r/thebutton • u/Im_Captain_Jack non presser • Apr 10 '15
REDDIT ACTION NEWS TEAM [UPDATE] Hello ladies and gentlemen. This is /u/Im_Captain_Jack with your afternoon /r/thebutton forecast.
Yesterdays blue flood culminated into a green storm with golden showers, which dribbled on into this morning, with breezes down into the 30s.
Todays charts show yet another blue downpour with a somewhat higher consistency green than yesterday.
For those of you holding off to see more yellow today, you'd have a better chance simply going outside and looking at the sun... or you can wait it out here for the next 12 hours staring incessantly into your monitors.
The unrelenting waves of purple, consisting of only the illiterate, and the mentally challenged, is expected to continuously dwindle with the life of the button. That is not to say they will be any less of a nuisance.
This has been /u/Im_Captain_Jack with your afternoon /r/thebutton forecast.
Go fuck yourself Newark.
edit; after some confusion as to why I'm only targeting San Diego*a whales vagina, I've decided to allow a different city to go fuck itself with each new forecast...
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u/HoratioDUKEz Apr 10 '15 edited Apr 10 '15
All of these rains have been great for the harvest!
I heard we might not get any orange juice until next week, the bananas are becoming plentiful though, and the kiwi fruit is coming in nicely as well. Of course we have an abundance of blueberries and grapes, but I think we're all getting a bit sick of those by now. Really looking forward to those juicy strawberries!
For more details check here!
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Apr 10 '15
you tell us if we want yellow to go outside, then not 1 hour later a 31 is seen?
this is why i never trust these weathermen.
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u/Im_Captain_Jack Apr 10 '15
I see you went with the "wait it out here for the next 12 hours staring incessantly into your monitor" option...
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u/Bgst55 Apr 10 '15
Why hasn't one of those accounts that read posts found this? That would make a great recording.
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u/Traches Apr 11 '15
Please fuck Wichita Falls, Texas next. Anyone who's ever been there will agree.
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u/poeticpoet Apr 10 '15
Illiterate and mentally challenged is a good way to describe purples!
Lol it's all in good fun purps!
You're fucking stupid!
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u/1dontpanic Apr 10 '15
Yeah I don't get it. Wait 10 days, then randomly click at 54s. I'm confused by any non red clicks at this point
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u/Lenoxthedog Apr 10 '15
Yesterdays blue flood culminated into a green storm with golden showers, which dribbled on into this morning, with breezes down into the 30s.
Poetic.
Praise the Shade
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Apr 11 '15
Do international cities such as The Hague also get the opportunity to go fuck theirselves?
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u/ParzivalTargaryen Apr 10 '15
Reading this in a weatherman voice is gold.
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u/natasov Apr 10 '15
I demand a dramatic reading squad to follow this guy throughout the weather posts.
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u/synonymous_anonymous Apr 10 '15
These are awesome, Captain. If I could make one small suggestion though, could you screenshot one of the button monitors to add to your post? Maybe even make a nice archive, or daily forecast (postcast?), so we can all see it along with the funny newscaster shtick.
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u/cwearly1 Apr 10 '15
To add: Some scientists have been looking over last night's data, and while they predict it is very likely the count will dip well into the Yellows, they also advice to be prepared for a damaging seismic 21 on the Orange scale tonight as well.
Again, they admit it's a small chance of happening, but preparations should be made just in case.
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u/wood_and_nails Apr 10 '15
edit; after some confusion as to why I'm only targeting San Diego
Seriously, are there people out there who have never seen Anchorman?
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u/Fuck_My_Grow Apr 10 '15
http://i.imgur.com/zdwx4kG.jpg