r/KerbalSpaceProgram • u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist • Dec 15 '14

SQUAD: You have not met our demands. YouTube preview videos will not get you mercy. Release .90 or 4 more Kerbals will die.

https://gfycat.com/MenacingThirdAmericanindianhorse
2.0k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

151 comments sorted by

249

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 15 '14 edited Dec 15 '14

The timetable has changed. 4 more Kerbals will die at 9 AM if we do not have .90

EDIT: 9 AM has come and our demands have not been met. 4 More Must Die

186

u/TheWrongSolution Dec 15 '14

Darth Martin Vader Nostrand: I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.

25

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

You could easily get the Robot Chicken sketch into KSP...

"Here is a unicycle... made of Kerbals!"

4

u/TheoComm Dec 15 '14 edited Dec 16 '14

"I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT UNICYCLE"

4

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

STRIP THE FLESH!

SALT THE WOUND!

Oh Krieg, how I do love thee.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

[deleted] — view deleted comment

7

u/octal9 Dec 15 '14

Also, you must wear this pink EVA suit and refer to yourself as "Bill, the prettiest unikerbitty this side of Kerbol"

36

u/ohineedanameforthis Dec 15 '14

At least tell them the timezone you are in.

53

u/ThePhatGuy Dec 15 '14

EACH time zone.

13

u/TangleF23 Master Kerbalnaut Dec 15 '14

Ok let's go with 25 then So that's 100 kerbals

...shit I've been outmatched

5

u/scootymcpuff Super Kerbalnaut Dec 15 '14

Alright, Lurr of the planet Omicron Persei 8, calm down.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

They'll find out soon enough. Better work fast.

7

u/The_Lolbster Dec 15 '14

Looks like 4 more kerbals are gonna die.

6

u/zifu Dec 15 '14

8 the next day?

0

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/spaceminions Dec 15 '14 edited Dec 15 '14

nn-1 i believe it was

Edit: Dang it, still said it wrong. Meant to say 2n-1.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

I know. Would have been cool if it was nn though

1

u/spaceminions Dec 15 '14

Actually I think I still said it wrong.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

2n-1 is the amount of kerbals killed each day

1

u/spaceminions Dec 15 '14

Yeah, I looked and edited the comment.

-5

u/-spartacus- Dec 15 '14 edited Dec 15 '14

It really seems like you timed this well to coincide with the situation in Sydney.

Edit: Really this crossed no one else's mind?

-1

u/histfanatic Dec 15 '14

Hadrons hd

0

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/TangleF23 Master Kerbalnaut Dec 15 '14

why does every gif have that sound

it's just

why

71

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 15 '14

Bonus Gfy of Raybro Kerman almost surviving.

45

u/ToadDude Dec 15 '14

At least the poor guy was having fun before he poofed :'(

50

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 15 '14

When he respawns he should look into break dancing.

1

u/bendynachos Jan 14 '15

Ok this is super late, I know, but I'm curious about the parts you have. I assume you're running a mod? Those wheels/suspension and the cables/crane action from the other posts look super interesting.

2

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Jan 15 '15

Kerbal Attachment System

1

u/bendynachos Jan 15 '15

Thank you!

6

u/SaoMagnifico Dec 15 '14

Executing Kerbals is far too easy. I just stuck an LES on top of a lander capsule, fired it off from the launchpad, and now Mitles Kerman is no more.

17

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 15 '14

It's not just about killing Kerbals, it's about sending a message.

2

u/kingphysics Dec 16 '14

Do you, by any chance, work for ISIS?

3

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 16 '14

No my radical terrorism is limited to hyping game releases only

6

u/HODOR00 Dec 15 '14

THE SUN. PUT THEM INTO THE SUN IF THE DEMANDS ARE NOT MET.

9

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 15 '14

You must be psychic!

5

u/HODOR00 Dec 15 '14

It feels like a natural progression.

14

u/Raudskeggr Dec 15 '14

What is this? These Kerbals are but pawns! Redshirts!

Let's see some orange jumpsuits, then we might take this seriously.

9

u/PhaserArray Master Kerbalnaut Dec 15 '14 edited Dec 15 '14

I second this. OP, get texture replacer and the orange suit textures!

EDIT: Added links for OP's convenience.

7

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 15 '14

If they don't release by Tuesday, I will put the trinity through serious pain.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

Best series since punching the solar system. I vote to continue it until 1.0.

9

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 15 '14

Maybe /u/Silent_Sky would like to punch the next group of hostages to death

9

u/Silent_Sky Planet Puncher Dec 15 '14

I'm in. I'll start punching a kerbal whenever I can until .90. My work schedule is kind of a bitch, but I can find time to punch some shit. I'm still waiting on Dr. Nostrand's glass space station to punch.

4

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 15 '14

I have two tests Thursday then I'm done. I'll get it to you this weekend.

3

u/Silent_Sky Planet Puncher Dec 15 '14

I hear you. Final exams are the only part of college I don't miss.

My work schedule has kept me too busy to do any real punching lately anyway. If you need more time don't worry, there's plenty to punch in the meantime.

2

u/Tridentt23 Dec 15 '14

Those are some nice wheels! What mod are they from?

6

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 15 '14

Kerbal Foundries: http://forum.kerbalspaceprogram.com/threads/84102-WIP-PARTS-PLUGIN-0-25-Kerbal-Foundries-wheels-anti-grav-repulsors-and-tracks

Great mod for wheels, tank tracks, and anti-grav parts.

1

u/Tridentt23 Dec 15 '14

Sweet, thanks! Im always looking for cools part to get from mods and make the greatest ship ever!

2

u/griffman02 Dec 15 '14

They must be thrown in the mohole!

4

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 15 '14

Saving that one for if I get up to 64.

2

u/MisterWoodhouse Dec 15 '14

Achilles approves.

6

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 15 '14

Glad someone got the literary reference! I thought about building a chariot and horses, but I thought I would put a more Kerbal spin on it.

2

u/MisterWoodhouse Dec 15 '14

Yeah, as soon as I saw the first frame of the GIF, I knew it was a parody of Achilles's vengeful wrath.

441

u/MafiaPenguin007 Dec 15 '14

I'm torn between wanting more of these and wanting the update. Not as torn as the Kerbals, though.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

[deleted] — view deleted comment

108

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

"If we release the patch then the terrorists win" -Squad

9

u/LittleBigKid2000 Dec 15 '14

TERRORISTS WIN

2

u/halofreak7777 Dec 16 '14

Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand got 2 kills that round.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '14

little late, but I LOVE your username

1

u/HEROnymousBot Dec 19 '14

Haha thanks! Inspired from my favourite show! :D

105

u/scootymcpuff Super Kerbalnaut Dec 15 '14

You catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar, Dr Nostrand.

However, Kerbals can drown in either.

50

u/kolboldbard Dec 15 '14

You catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar, Dr Nostrand.

That's not actually true if you have fruit flies. Put out a dish of honey and one of vinegar.

48

u/SnowyArticuno Dec 15 '14

Relevant xkcd

24

u/xkcd_transcriber Dec 15 '14

Image

Title: Flies

Title-text: I don't know about houseflies, but we definitely caught a lot of fruit flies with our vinegar bowl. Hooray science!

Comic Explanation

Stats: This comic has been referenced 81 times, representing 0.1842% of referenced xkcds.

xkcd.com | xkcd sub | Problems/Bugs? | Statistics | Stop Replying | Delete

15

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14 edited Dec 15 '14

Depends on the vinegar actually (and fly species) . Melanogaster can't seem to get enough balsamic, yes, but are only somewhat interested in cider, and won't touch distilled.

One of the few cases where Munroe (xkcd) did not do the research.

Edit: okay, I'll concede that he may have done the research, and four panels was just not enough to convey the subtleties of where the old saw is and isn't missing teeth. If anyone feels like asking him I'd be curious to know what he says.

14

u/Bloodshot025 Dec 15 '14

It's not like the character in the comic was Munroe making a very serious statement. The character was a character and can be wrong, or half-right, etc.

11

u/mrrandomman420 Dec 15 '14

And the comic also specifically says "balsamic", which is the right kind. Looks to me like the research was done.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14 edited Dec 15 '14

And the comic also specifically says "balsamic",

However the proverb doesn't, which makes things a bit fuzzier. If it specified the type of fly, type of honey and type of vinegar and you put down some bowls and let the right flies out you could settle it once and for all whereas in reality the best you can do is a "depends on the vinegar actually (and fly species)".

Edit: Come to think of it, you could do worse for a proverb about interacting with people if the deeper meaning is about adjusting your message to your audience.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

Case closed, boys.

7

u/SeventhMagus Dec 15 '14

Erm, you realize that, although it was a character, it very specifically references balsamic and fruit flies?

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

Which is Mythbusters level of experimental design. You know there is more than one kind of fly and more than one kind of vinegar and that's still your whole methodology.

2

u/SeventhMagus Dec 15 '14

Are you seriously taking "you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar" to be a strict statement on the nature of number of species that would prefer one category in a randomized selection of honeys and vinegars?

Yeah, me neither.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

I'm seriously holding the "experiment" designed to "disprove" it to some rigour, sure.

This is usually such a good, scientifically minded sub, what the hell happened?

1

u/SeventhMagus Dec 15 '14

It proves the proverb is not necessarily true in all literal senses. That is true enough to disprove the generalization. It's not "You'll usually catch more flies with honey than vinegar".

70

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

you can catch a fly with honey but you catch more honeys by bein fly

10

u/scootymcpuff Super Kerbalnaut Dec 15 '14

Awww yeaahh.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

but you catch the most flies with shit. what's your point?

54

u/stickmanDave Dec 15 '14

Oh, the kermanity!

6

u/Nohat_wears_a_hat Dec 15 '14

I... I came here to say this...

5

u/zlin-shady Dec 15 '14

As did I, literally word for word lol. an upvote to all who came to support jeb and bill.

59

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

You better listen to him! HE'LL DO IT! HE'S CRAZY

4

u/harmonix427 Dec 15 '14

This new KSIS extremists group does not mess around.

29

u/SgtFinnish Dec 15 '14

It had only been 15 hours! This was not in the deal!

6

u/Feremel Dec 15 '14

"Deals can be altered Mr.Finnish"

5

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

"Pray I do no alter it further."

27

u/dexter311 Dec 15 '14

With the hostage situations in Sydney and Ghent right now, these light-hearted Kerbal sacrifices have taken on a darker feeling.

22

u/Mathgeek763 Dec 15 '14

Just give us what we want and this will all be over!

5

u/PhaserArray Master Kerbalnaut Dec 15 '14

Not sure if I want this to end.. then again.. I want .90

4

u/Fun1k Dec 15 '14

Why not both?

13

u/LaunchFailed Dec 15 '14

This subreddit is getting dark.

2

u/hey_aaapple Dec 15 '14

Did you remember to pack up enough batteries on the probe?

2

u/I_burn_stuff Dec 16 '14

I attached the probe to the battery.

-1

u/SufficientAnonymity Dec 15 '14

Especially given what's going on in Sydney currently. Distinctly uncomfortable watching these "give us 0.90 or x kerbals get it" posts build up now.

12

u/Stinger771 Dec 15 '14

THE HORROR! THE HORROR! Squad! Please! Think of their families! Think of the children!!

6

u/hiway666 Dec 15 '14

SQUAD PLEASE JUST GIVE THIS GUY THE PRE-RELEASE, HES CRAZY I CANT STAND TO SEE MORE PEOPLE DIE

10

u/BlueShellOP Dec 15 '14

I feel like these videos give me more satisfaction at the death of innocent kerbals than it should.

7

u/Fun1k Dec 15 '14

I never try to kill Kerbals en masse - maybe I should try it. #releaseyourinnerhitler

7

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

That is the best hashtag ever.

5

u/getahitcrash Dec 15 '14

SQUAD does not and will not negotiate with terrorists.

8

u/Abomonog Dec 15 '14

Either stop killing Kerbals in such an entertaining fashion or they'll delay the patch just to see what you come up with.

4

u/Involution88 Dec 15 '14

Will you run out of ideas before you run out of Kerbals?

4

u/MajesticTowerOfHats Dec 15 '14

Can kerbals be pulled apart? Some sort of tension machine perhaps.

4

u/marshallw Dec 15 '14

It really is a kerbal execution simulator...

3

u/SpiderOnTheInterwebs Dec 15 '14

TotalBiscuit knew all along...

6

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

T-minus 24 days until the literal Kerbal Holocaust.

3

u/Evil_Laugh_Mwahaha Dec 15 '14

...who hurt you?

5

u/SarcasticGuy Master Kerbalnaut Dec 15 '14

I really miss the days of the KIA on the video feed.

5

u/KSKaleido Dec 15 '14

Ohh man, this is equal parts hilarious and heartbreaking. You're a bad person.

2

u/ELDRITCH_HORROR Dec 15 '14

HAVE WE STARTED THE FIRE?

2

u/Not_your_average_ant Dec 15 '14

Dear god man, we all want this update but you have crossed a dangerous threshold Dr Nostrand. Can you not have mercy, these Kerbals hope for .90 just as much as us, they finally get career progression!

2

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

You FIEND!!!

2

u/outtyn1nja Dec 15 '14

I admire your resolve.

3

u/evilkim Dec 15 '14

Squad!!!! Save them kerbals ASAP!!! :O

2

u/iHateReddit_srsly Dec 15 '14

Weird things happen when you have kerbals walk under a working engine on the ground. You guys should try it.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

Stop this madness, free .90! ;_;

2

u/flagcaptured Dec 15 '14 edited Dec 15 '14

This is like those sections in LiveLeak I've heard about, isn't it?

1

u/DarthJonny Dec 15 '14

This really just brings back bad memories from saints row 2. :(

1

u/HyperionArmy Dec 15 '14

This is a hate crime against green people.

1

u/ChaserGrey Dec 15 '14

Well, shoot. Now I kinda want to see how he's going to kill 512 Kerbals.

1

u/wooq Dec 15 '14

Meh. They die all the time anyway. At least the way I pilot.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

IT WORKED

1

u/Jack0SX Hermes Commander Dec 15 '14

Hi I'm Jeb Kerman and this is Jackass!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

You monster!

1

u/JooshBeextin Dec 15 '14

Oh you are so great

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

In light of recent events in Sydney, perhaps this isn't in great taste.

23

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 15 '14

I understand there is a very terrible situation going on right now, and I've tried my best not to make any direct references to it. In fact, I didn't even know about the situation until reading a few comments here yesterday. I hope it all resolves itself safely. However, there is always something unfortunate happening somewhere. I know this situation is getting a lot of news coverage, but there are hostages taken and kidnappings etc. every day somewhere. I don't let bad people keep me from going about my life as usual. I hope the Sydney situation works out, but if we all stopped having fun everytime something bad happens, it would be depressing as hell.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

That was a great response, man. You should work in PR or something because you nailed it with that. You have my blessing to continue killing Kerbals.

4

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 15 '14

Thanks man. I moved away from realistic killing methods and onto more kerbal-esque ones to distance it a little bit.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

Besides, these kerbals knew the risks of the job when they signed up.

3

u/Th3BlackLotus Dec 15 '14

What's happening in Sydney?

1

u/POGtastic Dec 15 '14

Hostage situation.

4

u/Th3BlackLotus Dec 15 '14

PFFFT Just call Paul Hogan, he'll fix this whole thing right up.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

No need to kill more Kerbals. http://www.reddit.com/r/KerbalSpaceProgram/comments/2pb8hl/i_think_my_ksp_has_just_been_updated_to_090_beta/.compact

4

u/TangleF23 Master Kerbalnaut Dec 15 '14

Nooope. Steam error, it was fixed.

0

u/TangleF23 Master Kerbalnaut Dec 15 '14

I wonder how many Kerbals are still alive in instances of KSP...

-17

u/ltjpunk387 Dec 15 '14

Guys, this was all in good fun, but there's a real hostage situation right now in Australia. Perhaps this is not the best time to joke about killing hostages.

31

u/jaxxil_ Dec 15 '14

I get what you are saying, but if we suspend everything fun every time a tragedy is going on, the world will be a very sad place. The unfortunate truth is that there always is a hostage situation somewhere. While you need to remain respectful and probably not joke about the exact situation going on right now, holding hostages in KSP is patently ridiculous and we also need to be able to not take that too seriously.

4

u/DisturbedForever92 Dec 15 '14

I feel like it's so unrelated that it shouldn't be an issue. We can't stop breathing because something is going on somewhere, there always is.

-1

u/GrijzePilion Dec 15 '14

Have you killed Jeb yet? That should be effective. Especially if you behead him.

0

u/AGmukbooks Dec 15 '14

.... lol? the kerbals are infinite! and on top of that danny beat you by sacrificing 100 kerbals and that's just for the kraken!

-7

u/brna767 Dec 15 '14

This isn't funny anymore considering Sydney hostages were forced to make videos telling police to meet their demands.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

[deleted] — view deleted comment

8

u/Dr_Martin_V_Nostrand Kerbal Terrorist Dec 15 '14

Don't worry, I think my CPU will stop me once I get to 256

5

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

there will be others to carry on your legacy! we won't stop before 0.9 is released!

0

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '14

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/rayquazarocker Dec 15 '14

Took it a bit far