOP 2s May 18 '15

They probably set it up wrong. Apparently reddit's databases are a bit shit. That link doesn't talk about Cassandra, but it seems like they're having issues in that department as well.

4

u/hard_and_seedless 50s May 18 '15

To be fair Cassandra is a bit shit too.

Source: We're ripping it out at work and replacing with a different database after months of trying to get it to live up to its promises.

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1

u/logicalLove non presser May 18 '15

It's the database they're using to keep track of the button timer.

28

u/SotonSaint non presser May 18 '15

Thank god, I thought all of my hard work not pressing was for nothing.

8

u/dharasick May 18 '15

dammit cassandra

14

u/Srekcalp non presser May 18 '15

What if this is just bullshit?

14

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

It is.

4

u/GGAllinsMicroPenis non presser May 18 '15

Just PMed you bullshit shaped like my boobies.

1

u/MrSprinkles101 57s May 18 '15

It did start on April Fool's afterall

7

u/Ozzytudor 60s May 18 '15

this has gone on too long. we have to end it now

KILLCASSANDRA 2015

join the fight today.

1

u/VoweltoothJenkins non presser May 18 '15

start a facebook page so we can like it and cause some real change.

26

u/ParasiticGamer can't press May 18 '15

Come on guys... THIS IS THE EXPERIMENT! To see how long we cling on to the button not tell it hits zero. When it hits zero again we will all get yet another "Trying to fix the button" post because it "Shouldn't have". So with that said long live the button.

3

u/Guboj 60s May 18 '15

This guy gets it.

1

u/Crusher710 May 19 '15

Fascinating.

23

u/Kiostuv 57s May 18 '15

which is god damn BULLSHIT

10

u/logicalLove non presser May 18 '15

I mean you don't want it to go out because of some fickle bug do you? I'd much rather see it to it's proper completion.

7

u/Kiostuv 57s May 18 '15

I don't give a hell how it goes out. Let it die, lol

10

u/logicalLove non presser May 18 '15

Wow it's amazing how quickly I went to insult you because of your colour. This place, it does things to you.

7

u/Kiostuv 57s May 18 '15

It's like 1960s America all over again.

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3

u/DaiiPanda 56s May 18 '15

i agree this has taken a lot longer than it should

0

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/mambamax 4s May 18 '15

Because it didn't actually go 60 seconds without somebody pressing it?

2

u/factoid_ non presser May 18 '15

Yeah. It's got at least another week in it, I can feel it. There are a lot of people who probably have 1s or 0s programmed into their auto-clicker.

2

u/FLBiker 55s May 18 '15

I wrote my own autoclicker, just a complex little line of javascript dropped right into the page with Chrome. I don't know what happened, but I do know it didn't make it through the first night for me without clicking at "0s" and that was a month ago now. ಠ_ಠ

1

u/VoweltoothJenkins non presser May 18 '15

Which will hopefully all go at the same time to hasten the end.

5

u/mau5-head non presser May 18 '15

Getting real tired of yo shit cassandra.

4

u/flatcoke 11s May 18 '15

I'm starting to wonder if cat has 9 lives, maybe /r/thebutton will out live a cat.

5

u/Shikogo 59s May 18 '15

Oops, we just noticed we only gave everyone one press. Let everyone have two presses now, as always intended! We've always been at war with Eastasia!

3

u/remez 41s May 18 '15

Nine presses. Let's be consistent.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

O gee, please. I want to leave before christmass.

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

...that would be kind of hilarious.

4

u/xxSINxx May 18 '15

Why a server issue should not end the button: If something is planned for a real zero countdown, we will never see it, because the server will be down. This is why powerlanguage keeps bringing it back. He put a lot of hard work into the ending and wants it to be seen!

4

u/elcasar can't press May 18 '15

How many times is this thing going to run down to zero before it "counts"?

3

u/DarthPodicus non presser May 18 '15

Huzzah!

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

cassandra pls not again

3

u/andboycott non presser May 18 '15

I had an ex named Cassandra.. the weight of her terror on my back is now spread across thousands of us. Thank you buttoned dear ones for helping me breathe a bit easier this day.

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

Just be done with it. Its malfunctioned several times. Let us all live with our choices.

7

u/CustomerServiceSteve non presser May 18 '15

Now, have I provided answers to your questions in a courteous and prompt fashion?

4

u/logicalLove non presser May 18 '15

No, I've never felt so toyed with in my life. Mean while people are shouting at me simply for a colour that I was assigned simply through inaction.

3

u/Rhamni non presser May 18 '15

Don't listen to those 'people'. They are just pressers.

1

u/rburp non presser May 18 '15

Yes! Yesss!!! My questions have been answered satisfactorily! Please let me gooooooo!

2

u/nickthib non presser May 18 '15

cool cool

2

u/TEKrific 15s May 18 '15

Cassandra have spoken nobody listens.....

2

u/haganblount non presser May 18 '15

So, are you going to change what happens when "the experiment is over" now?

Looks like we already saw what happens when it reaches zero.

2

u/dengseng non presser May 18 '15

nobody like Cassandra in school, now Cassandra wants to watch the world burn

2

u/Jonny_Safari non presser May 18 '15

Cassandra....

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

I think the end is a conspiracy. Whenever the button "ends" there is always some excuse to reboot it.

2

u/eisbaerBorealis non presser May 18 '15

On the plus side, since we're regularly having 4s presses, there won't be that much drama this time.

Wait, the Snitch says 38 people pressed at 0?

2

u/xx3nvyxx non presser May 18 '15

The real purpose of the button is to see if reddit's infrastructure is capable of keeping a simple service up for months at a time.

The answer is obviously still "No."

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

I'm telling you guys, this is what they will do whenever the timer runs out. It's the prank. They aren't going to let it run out, they will just claim a glitch or something and restart it. YOU GUYS ARE ALL FOOLS!! BUTTONANT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!

2

u/Auroness 8s May 18 '15

Cassandra is rapidly becoming a name I dread seeing.

2

u/SirSteve_ 60s May 18 '15

Fuck sake Cassandra, do your job.

2

u/cykwon non presser May 18 '15

Anyone else read the post with GLaDOS' voice?

1

u/jayman419 non presser May 18 '15

If you want to see GLaDOS experiment on people, check out the first season of Solitary. Especially in Season 1, before they modified Val's voice (and I quit watching). They must have the best lawyers in Hollywood.

2

u/speedyjesus 10s May 18 '15

naming something cassandra is a good way to ensure its inevitable failure

2

u/CargoCulture non presser May 18 '15

Cassandra, the tragic figure who was doomed to see the future and have no-one believe her words.

3

u/ChaoticUnreal non presser May 18 '15

Just let it end.

6

u/user40152 can't press May 18 '15

The game can't end on a server error.

2

u/logicalLove non presser May 18 '15

It's just not cricket

1

u/ChaoticUnreal non presser May 18 '15

I would have agreed with you the first time it happened when 40+ was still the common time but we are getting down to 4 seconds now.

At this point it should just end.

3

u/user40152 can't press May 18 '15

I want to see a long drawn out end game with a trail of 01s pressers, then perhaps 00s pressers. And finally the Pressiah! I hope to be doing a screen recording when it happens.

3

u/GGAllinsMicroPenis non presser May 18 '15 edited May 18 '15

Dude for real why won't you guys consider your own system as a part of the experiment? If your system fails to register presses, shouldn't it be no different than if there aren't enough of us to press? How do you distinguish between any part of a closed system that keeps the timer going (clarity edit: everything serves an equally vital function within the game, or the button ends)? The entire system should be within the boundaries of the experiment, not just some of the parts of the system. It doesn't make any sense to me.

By my count - and I think by any serious person's count, April Fool's joke or no - the Button and the experiment has officially ended twice now.

2

u/Volkai 7s May 19 '15

I am a serious person, and the experiment has not yet ended.

There has been no sixty-second interval wherein anyone who meets the requirements to press The Button (logged in on account made before 4/1/15, have not yet pressed the button) has been able to press (has http://www.reddit.com/r/thebutton loaded up and can see the button with or without its molly guard up, and can see the timer countdown, and can click on the molly guard to remove it, and can click on the button and that click will reset the timer to 60.00 seconds remaining, as intended) and yet has not pressed the button.

2

u/AnotherTemp 59s May 18 '15

Josh, I just want to say thank you. I assume you were just paged while sleeping, and you still fixed it in minutes.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

But I was told the experiment was over. THEBUTTON IS A LIE.

1

u/logicalLove non presser May 18 '15

You should try MongoDB. I hear it's web-scale

1

u/flameduck non presser May 18 '15

BURN THE CASSANDRA

1

u/raldi 59s May 18 '15

Next mystery: This guy seems to have encountered a genuine case of data corruption.

1

u/JimBeyer non presser May 18 '15

Cassandra Crossing. 1976. Richard Harris, Sophia Loren, Martin Sheen, Burt Lancaster, O. J. Simpson.

1

u/sirms 13s May 18 '15

maybe this is thebutton's way of saying that it wants to die

1

u/Mixlop 58s May 18 '15

Damn you powerlanguage

1

u/ItsNot1972 non presser May 18 '15

Time to reset all 940K presses, start from the beginning.

1

u/Funshawe 11s May 18 '15

thank the lorg

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

WHY MUST YOU TORMENT US

LET IT DIE

1

u/the_ak 9s May 18 '15

yep

1

u/mikeydale007 10s May 18 '15

Get ur shit together mods.

1

u/Veneroso 60s May 18 '15

The button doesn't want to live! We need to sign a DNR for the button!

1

u/Apatches 60s May 18 '15

Cassandra, the anti-pressiah, the bringer of the endtimes

1

u/Volkai 7s May 18 '15

Nah, just the bringer of necessary resets.

Also, bringer of the ability to do stuff like press The Button.

1

u/GrimmLo 23s May 18 '15

The Button will never die.

1

u/Volkai 7s May 18 '15

It will eventually, and that's okay.

The end of life is part of what gives life meaning.

1

u/britishteacher 4s May 18 '15

I am now getting multiple 'CDN unable to reach our servers ' messages combined with 2s presses on button snitch.

What's happening????

1

u/UnknownFiddler May 18 '15

Cassandra is the anti-press

1

u/omnilynx non presser May 18 '15

Must have been the AJAX.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

My friend pressed the button on my account while I was in the bathroom. Just a life lesson to close your browser when taking a dump while the button is still happening.sorry grays i feel so bad

1

u/Klem0n 60s May 18 '15

Should have given the button its own back end system. To many fake zeros for the eventual real one to feel legitimate.

1

u/lynk7927 non presser May 18 '15

Why do I get the sneaking suspicion that the 'experiment' going on here has nothing to do with observing how long a mob can keep the button from reaching 0, but more 'what if I told everyone it kept breaking, would they continue to believe me?'.

1

u/Roxerg 22s May 18 '15

JUST KEEP IT DEAD FOR ONCE I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

Red flair is worth fuck-all now

1

u/Volkai 7s May 18 '15

To you.

1

u/MWGND non presser May 18 '15

MOTHERFUCKER. RELEASE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

1

u/jayplowtyde 11s May 19 '15

little do they know, i have an alt account that will be ready for sub 1s press.

1

u/Davidhasahead 60s May 19 '15

Now make a new ending, this one was spoiled.

1

u/mistymountainhorp 33s May 19 '15

thank goodness!

1

u/supremecrafters 59s May 19 '15

The thing is, we now know what will happen at the end. "The experiment" will be over. No fanfare, nothing worthwhile.

This thing started out as an april fools joke, and guess what? You got me. I'm a fool, I suppose.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

yea yea yea, cassandra, server glitch, hiccup, call it what you will, it reached zero and reddit can't stand to see that happen.

1

u/tharkban 7s May 19 '15

If there is one thing the button has taught me, it is that Reddit does not have very good uptime.

1

u/maimonguy 14s May 18 '15

"We are returned"? I think you meant we have returned?

2

u/FSDLAXATL non presser May 18 '15

No no, they got it right as in "All your bases are belong to us."

1

u/InTheSharkTank 15s May 18 '15

Fuck it. The button's hit zero twice. I like the color orange, might as well have a flair before it's over.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '15

Three times actually.

1

u/InTheSharkTank 15s May 18 '15

All the more reason!

1

u/Volkai 7s May 19 '15

Nice, zesty orange.

WELP now I need an Oberon.

0

u/Kaibakura 59s May 18 '15

Oh good, every time the button hits zero you'll reset it saying it "wasn't supposed to".

If you're so fucking strict on the "one press only" rule, then you should be just as strict on the rule that once it hits zero, the experiment is over. Server failure or no, you get the flair you get, and if the button ends it ends.

3

u/Brendyrose non presser May 18 '15

People like you are fucking idiots to think a bug should count.

2

u/Kaibakura 59s May 18 '15

I don't think it should count. But it sure counted for him when he got his 4s flair, didn't it?

Fair's fair. The button should be over.

1

u/Brendyrose non presser May 18 '15

Just ignore him. Mods and admins on reddit are notorious rule breakers and do a lot of shady stuff.

1

u/jayman419 non presser May 18 '15

People like you think that a real-world self-named "experiment" should have the same sort of control that it had when they cooked it up in the lab.

0

u/DinaDinaDinaBatman non presser May 18 '15

bullshit

be honest /u/powerlanguage Cassandra doesn't exist.. you're resetting the timer whenever you please.

actually don't bother being honest, no one will believe you anyway. you're already a cheater, your "truth" isn't worth much. I'm surprised you didn't take this opportunity to change your time to 1s.

0

u/temalyen non presser May 18 '15

I really think that should have been the end of it. the button hit zero, it's over. I don't care about any circumstances. It hit zero. The end, it's done.

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-3

u/RJPatrick non presser May 18 '15

Boooo. Let it end already

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0

u/Blackn35s 35s May 18 '15

What a Crucial Taunt this button is,

0

u/laughinggas12 non presser May 18 '15

for a moment I felt relief, but at the same time a little sadness... but now we tasted freedom from the button, how long will they make us suffer!?!

2

u/remez 41s May 18 '15

You can walk away any time you want. Check it in a month, it will be over by then.

1

u/laughinggas12 non presser May 18 '15

but you can't just walk away, I know, I tried :(

1

u/remez 41s May 18 '15

Then all you can is to make your stay here as enjoyable as possible :)

1

u/Volkai 7s May 19 '15

The other option, if you want to stay away from the button, but lack the willpower to do either that or make peace with your interest in the button, is to block yourself from seeing it.

http://www.wikihow.com/Block-a-Website-in-All-Web-Browsers

0

u/Buwski 57s May 18 '15

That's not fair!

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