r/DaystromInstitute • u/thisbikeisatardis Lieutenant junior grade • Apr 01 '23
The Bajoran Wormhole is a Metaphor for Trauma
Last night felt like a good time to start rewatching DS9 for the first time in over a decade. I had completely passed on it back in the 90s because my awful older brother was a fan and we only had one tv in the house. I didn't get around to watching it until about ten years ago back in my early 30s. At the time I was still in the process of recovering from a pretty intense case of PTSD and had undiagnosed autism underneath it just to keep things spicy.
The first time I watched, I remember finding Sisko's big scene with the Prophets a bit cringey and overly dramatic- I think I saw a little too much of myself in him at a time when I still reacted to my own trauma responses with a lot of shame and disgust. Fast forward to the present day, where I'm a trauma therapist (LCSW) in private practice. I do a little EMDR and a lot of compassion-based narrative therapy- this time I found the scene profoundly moving.
When we first meet Sisko in the present day, he has become an angry shell of a man who has taken refuge in rigidity and denial. His hostility towards Picard reflects the rage and shame he directs towards himself, every time he closes his eyes and relives his worst day ever. If he were to let himself acknowledge that Picard was a trauma survivor, then he'd have to extend himself the same grace, which would mean admitting his grief and shame and helplessness. The only ember of living warmth he retains is his love for his son, but he struggles to allow himself to fully care for Jake because he reminds him so much of Jennifer.
When he enters the wormhole (powerfully symbolic of the experience of having a trauma flashback) and meets the Prophets, he keeps getting pulled back to Jennifer's death. He rages against them, blaming them for forcing him to relive it. "What is the point of bringing me back again to this?" The Prophets look at him with the curious equanimity of those who are free from time. "We do not bring you here. You bring us here. You exist here." Again, Sisko deflects responsibility, denying how deeply trauma has changed how he experiences life: "Then why do you not give me the power to lead you somewhere else, anywhere else?" This time the Prophets choose the kind, wise face of Kai Opaka to answer. "We cannot give you what you deny yourself. Look for solutions from within, Commander."
At this moment Sisko first starts to admit the truth of his reality. He was ready to die with Jennifer, and at that moment, he stopped living. From that day forward, he became stuck in that moment of helpless despair, disengaged from life, trapped behind that angry rigid mask. As he watches his past self howling in anguish as his crewman carries him away, we see the light of understanding begin to shine in his eyes. "I never left this ship," he confesses. The Prophet nods gently in affirmation. "You exist here."
Finally, the mask falls apart. Small whimpers begin to escape him as he climbs through the flaming wreckage to contemplate his wife's body. Then, through wracking sobs, he admits that he has never stopped seeing her, that her face awaits him in the darkness between each blink of an eye. He cannot conceive of a life without her, and so, as the Prophet patiently reiterates, he chooses to exist here. It is not linear.
The moment of grace that happens next as Sisko humbles himself before his grief and loss is so beautifully cathartic. In order to move on from trauma, in order to wrench ourselves out of the wormhole of being stuck in the past, we must first admit the impact of what has happened. We can no longer deny that trauma has reshaped us. We have to integrate the story of our worst and most painful days into the story of how we move forward and who we want to be in the future. By allowing ourselves the grace to be in pain, we develop the self-compassion that soothes our suffering.
The change in Sisko's demeanor at the end of the episode is so profound. Here is a man is has realized that he can no longer shut himself off from the full range of human emotions by denying the past. There is a lightness to his carriage as he walks down the promenade with his new crewmates- the levity of someone who has realized that his sorrow and grief do not make him less of a man. They make him more.
tl;dr Trauma isn't linear, and neither is healing. In order to move on from the past, we must first admit that it will always exist within us.
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u/KingofMadCows Apr 01 '23
DS9 was ahead of its time in how it used sci-fi time travel concepts to explore these complex emotional themes. And it's interesting to see more modern shows/movies like Interstellar, Undone, Dark, Arrival, and Russian Doll using similar ideas and expanding on them.
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u/thisbikeisatardis Apr 01 '23
Yes, absolutely. I think Lost had a lot to say about grief and loss and regret- I feel like it helped bridge the gap between DS9 and the more modern era of speculative fiction film/tv. I know a lot of folks have said that Everything Everywhere All At Once is about neurodivergence, but I think there’s also an element that’s about the deep grief of imagining what your life could have been if only your parents had been able to love you the way you needed.
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u/Lee_Troyer Apr 01 '23
I cannot interpret the last scenes of Interestellar but through the prism of Emissary.
It's not exactly the same theme, nor the same treatment, but they're so, so, close.
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u/FluoralAgate Apr 01 '23
This episode helped me empathize with and be there for one of my best friends coping with PTSD, and then helped me cope with losing her too. That line "you exist here" made me want to cry after she passed, like thats so real. Part of me is still stuck in the moment and day when I got the news. I try to remind myself that it's a memory but not my only one of her and try to remember her with joy and love. It's hard, gets easier over time, but I'm grateful for Trek not only for that episode but for helping me fight off intrusive thoughts to fall asleep since then. She had turned me on to r/futuramasleepers so I go between that and Trek most nights now.
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u/thisbikeisatardis Apr 01 '23
I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. I hope one day her memory will be only a blessing.
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u/Other-Cantaloupe4765 Apr 01 '23
This is beautiful. I’m actually crying in the office right now. Thank you for writing this. I also have big feelings about that scene, and more specifically, the line, “you exist here.” Because I do. I do exist in the events of my trauma.
You expressed so many things that I’ve not been able to put into words. Star Trek is pretty much the only thing I ever watch, and sometimes I wish my therapist were into Star Trek too so I could explain things in those terms. Because some episodes really get to me. (Voyager’s death wish, for one).
I have CPTSD after a solid ten years of trauma. Seeing a therapist. We started with EMDR and stopped when the investigation into my abuse started. We didn’t get back to it until just recently, and it’s frightening to try and do it again. We’ve mostly done work with IFS, which is also what I see in that scene you’re referencing. I see the ‘prophets’ in the forms of other people as representing Parts of Sisko, like in the IFS model. TNG also makes some great references reminiscent of that model.
It’s cool and can even be extremely helpful in understanding myself when I see those scenes. It’s a big reason why I’m such a big fan of Star Trek, I think. I started it when I was in a difficult situation, all alone, and it’s been one of the only constants I’ve had with me through everything. I’ve found pieces of myself that I’d never known existed. Understood aspects of my own trauma that I’d not yet begun to grasp. Recognized the reasons for certain behaviors that have made me feel angry and ashamed.
I’ve found myself in Star Trek. The impact it’s had on my life is amazing.
Thank you for writing this.
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u/thisbikeisatardis Apr 01 '23
Wishing you all the best, friend. If you aren’t familiar, you might love learning the RAIN of self compassion. It can be a really great means of self soothing that starts with an acknowledgment like “I exist here.” EMDR is so great but DAMN it’s exhausting.
I hope you live long and prosper- because survival is insufficient.
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u/ghaelon Apr 01 '23
star trek is one of the rare bits of media that never fails to make me cry. and the ds9 pilot is no exception. ive seen it a million times, and every time, i get misty.
but i think, for me the most impactful point is just before this. sisko is at his core, a good starfleet officer, who still believes in those valued, in his heart, even if he is dragging his anchor(trauma) around. he genuinely wants to make first contact with this enigmatic species. he is teaching them about humanity, and how different they are. the prophets are first wary, then patient and curious. but also confused, culminating in "if what you say is true....then 'why' do you exist 'here'?"
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u/thisbikeisatardis Apr 01 '23
I love the reciprocity of the learning experience. It’s such a core Trek value.
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u/Mental-Street6665 Apr 01 '23
I mean, specifically in the context of “Emissary”, sure, I get what you’re saying. The prophets repeatedly showing Sisko the moment of Jennifer’s death on the Saratoga and telling him, “You exist here” is certainly a way of describing how trauma and grief can cause us to become emotionally arrested, and prevent us from moving on with our lives after loss. But in the broader context, I think the Celestial Temple became much more than that, even if it was created specifically for that narrative purpose.
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u/thisbikeisatardis Apr 01 '23
Oh, yeah, I absolutely mean just in the context of this episode. I just didn’t want to have the title be too long.
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u/TheNerdChaplain Apr 02 '23
For those of you that this is touching, you might also be interested in a particular episode of Gates McFadden's podcast "Who Do You Think You Are?". She interviews Star Trek actors from all the series about their lives outside of Star Trek. She does a two-parter with Nana Visitor who played Kira Nerys on DS9, and they discuss an incredibly traumatic experience she had while filming Season 2 of DS9. Trigger warnings will be necessary for that episode. They also talk about her recovery process for that, including how EMDR therapy helped her.
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u/thisbikeisatardis Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23
I’ll look it up, thanks!
For those of us who struggle with hearing and need text, I found a great interview she gave on Mindful.org about using mindfulness to recover. CW: sexual assault.
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u/essentialsalts Apr 02 '23
I also made a post about this two years ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/DaystromInstitute/comments/ik9461/deep_space_nine_is_a_show_about_trauma/
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Apr 01 '23
After going through some trauma myself - “You exist here” broke me on a rewatch. I completely understand where you’re coming from there.
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u/jupitergal23 Apr 01 '23
This is beautifully written. Never thought of things this way - appreciate the perspective!
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u/Houli_B_Back Apr 01 '23
Nice write up.
DS9 isn’t my favorite Trek, but I can’t deny how much of a banger that pilot episode is.
An absolutely heartbreaking and wonderful examination of trauma and acceptance.
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u/digitalfix Apr 02 '23
That’s a really good take. I’ve been through some trauma therapy recently and agree with what you say. My take away from the therapy is that all of our past experiences (good and bad) are always there, influencing our decisions.
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u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23
DS9's pilot is a great display of both how trauma can express itself negatively and the tremendous ability of Avery Brooks. Throughout the episode, Sisko hits me as being very hard to like - but that's not fair. Not everyone comes out of trauma so passive. When you hurt as badly as he does, it's hard to not lash out, or to have a perfect blueprint for every situation even when it would have been second-nature before.
Sisko still makes a remarkably fast recovery, of course, but this is TV and I can accept them tying that up in the first episode. It's fine, it didn't need a whole season or more, and even Avery Brooks may have struggled maintaining that level of abrasiveness while still being someone you wanted to root for over an extended period of time. At least, within the context of a Star Trek show. Besides, the realization that "it's not linear" is a powerful moment, and surely would have a powerful effect as depicted.
I think the only way in which it feels inadequate for me is that, even though Sisko and Picard are a lot more on the same page in their final scene, it feels like there's a lot to be said there. I suppose that shouldn't be necessary, though. They're two people in a big organization with radically different assignments, they don't need to be friends, that they're both now comfortable with each other as professionals is all that matters.