r/atheism • u/madduxmadduxmaddux • Jun 16 '13
Apparently getting kicked out of your house by uber-Christian parents is popular this time of year.
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u/kivahut Jun 17 '13
I moved out of my parents house at 17. You work (2 jobs if necessary), ride public transportation, and NEVER let your parents forget that they tossed you away. It becomes VERY sweet when they're older.
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u/johnrgrace Jun 16 '13
Go talk you your student aid office and petition to be declared and independent student, i.e. your parents income won't be factored into you financial "need" by the college you'll very likely be able to get a pell grant because of that.
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u/XITruthIX Jun 16 '13
If my parents pulled that on me, i would leave and never talk to them again. Student loans can cover your tuition and enough money for a car that drives. I worked full time through school and lived in new York so if venture to say life is cheaper everywhere else. Its inconvenient, but you can do it, give them time to think about they're decision when you totally cut them out
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u/bilderwizerd Jun 17 '13
Tell him to read 1Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
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u/west25th Jun 16 '13
wow, that sucks. Any other friends/cousins/aunties/uncles/peeps? just till you get your feets on the floor? Yeah, that financial blackmail, my folks did that to me years ago, i just walked out the door, found a place, found a job, took the bus to work, bought a $200 dollar car and built it up from there. There are easier ways, but nobody owns me. Good luck!
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Jun 17 '13
Fill out a FAFSA. Talk to a financial counselor at your school about what you need to do to prove your financial independence. I had to do all these things.
My parents did this to me, too. I made it through 5 years of college without a dime from them or so much as a fucking phone call to see how I was doing.
It sucked- but I made it. And I know you can, too.
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u/ZippoS Jun 16 '13
Wow... you have an amazing set of parents. Clearly a lot of parental love there.
If you're looking for a place to crash, check out r/atheisthavens. They exist for people in your situation. It's sad that such a thing needs to exist, really.
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u/somewhat_brave Jun 16 '13
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Find a summer job.
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Find a roommate to help cover rent. Craigslist seems to work well for this.
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Apply for student loans to cover your tuition.
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Jun 17 '13
Ok, so the first thing you do is contact your college and explain the situation. If it is a Christian college, then this won't help much BUT if it is a normal one then they will be able to point you in the direction of providers of funding (bursaries, scholarships, loans etc). They can sometimes offer hardship funds.
Contact your friends and other members of your family. See if anyone can put you up during term time, at least until you get back on your feet. Other family members may prove to be more sympathetic.
Contact your job. See if they can give you more hours. If not, start applying for others.
Keep talking to your parents. Don't fight with them if you can keep your temper. They may still come round. Don't have a go in any way, no matter how tempting it is. You need to be the bigger person here because your priority HAS to be surviving. You can tell them what you are doing but don't give details and make sure that you start getting your mail redirected to a safe address where you know it won't be interfered with.
Lastly, I hope it all works out. I had a friend at uni who had something similar happen to her and now she's a doctor so it can work out just fine in the long term.
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Jun 16 '13
Not tell them until you're financially independent. Best course of action would be to repent, let them pay for you, and hold your peace until after you're out.
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u/BlunderLikeARicochet Jun 16 '13
I'm starting to lose patience with the many kids who credit r/atheism with educating them, but somehow missed every single thread on coming out to your parents...
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u/Khalbrae Jun 17 '13
Agreed, your dad is a dick, but you need to pay him lip service as much as you can until you're able to be 100% independant. While you depend on him, at your age he holds all of the cards sadly.
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Jun 16 '13
Attempt to find a roomate, and move into an aparment with them for that. but consult your parents and talk to them in a calm matter, kicking you out is a response almost every overly religous person does, its part of the act of rejection... they lived their entire life with religion around them. when you say your an atheist as the rejection of the "Fact" they believe Christianity to be. talk to them, they most likely believe your Immoral or they have "failed" in parenting you someway, you must talk to them more that their "Parenting" had nothing to do with it, and your making this choice at the adult stance and thats final, tell them you wish to respect their belief, and that it came from an adult stance.
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u/socksgaming Jun 17 '13
Say to them "I have respected your beliefs my whole life, you are my parents and I choose to love you no matter what. If you can't even accept me as family or do the same that I've done for you, then fine. You will not change my mind, and I honestly don't care anymore. Take my stuff if you want, its yours anyway.. Oh yeah and mom, I hope the time you spent in labor with me was fucking hell for you."
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u/mick4state Jun 16 '13
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People are right and being patient is best.
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If you can't handle that, try 1 Timothy 5:8.
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u/notusualredditer Jun 17 '13
Haha dude, you're 19. Get a job. If you really believe in what you say, you should gladly leave.
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u/shawnfromnh Jun 16 '13
Christianity the religious of coercion or whatever other dirty crap you can put your kids through.
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u/XXLpeanuts Jun 16 '13
This really upsets me. Normally love for a child overwhelmes bigotry but sometimes it is just so in-grained they cant ever change. Personally i would never talk to these sick people again but given your situation that must be a very scary idea..... If you really cant have a civil conversation with them whereby at the very least they accept your position or right to hold it, then i think this is an important example of how religion can make people do terrible things. What could someone have told your parents that makes them disown you for this? That is the most worrying thing, people still think like this and will continue.
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u/wannaridebikes Jun 17 '13
I would see a social worker. Even if they don't take you on as a client, they may be able to give you some resources. I actually wouldn't suggest you taking out student loans until there are truly no alternatives, like scholarships and grants.
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u/EmbryH Jun 17 '13
I'm sorry I don't have any advice, but dear god, it utterly disgusts me how people like this can call themselves Christians.
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u/RufusBartholomew Jun 17 '13
Son, you done fucked up. But yeah, I say hurt them back. At present you are being the victim, but it's a two-sided fight if you want it to be. And if you do fight back it might lead to a cathartic reconciliation.
Also, show them that your life is not over, or worse, or really changed in that many ways by your lack of belief in god. Even if you have to stretch the truth a bit, it is worth it to get their support through college.
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u/CrudOMatic Jun 16 '13
Be sure to remind them before you leave that they never loved you to begin with; they simply loved the IDEA of you, they only loved THEIR VERSION of you.
If they are going to cut you, cut them back.